I was upset because we had a chance to sleep over (since my parents are gone.) which we never do due to our strict parents and he doesn’t want to take it he wants to spend Thanksgiving with his family. I just feel bad. He was the one saying okay goodnight by the way and i was the one writing the paragraphs. He agreed to staying over on Wednesday but it seemed forced why do I have to ask a guy so much?
Updates
5 mo
Hi guys i was more mad that i had to ask him to please sleep over not that he wanted to be with his family i was a little disappointed though because I had plans and thought it would’ve been cute to have our first Thanksgiving together so i was disappointed about that but more upset about feeling like extra time together is an obligation to him.
When a guy talks to you like this does it mean that he doesn’t love you anymore?
Honestly your text did come off as a little much. I mean its Thanksgiving. I could not tell my family I could not come over for Thanksgiving because I am going to get laid.
I mean that is his family, and you are trying to compete with that? Thats like a dude, dating a woman with children and then the man trying to compete with her kids for her attention.
He's coming over on Wednesday, you got what you wanted so chill a little.
I think it comes off as if you have a lack of respect in him. and you are trying to manipulate him into you spending time with you over his family. Thats not cool.
I'm with @DaveJord below. I'm not going to cancel a family get together for a sleepover. I'm an adult, so I'll have a sleepover whenever I want, first off, and secondly, you're a girlfriend, not even a fiancé. That needy wall of text will keep you from that promotion.
You don't have a ring, you aren't a fiancée. I'm supposed to be rich and handsome and get massages from cherubim every day but I'm not so I don't. He's supposed to be with his real family on Thanksgiving, and honestly after your screenshot I'd be calling the wedding off.
it means he is bad at communication and you nee to work on that. He also doesn't seem to put an effort, but that is only from that convo that i can tell
Holy hell you're insane, you're not aware at all how smothering you're being are you? Calling him multiple times just because he didn't respond right away? Seek help, you may have undiagnosed personality disorders because that is not healthy or normal.
I used to do shit like that until. I realized how toxic it was.
I'm sorry for being rude with my response it was uncalled for. I completely understand the anxiety but please for the sake of your relationship, cool it a little bit. When I was 22 I was the same way and it ruined a lot of relationships. If he's getting married to you, he loves you, he wants you, he sees something in you. He doesn't need to be with you every time you desire it because he has his own life and his own family and responsibilities etc. Marriage is legally a binding contract but you don't own the person you marry, you have to let them live too or else you risk pushing them away. I know your intentions are good, I know it in my heart. I would apologize to him, even if you feel like you didn't do anything wrong, just show him that you care about him and voice your feelings without getting accusatory or making assumptions.
I’m usually not like this I got upset because I made plans and we do only see each other twice a week. Everything is good now we ended up talking. I just felt like he acts like being with me for extra time was some sort of obligation. But I told him how I felt and we talked about it he said it wasn’t true and he did call me an obligation once in the past but he clarified that he meant that he saw me as an obligation because I’m a part of him? Whatever that means lol I’ll take his word for it
I sometimes get mad at him for not answering when I really want to talk and I sometimes call him 😂 sometimes i just get mad because i miss him then i see him and it all goes away
Give my example , I don't want to enter into never ending SMS at the end of the day , I hate that , it ruins my sleep.
He's probably had a big day and doesn't want to go though all that right now , if he loved you prior he loves you now , please cut him a little slack , take a deep breathe look at a beautiful picture or scenery , you are overthinking it. He is probably as upset as you.
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8 Reply
Asker
5 mo
What kind of a guy wouldn’t want to sleep over with their girl friend? I feel like I basically had to beg him
Im sure he wants to spend the night with you , I can remember many occassions when I was around your age , my girlfriend always wanted me to stay over , sometimes I just couldn't , in the end we cut a deal , I rented an apartment near her parents house , and she paid half the rent , so then I told here , its " yours a mine " you stay when you want , she basically moved in and that was fine.
There could be other issues he hasn't explained yet to you.
He doesn't love you or care about you. Just ignore him and find another guy. Find a guy that actually wants to spend time with you and prioritizes you. You're 22 so don't waste your time chasing a guy. Act like a lady!
in a relationship someone always loves one more than the other. i think you know which one you are, you should drop em if you ain’t ok with that. i’ve been broken up with twice for not caring, but usually it makes a girl just want you more if you careless and they want you less if you care too much. it’s so insane when you figure that out
I love all of your replies helpful woman, what an icon you are. I briefly glanced over that screenshot and I would not be surprised if he left you over this dude. You're not entitled to his time at all, his family comes first. You need to reevaluate yourself before you end up alone because no one should put up with that type of behavior.
