Why do guys contradict themselves? Do I end my friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

A bit of background: I started a friends with benefits a few months ago. We both agreed on the same terms: we don’t want a relationship, (this is important) just good friends who have sex.
We are very open and communicate how we feel. I told him how recently my feelings have developed and changed but I *still* don’t want a relationship. All was cool!

until the other evening.

He mentioned he might start dating again. I told him that was cool, but we would have to stop sleeping together. He then said he didn’t want to date anymore.

he told me he feels he’s always ready for a relationship (note; he said he didn’t want one a few months ago)

I opened up to him about how I fear I will always love people more than they love me. He was very sharp and kept reassuring that couldn’t possibly be and I don’t know how people feel about me.

He then said he feels guilt that I love him but he only likes me (2 sentences prior he said he felt exactly the same)

Am I reading into things too much? I’m really confused I can’t lie. Everything had been great for months but now I’m questioning things. Any advice or insight would be much appreciated!

(note: we are really good friends and are heavily intertwined within a tight nit friendship group. Cancelling friendships is not an option people)

thank you!

[_Maya_]

Yeah so I am not sure what the actually issue is here. He said that he wouldn't date if that meant you can't be friends with benefits anymore. So seems like it would go back to what to was right? You would just have sex and no relationship? Isn't that your aim here? Maybe I am not understanding the situation and you can correct me I am not. As far as your feelings changing how do you mean? I see you said you still don't want a relationship with him but feelings are different. How are they different and is it a bad thing?

[Asker]

If he wants something more I feel like I’m holding him back. I’m confused by the contradictions, ie saying he’s always ready for a relationship but then saying he doesn’t want one.
I’m concerned he’s feeling/wanting more than he’s letting on.
I realised that I love him but still want to remain single

[_Maya_]

Ah gotcha. Well I think he might be telling you that so he still gets to sleep with you. I know it is back and forth with him but deep down he doesn't want to lose that privilege. He could just be torn as to what he really wants.

[_Maya_]

Thank you for most helpful opinion!

[KrakenAttackin]

You have a fuck buddy, which makes you a hoe. What's your question?

[Asker]

What an odd statement.

[Anonymous]

Advise what? That question was as clear as mud.

[Asker]

Advice on where to go from here. The possibility of him wanting more from me and not vocalising or potentially me holding him back from a relationship. The contractions are confusing!

[Opinion Owner]

They're not confusing. He wanted to see how you'd react. He MIGHT want to to date. But he still wants you as an option. That's why he did a 180 when you said "ok, but if he dates somebody then you guys were done sleeping together".

[spartan55]

That friends with benefits is great isn't it?

[Asker]

I think friends with benefits can be a great thing! If both sides are on the same page and communicating.

[spartan55]

It never works

[MaxUsefull]

This kind of relationship doesn’t work

[shades777]

sure i guess