Why do my guy friends constantly tease and belittle me?

[Tephra]

Im not sure if this is a guy way of showing affection. I know guys do it to each other but they do it to me and it gets a bit extensive. Usually 2 or 3 of them would throw insults and such at me. It got to the point where I had enough because there was 6 guys doing it and told them off for it

They kept the teasing down to a minimum now and explained they do a little "trolling" and "memeing" and did not mean anything by it. Then it got to the point where a couple started indirectly belittling me.

Some have completely stopped, others have respected my wishes and kept it very mild and one other continues this behaviour.

They said I am way too sensitive but I believe there is a line to be drawn? Like not insulting or belittling. I feel like they try to pull me down, I started playing FPS games and they pull me down with that, teasing and belittling me. None of them play with me anymore because I am apparently very bad at the game.

I have no idea what to do. One of them has completely stopped and does not cross the line. The rest cannot have a conversation with without belittling me once.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that sounds really annoying. I can understand why you'd get fed up with all the constant teasing and insults.

When guys rag on each other, there's usually more of an understanding that it's all in fun. But it doesn't sound like these dudes know when to quit with you. Talking shit about your gaming skills too is just uncalled for.

If they're your real friends, they should respect when you tell them something bothers you, not just say you're too sensitive. A little joking around is one thing, but constantly putting you down isn't cool.

Next time one of them does it, I'd just be straight up like "Dude, I told you to cut that out. If you can't talk to me without insulting me, then don't talk to me." Gotta lay down the law or they'll keep walking all over you.

Might be time to distance yourself from the ones who won't quit it. You don't need "friends" like that bringing you down. Find people who appreciate you for who you are without judging. These dudes just sound immature - don't let em bother you too much!

[Tephra]

I have pretty much distance myself from people who I don't see as my "friends", they still pester me but I ignore it completely. Some have also stopped but have chosen to not hang out with me anymore for unknown reasons, and there is one who still hangs out with me occasionally and has a few jokes with me that don't hurt my feelings. Overall, I have learnt to pick and choose my friends more wisely. I thought they were good and genuine after a while and then all of a sudden they switched and started to belittle me all the time, I felt like it was bullying considering they couldnt have a normal conversation with me throughout the joking and what not.

[Kaneki05]

Well they sound like dicks. But tbh they may not be lying when they say you are bad if they've gone far enough to stop playing with you I just imagine that's actually a fact rather than insult but the way they could've told you should've of been much better.

Not been mean to you about it and just told you it in the nicest way would of been a better approach.
You only just started playing Fps so you will be very bad at it and people don't like been dragged down. But ya know your only gonna get better the more you play.

And no it's not normal. Having some banter is normal but that's normally a back and forth thing, not just directed all one way and making you uncomfortable.

You need better guy friends.

[Kaneki05]

Also there is other games. If my friend was bad at a game and etc so I wanted to play it myself I would find another game I don't have much stakes in and play that with them instead. Then play the game I want to be good in my own time.

[Tephra]

To be fair. I was HORRENDOUS at the game! But also - they were the ones who invited me to play, so I had hoped they knew what they were getting themselves into. They only wanted me to play so they have some "content" to watch and watch me fail. But I honestly really enjoyed the game. Deep down on the inside (and would never admit out loud) I had hoped to become really good at the game so I can be acknowledged and seen as a team mate rather than a clown on the field. I thought it would be fun, occassionally I post my achievements (2k damage badge) and they still tease me.
I was lucky some randoms were so kind to teach me how to play. I play it by myself now, and only for me - no one else.

[Kaneki05]

Real girl gamers are underappreciated while fake ones posting IG photos are adored it's the bitter irony. I'd invite you to a game that we both could enjoy and would just play it for the fun we have not worrying about such competitiveness.
And good, honestly Fps are my lone wolf games mostly there pretty fun by yourself. So glad you do play it for yourself.

[Tephra]

Very true! Though I don't consider myself a girl gamer, I just enjoy playing games from time to time. And that is a sweet gesture! I'd consider myself a casual player, I just like to have a laugh, even in the game I'm currently playing. Again, can also agree some games are great when you are by yourself, FPS can be one of them too depending on the game.

[Summeroflove]

Sometimes you just have to tell someone enough is enough. You have to have boundaries. If you tell someone in a nice way not to do something and theh kepe it up. You may have to put your foot down and eventually cut contact.


If someone cannot Respext yojr feelings. See people who are like this. If they told you to stop doing something and you didn’t. They would be all pissed off.


Unfortunately sometimes you have to cut people out of your life if they don’t respect you. It’s tough. It’s hard. But frankly. You don’t have to put up with someone’s shit.

[Tephra]

Thanks! I wasn't sure if this was normal. I am fine with a little teasing but they extended to beyond where they hurt my feelings.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yep women tear each other apart foreal, men do it for laughs, this shows you are officially one of the homies, next time, roast them back lol

[Tephra]

I thought so but I do it back and causes more people to join in on it. Like its me versus 6 other guys. Feels bad tho

[ChicoFromThe305]

Don't take offense to it, and don't soften up your blows, you gotta actually roast them, just don't go foul mode, kinda like match their level of roasts, if it really bothers you that much then you should tell them that you don't like the roast sessions, I'm sure they would understand

[Tephra]

I match their level but it gets so exhausting and tiring when they start. It can go on for hours 😅 They haven't really tried to have a normal conversation with me once at all. I dont mind them but I have been keeping my distance a little cause I value deeper relationships. They have understood in the past that the teasing was really bad and they have stopped

[ChicoFromThe305]

I see, it all seems like it was handled right, sounds completely understandable to want deeper connections, it's fine to be playful but too much of it leads to a form of immaturity, usually the different is knowing when to stop.

[Tephra]

When I was teasing them back I thought maybe this is their way of getting to know me, which I didn't mind. I like occasionally teasing people to get a sense of how lighthearted they can be, and to see what kind of person they are. But they done it all the time, and I tried to turn the conversation into something more serious but they would be uninterested. Which made me think it was some form of bullying or amusement for them, and that the friendship was not genuine.

[ChicoFromThe305]

There's definitely amusement, but it's not personal, because if your comebacks were good I'm sure they would laugh at them too, I believe they all picked on you cause you were probably the easiest one or newest one to the circle but either ways I completely understand where you come from, if you even tried getting conversations out of them I get it, they just aren't your style for friendships.

[RedInnocent68]

It is (a way of showing affection), because they like you. And also because they’ve laid off teasing because they know it upsets you.

[Tephra]

Yeah I do understand it is a guys way of showing affection, but last time I checked I am not a guy at all. My girl friends to do roast each other or say mean comments, we tease each other about little things or complete sarcasm but that is it.

[jahaims]

They are just treating you like one of the guys.

[Tephra]

I feel it