Would you go back to a restaurant/bar if it triggered red flags and felt something not right ?

[Anonymous]

i live in a small city so night out options have always been limited , there is this pub downtown and over the years have been to it various times and had a mix of good and bad experiences when there.

but its triggered some red flags lately , i couldn't begin to explain them all but some involve staff , owner etc. red flags in the sense it being behaviour that would cause me to feel uncomfortable being around these people. its hard to explain but this place is just giving me a bad vibe.

to be honest i don't really care if i go back and i haven't been there for 3 weeks but it will be tough to avoid the place forever

Updates

+1 y

i haven't physically been in this restaurant since Jan 5th so don't worry i'm not planning on going back there anytime soon if anyone wonders , i accept the reality that its best i don't go there for the time being and it allows me to move on with my life

Updates

+1 y

still have not been back so seem to be keeping true to myself that i wouldn't go back there for a while. the though of going back into same situation gives me reason to stay away for the time being. its like i just can't see myself going back to that and want to find something else to do

[BoopBoopBeep]

You gave virtually no relevant data. "I couldn't begin to explain them all" means we couldn't begin to give you an informed opinion. There are Klan rallies there at night and the staff bemoans lowered attendance? Yeah I'd pass. The bartender looks like your ex? I'd get over it and go.

[Asker]

ok some of the " red flags "
- staff act and dress differently when not there , don't seem to wear actual party clothes even when it has bar nights yet dress up to go to bars when in other places
- staff avoid the place when not at work , some wouldn't even come out when back home at x mas break and had nothing else to do
- owner posts no photo's of himself and follows weird pages on instagram , saw his page and he follows a lot of pages devoted to " hot girls "
- owner refuses to hire any men or minorities as servers , only hot women with big boobs or hot bods
- owner doesn't post job ads online as he's have to accept resumes from people he doesn't want to hire
is still more if you need more examples , i suspect a lot of the staff were only hired cause they were " hot " so we have a bar with staff only there cause of looks who already have boyfriend's and seem uninterested in the place

[Asker]

also red flags related to the manager

who seems to be oddly under qualified to manage such a business and despite having a diploma in advertising does not seem to know how social media works. also planned some bizare theme nights last summer that were extremely poorly attended

all she does on instagram is post these endless food posts like 1 everyday its crazy , rarely anything about the bar or what is planned for the weekend. facebook page is also oddly almost dead? like not any recent posts its not even being used anymore yet she has a diploma in advertising and should be her element

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'll go through those in order, so forgive the cut and paste, and note I did alter the order:

- staff act and dress differently when not there , don't seem to wear actual party clothes even when it has bar nights yet dress up to go to bars when in other places
-- Is it their choice? Most establishments have a dress code. Of course they wouldn't dress the same way when not there.

- staff avoid the place when not at work , some wouldn't even come out when back home at x mas break and had nothing else to do
-- I was a sous chef at a very upscale restaurant before the towers came down. You spend 60 hours a week at a place you don't go there when you're off. I've literally never met a person who is going to hang out at the bar they work at, and usually they aren't even allowed to drink there, so why would they?

- owner posts no photo's of himself and follows weird pages on instagram , saw his page and he follows a lot of pages devoted to " hot girls "
--I can show you 100 restaurants with no photos of the staff. I'm selling the food not myself. You saw his personal instagram photo and there are hot girls on it? Are men on instagram doing anything else? Are you shopping for a boyfriend or a place to eat? What do you care what's on his personal instagram?

- owner doesn't post job ads online as he's have to accept resumes from people he doesn't want to hire
--Most of the wine bars I've been to are like that. I never saw a posting for anything above "line cook" at our restaurant. If you can't come recommended from someone I trust, I've no time to waste interviewing you and spending a week seeing what you can do. Executive chefs are only advertised for by dying restaurants that can't attract talent.

work there, that looks more sketch.

[BoopBoopBeep]

f'ign red banner of suck...

is still more if you need more examples , i suspect a lot of the staff were only hired cause they were " hot " so we have a bar with staff only there cause of looks who already have boyfriend's and seem uninterested in the place
--okay so that depends on the kind of place it is. Most of the service industry prefers attractive people. Know a lot of fugly hosts/hostesses? That's the first face of the establishment. The hideous maître d' something you see a lot where you life? They typically have requirements on their appearance right down to haircut, deodorant types and approved jewelry. If you mean he only hires blonde college girls with big tits... is it Hooter's? That's part of the experience (oversimplified). Nobody goes there to see George in a thong, or the truckstop waitress moonlighting there since the IHOP burned down.

- owner refuses to hire any men or minorities as servers , only hot women with big boobs or hot bods
-- Part of this seems to tie in. If he's only hiring women with big boobs and that's the "angle" of that restaurant/bar... well... hot women with big boobs bring in men and those men spend money.

The only thing on your list that is a potential red flag to me is that you're saying he doens't hire minorities. ARE there minorities there to hire? If you're looking for college-aged women with big Boobs in Burlington, VT, they're all white because the whole town has two black people and they have jobs elsewhere. If he's in an area where 40% of the population is black and only white people

[Asker]

just focused on minorities , will talk about the rest later today when i get off work.

the place where i live used to be like burlington VT in the sense , when i went to high school here back in 2000's , was almost no minorities working anywhere in town , so to have an all white staff of girls would not of been a red flag

but things here have definitely changed , some of the fast food places like dairy queen which used to have white girls working at is now 100% south Asian staff , and other places around too are a lot of south Asian or minorities now. like subway , gas stations , variety stores , kfc ,

so his restaurant seems to be a hold out and has avoided hiring any of these new arrivals as staff , and he doesn't hire any men as servers either. the other restaurants in town have skilled and trained male bartenders , but he doesn't want any

its like this place was modeled after a " golf course " club house , which typically hire exceptional good looking women aged 18-20 yet the customers are all men 40-60 , it would seem to have a similar dynamic to that. i don't know if the owner golfs but some of his drinking buddies do

[BoopBoopBeep]

Your last paragraph makes sense to me then as far as painting a picture like that. I don't see any red flags there if it's just a golf club course. Maybe the minority women don't want to work there because the pay is no better than anywhere else and they don't want to look like the sole token diversity hire. Segregation is self-sustaining. Neighborhoods stay white because black people don't want to be the ONE black couple moving into the neighborhood. Everybody feels that way, so there's no SECOND black couple moving in. Doesn't mean the neighborhood shuns blacks, just means nobody wanted to be the first so far. If it's not your vibe, don't go, but I think you're reading too much into things.

[Asker]

its not a golf club house , saying i wondered if owner had modeled this restaurant after one. if that was the idea behind this concept maybe? as it seems very similar , lots of hot 19-20 women like golf courses yet customer base older men like golf clubs.

meant similar but it is a restaurant located downtown near other restaurants

i felt it was a red flag that staff avoid it after work cause it has bar nights during the summer fri / sat and normally there fairly popular and well attended by younger party people here. yet a lot of the staff don't even bother to come out anymore. like they could care less about them and there isn't much else to do here at night

no one there has ever stated to me a reason why the owner does not hire male bartenders or certain minorities. but most other restaurants in town , the staff is a mix of what ever they can find , some men / women of all shapes and sizes ages. but his is all super hot women with big boobs and tight butts , like every single one of them is hot. it does seem he is picking them intentionally and avoiding hiring anyone who does not meet his outrageous standards for women staff.

his staff does not look the same as any other restaurant in this area and i have been in most of them , its pretty standard to have some men working the bar in most places here yet he has drawn this line in the sand and said absolutely no way , like why would he do that? it doesn't seem to me that it was really a business decision when the other places seem to be doing fine

[BoopBoopBeep]

So you're just really intent on making something out of nothing.

Maybe his employees don't party there because they aren't allowed, which is pretty much standard practice. Maybe they don't want to go back to the same place they already spend 40 hours a week. That's pretty common too.

So he picks hot female bartenders. Yeah. Welcome to... a bar. Don't get out much do you?

[Asker]

no they are allowed to party there after work and on weekends , its totally ok. true at some higher end places its not allowed but this is a pub / summer hot spot not a trendy high end restaurant downtown. i've always seen staff there over the years partying and such after work but not so much the last 2 years , last summer it almost came to a total stop which seemed really odd but there definitely allowed to drink there after work

of course its not a red flag for a restaurant to have some hot female bartenders , the issue here is why so many? were not talking 1 or 2 hot girls , were talking like 10 or 12 hot girls way more than you'd see at other restaurants of similar sizes and he won't hire a single man as a server / bartender. there has not been 1 the last decade , i've been there every summer and not 1 . the owner will not allow it

there is other red flags , i just don't have time to go into every weird thing that has gone on there cause there has been so many

[Asker]

do you think the owner might be having a mid life crisis or in need of an ego boost? like why would a 50 year old man need to be with so many hot women when at work , at his age would there not be all kinds of 40 -50 year old women available from divorces or widows? like why worry about being around all these girls

i also heard a story about the owner back in 2015 , i meet this girl who worked as a server in another town at this popular summer restaurant , she would of been like 21 back then. she told me about how she actually served him one day and how he went out of his way to tell her about how he owned this restaurant ( despite the fact she had never been to it and lived 45 minutes away in another town ) and he left her a huge tip , like she was really good looking back then too

does that seem like normal behaviour to you , yeah he never did anything inapproiate but seems off that he went all out to tell her he owned a restaurant and why leave such a big tip? and she already had a boyfriend anyways and way too young for him

[Asker]

the red flag isn't that he hires some hot girls to work there , its that he only hires women of a certain type

he seems to have a very certain type in mind , i'd describe her as

18-25 , white of european descent , attractive , popular , athletic , nice legs , big boobs , would look good in a bikini, usually has no visible tattoo's but might have a hidden one and her belly pierced , usually already has a boyfriend

he ain't hiring any fat girls or south Asian chicks as servers , was one fat hostess last summer but she was friends with the other hostess and i doubt he'll really make her a server unless she loses a lot of weight , she seemed so out of place in that restaurant

[BoopBoopBeep]

Men go back to a place to because the women are hot. Women don't necessarily go back because the men are hot. You know what women are considered hot to most of the people at bars? 18-25 , white of european descent , attractive , popular , athletic , nice legs , big boobs , would look good in a bikini, usually has no visible tattoo's but might have a hidden one and her belly pierced.

