Should I snuggle up to my male friend and ask for forgiveness, or ask permission first?

[Bethany22]

If my confirmed bachelor male friend and I are lying on his bed together watching a movie, can I just try snuggling up closer to him and ask if this is okay, or should I ask first if it's okay if I move closer and put my arm over him? Should I make it more about being able to see the screen better by lying closer, rather than making it look specifically like I need to cuddle?

[adam6402]

Ok, w t f...

If you're truly "just a friend" to a guy then he'll treat you like all of his guy friends. Guy friends don't cuddle on the bed watching a movie and you should know that already. If you snuggle up to him then you'd better be crushing on him or want a sexual relationship of some sort from him. Don't expect to just cuddle with this guy as friends and have the "friendship" remain as it was.

To answer your question. If you want sex then just make a move on him without saying anything and see where it leads. If you genuinely just want to cuddle as "friends" and think that it somehow won't change the dynamic of your relationship, then probably clearly ask first so it doesn't catch him off guard and seem like you're making a move on him.

[Shy_Steve]

It won't hurt that much to ask because he could think your just Flirting with him for Fun and you dont actually like him, So if you only like him as a Friend then you definitely Shouldn't Cuddle him, But if you do like him and want to date him then just ask him if it's okay and he will most likely say "Yes".

[FunkyMonkee]

On one hand, I'd say ask first but, on the other, I'm reminded of an incident about 20 years with a girl I just met in college a year before. She is VERY PAINFULLY shy and introverted but, I went over to her place once just to talk and hang out, maybe listen to music together. After we talked for an hour or two, I whipped out a stack of CD's I brought with me that we might want to listen to, stuff she's never heard before. She flipped through them and picked out one and ran into her bedroom to play it on her stereo then came back out to the living room (it was a tiny 2-room place) and, after turning out all but two very dim lights, sat next to me on the love seat where I'd been sitting most of the evening. She pulled over two folding chairs and set them up in front of us, took off her shoes and suggested I do the same and then we put or feet up on the seats of those lawn chairs and she sat right next to me. After a few seconds, she lifted up my left arm and draped it over her shoulders and snuggled into my left side. A few minutes later, I noticed her hands resting on her lap as was my right hand (in my lap) so, I opened my hand face up and she quickly put hers into mine and we sat there like that listening to music for over 3 hours!! Twice, she got up to put on another CD and, after each change, she came back in and got back into the same position she was in before. It was very probably the best night of my entire life!!
No questions or permission was asked.
Maybe, some day, we'll do it again but, I'm not holding my breath waiting for that to happen.

[adam6402]

How the actual f did this not end in sex?

[FunkyMonkee]

@adam6402 She already had a highly jealous boyfriend and we've always just been best of friends. I consider her to be the little sister I never had. And, we were never in love with each other, just very close friends. I have a feeling that she knows that, if she wants me, she can have me. Another factor is that I'm 6' 9" and she's 4' 11" and I'm also 27 years older than her and, I don't think she'd be into that.

[adam6402]

Ok kinda fair enough then I guess😄

[FunkyMonkee]

@adam6402 Also, when she moved into that place a year before, her new neighbor raped her and had been tormenting the shit out of her by walking into her place naked or in his underwear anytime he wanted and raiding her fridge or banging on her door asking her to fuck him again, even walking in and answering her phone and I didn't want to be ANYTHING like that to her! I wanted her to feel comfy around me and I didn't want her to feel threatened or that all men are like that asshole because we're not!
I'd just broken up with my ex-fiance 3 years before, someone I'd been with for just over 10 years and, when we'd sit and listen to music together, there was a good bit of kissing and making out going on, leading to sex. So, I was kinda used to that in that situation. Well, while this girl & I were sitting together like that, I was so used to being that way with my ex that, I turned to her and kissed her on top of her head and almost IMMEDIATELY realized what I'd just done and apologized profusely to her about it and she just sat there and calmly said, "It's alright." and we just went on listening to the music! I was SO SCARED that I'd JUST lost her trust by that stupid mistake. But, it was just an automatic thing, for me and I didn't mean anything by it. Happily, she didn't mind at all.

