Putting "SOME" in caps is appreciated.
I'm rising 52 this year and married with a 5 year old son.
My wife is sick and there's a strong possibility she may not recover. If she were to pass away I don't see why I shouldn't date and find someone else to share life with. Hopefully that won't happen, but it's a possibility I live with daily.
The guys my age I know who've been put back into the dating arena have all come from one of two places: widowers who lost the love of their life young and guys whose wives cheated on them.
I recognise there's a third group - guys who cheated - I'm just fortunate to not know any.
Widowers usually date younger to try to reduce the possibility of living through the pain of losing two lives that way.
Guys who were cheated on - in my experience - are more cynical. They aim younger these days because the current culture of hook-ups is attractive to them because they don't have to commit to someone that's going to put them through the hurt of a divorce again.
Both groups might look like they're trying to be "players". It's simply a matter of understanding where they're coming from.
The ones who are guys I'd avoid are the third group - guys who cheated. I don't want to be around an overgrown adolescent.
By the same token I'd avoid women over 40 who talk shit about their ex. Actually I'd avoid any woman who does that regardless of age. It's low class and a red flag - if she's talking that way about her ex she'll do the same about me. With one exception: several exes but one that was abusive. If she only says negative about a guy who was abusive and not the others then that's different.
In my 30s and even my early 40s I wanted more than one child. Not so much now because of my age. I could understand why a guy who realises he wants kids would date younger women. Over 35 a woman's ova are less healthy and more likely to produce a handicapped baby - usually chromosomal but there's a variety of issues. Under 25 if the guy's over 50 is socially awkward to say the least. So those guys look 25-35. Not as players, just for the mother of their children.
Lots of reasons why guys can appear to be players or trying to be. We're not all Andrew Tate (king wanker).
I’ll start this by saying my happily married and not at all sympathetic to the player lifestyles.
Nonetheless I know a few guys on the dating scene who are north of 45 years old. The reasons vary greatly from divorced, to finally able to dedicate themselves to a woman, to widowed. While none of them even remotely qualify as players they reasons they are single are not out of some craving to bed as many women as possible.
It’s the same as anybody who wants to have someone to share their lives with. If a guys is a player - then by all means, regard him as you will, but you’re more likely to meet a guy over 45 who is NOT a player, than who is. By that time you usually have a pretty strong idea about what it is you’re looking for in a relationship, and are probably less likely to play games. Add to that some maturity, a stable income, some life experiences, and a willingness to be honest about their goal’s & priorities, and you’d be surprised how many women are interested. So I’m told anyhow.
theyre coming to the end of their reproductive life. its like at the end of the month, you want to use up all your data. thats what theyre doing, because once theyre older, they won't be able to anymore
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm sorry, funny yet true
@Vegasrunner yeah if you want retarded or autistic children sure
so a 45 yr old male may feel pressured to play, because he knows at 46, he will be less attractive than he is right now. a 20 yr old male may feel no pressure because he feels he has time. in fact, i talk to a lot of 15 yr old boys. they just think they have all the time in the world to mate, but before they know it. theyre 30 and bald. females think the same. before they realize its too late, its too late, and they can't have kids
I've had sex with a great many women without procreating do you think I was confused how that worked or she just stumbled along, slipped on a puddle and fell on my junk?
Quite a few of us don't have that need to procreate. Sex still feels good.
@dreamlife7 That's not a big risk for men but yes for older women the risk is very high.
@Vegasrunner old men produce autistic kids
@dreamlife7 Not nearly at the rate old women do. 35 is considered Geareatric pregnancy, while you live under the rules of many men who's fathers were well over that age when they were conceived. Men produce successful children up to death, it's women that have a short shelf life. Hopefully you'll start soon because you're creeping up there in age.
@WEIXIN Most men have their kids well after 25, in fact many have them late into their 40's and 50's. Age doesn't really factor in a man's attractiveness to women because men are judged by their ability to produce resources. Women are valued for their youth and beauty. That's why it's so much more common to see an older man w/ a younger women, but you rarely see a younger man w/ an old women.
@Vegasrunner older men produce retarded and autistic children. Also, women want men with money. You can argue until your face turn blue but If you don't have money then no woman is wasting their time on you. Old dudes like Robert de Niro gets chicks cause he's a millionaire you're not lol 😆
@dreamlife7 You mean older women. Older women exponentially produce retarded and autistic children that's why most doctors advise women against waiting to long to have children. Yes men are valued for their resources, that's why it's important for young men to focus on building up their money and resources because you can always come back and get a younger hotter woman. Women unfortunately only have a short shelf life for youth and beauty. Once a woman starts getting late 20's early 40's she runs the risk of being a left over woman. Luckily men don't have to deal w/ that.
@Vegasrunner nope older men I work in the medical field. You have no medical background. Sir, you're talking as if women want you 🤣 and as if you have resources and options. You dont
@Vegasrunner you're an old , insecure, unattractive man with no resources and irectile dysfunction. Lol, you have no options
@dreamlife7 TY for sharing this as it proves how much emotion controls the average women's decision making. You're making these statements while knowing full well, we've never interacted, however it makes you feel better to believe this. This is similar to your misguided birth beliefs where you're willing to ignore facts in favor of an emotionally triggered response.