Why don't you stop beating around the bush. What do you think, it's a brothel or something? Why have you put so much thought into something that I literally would stop thinking about by the time I got back to my car. You think it's a front for human trafficking? I don't get where you're going.

[Asker]

i know a girl at a country bar who goes back to the same male bartender every night , he's hot and has tattoo's like she does. so there is girls so like male bartenders at the bar. it can add appeal

no i don't think there is human trafficking going on there , more this dude is obsessed with hot white women so he filled his restaurant with them intentionally , it can't possible be an accident. if the purpose of this restaurant was to this be another tourist restaurant by the lake.

the appearance and level of sexual attractiveness of the servers would not matter so much to him , the fact it seems to be the only reason he is hiring them all is a red flag to me.

did i mention he is also following strange pages on instagram , i didn't know he had a page on social media. boy is it weird , not 1 single photo of himself at the restaurant ( also when you google his name none come up either )

he is following like a dozen pages devoted to hot white girls and pages linked to only fans , it screams perv based on his follows. for an owner of a business that employees so many vulnerable young women like students , high school kids. to be following such pages is a major RED flag , what is the possible purpose or reason for him to be following a page called " portslit "

you can look at it for yourself and decide if that is an approiate page for an owner of a business that employees attractive young women to be publically following on social media?

you honestly think he is not a perv? then why on earth is he following pervy pages on instagram? it makes no sense unless he has a serious issue with women

[Asker]

if you can think of a legitimate reason why an owner of a business that employees attractive women is following a page called " portslit " then i will take back my accusation that its a red flag

please enlighten me with a possible legitimate reason why he is following the page " portslit " on instagram?

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'm not going to google that. Whatever it is, I don't care. He can dress up as Papa Smurf and masturbate to reruns of the Golden Girls while hookers spit in his ears and I still wouldn't give him this much space in my head.

He likes hot white women. Look at the porn industry. There's apparently a lot of people who like "hot white women"... are you so stalkerish with all of them?

[Asker]

i'm just trying to figure out what is going on exactly at this restaurant , i don't personally care if he likes to watch porn , its just to me a red flag as an owner of a business that employees so many women that he appears to view them from such a sexualised angle.

it puts into question his true and exact reasons for hiring them and wanted them around the restaurant so badly?

why do the looks and sex appeal of the servers matter so much to this guy? why is he following strange pages on instagram?

it just points in the direction there is something strange about this restaurant and its odd hiring practices , only hot white women with big boobs need apply?

which isn't even legal , in my country its illegal to post job ads online for which only 1 sex can apply so i'm not even sure how he is finding all these women exactly

[BoopBoopBeep]

It doesn't put into question his reason for wanting attractive people around his restaurant. Nobody wants to hang out with ugly. Nobody is questioning this because everybody understands this is how it works everywhere. Would you rather hang out with attractive people or ugly people? Don't lie and act like you're thinking about it. That's like saying "Oh it's odd that these lifeguards are wet all the time"... no bro... its not. It's not odd to anyone except you and I suppose an individual with extreme autism may find it a situation in which they are unable to relate.

Maybe they're all referrals and he's not posting job ads online anywhere. What country are you in?

[Asker]

i know for a fact he does not post job ads online , and i read that there was a legal decision in my country in 2016 that said it was illegal to post ads for which one 1 sex could apply. so if he were to post one he'd be legally forced to accept applications from men and minorities he does not appear to want to hire as servers

no its not a red flag that he hires attractive women , i agree all restaurants / bars try and bring in those types of people as staff.

the red flag is perhaps more who he is not hiring , no men at all? not 1 single male server like ever and few to no minorities , has been few women ever work there i'd say qualified as a minority. the kitchen staff is all white too

even hooters which only hired women as servers still had black and latino or others as servers , its like this guy is almost " white nationalist " or something. think how out of place and out of touch this restaurant is going to look 5 or 10 years from now it this insanity is allowed to continue

the amount of minorities in our area is way more than in years past , he will have a very hard time explaining to people why he does not hire them in the future if demographic trends continue

[BoopBoopBeep]

Did you apply for a job and get turned down or something? Why do you give so much of a fuck who he hires? I have literally never had an occasion to put as much thought into how an unrelated person manages a business that I don't work at and go to the point of looking up his personal facebook/insta/whatever pages.

That's borderline stalking.

[Asker]

no i've never ever applied there for any position. went to that bar a lot , over the years and knew some of the people who worked there. its located within my hometown area which is why i had been to it so much.

i don't care about the owner or what he does on his own time , i just wanted answers as to what was going on there and why so many " red flags " seemed to be originating from that one specific location

this isn't about the owner , my issues with this place are more complex than that. its tough to explain everything , felt i had been a really loyal customer only to be treated really bad by the people there in the end.

i haven't physically been in the bar since Jan 5 so i'm trying to move on with my life and starting to except the fact its not going to be part of it anymore at least not to the extent it had been

[BoopBoopBeep]

You were probably treated bad because they could tell you have a penchant to fixate unhealthily on something. @msc545 care to give a third party opinion on this one in case I'm just out of my mind with COVID again?

Bro... the mere fact that you used the phrase "move on with your life" after "breaking up with a bar" speaks volumes. Please get help. You're worth it.

[Asker]

well i spent a lot of time there so it does oddly enough feel like an actual break up in that sense. despite how weird that sounds.

they wouldn't tell me what the problem there was exactly so i was forced to sit there knowing something was wrong with the situation but the staff would not talk to me about it. so it was very odd and not a healthy situation to be in. i felt i had no choice but to walk away

but that doesn't make what the owner is doing right , clearly he has a problem too. rate now he is sort of like the creepy uncle hiring all these hot 18-20 year olds with hot bods to work the restaurant but in another 5 or years he'll be like the creepy grandpa hiring all these hot just out of high school women to work his restaurant , does that not seem weird on so many levels?

can you imagine what people around town will say about him then , sure they want his money but behind his back everyone is going to be like that guy is the " creepy grandpa " with his restaurant full of hot girls young enough to be his grand kids , its going to be so weird

although i suspect he'll have enough common sense to know when its time to sell and move on. although i saw him drink and drive last summer so i don't really know if he is all there either

[Asker]

not to mention the world is changing , can you even imagine how out of touch his restaurant is going to seem 5 years from now if he still does not allow men to serve there or hire minorities?

it honestly seems out of touch now but if this is allowed to continue for years , 5 years from now that place is going to be so out of touch with reality no one will even want to admit they went there in the first place. they'll be so embarrassed to admit they were part of something that allowed such discrimination to take place just so people could make money $$$

and he is discriminating against certain people , how can anyone say he is not discriminating against gay men or minorities as things stand rate now?

in my country we have " human rights tribunals " if someone were to fill a complaint it would go to one and i suspect he'd lose badly. which is why he is going all out to prevent anyone from even applying to be a server there , no ads on legit job sites , no online application or web site. its all to prevent the people he deems unhirable from applying in the first place so he can avoid getting in trouble a bit longer

[BoopBoopBeep]

The problem the owner has is he's got a creepy stalker he and the staff may not be aware of, or they ARE aware of it, and have pointed out to him that you give them the creeps. In my country you'd already be a couple steps past getting a restraining order placed against you or a couple guys would meet you in an alley, depending on which part of the country you lived in.

It doesn't matter what people around town say about him. Do you know what they'd say about you if they were reading your posts here? You come off as a serial killer in training bro.

Every restaurant in D. C. is owned by someone old enough to be "creepy grandpa" with a restaurant full of hot girls. Nobody goes out to get served by fugly. I don't know what kind of cave you grew up in, but I've dined in dozens of countries and the waitstaff is primarily attractive females. That's the way the world works buddy.

My friend... I do not believe you are in a position to be talking about who is out of touch. You're stalking a restaurant owner because you had a break up with his restaurant, so now you're acting like the crazy ex that talks shit about the new girlfriend.

If 5 years from now nobody wants to eat there, you know what? That doesn't concern you at all. You aren't financially backing that restaurant. You need to find something else to fixate on and get help for your untreated mental illness. This isn't healthy for you. It's going to eat you up inside.

[Asker]

most restaurants here are owned by older people or chains ( corporate ) so i wouldn't expect a younger person to actually own a restaurant. his age is not a red flag , the issue was he only wants to hire good looking younger women ( 18-25 ) ,

why does he feel so strongly that a male server could not represent his restaurant and do there job effectively? i find that a very hard question to answer as so many other places do hire male servers , true at most places there a minority compared to women but at his place its 100 % girls 0 % guys that is the red flag

i' glad i broke up with this restaurant , i have not had one single urge to go back to it since the last time i was there 3 weeks ago and i don't think that i will be going back anytime soon either its definitely off the schedule for the time being

i need to re focus my life and find something that i can feel better about and that yields the kinds of experiences and relationships i actually want to experience in life. sitting behind a bar lonely cause you cannot have the hot server who isn't even single is not a good place for anyone to be

[BoopBoopBeep]

Yes. Yes you do. I hope you refocus it on something healthier.

[Asker]

i know its a weird situation , guess that i hold resentment towards the owner cause he created such a toxic environment for me by his hiring habits , true a lot of restaurants are like that i guess but his seemed to be especially problematic for me.

but as life goes on i feel that something better or at least different will present itself.

could you imagine how depressing valentines day weekend would of been at that place? sitting at the bar by myself having to look at girls who had boyfriend's i could not have. it just would of been so sad , surely there has to be something better out there and maybe i'll meet someone i could actually date who is single and not employed by one of the restaurants i go to

[BoopBoopBeep]

You should NOT go to that place for Valentine's day. What's the name of it I'll look it up... maybe that will give me my full outlook on it.

[Asker]

i wasn't planning to go out on the actual valentines day ( weds i think ) meant the weekend before it fri / sat.

don't worry will NOT be going to that place for the time being its off the schedule entirely and no immediate plans to go back. until i feel better about things or have some other reason to go there as to why i would have to be there or something

i get what your saying if you were able to learn more about it , might have a better understand of what its all about or if what i'm saying about it makes sense or not. i don't really feel comfortable using its real name. i'm actually located in Canada so unless you've been there doubt you've actually been to it. its sort of a tourist area , so busy in the summer , not so busy rate now but still open year round. i'm not sure how long its been in operation or when current owner took charge.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Actually I have friends all across Canada :)

Sounds like a tourist spot to get a bite. Makes sense then it'd all be hot women working there. Tourists tip well. Hot people get tipped well. It's win win.

