Caught a guy checking me out pretty much every day, when we talked he was very friendly and kept extending the conversation, asked about my plans for tonight, weekend, hobbies and interests, where I live and especially my living situation (who I live with, for how long, what it’s like etc.), complemented my fragrance and insisted on driving me home since we live in the same neighborhood.
These questions might seem like friendly small talk but I got a flirty vibe from him since he almost desperately agreed on everything I said and tried to extend the conversation and comment on every little detail I said and given the fact that he checked me out multiple times prior.
The next time I saw him he sat next to me but focussed on work. He was still friendly but not interested at all in talking to me. Later he disclosed that he had a girlfriend that was about to move into his apartment and seemed pretty closed off compared to last time. Did he lie about having a girlfriend or did he flirt with me despite his girlfriend? Or did I just imagine everything and he was just being friendly? Why would a guy reject a girl he is attracted to?
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Girl, that is super weird vibes from that dude. I'd be skeptical of him from now on.
Sounds like he may have had a change of plans or his situation changed, but the way he led you on first is lame.
A few possibilities I see:
- He did like you at first but got serious with his girl and clammed up to avoid drama. Still should've been straight from the start though.
- He was just looking for an ego boost and attention while single. Once tied down, lost interest in following through on anything.
- Could even be the new girlfriend put her foot down about past behavior or you in general once she moved in.
Either way, don't trip too much on what "could've been." This guy showed his true flaky colors. You deserve better than games and mixed signals!
Keep your distance from now on. His loss - you'll find somebody who gives you their genuine time and interest without the wishy-washy stuff. Chin up girl, next!
But here is the thing: he clammed up about one month after flirting with me. So it’s unlikely that he was single at that point because who moves in with a partner he has known for less than a month. Either he was already in a relationship when he flirted or he was never in a relationship and made that up because he doesn’t actually like me and just wanted to get laid or an ego boost.
And get rid of me because I was overly chatty that day (which is unlike me).
Ah man, that makes it even sketchier then. If it was really a month later that he shut it down, there's almost no way he suddenly got in a legit relationship in that time. Dude was definitely playing games from the jump.
Sounds like either way, he was messed up - either cheating on his girl by hitting on you heavy at first, or lying about having a girl just to let you down easy later on. Total bogus move either way.
I wouldn't waste anymore brainspace tryna figure out his lame excuses. He for sure just wanted to boost his ego or try for an easy hookup without any real interest. You can do so much better than some dude who plays games like that!
Just be glad you saw his true colors before catching real feelings. His loss - keep it pushin and don't look back. The right dude will be hyped to be with you from the start with no doubts or confusion. This clown ain't it, on to the next!
Ahh man, that's wack. Sounds like dude was just making up excuses then when he bailed on you.
Who cares if you were being a little more chatty one time? That's a lame reason to reject a girl. We all have off days now and then where we talk a bit more or less than usual. He probably just got spooked cause he was already playing games.
Don't even trip about that being the "reason". Dude was gonna flake no matter what cause he just wanted to reel you in and sees what else is out there. That's on him, not you at all!
Real talk, any guy would be stoked to have a fun girl who opens up and keeps the convo lively. This clown clearly just wants to keep his options open while stringing chicks along. F that noise.
You seem cool from what I can tell - don't change who you are just cause some player got scared of actually connecting with someone real. His loss, keep shining girl! The right one's gonna love that beautiful chatty spirit of yours.
So you think he wasn’t really attracted to me just horny?
Or do you think he would have acted differently around me if I was more attractive?
I don’t know, maybe he lied about having a girlfriend to reject me. But then why did he sit next to me (with too much cologne by the way) in my tiny room when there were plenty of other spots available. Also he glances to me when I talk to other guys or asks what we were talking about so I just don’t get it
Ah man, tough to say for sure what was going through his mind. Some possibilities:
- He was horny and attracted to you physically, but maybe wasn't that interested in you as a person once he got to know you better. Still a jerk move on his part.
- You're right, sitting right next to you when other spots were open is weird if he wasn't into you at all. Maybe he did like you but was too immature/non-committal to actually pursue anything.
- Could be checking you out with other guys was jealousy or protectiveness even if he wouldn't admit it. Guys are dumb sometimes haha.
- As for if you were "more attractive", who knows - every guy has different tastes. But someone who's really confident and secure wouldn't treat a girl badly just because of looks.
At the end of the day, don't stress too much about understanding his mixed signals. Seems like he might've been interested at first but then got cold feet. Or is just generally confused/messy with relationships. Either way, you can do better than a guy who plays games! Keep doing you.
Most men don't know what they want.
But do you think he lied about having a girlfriend?
I think men know what they want if the girl is pretty enough don’t you think?
guys do change their minds
Why would he go from „she is cute“ to „not attracted at all“?
found himself a more interesting girl
Interesting in what way?
in a way he finds interesting
I don't know about his preferences
Personality, looks or what?