How do I know for sure if he likes me back?

[Anonymous]

So I’m really into this guy but I’m not sure how to know if he likes me back. Part of me tells me he does like me, and the other part of me thinks that he will never like me. I have known him for a few months now and how grown to really like him. I rarely start conversations with him because I’m too nervous and don’t know what to say. I also don’t want to come off as I’m like obsessed with him or something. Last week when we were at church he invited me to eat with him and some other guys. I had no idea he was going to, I had planned to eat with my parents. He mainly talked to his friends, but I think it was because they wanted to talk about sports. My mom was freaking out saying he likes me, but in the back of my mind all I could think was “oh he felt sorry for me or something so he felt guilty and invited me.” It probably meant nothing and he just invited me to be nice but I don’t know how to know for sure. I want to talk to him so bad but I usually avoid him and eye contact at all costs out of fear of rejection. I want to get to know him, but I don’t want him to know me because what if he dislikes me. I also noticed he is more likely to talk to me if his parents aren’t around. Does that mean he’s too embarrassed of me to talk in front of his parents or does it mean something good like maybe he gets nervous? Occasionally I catch him looking at me but I don’t want to think he likes me if he doesn’t. I guess basically I’m asking, how do I talk to him? What are some conversation starters? How do I get him to speak to me first? And how do I know if he likes me?

[BCRanger10]

When we're interested in someone, we tend to project. We overestimate our influence in their lives.

So basically, it's hard to tell. What I usually tell people is that if they have their heart set on a certain person, then they should ask them out (unless, of course, one of the two parties is married or in a relationship). So that's what you need to do. It's all about wording though. Don't ask him to "hang out", "meet up", or anything like that. Ask him "would you like to join me for x-activity (and for goodness sake, DON'T call it "x-activity" 😄)?" Use intentional language. And if he asks if it's a date, then you tell him "yes" if that's what you want.

Whether he likes you or not is irrelevant. You want him, so you pursue him. Let him decide if he likes you or not, if you're good enough for him or not, or any of the other fears that people have regarding the object of their affection.

[AjayOnTheInternet]

I can't tell you if he likes you or not, solely off of this post. I can hopefully give some helpful advice. People give several body language cues while you are chatting, or just near them. Look into these body language cues and you'll even catch yourself doing some, because it happens subconsciously.

Men tend to subconsciously lean in when you speak, tilt their head when you speak, try to make longer eye contact, smiles, the list goes on.

You also have to determine is he more extroverted or introverted. If he's introverted he might avoid eye contact because he likes you. Extroverts tend to be more confident and hold eye contact longer.

This is where body language can also help. Whether an extrovert or introvert the body language will shine the most truth.

[BigDog1989]

tell him