I was dating a guy for nearly two months, after I had to move from my apartment I needed a place to crash for a bit because I had nowhere else to go. He was kind enough to allow me into his apartment while he was away on vacation for the holidays. I was here for about a week alone until he came back on NYD. When he got home that day he was the usual, a little sad he had to come home from vacation but we had pizza and beer and things seemed normal. After a few beers he tried to have sex with me and I said no because I’m having a hard time and I’ve learned having sex with people you don’t know well isn’t a good idea. The next day his personality did a complete 180. He hasn’t spoken to me, he doesn’t look at me and completely ignores my existence. I’m leaving Tuesday but, it’s strange and I can’t say it doesn’t hurt to be treated with such contempt.
Wow, what a crappy situation. That's super messed up of him to just do a total 180 like that all of a sudden. Some guys just can't handle it when a girl says no, even if you've been seeing each other a while.
My best guess is he's probably super embarrassed and bruised his ego that you rejected him, especially after a few drinks loosening him up. Being drunk then not getting what he wanted probably made him pout and sulk like a baby.
I'd bet he feels awkward as hell around you now and doesn't know how to act normal again. So he's just pretending you don't exist to avoid dealing with it head on. Which is lame of course, but some guys are afraid of real feelings.
Don't even sweat it though. His bizarre behavior after says way more about his own insecurities than you. I'd just steer clear and get outta there ASAP if I were you. Stuff will probably be awkward til Tuesday anyway.
You didn't do anything wrong, just stood your ground and that's something to be proud of. Keep doing you - his weird mood swings ain't your problem. Onto bigger and better after this clown-show!
No problem mama, I'm glad I could offer some perspective to make you feel better. Dealing with manipulative guys who flip the script outta nowhere can mess with your head, so it's important to have friends remind you that YOU didn't do anything wrong. Trust that you listened to your gut and made the right call not sleeping with him so soon. Shows you respect yourself.
Now try to keep your chin up these last few days till you bounce on Tuesday. Do your thing, don't give him any more mental space free of charge. And once you're out, don't look back - you got way better things ahead of you than worrying about some douche who couldn't handle getting denied. You'll laugh about this guy someday, but for now just stay focused on all the dope people who ARE worth your time and energy. You seem like a real one - your vibe will draw in someone deserving of you real soon, bet.
Ummm… his personality changed because he wanted to have sex and you rejected him.
If it was the other way around if you where the one that wanted sex and he turned you down you would react the same way. Given that is his place afterall and he was the one that got rejected.
The situation became awkward.
Also, you cannot act surprised that a man that invited you over to his place tried to have sex with you, and you cannot say “well he wasn’t there” because wrong, he came back and then proposed having sex.
Well for one, I wouldn’t have reacted the same way because I’m not like that. I respect people’s decisions especially when it comes to something intimate as sex. This a very strange reaction, I never said I was surprised either, if someone tells you no and you reaction is to treat them poorly then you need to reevaluate yourself as a human being. He let me stay here because I would have been sleeping on a bench in winter if he didn’t. It’s is not my issue he tried to take advantage of the situation and the outcome was not the one he wanted. I respected him, his house and his space. I just wanted to same in return. But I guess we both expected things that we were not gonna get.
Right, but it’s easier said than done wouldn’t you agree? Given the context that if you put yourself out there by asking someone out or proposing sex and you get turned down/rejected.
You would act differently. That’s unavoidable, because we’re human beings.
There are obvious assumptions coming after reading this text.
But I would strongly advise you to openly talk to him. Focus on your emotions related to the situation. Refrain from blaming him. Ask for his point of view and listen to it.
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Wow, what a crappy situation. That's super messed up of him to just do a total 180 like that all of a sudden. Some guys just can't handle it when a girl says no, even if you've been seeing each other a while.
My best guess is he's probably super embarrassed and bruised his ego that you rejected him, especially after a few drinks loosening him up. Being drunk then not getting what he wanted probably made him pout and sulk like a baby.
I'd bet he feels awkward as hell around you now and doesn't know how to act normal again. So he's just pretending you don't exist to avoid dealing with it head on. Which is lame of course, but some guys are afraid of real feelings.
Don't even sweat it though. His bizarre behavior after says way more about his own insecurities than you. I'd just steer clear and get outta there ASAP if I were you. Stuff will probably be awkward til Tuesday anyway.
You didn't do anything wrong, just stood your ground and that's something to be proud of. Keep doing you - his weird mood swings ain't your problem. Onto bigger and better after this clown-show!
Thank you, I really needed to hear this right now
No problem mama, I'm glad I could offer some perspective to make you feel better. Dealing with manipulative guys who flip the script outta nowhere can mess with your head, so it's important to have friends remind you that YOU didn't do anything wrong. Trust that you listened to your gut and made the right call not sleeping with him so soon. Shows you respect yourself.
Now try to keep your chin up these last few days till you bounce on Tuesday. Do your thing, don't give him any more mental space free of charge. And once you're out, don't look back - you got way better things ahead of you than worrying about some douche who couldn't handle getting denied. You'll laugh about this guy someday, but for now just stay focused on all the dope people who ARE worth your time and energy. You seem like a real one - your vibe will draw in someone deserving of you real soon, bet.
Ummm… his personality changed because he wanted to have sex and you rejected him.
If it was the other way around if you where the one that wanted sex and he turned you down you would react the same way. Given that is his place afterall and he was the one that got rejected.
The situation became awkward.
Also, you cannot act surprised that a man that invited you over to his place tried to have sex with you, and you cannot say “well he wasn’t there” because wrong, he came back and then proposed having sex.
Well for one, I wouldn’t have reacted the same way because I’m not like that. I respect people’s decisions especially when it comes to something intimate as sex. This a very strange reaction, I never said I was surprised either, if someone tells you no and you reaction is to treat them poorly then you need to reevaluate yourself as a human being. He let me stay here because I would have been sleeping on a bench in winter if he didn’t. It’s is not my issue he tried to take advantage of the situation and the outcome was not the one he wanted. I respected him, his house and his space. I just wanted to same in return. But I guess we both expected things that we were not gonna get.
Sorry for the poor grammar I’m half awake
Right, but it’s easier said than done wouldn’t you agree? Given the context that if you put yourself out there by asking someone out or proposing sex and you get turned down/rejected.
You would act differently. That’s unavoidable, because we’re human beings.
There are obvious assumptions coming after reading this text.
But I would strongly advise you to openly talk to him. Focus on your emotions related to the situation. Refrain from blaming him. Ask for his point of view and listen to it.
Learn what really happened.