[imtiaz45]

Respecting personal boundaries is crucial in any relationship. Before snuggling up to your male friend, it's essential to communicate openly and ask for permission, expressing your desire for forgiveness. Consent and clear communication are key to maintaining trust and ensuring everyone involved feels comfortable. Approaching the situation with empathy, acknowledging any potential discomfort, and seeking permission first shows respect for your friend's autonomy and personal space. This approach fosters healthier relationships built on trust, understanding, and mutual consent, creating a space where both parties feel valued and respected.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/mQF4gY2IV2w

[Crimsyjo]

Has he ever directly said he is not into you? Or enjoys that you are "just friends"? Could get awkward. Are you doing it cos you are crushing on him? Or you just want a cuddle? If the latter go for it and say directly that you wanna enjoy a cuddle if that's OK and not make it weird cos you just friends. If you crushing... ? I'm guessing he doesn't feel same or he would have made a move by now. And you run risk of him using you for sex without the intimacy you are really craving. I could be wrong though!

[TightLipps]

I mean, only you know him well enough whether you should snuggle or not. Him (being a man), I'm sure he thinks this will lead to sex, so you should probably ask yourself, are you comfortable cuddling him, to the point of having sex, (if not), then (bingo) you have your answer.

[AviatorTom]

Why ask? Just do it. He'll let you know by his reaction if it's okay.

I'm guessing he'll be fine with it. Just because he's a confirmed bachelor doesn't mean he doesn't like female attention.

[OlderAndWiser]

What is it that you are trying to accomplish? Are you trying to see the video screen better, or are you trying to arouse his attention?

[DJB72]

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. If you're a girl.

If you're a guy, get it in writing with witnesses.

Even a confirmed bachelor is unlikely to refuse a cuddle as long as you're not hoping it'll turn into more.

[RedInnocent68]

Yes. If he’s not taken, it’s fair game. After all, you’ve already on his bed and have broken the personal space barrier. Probably what he’s been hoping for actually.

[DaBiggestBird]

Anthropologically speaking if a guy tried that without asking the opposing lawyer would probably do everything in their power to get him in the electric chair so for the sake of equality, just ask.

[Demonatrix]

Don't lie to him, as he is a friend ask him if it's OK for a cuddle.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, you could try snuggling up to him.

[Nifrayu]

Personally I don't have a problem with snuggles from friends, but there are a lot of people with hang-ups about that.

[TooHot2Care]

Better to ask forgiveness than to ask for permission.

[love_conquers_lust]

You're on his bed. I'd say in that context anything goes.

[KrakenAttackin]

READ: So you want to continue to cock tease a guy who has a crush on you but you have firmly friend zoned.

[Tomisworthless]

Aren’t you always asking why it’s hard for guys to like you back? This reeks of desperation in my opinion

[Keith469]

It is always respectful to ask.

How would you feel if things were the other way around?

[AngryCarl]

Just kind of snuggle up to him, it'll be fine. Even gays like to snuggle sometimes I'm told.

[OddBeMe]

Flip it! If a male friend you thought of “in the friend-zone” did this…what would be your reaction?

[Ironco]

What, are you back in junior high?

You know the answer.

[elaphe]

Do you want more than friendship or do you just like to cuddle?

[justaskit24]

do it, but don’t be surprised if it leads to more

[spartan55]

Just grab his junk. Simplify things.

[DextroShade]

This man is not your friend.

[Sparkie460]

Go for it then ask if he minds

[Roudyrebel8]

I'd just go for it

[Jkreuger89]

Just do it. You dont gotta ask

[Pterodon]

Just snuggle up to him

[RavVid]

Just do it

[glennos89]

Just snuggle up

[nawtee_me]

Cuddle first…