What if You Learned Something from your Ex to the Affect that your Red Flag had Possibly been Right All Along?

[Paris13]

**Would you Still Continue to Talk to Him/Her or just Distance Yourself Totally? xx

[Nigjt]

Well that depends on how bad it is.
If it is a total red flag or even three quarters of the way yes that is ground for breaking up and getting the hell away from them.
If it is just 25% that would be something that I will have to talk to them about.
If it is 50%, I don't care I'm going to talk to them about it and see what their reaction is then depending on that situation I just might still break up with him but at 50%, I might give them a chance but they would be in for a serious serious punishment and not only of the sexual kind.
God Bless

[Paris13]

It was a Red Flag from the Start with other Similar Things. I should Run, hun. xx

[Nigjt]

Well since u put it like that Hell yes Please do run as fast as u can go an Pretty Please safe as possible.
God Bless

[Paris13]

God Bless YOU. xx

[Nigjt]

Thank u Paris13 .
Do u follow me? Please if not maybe u might want to Please
God Bless

[Paris13]

Lord says YES, We Following Here. lol Thanks so much. xx

[Nigjt]

Ok thank u very much.
God Bless

[OlderAndWiser]

Paris, can you give us more details? Feel free to DM me if you would prefer.

[Paris13]

I cannot Give More Here But will DM maybe Tomorrow, sir. Thanks so much. xx

[Paris13]

@OlderAndWiser Thank You so Much. Still Talking but He seemed to Be Thankful Yesterday at all of MY TRUTHFUL VENTING. It left me Thinking he Does have Issues but happy on my own End, I don't Have to be Involved. xxoo

[OlderAndWiser]

It is always my pleasure to talk with you!

[Leapfrog00]

5 years ago, I would have said yes. I almost got married once. She did really nice things for me, cared about me, helped take care of me when I was sick, and always remembered my birthday, BUT, and there's a BIG BUT, she was also controlling, possessive, got jealous when I talked to any other girls (And I mean ANY other girls. Even if it was asking the waitress the soup of the day!), and she would cheat on me constantly, and leave all kinds of clues behind.

The day we were going to get married, she left me at the church, and I feel it was my fault because all the red flags were there, but I loved her so much, and I just couldn't be without her because I only focused on the positive, like all the nice things she did for me.

Now about talking to her afterward, I still hooked up with her for sex and we still talked, but it was all a mistake, so no, I learned still talking to an ex after learning all those things may cause more problems than what's already there.

The reason I was still hooking up for sex is because I didn't think I could do better than her. A cheater and a narcissist. If I would have left her when I should have, I would not have gotten stood up at my wedding and I wouldn't have kept believing I couldn't do any better than her.

[Paris13]

How Horrible. xx

[KingslayerC]

Completely depends on if we have kids or not. My ex-gf and I will always stay in touch because of our kid. And my wife and I will always stay in touch for the same reason. Doesn't matter how much time has passed or how bad of a person they are. Hell, my ex was flat out violent and psychotic (I could tell a thousand stories, literally), but our kid will always keep us connected.

With no kids in the picture, I refuse to stay in touch with any ex, ever. The most they would get is a half smile and a white-guy head nod while I walked by them. This is out of respect for my wife. Pretty much every ex of mine is still willing to sleep with me (and same goes for any male ex of any woman) so there's no point in having that kind of thing around.

[Paris13]

lol I have a Few Exes still around. xx

[KingslayerC]

Lmao all you ladies do 😂 No disrespect meant, I promise. I just know the game though.

What's absolutely crazy to me is how many married women would still sleep with me. I'll never fully understand that part of it. Maybe you have some wisdom on the topic?

[Zebrina]

How do you manage to keep the peace with kids by both your ex and current wife? Especially when your ex still wants to sleep with you and is psychotic?
That seems like it would cause some drama.

[KingslayerC]

@Zebrina first and foremost, I would never mention any of the drunk/horny messages my ex has sent me. I'm a massive fan of honesty, but there are situations that can bring 1,000x more bad than good, and this is one of them. Second, and I know it's petty af, I shit talk my ex (about real stuff) and never say anything in her defense. Never around my son, of course. He has to respect his mom, despite the way she treats him. He can resent her when he's older... The final thing is mostly about keeping them separated. As much as I would love to have everyone in the same place for holidays, it ain't happening. My ex would ruin every holiday when we were together and I couldn't even bring her around my family events, so there's zero chance we could have bdays or Christmases with everyone together. Even drop offs and pickups, I won't let me wife be around my ex.

Also, my son just knows not to tell about his mom around my wife. That kind of thing never helps.

[Zebrina]

It sounds like you have a blind spot for red flags. Ha ha.
I agree, no need to upset your spouse, but I would be careful because hiding it will make you look guilty. I know that from experience.