[Asker]

there is nothing really unusual about its location or design , busy spot , along a main road , where a lot of people pass through. it has an indoor dining area with a small bar and an outdoor patio with a small bar.

a lot of the staff are long term , some are students so only work during the summer but come back each year. there often fairly good looking as they'd be 18-20 but some older staff who started when younger but who now have had kids , but he doesn't hire older women or local single moms even good looking ones. i guess he doesn't like them either maybe felt they'd be more worried about kid than job

still wonder about the possible connection to a golf course club house theme? as there are a lot of golf courses in this area and seems to be similarities , golf courses hire really good looking girls 1-20 but customers all men old enough to be there father which is similar to this restaurant.

wonder if maybe he was type of guy who was obsessed with all the hot bev cart girls but could never have one so he decided to hire a bunch of hot women who looked like bev cart girls to staff his restaurant. and give his buddies a place to drink that is staffed with hot women they could obviously never have in real life. ok not illegal but still kind of weird someone would do this

[Asker]

its not a red flag that hot women work there , the red flag is that it appears he has a type and seems to only hire certain girls. who would be described as fairly desirable. it makes sense that if you had a popular restaurant you would get some of the more desirable girls wanting to work at it and i've been to other tourist hot spots where its a similar vibe and you would meet hot girls at such places if they served you

but other places have way more mixed staff ( women , men , minorities ) , and allow qualified male bartenders to work at there restaurants. the summers here its also hard for the restaurants to even find enough staff to fill there roosters some years

which is why its a red flag that he is so selective when other places can barely even find enough staff and have to hire whoever is available just to keep places open. yet someone this guy has decided even qualified and experienced men are not welcome as staff at his restaurant

[Asker]

i just don't get his whole concept , why focus so much time trying to get men to go there cause the bartenders are really hot?

when typically successful bars have a customer base of " attractive single women " and men go to them cause they want to meet and buy a drink for a single girl

men would much rather go to a bar that has actual single women than go to a bar that has hot yet not actually available women working as servers

he needs to think of a concept that is actually appealing and brings out real single women instead of this insanity of worrying so much about having hot bartenders to try and bring out lonely men with nothing else to do

i remember when i was younger i didn't like country much but there was this country bar near my college full of hot women every weekend. so yeah i went and found the bar interesting enough to keep going and have actually bought real girls shots there over the years at the bar

i want to go to a bar where there is actual " options " not this none sense of being lied to by hot girls who already have someone in there life just so they can make $ tips

[Asker]

there was one more thing about this place that really bothers me that i haven't really gone into detail yet and which i found really creepy.

as mentioned a lot of the girls who worked there had boyfriends and being a smaller city you'd sometimes see them there too. but it would always go over really badly when they were there i can recall a few times over the years with different girls who worked there when things got really weird

like i'd just be sitting at bar having a beer , bothering no one maybe making small talk with bartender and her boyfriend would give me threatening looks or like walk by or something. it was really weird and was one who even came rate up to my table , started talking to me in a threatening tone all because i said hi to his girlfriend and another girl the night before.

it was a really weird place , like why in a small town would you be trying to lure single guys like me into a bar cause the bartenders are really hot when they have boyfriends who go to the same bar? like is that not incredibly weird and even potentially dangerous to the customer if these boyfriends are like potentially violent or unhinged?

the whole concept of that place was just so toxic and makes no sense even looking back on it all now , like just to make money? what if i had been beaten up by that dude? just cause i went to the bar his girlfriend worked at cause i wanted to have a drink and though the girls there were interesting? like i did nothing wrong , the bar itself has serious issues i think

[BoopBoopBeep]

Why do you think you are obsessing about it so much?

[Asker]

cause i had been to this place so many times over the years and knew or at least though i knew some of the girls who worked there and its physically located in my home town

i don't disagree that i need to move on with my life , which is why i have not been to this place since Jan 5th and trying to find other things to do instead , not planning to go back anytime soon , its off the schedule entirely not even an option

guess i'm trying to find answers to help explain what went on there and why it ended the way it did

[Asker]

and do you not thing there is something weird and sketchy about a bar in a small town only hiring hot women and trying to lure men into the bar when there not even single and there boyfriend's go to the same bar? like weird and sketchy of so many levels for a business to do that

although i suspect they were actually trying to " work " out of town men they figured they'd never see again ( as its a tourist area ) into leaving huge tips , like sometimes i'd see " bachleor parties " there and they'd run up huge tabs. but still something weird and unethical about a bunch of girls with boyfriend's from a small town working men they figure they'll never see again for money and hopes of big tips

and i sort of just got caught up in it but perhaps i wasn't really there target

[BoopBoopBeep]

No. I think there is literally nothing sketchy about that. Not even a little bit. I've been in tons of places like that. None of them were weird. Nothing is weird in any of this except your fixation. What normal looks like is what I do 5 minutes after I walk out of a place, which is "never think about it again, because it doesn't matter."

There is nothing unethical about girls from a small town flirting with whomever for big tips. Whether they have boyfriends or not is not anyone's business. What IS unethical is how you're fixating on them in a way that's not only unhealthy for YOU, but creepy to them. Look at the other women on this post who are saying you're giving off creeper vibes. This is what they're talking about. If they can tell you're fixating you don't think the women in the bar can? No wonder they don't want you around.

You need to get help buddy. You deserve it. You'll have such a better life afterwards.

[Asker]

nothing unethical about girls from a small town who already have a boyfriend flirting with random men at this bar downtown just to make money?

i agree its possible the intent was not to flirt and make money from local guys rather they knew they could make big tips from men from out of town ( as this was a tourist hot spot during summer ) and over the years they got good at this and i sort of just got in the way and witnessed some of there bad behaviour

i personally find the girls who worked this bar rather sketchy at this point , if you already have a boyfriend working men at a bar downtown is not perhaps unheard of and people in the industry do it all the time but being a small town it just seems a little off and owner should of had enough common sense as a grown adult to know it was wrong thing to do here.

i don't care if its not illegal and girls do this at bars in the city , this was not a city of 1 million people , some of these boyfriends i'd see at the gym or where ever. they'd like stare at me and hated me , i'm surprised none of them like physically attacked me at this point to be entirely honest and all i did was go to a bar downtown and have some beers sitting at a bar talking to a server who is being paid to serve me , its not like i asked for there # or tried to have sex with them

[Asker]

its almost Friday , ain't planning of going back to that place that is for sure , will NOT be going there

i agree that i need to move on from it and see what else the world has to offer , whatever that may be

[Asker]

i don't disagree there was people at that specific bar who did not like me being there all the time and didn't like me personally either.

i live in the town its located in and haven't been there for almost 1 month and yet not 1 person has asked me about it in this area or has 1 person sent me a message on social media either , just total silence they won't even talk to me at all

but i have been to tons of other bars and restaurants across Canada and this is generally NOT the experience i've had at other places. i've been to country bars , night clubs , pubs , chain restaurants , summer hot spots , sports bars. and generally had good times and often buy actual girls shots at the bar when at these other places

i'm done with this stuiped bar from my hometown , i don't plan on going back there anytime soon. i even wonder when i do eventually go back ( maybe by summer? ) if they'll even serve me , it will seem so weird being there after avoiding for so long , but at this point even going back by summer seems uncertain and not sure its a good idea to go back ever to be totally honest

[BoopBoopBeep]

"nothing unethical about girls from a small town who already have a boyfriend flirting with random men at this bar downtown just to make money?"

Correct, nothing unethical about that. Every server I've ever had flirts with me. I'm sure some of them have boyfriends. Wait staff flirts with the customers. That's how the service industry works.

That's how it works in every small town I've ever been in. I live in one now, and at the three bars we have, that's how it works there. I've traveled all around the globe and that's how it worked in Russian, Arabic, Spanish, English and Korean languages and a couple more minor ones that nobody ever seems to have even heard of. That's how it was when I was in Toronto and Ontario as well.

"i live in the town its located in and haven't been there for almost 1 month and yet not 1 person has asked me about it in this area or has 1 person sent me a message on social media either , just total silence they won't even talk to me at all"

What would they ask you? Why don't you go there anymore? It's a small town... they probably know.

I think you should actually never go back to that bar.

[Asker]

not going to lie , have had the same though too that i should never go back there ever. it does seem really toxic to me for whatever reason

its tough to explain my life here but i have never really been popular , public school , high school was really tough to go through and i was never really well like for whatever reason. always had a hard time making friends my own age and so it does make sense that i would have a hard time at a bar in my hometown based on fact i've always struggled with people my own age or slightly younger in this place

so yeah seems like a continuation of same problems i've always had here

but life goes on and is another bar somewhere else i could sit at bar and order a beer at. its not like that place has anything i could not find somewhere else

its also a very difficult singles scene here which might explain why bar scene so tough , most women in there 30's would already be married or with someone , all the students are away at college and other young people have moved away. so yeah bar scene is not exactly full of many options. which might explain why guys here so protective of what they have

[BoopBoopBeep]

I was bullied a lot in junior high school... i understand where you're coming from.

This:

"so yeah seems like a continuation of same problems i've always had here"

That is fundamentally correct. You have nothing to gain by being there and only a lot to lose mentally/psychologically by submitting yourself to that again. That's why I think you should stay gone. No reason to go through a repeat/rehash of everything you are going through now.

[Asker]

i know small town bars and pubs can be really tough places at times , it can help that you know all the people there but that can also work against you too i guess which might be contributing to my problem.

my head and hear both say to not go back there for the time being and that is plan for immediate future a total do NOT go in there for time being.

its possible things could change in the future but i get the feeling that is not the type of place which is really going to change much

only thing that has changed is i'm not longer there , whatever that is worth to the people there if anything. i wonder if they even noticed that i was gone? feel like maybe the servers did cause i was there so much and tried to talk to some of them , the customers maybe not so much

[Asker]

what was Friday night like without going to the local hang out downtown?

well i went to a nearby town instead its about 15 minutes away ( pop 16,000 ) not really a lot there , is a small gym i can use as its same chain as one here.

the restaurant i was planning to go to downtown was closed for a winter break , guess owner had took the week off. it has a mixed staff , a couple attractive younger women but also has a number of male servers/bartenders

so i went to this wing place instead , its ok but not really a place where you'd meet someone new. staff is 2 women maybe late 20's , not super attractive but still ok looking for that town , also have 1 male server who is south Asian i think? , stayed there for 1 drink , no one seemed uncomfortable or anything that i was there obviously

then went to a chain sports bar ( in Canada we have a chain called boston pizza ) its in like every major town / city. not much going on there , nhl all stars on tv but place wasn't really that busy
bartender was a guy , some girls work as servers / hosts , stayed for 1 drink than went home

[BoopBoopBeep]

Sounds like that town is more your vibe. I'd say focus on there.

