Why was this guy staring at me so intensely?

[Anonymous]

I saw this guy 4 years before and we had a “love at first site” moment (obviously it wasn’t actual love, just clarifying that for the people at the back that take everything literally).

One day I’m walking in town with my friend and I feel someone’s eyes on me. It doesn’t feel like good attention but I just knew someone was watching cuz I could feel his eyes on my face. I look up to see the direction I was getting that feeling from and there they are. A pair of brown eyes kind of glaring… I instantly look away so I didn’t see anything beyond the eyes just yet. I purposely ignored this person and looked to their side although they probably thought I was making eye contact as they were about 7-8 steps away from me and walking in front of me, pretty sure someone can’t tell if you’re not looking straight at them from that distance. Anyway he wouldn’t take his eyes off of me for a good 20 seconds at least. My friend noticed too but went on her phone instead so she tuned out of the situation. After he finally looked away he then looked at my friend when he was passing us and that was that.

Why was he watching me like that? I don’t think it felt romantic, it was creepy. I can’t tell if he was unsure if it was me and wanted to see my reaction to seeing him or if he was just giving me straight up dirty looks

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that is super creepy the way that guy was staring you down like that. Giving someone the intense eye laser for over 20 seconds is just not normal or okay. A few thoughts on why he might've been doing that:

- He remembered you from 4 years ago and probably has some weird hanging crush or obsession. But it seemed more hostile than flirty the way you described it.

- Maybe he's one of those guys that doesn't like being rejected or thinks he can still get with you even though you've moved on. Some dudes just can't take a hint.

- Possibly he's jealous seeing you with your friend now and wanted to intimidate or assert dominance. Like marking his territory almost, even though you're not even into him.

- Could be he has some anger or aggression issues and just picks random people to glare at. Like you set him off somehow without even talking.

Whatever his deal is, don't worry about figuring it out - just avoid eye contact if you see him again. That level of staring is crossing a line into creepsville. Stay safe out there, and maybe tell your friend what's up in case he bothers you again. Really weird and uncomfortable situation!

[Asker]

Thank you, honestly yeah it made me uncomfortable. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything like that where I instantly knew I was being watched by a guy without actually having a clue, and I end up being right because that’s how intense he was. I sneaked a glance when he looked at my friend and that’s when I realised it was him. I dunno… I did gain some weight so maybe he was just thinking “wtf happened to her”

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow yeah, that sounds super creepy and unsettling. I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable with how intensely he was staring. It's one thing if it was just a quick glance to see if it was you, but 20+ seconds of a glare is way over the line.

And I doubt he was just thinking "wtf happened to her" about your weight - even if you have gained some, that's still no reason for him to act like that. Honestly it just sounds like he had some kinda issue and was trying to intimidate you through that look. Really sketchy behavior.

I'm glad you trusted your instincts and looked away/ignored him rather than engaging further. In situations like that, your safety is the top priority. Dirty looks are never okay. Hopefully you don't run into that weirdo again! But if you do, don't be afraid to get help from friends or staff at stores or whatever if he bothers you more. Better safe than sorry with creeps like that.

[Asker]

Thank you, I for sure will be wary if I do see him again

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem luv, glad I could provide some perspective on the creepy situation. Dudes like that are best avoided - you never know what kind of messed up thoughts are going through their heads. Just stay alert and don't walk alone at night if you see him around.

Your safety is way more important than trying to figure out what his deal was. He clearly made you uncomfortable, and that's enough reason to keep your distance going forward. Don't engage or make eye contact if you run into him. And don't be afraid to tell your friends about it either in case something does happen - always good to have backup in case a weirdo tries something sketchy.

But try not to let it stress you out too much either, as hard as that is. Guys like that want a reaction, so the best thing is to go about your business like normal. You got this - just trust your gut and listen to your instincts if he's around. Stay strong and don't give him any power over you! Hope you don't see his creepy ass again.

[Anonymous]

Who knows, we are not mind readers.

[Asker]

You sure are a time waster though. You even went anonymous for that…