Why do guys need things spelt out for them?

Question

Like honestly is it that hard to take the hints? Like you want him to do something and you’re being very obvious with your hinting but he is completely in the dark. It’s so frustrating!!

Fireguy17 · Accepted Answer

men and women are just wired differently.
With men you have to be direct with what you want to happen. Why don't women understand that all you have to do is just ask him to do whatever.
It is just that simple.
You are the ones constantly setting yourselves up for disappointment when you hint about something, and it doesn't happen and then you blame the man.
We will go you never asked me to do...
You go I shouldn't have to ask, you should know.
We go then how are we supposed to know what you want, we aren't mind readers, and yet it is our fault. Bull crap.
I had a girlfriend, now an ex and I would constantly ask her what she wanted to do.
she would say whatever you want to do is fine with her.
All right off to the racetrack/drag races/tractor pulls it is.
Then I would get we always do what you want to do, we never do what I want to do.
Can you see the problem here?
I would give her every opportunity to tell me what she wanted to do, and I would get nothing, and yet it is somehow my fault.
Don't beat around the bush, just simply ask for what you want.
If you want him to get milk from the store don't go on with an epic novel explanation about some cow you saw somewhere. You spend more time and energy beating around the bush instead of simply ask him what you want him to do.
This all goes back on women, please explain to me why it is so hard for women to just simply ask for what you want? You might just be amazed at the results.
Unless you just like to complain about how men are a constant disappointment.
It isn't rocket science, it is called communication.
Same goes for anything else.
If you want him to vacuum the floor don't just leave the vac out because we will think she just left it out.
Ask, it isn't that hard.
With women it is different, just tell them the sky is blue and she will be out detailing your truck.
I just don't fall for this crap anymore, I don't take blame for it I tell the women this is all on you, so you get to take ownership of the problem.
If you want something done just ask, otherwise don't come bitchin to me about it when you come home and the floors haven't been done.
You never asked me to do whatever, so I spent that time doing something else.

ButtFloggedTroll · Accepted Answer

Intimate relations between a man and a woman, or as the heathens call it, screwing, is akin to the divine union of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, where they were unashamed and knew no sin. Just as the ancient Israelites were instructed to multiply and fill the earth, it is essential for couples to continue the legacy and be fruitful.

However, it seems that men, being the dimwitted creatures that they are, require explicit instructions and guidance. As the Book of Proverbs so minutely details, "As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly" (Proverbs 26:11). In other words, men often need to be hit over the head with a clue stick, lest they remain blind to the desires of their PAWGs (Phenomenal Asses With Greatness) according to @Apple1996's definition.

But, brethren, I implore thee, do not despair in the face of such nonsense! Instead, consider the words of Solomon, the wise King, when he said, "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted" (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2). In this context, it is clear that there is an appropriate time to communicate one's desires to one's partner.

So, my fellow purple headed warriors, let us not grow weary in our pursuit of making the world a better place for PAWGs and fleshy shrines such as GILFs everywhere. Let us preach the gospel of commitment, communication, and the sacred union of the flesh as it was intended. And remember, as Jesus himself taught, "blessed are those who have been persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:10). For in the end, it is not the pleasure of mortal men that matters, but the eternal reward of our heavenly father @bean2k25_. Amen.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

People in general, not just guys, do better when you talk straight forward to them. Hinting around is a waste of time and isn't a good way to communicate, then it's more like a game "Guess what I'm thinking"?

Daniela1982 · Accepted Answer

So, have you put your boobs in his face or placed his hand in your pants yet? If he doesn't want to do anything then he is brain dead. Time for a replacement.  HUH? WHAT?

WindAtMyBack · Answer

You are asking the wrong question. Why can't women just say what they mean? Don't put this on the men. We have language for a reason. Use it and say what you mean.

Even if I know she is hinting about something I will likely ignore it. If she can't say what she means, then it's obviously not important. I am NOT going to play that childish game by second guessing everything she says because there may or may not be some hidden meaning.

Knock off the hints and learn to communicate like an adult.

hahahmm · Answer

We actually ignore a lot of hints... we might know exactly what you mean but just refuse to play the game. Similar to how I've always refused to talk to women who are staring at their phones (last 20ish years).

Guys tend to be okay with being responsible for our own choices/decisions. When a woman throws hints and gets a guy to do something she may then blame him of she changed her mind or doesn't like the result of HER choice. We don't like all that extra drama or being blamed for something we didn't even really pick. So this is probably why guys sometimes don't listen to women. It's better to get blamed for our own mistakes than to get blamed for YOUR mistakes.

