I was on a family trip this weekend with my boyfriend and his family. He’s a pretty stoic guy but I’m learning more about him (I’m more emotional).
We went boating and I had an accident; my hand got crushed under my wakeboard and rope when I fell on the water and it smashed my nails. My nails turned black & blue. I was in so much visible pain and was wincing and trying not to cry out. He asked once if I was okay but didn’t really say anything rest of the ride and sat with his friend.
When we got back to the house, I rushed to get ice. I was clearly crying and shaking it hurt so bad. He walked in and went to another room and didn’t speak to me rest of night. Changed the subject and told me to just clean up and do chores the next time he saw me. I think he asked once if I was ok, but it was hours later and he didn’t even look at me. I clearly wasn’t okay. Barely spoke to me rest of evening and didn’t ask about it on ride back.
I’ve never seen a reaction from a guy like this before. is he uncomfortable and thinks I’m overreacting? In the past, he’s always responded emotionlessly to my verbal problems, but this was a real situation and he kind of brushed it off. Kind of concerned me.
am I wrong to feel uncomfortable? I’ve had problems with this guy before. Where I’m upset and he says like “oh well, that’s just life” and walks away. Is he incapable of being emotional? Also, is this something to break up over? Esp. if it keeps happening.
thanks guys
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It depends. When he asked if you were ok what did you say? Whatever you tell him as far as how you feel that’s what it is to him. If you say you’re ok then you’re ok. Don’t expect a man to read your mind. Not to mention a lot of women cry over the simplest little things. For one as a man we’re usually told to stop crying, man up. So when your feelings are neglected you learn to deal w it as he said when he said that’s life. So it is hard to relate to people, especially women when you’ve always basically been told to shut up all your life about your feelings. Even nowadays it happens as a grown man.
Ah, that’s so sad! I’m sorry that men feel that way & experience that :( I didn’t know that and guess I will try to stop relying on him for support.
thanks for this. I tried to suck it up but I’m pretty sure I told him I wasn’t ok. My finger might be broken too. He hasn’t called me back since we returned from trip. Super weird. He’s just really cloistered about his emotions so maybe that’s it. I appreciate this answer so much!
A lot of us men don’t know how to respond to a girls emotions, especially if it’s something like crying. Most men feel bad or guilty when a girl starts crying. But you don’t know how to respond most of the time because most of those emotions we’ve never really experienced. Men really don’t have anyone to rely on, they have to rely on theirselves. In society women have all kinds of support systems, men, not so much. As to why he hasn’t contacted you, I’m not sure. I don’t think he wouldn’t contact you over your finger. It’s hard to say. But understand that men and women don’t think alike, especially emotionally. That’s why men are always wrong when it comes to women because we don’t respond the way they want us to. Again just a lot of inexperience w that. Women seem to think that whatever they’re thinking were supposed to think the same and if we don’t we’re wrong. That’s probably why a lot of men don’t talk as well, your feelings get dismissed.
No, that's not normal.
Sounds like he is a jerk