[Asker]

i still can't help but think about the place i'm avoiding

i feel like they just stood there and watched me drown all these years if you know what i mean. they never once tried to help me solve my social and relationship problems. now i realise its not there job but it just seems really cold that all they cared about was $ money when i was obviously very deeply hurt.

no one ever suggested i should try and talk to the people there who disliked me or offer to buy them a drink? or try and befriend them to try and bury the hatchet as they say. i guess maybe they felt there was nothing they could do to fix things or they felt it would lead to further issues , i don't really know

but it was there concept that is toxic not me being there. i can't think of anything more toxic in the business world than to hire only based on body combined with discrimination. i mean what message is that sending to potential customers when staff is hired only for looks with obvious discrimination taking place to create such a line up of servers.

i get that the owner is in a tough spot cause in a small town you need servers in a place like that who know and resemble the customers to make things seem like a real bar/hang out spot. if he had an all south Asian staff like the dairy queen it would seem really off i admit. but something about the idea of discrimination based on race and sex that i cannot get on board with despite it being necessary on some level to create the atmosphere one would expect in a small town bar

[BoopBoopBeep]

THey're servers bro, not therapists, it's not their job to "help you solve your social and relationship problems" and that's a really unfair and unhealthy expectation for you to have.

Look, you think this place is toxic, then all the more reason to move on with your life and never go back. Do they care if you never go back? No, they don't. I spent years in the service industry before the towers came down and there was never a time where I actually gave a shite if someone came back or not. They'd be replaced with a hundred other by the end of the week.

Here's a thought. The guy is making money. His place isn't closing down, so obviously other people are going there. Do you ever wonder why they don't seem to have a problem with it like you do? I mean if he was ACTUALLY doing something immoral like beating the waitresses if they mess up an order there'd be people out front protesting and he'd be run out of business. Everybody else sees what's going on but nobody has a problem with it, because ultimately it's a non-issue. You think it's toxic, you have the right to not go there. This is America you can do that. As the owner, I have the right to not care what you opinion is as long as SOMEONE is willing to take your place as a customer, which clearly they are because they aren't tracking you down and begging for you to come back. I get you don't like it. There's a lot in life you aren't going to like. You can focus on that or you can focus on the parts of life you DO like. One is a lot more enjoyable than the other. I implore you to take that route and forget about this insignificant bar that isn't going to actually change your life one way or another based on who they hire.

[Asker]

there are a couple girls from that town i've bought shots for at other bars but never seem to see them when in town.

one actually works at that restaurant downtown that was closed although i think she is out of the country on a trip. whats odd her sister also works at that same restaurant

that town used to have a more vibrant bar scene when i was younger , the gym i go there used to be a popular restaurant years ago till some idiot started a fire and it never reopen and space turned into a gym. too bad its not there cause that spot was actually well liked by local women so could of meet someone there

some crazy soul also tried to start a small nightclub in that town around 2015 maybe? i think it lasted like 1 or 2 years and space now a retail store. it was so weird it started out really hot then like died a few months after opening i only recall going once or twice , had no atmosphere ( walls were plain white ) and weird vibe , didn't even have an outdoor patio despite this being a summer time hang out area. it was also insanely expensive

[Asker]

sometimes doing what is right is more important than making money , no doubt these girls will have the biggest pay cheques in town this summer but there sure ain't going to be seeing much of me as a customer.

its not that the owner does not have a right to make money or run the business how he pleases

but legally in our country discrimination of a job applicant based on race and sex is illegal so just cause he is the owner of a business does not make what he is doing right. he still has to follow the laws of our country and respect peoples rights

maybe they wonder where i went? maybe they care less and enjoy the chance to move on as well , it doesn't really matter cause life goes on

is this country bar in another city i like to go to on Saturday instead , will be going there and its more of a fun vibe obviously and like the music more , i've bought girls shots there before too but kind of hit or miss , some nights i do well others not so much it can really depend

but life goes on as they say

[Asker]

had some more thoughs on this when i was out Saturday night

do you think that maybe this place wanted me to stop coming in? almost feel like they felt they had made a mistake in allowing me to become a regular customer and then they didn't know how to get rid of me. its almost like they were afraid to deal with me for some reason?

or perhaps they always knew that at some point i would stop coming in and move on. but they didn't want to say something or force my early exit. but i wouldn't of been offended if someone had talked to me privately and tried to work out a solution.

as i felt like i had no other choice than to walk away for the time being and not go there. and i don't really see any point in going back as things stand now. cause it would simply be a return to the previous situation which is far too uncomfortable and pointless to enter back into

ain't no reason to hang out with servers at a pub who already have boyfriend's who don't even seem to like me being there

anyways it felt so liberating driving down the highway on Saturday knowing i wouldn't have to go to this place

so close to doing a shot with a girl i liked at the country bar , she said yes but then as we walked to bar with her girlfriend she flaked out. think it was my bad last time i did one with her she was already at bar and it went down easier

[BoopBoopBeep]

You're a customer. If you didn't cause problems, which you say you didn't, then you still don't matter to them. They never thought twice about you once you walked out the door because you don't matter to any of them once they have your tip in hand.

I think you'll enjoy the new bar better.

[Asker]

well i didn't start fights or break things but it was tough to get along with people there , i'd sort of have favorite servers , its tough to explain but

i pretty much enjoyed every bar i went to last night more than the one we are talking about

obviously if i was in a big city downtown in a bar / restaurant area i would not go back to a place that i had bad experiences in or felt unwelcome. cause there is so many other options why worry about a place like that

its tougher being in a smaller area though , when you don't have as many options or venues to just not go somewhere. when there isn't as many alternatives. our downtown there is actually a fair numbers of places ( brewery, restaurants , pub , sports bars ) but its not a vibrant night life scene , a lot of them close early like 9 or 10 pm. the place i'm avoiding it was like only spot that stayed open late like till close so 12am or earlier right but other spots not open late.

its weird that country bar i went to used to be busier , like when i went there before covid every Saturday would be packed. like it was busy last night but not like it used to be. i read the college there has a lot more international students from asia/india and not nearly as many local kids which might explain why bar scene in that city struggling it doesn't have as many potential customers as international students don't come out to bar like locals did

[Asker]

update has been an odd post on the bars social media

they posted a help wanted ad but guess what there NOT looking for which seems kind of bizarre and hard to believe for a restaurant , servers?

the ad says for the upcoming summer season are looking for hosts, line cooks and dishwashers but makes no mention of servers

do you not think this is highly odd for a summer time restaurant to not be looking for servers for the summer and to not be excepting resumes?

it seems difficult to believe every single server from last summer is coming back as servers then to be transient and young people move around to other jobs and cities all the time

so why doesn't he want people to apply to be a server there? it seems like he is intentionally making it more difficult for people to apply cause he only wants to hire hot young women and possibly worried one of the people he rejects will file a complaint for discrimination based on race , sex

like how can a restaurant not be looking for servers? even if they have a full line up , you think they'd still want some resumes on file incase someone leaves or they need more if busier. if seems really odd to me for a busy restaurant to not be accepting resumes for servers but is for all other positions

[BoopBoopBeep]

No I don't think that's odd. It seems like a nice place to work so their servers don't leave. The only thing odd here is you, my friend, because you have some pathologic obsession with this place. You need to stop thinking about them, stop driving by there and looking in, stop googling them, stop going to their facebook, you need to move on with your life. I promise they're not missing you there at all.

He only wants hot severs there. That's okay. There's a lot of places like that. I've eaten in Michelin starred restaurants in dozens of countries and I've never had an ugly server. That's just how it is. WHY do you care so much?

[Asker]

i didn't go there this weekend and haven't been in there since Jan 5 . its not a priority in my life rate now , that is something we agree on.

around here businesses then to need more staff for the summer , obviously during winter its slow so they don't need extra staff but during the summer? to not even be accepting resumes for servers seems off , when other places are going out of there way to seek resumes for servers

there is a chain restaurant in same area that has a sign outside restaurant saying there hiring servers and could make up to $40 an hour working there , that is how desperate some of the other places are but this guy won't even accept a resume? seems off

he obviously only wants hot servers , everyone has come to that same conclusion , be impossible to come to any other conclusion based on the make up and look of his staff. he obviously doesn't want anyone on staff if they don't live up to his insane standards for looks

isn't discrimination bad for business? is a reason places like mcdonalds don't do this , cause they want everyone to feel welcome coming in. by him doing this isn't he scaring away certain segments of the population , you think more average or less attractive girls feel welcome coming in there? or minorities who work at other places , you think they want to go have a beer after work at place that won't hire them?

[BoopBoopBeep]

Nope. Doesn't seem off. I spent nearly 20 years in the service industry never had an ugly waitress at any of the places I worked.

Are you the silent partner backing it? No? Then it's none of your business if his choices make sense to you or not, because you have no stake in the game, no seat at the table. He doesn't have to explain to you why he hires who he hires. "Because I wanted to" is good enough reason, and thats' implied by the fact that they are hired there. The servers aren't quitting and storming out and filing lawsuits that they're being human trafficked. There is literally nothing amiss there except for whatever narrative you're making up in your mind, and it's not healthy for you to do this.

Are you on the chamber of commerce? No? Then it's honestly none of your business how he chooses to run his establishment. He's not out of business, so if there was this great outcry that you're so convinced there would be, then he'd be boycotted. He has the clientele he wants. They have a place to hang out with the atmosphere that THEY want, so the symbiotic relationship flourishes. It's not where YOU want to be, and they don't want you to be there, and that's okay too, because every place isn't for every person. The difference is you are not significant to that place and now that you're gone they're not going to think about you any longer. You should do the same. That part of your life is over now. Nothing that happens there should matter to you..

[_Maya_]

Okay, I am a bartender at a club type venue. I also do daytime down at the waterfront bar for boaters.