But best of luck to ya. Hopefully one day your ex and wife can get along and do what's best for the children.

[KingslayerC]

@Zebrina blind spot is an understatement... lol. And I know you're right about the secrets.

But thank you for the kind words! Hoping so too.

[LostandFound__x]

If you feel like they're not investing all their romantic energy into you, it's because you are sharing it with someone else.

For instance - if you're in a relationship and he doesn't call you often, compliment you, flirt with you, see you etc etc. It's because there's another woman.

In my first serious relationship I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought it was just his personality. I let the shit show go on for 8 months. Then I found out he was seeing another girl the entire time.

It explained everything and now I will never ever ever be committed to a guy who says he's committed to me, but doesn't act like it.

[LostandFound__x]

I've also been with guys who do the opposite by the way.

[Paris13]

LDR and I broke it Off... lolxx

[LostandFound__x]

Awww I’m sorry! LDRs are never easy xx

[Gent207-2]

There were so many red flags with my previous ex that it'd nauseating to me to think of how much I ignored.

But that's what happened when you have your first gigity. I think it was truly God's sense of humor that I attempted to buy her an engagement ring 3x and each one failed for a different reason, nothing to do with money. Even more humorous was that my own grandmother didn't like her and that woman loves EVERYONE it just goes to show mother knows

[Paris13]

Exactly. xx

[Anne_02]

I've never dated anyone but maybe I can answer a bit based on people stories, such as their partner limiting who they interact with, lying, lack of respect for each other's personal space, trying to monitor or control their social media accounts, jealousy, and wanting to be prioritised and appreciated without doing the same to appreciate and prioritise their partner.

[Paris13]

That tis a Good One. xx

[exitseven]

I was dumped by somebody that really broke my heart. I was hurt and angry and blamed it all on her. years later I was able to see that I was really not too much fun to be around. I was dealing with a lot and was very negative about just about everything.

[Paris13]

This is Different. Believe me. I dumped Him but I had Reasons... xx

[exitseven]

I beleive it Paris.

[Paris13]

@exitseven Thank you. xx

[humanearth]

I still talk to my ex even after 35 years apart.

We had kid with disability, so every once in while we talk to help plan his future without us

[Paris13]

Yes, I know. xx

[humanearth]

Sometimes you have no choice

[KingslayerC]

Having a kid together, especially with a mental/medical condition, to me is a permanent connection. Even if you hate the person. Totally understandable to stay in touch forever.

[ariadneR]

Jesus I don't know there's so many.

Other girls calling him, but he had them under his families names

When I visited him, him leaving me right away to go somewhere else

[Paris13]

Nothing like This... lolxx

[19magic]

An ex is an ex because of a reason just because a time was good doesn't mean the bad shit wasn't there

[Paris13]

Oh, It was Toxic and Smelly at Times. lolxx

[Anonymous]

I never had an ex. I learned from my older sister's ex certain red flags. He identified as a male feminist, he was a complete creep. Now when I meet these male feminist types warning bells ring.

[Paris13]

Good Idea. xx

[DizzyDesii]

I tend to tear down red flags as i see them 🤣 So i wouldn't even remember what i was initially thinking

[Paris13]

I see. xx

[Mark987]

I had a woman I was seeing.. she ended up having sex with a friend of mine. I ended up being friends with her after, but even till this day I got over it but in the back of my mind... I still hold a grudge

[Paris13]

I can Understand that. xx

[VivienChan]

There is no point to learn from EX and I don't have too much EX, hahahaha

[Paris13]

lol Welcome to Gag Town and Best of Luck... Learn mean INFO. lolxx

[gothbxtch]

depending on what it was, it would probably be better for me to distance myself! good question, though. interesting!!!

[Paris13]

Thank You, @gothbxtch May Be Beneficial to Others... xx

[gothbxtch]

mhm!

[Sixgunsound]

Once someone becomes an ex that should be the end of any communication for any reason.

[Paris13]

In some Cases, This One? Perhaps Yes. xx

[RealMarek]

Generally speaking, I would not be speaking with an ex who wronged me.

[Paris13]

Thanks. xx

[RealMarek]

You’re welcome. I’ve gone through it before. I wish you well.

[es20490446e]

My rule is:

If I won't do it myself, why shall I allow it?

[Paris13]

Wow! xx

[es20490446e]

Ou yeah! :P :P

[RHK36]

I don't dwell in the past, so it doesn't change my present. I would have already moved on.

[Paris13]

Thanks! xx

[LemiaOfThunder]

She would always go back to her ex after breaking up with me.

[Paris13]

Yikes. xx

[Christoff92]

Sure. That the relationship didn't work doesn't mean can't be friends

[Paris13]

Not Starting Off Well. lolxx