I went on Bumble to find something casual (no judgment please) and matched with this very attractive man. I wouldn't say I'm super attractive, more like a 6, but to me he's a strong 9. We talked and exchanged numbers, and he was very quick to ask me out. I told him I'm going through some stuff and that I just need one night (maybe sometime again if all goes good) and he was down for it. So we agreed to meet up, but before that we did a video call on my request because I feared he was maybe catfish. Luckily he wasn't and during that call he seemed into me, told me I'm super cute and that he can't wait to see me.
I felt chemistry the moment I saw him (well duh he's super hot). He had a very big smile and hugged me very tightly, so I assumed he was pleased with my appearance (I did spend a lot of effort on getting ready to look beautiful to him). The plan was to walk to my apartment and then, well, you know.
To my surprise, we kind of ended up having a really good conversation, and when we got home we kind of just continued on the interesting topics. That was fine but he just kept talking without making any moves on me. It started getting late and, to my best effort to flirt, he wasn't budging. He just kept talking, even some very deep topics like about when his mom died, to his goals and dreams. He was super entusiastic about it all that I just felt bad interrupting. In all fairness, I opened up too, it was a good interraction; but I needed intimacy and sex too. And before we knew it it was already super late. He wasn't aware of the time, he just said "shit it's already 2?" and got up and apologized for taking too much of my time. I said no worries and that I enjoyed it. Then he just hugged me and left. Not even a kiss.
I felt bumbed but I thought okay maybe next time. I texted him the day after that I had a great time and that I would like to see him again and be more physical, if that's something he would like too. He never responded, it's been a week now.
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Even if he didn’t find you attractive it’s just not something I feel you should burden yourself with. Dating apps are generally so hit or miss, usually miss because majority of the men you’ll meet aren’t genuine, and professional ghosters. I believe this is because there’s a constant stream of access to the opposite sex. Even if you aren’t very lucky, you can always swipe and see what’s next, there’s no need to settle, spend excess time or even formally say goodbye when the men never form attachments and always looking, swiping, ghosting. It’s a toxic pool not meant for everyone.
You said you’re going through a hard time right now, and while I get wanting the intimacy even for just a night, what if you aren’t emotionally equipped for casual sex right now? I mean look at your hurt reaction to this guy ghosting. To me, if you’re going to travel down this road then you need a thicker skin and to understand what sort of men you’re dealing with so ghosting doesn’t matter, neither do their reasons behind it. You need a detached mentality that I don’t think any woman who isn’t emotionally void can keep up with.
Weird. He must not have been that attracted to you.
HMM THAT IS KINDA WEIRD