Guess what? It is smart and a good business tactic to hire "hot" or attractive girls. You know why? It gets a place a reputation for having pretty girls working. That gets people talking about the place. Got your attention hasn't it?

Guys want to look at pretty girls. That keeps them coming back and also bringing in more friends which equals? You guessed it. Money.

So this is not weird at all and very common. It's also smart. You see guys will go to a bar for the hot bartenders. Girls will not go for hot guys. Well the majority don't. Girls go to a club or bar for totally different purposes.

Also, guys won't come if it is a sausage fest behind the bar. Girls don't care if hot girls are working there. Again it is just the difference with genders and our reasoning for going out to a club.

[Asker]

@_Maya_ well i agree girls go to bars for totally different reasons and not the bartenders. which i think is why this place needs to review there concept.

its good to have some hot girls working the bar and serving but there needs to be other reasons for people to come in

this place doesn't even do a trivia night or a wing night. its not even promoting the super bowl

its also located in a small city where everyone knows each other , so to me seems off to use hot bartenders to lure men in when the girls who work there are not single and you might run into there boyfriends at the gym , kind of awkward when they know you go there cause there girlfriend works there and you like to see her

so i think it needs to come up with other reasons as to why people should be going there , using hot not single bartenders in a small town seems kind of sketchy at this point , i get that restaurants do this but things really need to change there

[BoopBoopBeep]

That's not awkward to anyone. Servers have lives. Right @_Maya_ ? You have ever heard of a place that fires the girls for not being single?

They're not doing trivia night or wing night or super bowl. Okay, roger... why do you care how they are running their business?

There is literally nothing "off" to use hot bartenders to lure men in. That is how it works the whole world over. What you think it needs to come up with doesn't count for anything, because you're not the owner, you're not the partner, you're not the manager. None of those people care what you think. You shouldn't care what they think or what they do, because none of it affects you. You're obsessing again. It'll stress you out, and you're worth more than that, and you don't have to keep going down this road.

[_Maya_]

@BoopBoopBeep yeah, we have lives. I am in a masters program and bartering helps me survive and be independent.

I'm not sure why you care they don't do wing or trivia night. They don't do that where I work and there is a reason for it. Here is the secret.

My bar/club where I work does have to do that. We have no problem packing the place on a weekday night with the snow flying and 8" on the ground.

Bars that do trivia night or wing night have to because that gets butts in the seats. It also costs money. My bar isn't going to spend money on a trivia setup (costs more than you think) or discount wings. We don't have to.

This place doesn't either because they were smart and hired hot girls. Is it that you want a job there or something?

[BoopBoopBeep]

@_Maya_ Yeah none of my places did special nights like that either. There was a wait to get in because my food is amazing and the staff was gorgeous wtf do I care what people are doing for the superbowl? People sit there and watch. Eat and get out because other people are waiting to pay for their seat.

[_Maya_]

@BoopBoopBeep yeah those gimmicks are for places that can't draw people in on their own.

They come up with all these xxxxx "nights". All those cost money in one way or another. Either you're bringing in additional (temp) employee to run a trivia night or buying the equipment itself.

That shit is not cheap so most hire an outside service. Discounting food for wing night works but again to are costing yourself money all the while paying for staff.

Here is an example. The bar next to us has a similar capacity and appeal. Also almost similar number of staff as us. They do those stupid "nights". To keep this simple I will use simple numbers.

My bar: 15 staff that costs $$$ per night.

Bar brings in 7 $$$$$$$

Bar has a profit of four $$$$

Bar nextdoor:

15 staff costs $$$

Bar has trivia night and discount wings costing 2 $$

They pack it for trivia and bring in 7 like us $$$$$$$

Bar earns 2 $$.

We made twice by hiring girls and having tops where my tits are busting out and shorts and that I have to make sure I shaved my coochie almost...

As a business person, which would you buy if both were for sale?

[BoopBoopBeep]

@_Maya_ Yep it's simple math. You refuse to come her because I don't have wing night? wtf do I care one less person to give discount shite to when plenty of other people want to pay full price. Not hiring over the summer? No shite because the waitresses are hot, so they get tipped well, and they work AT a place with a reputation for hot waitresses, so people are always going there AND not wanting to seem cheap in front of the hot girls, who flirt with them as appropriate, so the tips are frequent and large. I wouldn't quit either. Dishwasher doesn't have that luxury so yeah there may be turnover there. There's nothing "immoral" about any of them having a boyfriend. They're hot and making good money... f'ing of course they have a boyfriend. That's like getting mad that you got wet at the pool. That's how it works... nothing weird about it.

[_Maya_]

@BoopBoopBeep it is also customary for us girls to tip out the rest of the staff. We pool a portion of our tips for barbacks, kitchen etc. We do good, they do good. They want hot girls up front because they make more because of us. I'm no dummy and know exactly how to extract max tip from my. customers. It is their decision but I know what I'm doing. I'll have a line just to ask me for a beer and have me twist it open for ya. You get a brief convoy, stare at my tits and get a smile. If you're lucky you get to watch me bend down to the lower cooler.

Honestly I think people actually scout what's down there just so I have to get it. Is it sexualizing me? Yeah. Is it harming me? No. Does the bar make more money? Yeah. Do I care guys do it and the girls couldn't give a fuck? No. I make good money.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@_Maya_ Yep... it's how the game is played. Since the first bar/restaurant opened I'd venture.

[Asker]

i wasn't saying they should not hire women who are in relationships , just didn't think it was a good idea to be focusing so much on the attractiveness of the servers in a small town when these girls have boyfriend's you see around town. it just makes things kind of awkward

they obviously still have the super bowl on tv there tonight , i will NOT be going there as mentioned . i just found it odd there not promoting it , nothing at all on social media about it not 1 single post. yesterdays post was about a " sandwich " not the super bowl kind of weird

my point was they should be coming up with other reasons for people to go there other than the fact the servers are hot. trivia was just an example of something other bars do to bring people out. they could do something else like some places have live music nights or UFC fights

[Asker]

you don't think there help wanted ad is weird that it does not seek resumes for servers?

if they posted an add only seeking kitchen staff maybe that wouldn't seem odd as some restaurants do have trouble finding people to work the kitchen

i just find it hard to believe a restaurant that is seasonally busier during the summer is claiming it does not need any servers. all restaurants have turnover and servers come and go. sure a lot might be coming back from last summer but it seems hard to believe there are no open positions at all

i don't know how much $ money they make there exactly as none have ever told me specific numbers , maybe they do make more than one realise as it has a reputation for hot waitresses and people wouldn't want to seem cheap in front of them

it still seems so bizare for a restaurant to not be accepting resumes for servers for the summer season as other places here are desperate for servers and post ads online seeking them all the time

[BoopBoopBeep]

But if "hot servers are there" is the only reason they need to make money they don't have to come up with any other reason. Your point is they should. Okay, why should they? To make you happy? They aren't concerned with making you happy, bro. That's like you saying what color I should paint my house or what I should plant outside. You're not paying my mortgage, I don't care what your opinion is. When you start ponying up mortgage payments you can get a vote on the color of the trim, but until then your opinion doesn't count for anything. They don't need to bring more people out. They're happy with who is there now. Why are you so invested in this?

you don't think there help wanted ad is weird that it does not seek resumes for servers?
No. No I don't. I don't find anything weird about that at all. I have a friend that runs a restaurant by the beach and she hasn't hired anybody new in nearly 5 years. Some people are seasonal so when the tourists come back they just come get their old job back, some people never leave, but there's no cause to put up an ad because she's just going to get the same people that she already knows and trusts.

it still seems so bizare for a restaurant to not be accepting resumes for servers

Nope... not odd at all... only thing odd here is why you're obsessing over this. I don't give two shites about who hires who at a restaurant as soon as I get my tab and walk out the door. I have never put as much time into thinking about it as you've spent typing all these posts. You're obsessing. It isn't healthy. You need to let it go. Just chalk it up to one more thing in this great big world of ours that isn't understandable to you. Everybody's got tons. I don't know why people would like slam poetry. Never going to get it. I think it's dumb. I don't spend my time tracking down the posts for slam poetry contests and wondering why people are doing this dumb shite.

[_Maya_]

Bruh. You've been on about the same thing for almost two weeks. I have not read every single post because I don't have the time and the ones I did read are just a repeat of you complaining about them having hot servers.

You never answer our questions tho. Why does it matter to you? Are you like upset you're not a hot girl that gets tons of attention? It ain't all it's cracked up to be.

Do they not flirt with you like other patrons? You mad everyone is paying attention to them and not you? You pissed the owner making bank through the use of sex and you didn't think of it? Like what is it?

Answer why for two weeks you keep saying the same thing that it is wrong they have hot girls and weird they aren't hiring. They don't have to. Why is that so weird?

Do you have a sister or friend that wanted a job and didn't stack up? Like what seriously is the deal?

[Asker]

@_Maya_ well had been going to this place for a long time as its located in my hometown. that might explain why i was so obsessed with it.

don't think its odd the owner hired attractive women to work there , just find it off that he feels so strongly it needs to be 100 % hot women servers. its like over kill isn't it? like mixing a drink way too strong. to bring in guys they only need a couple hot servers on at once , don't need an entire bar filled with them. i wouldn't have an issue if there were a couple male bartenders who also worked there and served me

i've never applied there for a job or has anyone in my family. i've meet a lot of the people who worked there over the years.

to be honest i just don't like the way i was treated , maybe to them this was just a tease but its kind of a cruel tease , like teasing a dog with a piece of meat forever and never giving it to him for no reason. i get that these girls already found love and just work here for money but would it have hurt if they had helped me a little bit in my search to find someone to love too?

[BoopBoopBeep]

Okay OP... NOW maybe we're getting to the meat and potatoes here... or flapjacks and syrup... whatever you say in Canada. Please elaborate for me and @_Maya_ what you mean when you say you don't like the way you were treated. How were you treated, specifically. What did they do to you, or not do to you that's left you so unable to move on? Because they wouldn't matchmake for you? What do you mean by "would it have hurt if they had helped me a little bit in my search to find someone to love too?" Bro, they pour your drinks and keep the bar snacks fresh, they don't give two shites about you finding love and it's fundamentally not their job to "help you a little bit" in your search. That's honestly creepy as fuck if that's what you told them you wanted.