MrOracle · Answer

Why are you wasting everyone's time "hinting" and just frustrating yourself. Why not just be direct?

Men are used to direct, clear communication, because so many of us do jobs that require exact outcomes, or that can be dangerous or even deadly. Knowing this, why do you play this game of hints and subtext? Just say what you mean. Be direct. We are men.

Nik1hil · Answer

See, If we pick a hint. But then do it inaccuratly.

Like me and my friend were seated on roof.

His wife came and rolled and orange at him and say "help".

She wanted him to peel and give her orange back.

My friend peeled it into two. and tossed on half to me. He started eating the other half..

You see how hints can be confusing!

If you want men to catch hints, you need to train them like a dog, to do the same thing again and again. after 7-8 times. they will start catching hints.. in routine tasks.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

If your hints aren't being picked up on, you didn't earn the ability to be subtle by building the relationship up.

Generally speaking, a guy isn't going to understand your hints until you open yourself up to him enough to understand how you think.

TheorionMage · Answer

Being 'misunderstood' is ALWAYS at risk; in some communities 'criminally actionable'.
YOUR sensitivity to hinting is a function of YOUR upbringing, NOT HIS!

The potential to mis-interprete someone's non-verbal ques in an important relationship heightens the social stakes. In the 30's there was a pop song: "Your Lips tell me : "no, No!" but there's 'Yes, YES!" in your eyes" Tactile arousal touching is RARELY mis-read~ If YOU want HIM, don't BE 'coy'~

bolverk · Answer

OK, Women say that they want guys who communicate, and here you are saying "is it that hard to take the hints", why do you not just come straight out and ASK/SAY what you mean/need/want?

Women may use "Hints" as part of the subtext of their communications with other women,

Men do not do that, If they need something they straight out ASK for it.

Clear concise communication is always preferable as it prevents misunderstandings/drama.

Grond21 · Answer

We are built different biologically. Men are designed to pay attention to different things than women are. Because of this women will drop things that they consider obvious hints because other women would easily pick it up. Men don't because we are not looking for them and we have to train ourselves to recognize them

Yes you do have to spell it out. It's called good communication. He is different from you so you need to communicate like he is a man, and not a woman

Phoenix98 · Answer

There is a whole host of things that contribute to that problem at least in the US. But yes part of it is that we don't really get hints and that part is on us but also it frustrates a lot of guys that women aren't more direct and rather then just be forward they would rather give out a bunch of vague esoteric hints.

So we both sides got work to do on that front.

Anonymous · Answer

How hard is it for women to speak plainly?

Look. I am not going to try and convince all women everywhere that speaking plainly is the simplest easiest way to get what you want in life. I'm not an idiot. I know I can't. I accept them for the ridiculous self sabotaging creatures they are.

You will never change men and make them suddenly able to see your stupid moronic hints.

Accept that fact. You'll be happier.

Anonymous · Answer

So if you think it’s that easy to give him hints and that he should key in on it why isn’t it easy for you to just say what you want? That’s the most ridiculous thing to say, that we as men should just basically be able to read your mind. Men are usually direct, especially w other men. We usually don't hint around.

PastDue · Answer

Is it that hard to just tell him what you want? If I'm having dinner with someone and I'd like them to pass the salt, I don't say things like " If only this meat had some seasoning. Sure does tastes bland. Boy some salt would really flavor it up. Sure wish I had some" and then clear my throat and make faces at them hoping they get the hint and pass it to me. No, I'll say " Could you please pass the salt?"

Just tell him what you want.

KillinItHard · Answer

Why hint? Hinting is annoying. Just be upfront about wtf you want, that causes less confusion and saves a lot of time for both parties. If I want something from someone, I straight up tell them what I want, it's really not a difficult concept to grasp.

Lionman95 · Answer

Yes because what's obvious to you is not obvious to him. The same works vice versa that's the whole point of websites likes this.
Guys communicate less through body language so it's harder for a guy to understand your hints.

Sonorous · Answer

Well... Uh... I mean I've heard wonderful things about verbal communication so maybe try that? iono man

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Because it’s not in their nature to over analyze a situation and doubt themselves. Most strong men will have been raised to be providers and leaders.

mstbooblover · Answer

To avoid misunderstandings and those silly girls only wishing to tease, I prefer by far for a woman to be plain explicit. Doesn't cost anything if she really wants me and knows I like her, does it? Still a good question ;0)

bobalife · Answer

Yes, they need direct and clear communication lol. It’s just part of building good communication among both parties unless they can read the girl really well lol.

