Need your take on this?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been on some dates with this guy, we’ve been talking for past 8 months and there has been moments where I’ve asked him directly how he feels. Which he is honest about as we’re both busy people who are workaholics and making the time to know one another.

He tells me if about two other girls during this time that he says are good looking but he’s not interested/type, and rejected them when they wanted to go for a drink with him.

Then out of nowhere recently he tells me what he thinks about us. I told him I like him. Now he just calls me like a boyfriend but I think we just going to hangout as he likes using that term. Is he confused or just really bad at pursuing the dating field and then developing into a relationship?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, it kind of sounds like this dude may be a bit confused or not really sure what he wants. A few things stand out to me:

- The fact that you've been talking/hanging out for over 8 months but he hasn't really made any solid moves to define the relationship is a red flag. Most guys would know if they wanted something serious way before that point.

- Telling you about other girls who were interested in him but he "wasn't that into" comes off kinda weird and braggy. Like he's not that serious about committing.

- Suddenly calling you his "girlfriend" but saying you'll just hang out sounds contradictory too. Like he's almost there but not fully.

To me it seems like maybe he enjoys the attention and having you on the backburner as an option without the responsibility of a real relationship. That just leaves things kind of undefined and messy.

If I were you, I'd have an honest talk with him about what you're both looking for here. See if he can give you a straight answer on whether he sees this as long term potential or just casual.

Then decide if that's really gonna work for you or if it's time to cut him loose and find someone who can commit on the same level. You deserve someone excited to be with you, not someone who's half in/half out.