[Asker]

why would it be creepy if i told women i knew in real life that i'd be interested in dating someone? a lot of the time women like to help out people they knew and don't mind helping people out a bit who are struggling with dating ,

but i never like told them this more as i told you already , i'd sort of sit there by myself and they never really seemed to want to do much.

i just didn't like the way i was treated , one example for some reason they created this list of all the servers names and a shot on a wall there so last summer it had like 20 names maybe. all summer NOT 1 of those girls there would do a shot with me , it was beyond cruel like sick and twisted that i had to sit there looking at this stuiped wall of shots all summer and not one of them would even do one with me. like what was it even there for? it was like cruel and twisted and why would it even matter if they did a shot at the bar with me? there servers and some were like alcoholics , they likely wouldn't of even remembered doing it by now. sure they don't have to do one with me , there choice but like why would it have even mattered to them , it seems so off to go all out to prevent me from enjoying doing a shot at the bar with someone who worked there

[_Maya_]

Here is the thing. When I'm busy, I'm busy. I don't have time for small talk. My boss wouldn't like it if I was just chatting away and not fixing drinks.

Now if it is slow then I don't mind talking with the patrons. As far as helping you out, I typically don't do that for the privacy of other customers.

I'll give an example. Some girl is sitting at the bar and says to me hey do you know the hot guy at the end if the bar? Even if he is a regular I do not get myself involved and go down to him and say "see that girl, she's sweet on you". That's because it's not my place to play matchmaker and the dude might not want to be bothered. He may have a girlfriend. Bad practice for me to do that. Basically not my pig, not my farm.

The ONLY thing I will do is send a drink someone bought for someone else. That I will do because that's money in my pocket.

So the thing is that they are going to be reluctant. Plus, while it is inevitable I get hit on tens of times a night and can't control that I can control flirting back. Bosses don't want us to play favorites because it's a turn off to others that wanna shoot their shot with me.

I know it sounds stupid but the appearance of a chance with me or the other girls puts butts in seats. It is why my girlfriend doesn't come where I work once we were a thing.

Tips are better when people think I am single. I'm not going to self sabotage.

[Asker]

@_Maya_ usually i'd try talking to them when it was slow or if i was ordering something. was lots of slower periods and thats when i'd usually try and talk to them. most seemed ok when i talked to them about stuff there. i wouldn't really get deep into personal stuff most of the time

i get that maybe they didn't want to get involved cause maybe they'd be worried how things would turn out. things can sometimes get awkward at bars , you buy someone a drink and that is often the easy part , sometimes things get weird afterwords or person decides they don't really like you or something right. they like don't want to get blamed for recommending me to some random girl there and being unsure how it might go down

[_Maya_]

Yes now you sorta get it. For the girls, just like me, it's all business. I'm there for money. I know how to get tips. That's my focus. So don't feel bad. They aren't trying to hurt you or make you feel bad.

So don't get mad if they aren't falling all over you, especially if you are a somewhat regular which you sorta indicated. They are going to focus on newbies and getting them to come back.

That's just good business for them. I do the same. My regulars don't complain because I still take care of them. They just might not get "the look" I'll give a newbie.

I want maximum return on my time and efforts ya know?

[BoopBoopBeep]

For the same reason I don't ask the baker to. Its not her job and it makes me sound creepy.

[Asker]

forgot to mention some of the girls there had done shots with me before , would of occured summer 2021 into 2022 , then it like stopped dead and they wouldn't do one with me anymore and no one there every explained to me why

i just recall the one girl saying she didn't want to do a shot with me anymore and that was it , never done another shot with her or her girlfriend's since and no one there has ever said why

i mean why would it matter if i did a shot with her or her girlfriend's there just servers there and some of the shots we did back in 21-22 were when they were off work there anyways

so yeah it was really weird , another reason place gives me a weird vibe , who does shots with someone and totally ok with it then suddenly its over and never does one again

i always suspected someone who works there and has authority over them told them not to do any with me again, had to be manager or owner? right who else could over that

[BoopBoopBeep]

Right. When it's at the point where she's saying no, and NOT following through with an answer, it's you, not them. If management said no more shots because you're giving HIM all the attention and it looks like you're playing favorites, they still would have told you. She said no because she didn't want to, quite possibly because of your take on her responsibility to "help you find love" or because you thinks it's "cruel and twisted" that there's a wall of shots on the bar because you're somehow owed the experience of doing shots with them. Everything isn't some struggle to persecute you. When you act like it is, you come off as creepy. When you don't let things go, you come off as creepy. As the past 2 weeks has shown, you're not very good at letting things go. Women pick up on that. It scares them. As a result, the one that didn't want to do a shot with you tells the others that you creep her out, and now none of them want to do a shot with you. You also seem to be the type of person that would be really persistent about it. You ask once. Not once per night. Once. If she says no just because she's busy, when she's not busy she'll come back and say "hey i'm free now, still wanna do that shot?" If she says no because of a million other reasons she may not want to do a shot with you, she doesn't owe you an explanation of why that is. Nobody does. People feel as they feel and they're allowed to do so, and we can't mandate that they tell us WHY they feel that way. Usually we just never know.

[BoopBoopBeep]

It's not "suddenly over" it's over because you obsess about things that A) are inconsequential to anything that matters in life. They're dealing with family issue, boy/girlfriend issues, tuition/school issues, health issues, a million other things. If I have all that going on, i don't give a shite about your shot and things that B) wouldn't cause anyone else to think about more than 15 minutes, IF that, maybe an hour if they're having a bad day, and C) emotions are contagious. If you setting there in a bad mood because they didn't do a shot with you tongiht, or last weekend, or whenever you asked, that negative energy is contagious. People are the same as animals in that we can smell pheremonal changes that come with emotions. Not to the extent a cat or dog can, sure and we may not be aware of it, but you let the dog sniff your hand to show you aren't a threat. People can't do that, but they can pick up on the "vibes" they get from someone that says "stay away" because... your dog died? Your wife is leaving you? You got fired? I don't know. I may never know why. But I know today ain't the day, so I'm giving you a wide berth. You have to be willing to give that to people. And you have to be mature enough to accept you may not know why , you may never know why.

I will say if you ever talked to them about their hiring practices the same way you talk to us then there is zero surprise they want nothing to do with you.

[Asker]

would note the first time i did a shot with that girl who works there back in 2021 at the end summer she asked me to do a shot with her.

so she was the one who started the whole thing with us doing shots there , i didn't like ask her when she was working. she asked me one night when she was there off work and with friends around the end of summer that year

i honestly do not recall a reason ever being given by her or the other girls why they did not want to do a shot with me. it was just like i don't want to do shots anymore with you and never done one since

the last time i did a shot with anyone at that bar was July of last year , was a girl who was working here for the summer at a camp, also did one in June with a girl who works at another restaurant

but didn't do any shots last summer with any of the girls who worked there , other than maybe a group one when someone bought shots for everyone at bar or nearby and i got one from server

[Asker]

@_Maya_ as a young women who works in a restaurant , want your honest opinion , not sure if you've read everything i've said about this place or its owner

would you honestly be comfortable working for an unmarried 50's year old man who only hired hot women 18-25 who had hot bodies.

who also followed hot girl and pages linked to only fans on his instagram page which also oddly does not even show a single clear picture of himself?

despite owning a business and a house on the water plus a nice car is not married , shouldn't he be dating someone his own age like a single divorce or something , why he is so worried about the physical appearance of the servers he hires at this restaurant?

like would you honestly be ok with this situation if you made good money there , there'd be nothing that would cause you to think gee maybe he just wants us around cause were hot , maybe its not even about the money for him, to you honestly believe business would crash at his restaurant if the servers were not all hot? the chain restaurant up the road is busy everyday and its bartenders are men and barely any hot women work there

[Asker]

note i still have not been back to that bar so been like 2 months since i was physically inside that bar , actually feels good to have not been there for a while and to have moved on to other things but want to share an odd story from last night with you

i was downtown and near this bar at a pizza spot getting a slice and saw 2 younger guys like early 20's never seen them before maybe from out of town and they walked in the bar /restaurant we've been talking about

but like a minute or 2 later they like walked out and left and didn't have take out or anything with them weren't carrying anything. they just like walked in and then left just as soon. like how bad does a bar/restaurant have to be for 2 young men/potential customers to just walk out and leave?

like is it really that bad? was it that slow and empty in there on a Friday they just decided to walk out and not even stay for 2 drink?

either way should be a serious red flag wake up call to owner /manager that something terribly wrong here if potential customers would walk in and walk out seemingly deciding there was not even any point in staying at all and this happened on a Friday night when it used to be busy there

[BoopBoopBeep]

Nope. No red flag. That happens all the time. People come in and ask a question like "how late are you open" and leave. Or is Rhonda working today? Or 100 other things. Still no red flag. Other than your behavior. You are giving off tons of red flags. There are no red flags with this establishment. I've tried to tell you that. @_Maya_, who is also in the same industry, age group, and hotness level has told you that there's no red flags here. Literally nobody finds this weird but you. Why are you obsessing over this?

[Asker]

well usually when someone walks in a bar they want to stay and order a drink or something.

perhaps those guys were scouting out different bars downtown to try and see if there was any girls maybe. but not really many girls there age around here in march as there all away at school.

i've gone in bars before and just left before but not very often and if i did just leave usually cause i felt there was no point staying or place not worth my time. so sensed maybe they left for a similar reason , they walked in and though place boring or was obviously nothing going on that night , it appeared to be a very quiet night downtown

[BoopBoopBeep]

Dude you need help. You're obsessing about this bar. You're making shite creepy that you've had multiple people in the service industry say "nope that's normal" but you're still obsessed that you are right and the people that do this for a living are wrong. That doesn't seem the least bit off to you?