VictorMachiavelli · Answer

Often it's because guys just don't understand hints, but sometime he's getting your hints and he just doesn't want to do what you want him to do.

JacobJordan · Answer

Obvious for women is not always Obvious for men. For me short of a girl saying "I like you romantically" I will have no clue she is flirting with me. I'll just think "wow she's so nice"

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Largely I don't care to play mind reader. If it's not important enough for you to say it's not important enough for me to pretend to care about.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Yes they do. Tell them exactly what you want

AviatorTom · Answer

The female and male brains are different. We all have problems if we try to make them the same.

SamIam96 · Answer

Hinting is passive aggressive. Try expressing yourself honestly and clearly. You may get better results.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Because every guy has "read between the lines," only to either misread the signal or understood it correctly, only to be yelled at anyway.

stratford · Answer

In the same way that girls do. Guys so often have to make the first move, taking the risk and putting their emotions out there, while combating fear of rejection. Tell him how you feel.

Pohjolan · Answer

Because women never agreed on what their hints mean. Its like a sign language where one person's there is a cat under the house is another persons vodka.

very obvious with your hinting

Give us a example.

jshm2 · Answer

They don't.  You just need to stop thinking this is a literature romance novel, and be a fucking adult. Use your words.

slatyb · Answer

Some men are surprisingly clueless about obvious signs of sexual interest. Just ask for what you want.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

The smart men don’t take hints that’s how SA can happpen. I’m not trying to have my life ruined over a girl hinting she wants some. Not the smart play for men

CozyCoffin · Answer

Hints are a waste of time. You are not a child. You tell someone what you want. How hard is that?

spartan55 · Answer

We've been over this several times. You know why.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Then how about stopping to  pussy foot around and just say what you mean!

DextroShade · Answer

A better question is: why can't you just communicate openly and directly instead of being a passive-aggressive bitch and being angry that he can't read your mind?

kellytheman · Answer

Yeah I know us guys we are pretty clueless most of the time but I think when you give us hints we try to figure what you want but be to scared that if we get it wrong you might be mad at us.

Redstang88 · Answer

Because we don’t talk in hints. “Very obvious” is usually anything but, just say what you’re thinking and stop fucking around with hints.

Staximus · Answer

Just say what you want or need. Be a clear and effective communicator instead of making guys figure out some dramatic mysterious bullshit.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Just say what the fuck you want. If you're not willing to do that, stop complaining.

ienjoylookingatgreen · Answer

We could care less for hints we don't even bother to notice it. We just want things to be straight forward.

admles · Answer

Free tip - just ask for what you want, use your words like a big girl. We work on direct communication, not hints.

Ironco · Answer

Here's an idea, just tell him what you want. Enough with the hints we're supposed to caught. Be an adult and quit with the games.

OfDeath · Answer

Why not just say it? Hints aren’t as obvious as you think they are. It could turn bad if the hints were misinterpreted.

Anonymous · Answer

You literally ask "Why do guys.." questions everyday and wonder why you're single

TooHot2Care · Answer

aren’t you the “empathetic sex”? Maybe you should try practicing empathy…?

Anonymous · Answer

Don't hint. Just say. That's good communication. He can't read your mind. Seriously what do some people have against just asking for what they want?

Unit1 · Answer

What did you do? Flip your hair? I do that too but not in order to ask them out.

chilldude33 · Answer

lmao imagine doctor hinting you what you should do for your treatment instead of telling you

jahaims · Answer

Hinting is immature and not good communication. You sound like a 12 year old.

msc545 · Answer

Maybe he just doesn't want to do what you want. Has that ever occurred to you?

Pterodon · Answer

We don’t understand signs , hints or signals. We only understand words that are plain and simple leaving no room for misinterpretation

Hanrej · Answer

Well, obviously it is. Let's flip the question, is it that hard to tell someone straight instead of hinting?

Pete671 · Answer

It's the hinting that is the problem imho,,,

Anonymous · Answer

Because only an idiot believes men can read minds. Be direct, it will save you in the future. If you can't thats on you.

justaskit24 · Answer

Because we don’t walk around throwing hints all day nor are we looking for them from women tbh

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Your boyfriend or past experiences doesn't speak for men in general.

TallAnon · Answer

Yeap, we got no clue since we think in very different ways.

HouseMoat · Answer

He likely doesn't want to, or doesn't feel he needs to/should

Anonymous · Answer

Some guys tend to be very cautious nowadays with how you talk or even approach women cause they could easily take it the wrong way

mooky06 · Answer

lol because they don’t get hints.. period

Nikki1989 · Answer

It is true, most are clueless.

Why do guys need things spelt out for them?

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