What if You Learned Something from your Ex to the Affect that your Red Flag had Possibly been Right All Along?

Question

**Would you Still Continue to Talk to Him/Her or just Distance Yourself Totally? xx

Nigjt · Accepted Answer

Well that depends on how bad it is.
If it is a total red flag or even three quarters of the way yes that is ground for breaking up and getting the hell away from them.
If it is just 25% that would be something that I will have to talk to them about.
If it is 50%, I don't care I'm going to talk to them about it and see what their reaction is then depending on that situation I just might still break up with him but at 50%, I might give them a chance but they would be in for a serious serious punishment and not only of the sexual kind.
God Bless

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Paris, can you give us more details? Feel free to DM me if you would prefer.

Leapfrog00 · Answer

5 years ago, I would have said yes. I almost got married once. She did really nice things for me, cared about me, helped take care of me when I was sick, and always remembered my birthday, BUT, and there's a BIG BUT, she was also controlling, possessive, got jealous when I talked to any other girls (And I mean ANY other girls. Even if it was asking the waitress the soup of the day!), and she would cheat on me constantly, and leave all kinds of clues behind.

The day we were going to get married, she left me at the church, and I feel it was my fault because all the red flags were there, but I loved her so much, and I just couldn't be without her because I only focused on the positive, like all the nice things she did for me.

Now about talking to her afterward, I still hooked up with her for sex and we still talked, but it was all a mistake, so no, I learned still talking to an ex after learning all those things may cause more problems than what's already there.

The reason I was still hooking up for sex is because I didn't think I could do better than her. A cheater and a narcissist. If I would have left her when I should have, I would not have gotten stood up at my wedding and I wouldn't have kept believing I couldn't do any better than her.

KingslayerC · Answer

Completely depends on if we have kids or not. My ex-gf and I will always stay in touch because of our kid. And my wife and I will always stay in touch for the same reason. Doesn't matter how much time has passed or how bad of a person they are. Hell, my ex was flat out violent and psychotic (I could tell a thousand stories, literally), but our kid will always keep us connected.

With no kids in the picture, I refuse to stay in touch with any ex, ever. The most they would get is a half smile and a white-guy head nod while I walked by them. This is out of respect for my wife. Pretty much every ex of mine is still willing to sleep with me (and same goes for any male ex of any woman) so there's no point in having that kind of thing around.

LostandFound__x · Answer

If you feel like they're not investing all their romantic energy into you, it's because you are sharing it with someone else.

For instance - if you're in a relationship and he doesn't call you often, compliment you, flirt with you, see you etc etc. It's because there's another woman.

In my first serious relationship I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought it was just his personality. I let the shit show go on for 8 months. Then I found out he was seeing another girl the entire time.

It explained everything and now I will never ever ever be committed to a guy who says he's committed to me, but doesn't act like it.

Gent207-2 · Answer

There were so many red flags with my previous ex that it'd nauseating to me to think of how much I ignored.

But that's what happened when you have your first gigity. I think it was truly God's sense of humor that I attempted to buy her an engagement ring 3x and each one failed for a different reason, nothing to do with money. Even more humorous was that my own grandmother didn't like her and that woman loves EVERYONE it just goes to show mother knows

Anne_02 · Answer

I've never dated anyone but maybe I can answer a bit based on people stories, such as their partner limiting who they interact with, lying, lack of respect for each other's personal space, trying to monitor or control their social media accounts, jealousy, and wanting to be prioritised and appreciated without doing the same to appreciate and prioritise their partner.

exitseven · Answer

I was dumped by somebody that really broke my heart. I was hurt and angry and blamed it all on her. years later I was able to see that I was really not too much fun to be around. I was dealing with a lot and was very negative about just about everything.

humanearth · Answer

I still talk to my ex even after 35 years apart. We had kid with disability, so every once in while we talk to help plan his future without us

ariadneR · Answer

Jesus I don't know there's so many. Other girls calling him, but he had them under his families names When I visited him, him leaving me right away to go somewhere else

19magic · Answer

An ex is an ex because of a reason just because a time was good doesn't mean the bad shit wasn't there

Anonymous · Answer

I never had an ex. I learned from my older sister's ex certain red flags. He identified as a male feminist, he was a complete creep. Now when I meet these male feminist types warning bells ring.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I tend to tear down red flags as i see them 🤣 So i wouldn't even remember what i was initially thinking

Mark987 · Answer

I had a woman I was seeing.. she ended up having sex with a friend of mine. I ended up being friends with her after, but even till this day I got over it but in the back of my mind... I still hold a grudge

VivienChan · Answer

There is no point to learn from EX and I don't have too much EX, hahahaha

gothbxtch · Answer

depending on what it was, it would probably be better for me to distance myself! good question, though. interesting!!!

Sixgunsound · Answer

Once someone becomes an ex that should be the end of any communication for any reason.

RealMarek · Answer

Generally speaking, I would not be speaking with an ex who wronged me.

es20490446e · Answer

My rule is: If I won't do it myself, why shall I allow it?

RHK36 · Answer

I don't dwell in the past, so it doesn't change my present. I would have already moved on.

LemiaOfThunder · Answer

She would always go back to her ex after breaking up with me.

Christoff92 · Answer

Sure. That the relationship didn't work doesn't mean can't be friends

Likes2drive · Answer

Just shows you have good instincts, not much you can do now about it

imanoverthinker · Answer

Hi Paris! I will also need more information if you want me to give your advice. Maybe in dm?:)

CubaPirate · Answer

Then you'll be kicking yourself that you didn't go with your gut feeling and react sooner

lightbulb27 · Answer

sounds like fun

Sexiestjohnson · Answer

Red flags are red for a reason. But then again red, could mean many things.

SadyConfused1998 · Answer

He like to flirt with men. Turned out he was gay

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

Why are you still having contact with him

Jamie05rhs · Answer

That's usually what happens. I'm usually right.

Pterodon · Answer

Distance myself

sureitis · Answer

red flags are there for a reason...

msc545 · Answer

This is very vague.

TrillXHippy · Answer

I didn’t really learn anything from my ex

What if You Learned Something from your Ex to the Affect that your Red Flag had Possibly been Right All Along?

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