[Asker]

i doubt if i showed that help wanted add to people i know at other seasonal restaurants they would actually say it was normal for a restaurant to NOT be looking for servers especially a seasonal one. as its been months since some of those girls from last summer even worked there doubtful all are coming back so how is he finding new servers.

that add is a huge red flag , how can a restaurant not be looking for servers? and even if they were full now why are they not at least accepting resumes incase someone leaves and is openings? it seems so off , pretty much every other restaurant here posts help wanted ads looking for servers especially for busier summer season

i'm been in that place enough times to know something is not normal about it , not saying you would find anything off about it if you were to walk in and have a beer , but you haven't experienced the kind of things i have there over the years.

its also desperately trying to change things up , like last week did some sort of small reno ( haven't been inside to see what actually changed it anything ) also changed logo on instagram page as well but none of this really matters to people here its got such a weird reputation now and its hot spot days are long over

[Asker]

post # 2 you don't think its at least " possible " that the reason owner is not posting ads looking for servers

is cause he only wants to hire hot girls ( 18-25 ) and so he cannot post an add looking for servers for which anyone could apply cause obviously he'd reject anyone not within in realm of hotness and worried there going to file a human rights complaint against him?

legally here an employer cannot post a help wanted add online that only 1 sex can apply to so he's have to allow men to apply but he doesn't hire male bartenders so he doesn't want there resumes , which might explain why he's claiming he is not looking

my guess is his lawyer told him his only possible legal defense if a gay or trans server were to file a complaint that he didn't consider there resume was to claim he wasn't looking for servers , so he couldn't consider there resume cause he wasn't hiring

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'm sure he only wants hot girls 18-25. I also find nothing wrong with that.

None of that matters.

Why do you care?

There's a reason I keep getting DMs about how sketch you are.

Whatever he's doing... it's none of your concern. They're happier with you gone. You'd be happier about being gone if you would just let it drop and move on instead of focusing on something that isn't the utopia you imagined it to be. Everybody would win.

Legally the "consideration" i have to give your resume stops after I accept it. Past that, there's always a reason to hire one person that I want over the other. It's not like a real profession where you can say "I'm the top brain surgeon in the country why wouldn't they hire me" and there are objective metrics to compare like "number of brain surgeries performed" or "patients cured through surgery." It's waiting tables dude. The whole job is subjective.

Do you REALLY wonder why they didn't want to do shots with you at this point?

[Asker]

well its not odd that girls that age would want to work at a restaurant as a server as a summer job , that would be fairly common for that age and students.

but you don't find it odd that a single 50 year old man is seemingly obsessed with only hiring 18-25 year olds with hot bodies to work at his restaurant? that isn't give you any odd feelings or vibes?

he's fortunate is rather difficult and complex to file a human rights complaint here , you have to go to website and fill out long forms and provide documentation to back up claim. which might explain why no one yet has complained against his hiring practices. as i'd imagine someone dropping off 1 resume would not be good enough to convict him of a human rights violation , they'd need more proof and would have to have more interactions with him to prove he didn't want to hire them cause they were... single mom? gay man? over 40 women? , minority south Asian? who ever he doesn't seem to want working there

i don't really miss place much if at all , on Saturday went to a country bar in another city, actually managed to buy a girl a drink this night , she was pretty attractive too blonde , younger than me. doubtful i would of bought a girl a shot at that bar in hometown on such a quiet weekend place like a ghost town Friday night

yeah i like blonde white girls but owner has a duty as owner of a business to be held to a higher standard and needs to leave his personal preferences out of the hiring process and follow the rules , discrimination isn't just wrong its illegal here

[Asker]

post # 2
forgot to mention cause it happened a couple summers ago , once he did try and hire an Asian girl as a server , would of been 2022 , but she wasn't like pure Asian but somewhat Asian and she only stayed like a couple weeks and quit to work at a chain restaurant instead. you don't think that maybe she quit cause she felt she didn't fit in working with a bunch of hot white girls?

what i also can't figure out is how did he get the girls on his side? considering all the obvious human rights violations and discrimination taking place there around hiring of staff

these girls are like progressive students the college / university educated type , how did he get them on board with something so messed up and obviously discriminatory.

did he like tell them if he was forced to hire men or minorities he'd need less white girls so some would be out of shifts and job? also read about the concept of " group think " where groups of people at work sometimes make wrong decisions as a group due to various reasons , could be some of that going on there

but how did he get a bunch of progressive students on board with this , these were type of people who participated in BLM protests and support gay rights yet there seeming ok with what he's doing cause he pays them well? suddenly when money is involved they don't care about there causes anymore?

[BoopBoopBeep]

"but you don't find it odd that a single 50 year old man is seemingly obsessed with only hiring 18-25 year olds with hot bodies to work at his restaurant? that isn't give you any odd feelings or vibes?"

No, for the hundredth time. I find nothing with that. Neither did Maya. In fact, that is precisely who he SHOULD be hiring, to the exclusion of all others. I said I would do the same. Maya said she would do the same. We've both worked in the service industry. I did the exact same thing. There is nothing weird here other than your obsession.

Ugly is not a protected class. To claim discrimination you have to show that you, the ugly chick, are more qualified than all the hot women I hired are qualified. It's serving, not rocket science, you cannot prove that. If you could an attorney, any attorney, who is infinitely more capable of understanding the law than you are, would have already done so. They haven't, because being a member of the bar typically means you are not an imbecile, so they see that clearly there is no case here.

Regardless, why do YOU care? He can be the biggest human rights violator in the world (which is actually the type of law enforcement I'm currently employed in), and it would have nothing whatsoever to do with you. From now until the stars burn out he can hire nothing but large breasted blonde women between 5'2" and 5"4" and it STILL would not be illegal.

Give it up champ. You're just wrong.

[Asker]

true that looks / appearance are not a protected reason

but is some that are like - sex , family status , country of origin/ethnicity , age , gender identity

he doesn't hire men , so if a gay man were to apply there and he rejected application cause he doesn't hire men is that not discriminatory

same for a single mom , if one applied and he didn't want her there cause he doesn't hire single moms but family status is a prohibited ground of discrimination so she might have a case

age? why is he so obsessed with younger women , a lot of the customers there were actually older like 50's - 60's i doubt they'd have any issue with an older server 30 plus at all.

its him that has the issue and fixated on younger women with big boobs not the customer base , age is also a prohibited reason for not hiring someone here

[BoopBoopBeep]

This is where your understanding of the law is lacking. I've already addressed this. You would have to have two individuals apply, the more qualified version being the non-pretty-white-girl, and you are DEMONSTRABLY MORE QUALIFIED

[BoopBoopBeep]

Ugh premature send...

You would have to have the other chick be DEMONSTRABLY MORE QUALIFIED than the pretty white chick, and still not get the job. THERE IS NO GAY man who is demonstrably more qualified to be a waiter, because that is not a job that requires ANY DEMONSTRABLE QUALIFICATIONS.

It's not a crime. Nobody thinks it is but you. The guy who clearly didn't go to law school.

Even if he was murdering babies in the basement... got nothing to do with you. Quit being such a stalker or YOU are the one that is going to have legal troubles. If you were in the U. S. you'd be locked up already.

[Asker]

prohibited grounds of discrimination ( from google )

The grounds are: citizenship, race, place of origin, ethnic origin, colour, ancestry, disability, age, creed, sex/pregnancy, family status, marital status, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, receipt of public assistance (in housing) and record of offences (in employment).

you telling me by only hiring hot white girls 18-25 you don't think he's violated anyone else's rights in the process?

seems pretty clear legally to me , an employer cannot discriminate someone for the above reasons yet he won't hire single moms , men , older women , minorities

all of which are prohibited reasons to disqualify someone for employment

its like he doesn't care he is even doing this and somehow he got a bunch of progressive college educated young women to agree with him cause he's signing the pay cheques so crazy , i wonder how much he is paying them to work there it must be a lot more than we realise for them to sell out there actual values in life for this fool

[BoopBoopBeep]

you telling me by only hiring hot white girls 18-25 you don't think he's violated anyone else's rights in the process?

No. No I don't. As someone in law enforcement from a family of lawyers, no I do not, because that would mean that someone who is DEMONSTRABLY MORE QUALIFIED to get the job was passed up on. What is a demonstrably more qualified waitress? It's literally a job that a roomba could do. Maybe not do it well, but there's a cafe where the waiters are all dogs.

(https://www. pointsincase. com/articles/welcome-to-bone-and-kibble-the-first-restaurant-with-dog-waiters).

He doesn't care he's doing it. I don't care he's doing it. Nobody else in your community cares he's doing it. I did it at my restaurant before I changed careers, I can think of 50 other restaurants I've been in across at least a dozen countries (including Canada) that have done it as well and nobody cared there either.

Why do you care? Did he not hire you 2 years ago and you're still butthurt about it? Bro it's time to move on. Nothing is wrong with anything going on here except your stalking this bar.

Go tell the cops if you're so concerned, and that way when they go out to drink after their shift they'll have something they can have a good laugh about.

[Asker]

other people around here have mentioned this place to me , i recall a weird convo at a chain restaurant last summer when the male bartender mentioned to me " a lot of hot girls " work there and i was sort of like hard to believe there was that many in this town. so others are aware and taking note of that place

i've been to the other summer time hot spots around this area , is a couple restaurants around 30 minutes away in another tourist town. but there staff is more like " jersey shore " a party crowd mix of guys/girls 18-25 but guys and girls not all girls like place i keep talking about. those places a mixed party crowd , they like work and party the rest of the summer.

but this place its honestly like a teen girl slumber party some nights , when i was sitting at bar by myself and 3 or 4 girls behind bar , the vibe is completely different from those other spots. i actually think the vibe would be much better if he hired some guys to mix things up and it was more like the other summer hot spots , more of a party crowd than this girly extremely feminine thing he has going on

i also don't believe he did this as a business decision , it was clearly his personal preference to hire all these hot girls , other restaurants operate just fine with mixed guys/girls staff and make money. and to do this in a small town is just crazy , the girls must endure so many awkward encounters outside the bar , i bet they can't go anywhere in this town without people recognizing them from restaurant.

[BoopBoopBeep]

So it's all teen girl slumber party. Fine. Does not concern you. Why do you care? Stop stalking these poor girls and leave them alone. Go on with your life. Think of something else. Go get a hobby that is NOT stalking this bar.

If it's his personal decision, good on him. He can do that.

If all the girls hated it so much they'd leave, but I hate to break it to you, they DON'T HATE IT.

It's probably a really nice place to work, and since you creeped them all out and you don't go there anymore, I'm sure they like it a lot more.

[Asker]

though i'd update you on things at this restaurant , its almost summer so i decided to go back in a couple times and the situation is actually worse than anything i could of envisioned earlier when we first talked.

insanely short staffed for the lead up to summer , like there missing so many servers from 2023 its crazy like more than a dozen and not 1 single new hire. there plan try and train 4 of the girls who were hosts last summer into servers but there only 18 and don't have any skills at serving

and no one who works there even seems to know who is back or not , ( note i haven't been asking about specific girls or this issue ) just my sense in listening to them talk to each other about who is back or not, even the senior servers do not seem to know who is back or not

and one of the girls who left for a new job in real estate is still there part time the odd shift and she's said there like calling her up desperately trying to get her to come back in at night after she's done her other job

but i actually don't think its a red flag that they lost some staff from last year , that happens at all restaurants. the red flag is owner is not actively seeking new staff and posted an add to social media a couple months ago claiming to not need servers. how does a restaurant that lost like a dozen servers not need new staff?

this does not even make any sense on any level , its entering the realm of bizarre and i'm genuinely concerned for the staff who still work there as to how this place is going to make it through the summer rush with so few servers

[Asker]

part 2 i'm certain its missing that many servers or more cause i have a good memory and was in there like everyday last summer so knew like every girl who worked there to see them.

and on my visits 4 or 5 times its always been the same group of girls , and no sign of the missing ones. and one girl who was in school for nursing and one of the main bartenders when i talked to her 2 weeks ago she told me she was not back this summer and working at a hospital instead.

you mentioned if they hated it so much they'd quit well it seems like a whole bunch have quit or moved on to other careers.

and the owner still refuses to hire minorities , men , queers. he'd rather be shorted staffed and run the existing staff into the ground than hire someone he doesn't feel makes an idea server or not sexually attractive enough to him to work there. this guy is sick and needs mental help , i like women and yes his restaurant has been fortunate to have hired some great women as servers but the insanity needs to stop , no one is not going to go there if he hires some male bartenders

this place seriously needs outside intervention , i don't even know how its going to make it through the long weekend without a major break down , i wouldn't be surpised at all if things completely far apart , i'm hoping for the best but prepared for the worst

[BoopBoopBeep]

Bro... you're obsessing over a restaurant that isn't yours. The only person here needing mental help is you. This isn't healthy. Please see someone. You deserve it.

[Asker]

i was just looking for answers as to what was going on there. seriously something weird going on there with the servers , as a customer i've meet a lot of the staff there over the years , so of course i'm going to notice if someone who was always there is suddenly gone.

the owner is the one who needs help , i just went there today to have a beer and chat with the blonde bartender , and curious who was back for the summer but quickly realised a lot of the people i knew from before are no where to be seen. but not really odd restaurant staff come and go all the time

whats odd is owner didn't plan in advance for when these girls aged out of serving and wanted real jobs , its like he though they'd work there forever but they had other plans and now he has one hell of a mess on his hands , going to be a lot of upset customers this weekend , trust me none of them care if server is hot or not. they just want to get food and drinks on time and that ain't happening if place short staffed. he was more worried about hiring a bunch of hot chicks than being worried about the long term viability of his restaurant

[Asker]

true i'm not in charge of human resources here , but if i was the first thing i would do is post a help wanted ad , wouldn't that be the most obvious way to find some new staff for the summer?

the question is why is the owner unwilling to do that? never heard of a restaurant short staffed that was unwilling to post anything or request resumes be dropped off.

there not even asking for resumes despite obviously needing help , the one who needs help is them , whatever is going on here is messed up , perhaps even more messed up than i even envisioned earlier this year

[BoopBoopBeep]

Nope. Nothing weird going on. You've had two different people who work in the industry say that. Only thing weird is you.

"its like he though they'd work there forever but they had other plans and now he has one hell of a mess on his hands , going to be a lot of upset customers this weekend"

Don't care. Not my place. You shouldn't care either.

"the question is why is the owner unwilling to do that? never heard of a restaurant short staffed that was unwilling to post anything or request resumes be dropped off."

They are probably afraid you'd apply since you give off such crazy stalker vibes. There have been five different women that have messaged me about this message thread asking what's wrong with you or asking who there you plan on killing. Guess I'll read about you in the news one day. Or not, since even afterwards nobody is going to care about that restaurant except you.

[Asker]

i don't think its weird that some of the girls who worked there in 2023 don't work there anymore , restaurants are known for staff turnover and at summer hot spots its common for people to work 1 summer than disappear.

but its weird owner is not actively hiring new staff , been in a few times and not 1 single new hire , just same people who worked there before i went on that break.

they also made that weird post to social media claiming to only be hiring hosts and kitchen staff. yet now a couple months later its coming to light there actually really short of servers.

so why did they post that ad claiming to not need servers , that is truly bizarre and without many answers

i do hope i'm wrong and some of there summer students / staff re appear in the coming days and weeks cause otherwise there in for a very rough few months. like if its so bad assistant manager is calling that girl who left for real estate to come back in at night, it seems really dire and could be a daily struggle all summer to keep it staffed each day at proper levels

[Asker]

you honestly don't think there is anything off about this restaurant?

not at all a red flag that so many of his servers from 2023 have bailed this summer? despite being a popular restaurant on the water in a busy summer area.

also considering the economy and inflation you think he'd have people lining up out the door with resumes wanting to work there as it pays so exceptionally well for a summer serving job. like the girls who worked there in the past made a lot of money yet even the exceptional pay was not reason enough to stay 1 more summer

they'd rather work anywhere else but here , this to me something is really off about this place , it has to be his " concept " the idea of only hiring hot women in a small town most of which already had boyfriend's and expecting them to serve local men and talk to them on a regular basis and develop friendships with them. his concept was just so toxic and unrealistic in reality

i'm honestly wondering if it even survives the long weekend without a major breakdown of service or major incident. last May long weekend they almost got charged for over crowding , had no bouncer on and it was raining the Friday night so patio closed and people kept walking inside until it was like packed like sardines , it was so over capacity it was crazy , police gave them a warning but were never charged or got in trouble

[BoopBoopBeep]

Bro. No. I don't. Maya said she didn't either. Nothing off about it. A lot off about your fixation on it. Tons off there. Nothing off about the restaurant, and unless they're human trafficking waitress and sacrificing them to the dark lord on the town square, not your concern.

They're doing so poorly they're packed in like sardines. Listen to what you're saying.

Waitress expected to serve local men! Oh aghast! That... is exactly what waitresses do. Then they flirt them up for extra tips. The guys don't think they're about to get proposed to. Literally the whole of society has figured this out. Tips go up the friendlier you get.

Still nothing weird here, just like the dozen other times you asked.

[Asker]

was packed last May long weekend , it was just really busy that 1 night , been other nights since when it was not busy at all. it had a very slow fall / winter / spring.

i didn't think the girls serving and talking to men was that much of an issue but a lot of the boyfriends seemed to take issue with me doing this there despite it being part of there job. a lot seemed overly jealous and insecure about there relationship.

haven't been near the place yet today so not sure what is going on there , i actually hope more of the summer staff returns and my numbers wrong about who is back or not but it does seem there missing a lot of familiar faces from last year. so will see if any are back this weekend or not but its already mid may and normally there fully staffed by now and operating as normal before summer rush , i've never seen it under staffed rate before summer before , very off and odd for that place

[BoopBoopBeep]

Then a lot of their boyfriends were insecure sissies. What's that got to do with the price of tea in China?

[Asker]

some of the boyfriend's played hockey yet still seemed to be insecure , the one maybe he sensed they had been together too long and she was bored , (dated since high school )

oddly enough it seems to have survived the long weekend although i left early Saturday so don't know what Saturday night was like and didn't go in at all on Sunday or today.

when i was there Saturday afternoon some of the missing veterans were in , they must of convinced them to work the long weekend , also 2 of the hostess trainees were working which was kind of odd for a long weekend bar night. was also no manager or owner present on Saturday afternoon and girls seemed to be pulling it together themselves , the 1 hostess was like energizer bunny , cleaning tables , greeting staff , seating them and all without anyone telling her what to do

but still a lot of missing staff from 2023 and no sign of any new hires , so not entirely clear who is working here this summer , this place can be busy even on a weekday during summer so just having access to extra staff on weekends not enough to get through it

and bar nights still seem to really need a boost or revamp , like Friday night was not even busy by long weekend standards like i've seen that place packed in years past , it looked like an average summer night with nothing special going on , there wasn't even live music although was a band on Saturday

[BoopBoopBeep]

So he's a sissy that plays hockey. That changes nothing.

"Oddly enough" to literally nobody buy you, hoss.

You're keeping tabs on the staffing levels. You're really toeing the line with stalking at this point dude. Careful.

[Asker]

just noticed that some of the people from before were not around anymore , at least not very often or some entirely not around. i realise it happens in the restaurant industry , staff come and go. but at this place after end of 2023 it seemed to have really turned over a lot and doesn't seem like they have a plan forward

and if they lose more staff at the end of this summer , going to be even more short staffed. the age of there servers a lot of nearing graduation and perhaps looking for actual careers sooner rather than later

[BoopBoopBeep]

If they lose ALL of the staff, more staff will replace them. It's serving at some tourist trap local dive not brain surgery there is always a replacement around the corner. And if they lose more staff, why do you care? It isn't your restaurant. It's not your concern. It's not your business. Bro you are obsessed on a very unhealthy level with this place and you're coming off really creepy-stalker-vibe about it.

[Anonymous]

People who are "triggered" and talk about "red flags" all the time are the problem with our society.

[Asker]

well been to a lot of bars over the years and not often triggered or have " red flags " when there.

its just this place has been getting weird and felt something not right but couldn't seem to figure out exactly. the situation just was bad , maybe i should refer to it as a bad experience and just move on

[Anonymous]

Yes of course it's a scam, it was entirely created to see how we would deal with a worldwide shutdown, so next time they'll know how to do it to us for real.

[DryGermanGuy]

Yawn. 🙄

[Anonymous]

You should listen to your gut.. obviously you’re well known and give off some creeping vibe.

[Asker]

i haven't physically been in that place since Jan 5 , i agree something about that specific location has been causing problems for me and its best to not be there for the time being.

i don't plan on going back there anytime soon either until i feel better about things

[Asker]

no one that works there has ever told me that i've made people there feel uncomfortable or that i was not welcome in the business.

but i agree its possible something along that line was occurring , that i was well known there and people didn't like me always being there for some reason?

to play it safe , think its best to just not be in that place for the next little while , just to let things clear and give me a chance to move on with my life somewhere else

[_Maya_]

I've said what I've said. It tskes more finger strokes to scroll this mess than get off. I'm out. Post muted.