@dreamlife7 I certainly understand why you need to feel this way, as the truth hurts you much more. Reality is society places a lot of pressure on you to procreate b4 its to late while I have an indefinite amount of time.
@Vegasrunner truth isn't equivalent to lack of emotional control lol. Try again. U came to us remember we were minding our business 🤷🏼♀️
@Vegasrunner I owe u nothing. Good bye and blocked
Because they didn't get to be players when they were younger. But I do think it's dumb at 45 they are old men and should be going golfing and fishing. Not focused on women
Good point 🤔 💭 making up for lost times. Nothing wrong with getting married or dating at that age especially if divorced. Unfortunately a lot of them are divorced I'm this age range due to playing the field while married. then they continue to do so at 45 plus. Like Mr. Grow up
@Apple1996
You are aware that there are a great many single professional women who aren't looking for anything serious, yes? I mean, who do you think al those men not looking for something serious are dating? Women just want to "work some aggression/anxiety/whatever" out sometimes as well.
@BoopBoopBeep not true, most professional women want something serious and a family but men get very envious of successful women and men aren't reliable. So successful women decide to just do things on their own.
@dreamlife7
As someone who has likely slept with far more professional women than you have, I would think my experience would count for something. I also don't know any men envious of successful women. Your money doesn't affect us. I'm not sure why this myth persists.
When I go to the driving range I hit the ball in the the awning and almost beam myself. When I fish up here I just cast and reel all day and never catch anything.
I kayak, snowboard, play billiards. I bet I could make you or your husband gasp for breath trying to keep up with me on a snowboard if you even know how. I can most likely out run or swim both of you also.
@Sharkstealth you are flexing to hard about pointless activities 😂
Opinion
22Opinion
I don’t know. I just don’t worry about what people other than me are doing. If a guy tries to be a player at 45-plus, my life stays the same. I try to only put emotional energy into things that would directly affect me.
I’d say it’s probably tough to pull off, but I also don’t believe age should dictate one’s behavior. Follow your organic soul wherever it leads you. Maybe they crash and burn, but they might not be on the same journey as you or I, and it’s not any outside person’s place to make judgements about other people. The sun comes up every morning the next day, regardless, so I just can’t even expend any energy on it, haha
There's nothing wrong with dating at that age. But trying to play and get over on women is an issue if you're doing that at that age. The focus should be peace not drama in that phase of life
Agree with all that👍 Shouldn’t try to play women at any age, yours or theirs.
I don't know any men who aren't looking for peace over drama. Some people just aren't as peace-inducing as they think they are, so they don't get to stick around.
I wouldn't consider myself a player , I just consider myself pretty wise when it comes to females , thrpugh the years of girls’ and relationships , I realized most females can be players as well , I had my fair share of married women and girls’ that were already in a relationships with a guy lie to me and told me they were single , that ended up on bed with me to find out after the fact they lied to me The whole time. Nowadays most girls’ today are players’ that jump on bed with random guys’ like it’s no big deal , it ‘s dirty and degrading in my eyes , that a girl can go that route on her life. So bottom line guys and girls’ can both be players
I don't know anybody who lives to be a hundred years old. That's just news stuff. 45 is the easiest time to get all women. That's when young girls said to me "I've never had a man fuck me." I've always been a bit awkward and not really the settle down type. I am just fine independent unless I'm eating really well and working out a lot with supplements. That's what drives me to talk to women.
And by the way I'm not even close to nursing home age. Wait until you turn 40 and you will discover what a spoiled brat you are. You will remember this I guarantee.
At 56, I have zero intention of settling down. No marriage or long term relationship need apply.
I work out twice daily and have all my life and enjoy my hobbies without any complications or interference. I retired early and very comfortably.
So why would I be stupid to complicate my life by settling down and inviting someone's drama and trauma into my life? No thank you, I'll stick with casual dates.
All relationships aren't drama. it sounds like you have unresolved trauma. Normal healthy individuals who were brought up in a family with successful relationships don't have your views or issues. You need therapy and I hope you're paying into long term care. You're going to need it
Not even close lol. As usual no valid argument when someone doesn't agree with you, so you drop to personal attacks. GG. lol
Relationships are nothing but drama and required compromises. Even now most of them last maybe what 5 to 8 years max? There is very little benefit gained by attaching yourself to one.
Our society has gone from family oriented commitments to selfish narcissistic "its all about me". Sorry, I decided long ago to opt out and walk a different path. And after nearly 2 and a half decades I can easily say it was the best decision I ever made.
I think all men should do the same. Avoid any long term relationships, focus on careers to set themselves up for a debt free early retirement and then just reap those rewards without anything or anyone to drag them down.
That's not an attack. Healthy individuals are capable of having healthy relationships. Your views stem from unresolved trauma
lol no trauma why? The moment anyone tries to bring drama or trauma into my life they get cut loose, blocked and ghosted. No muss, no fuss.
I wish them the best, but their issues are just that, their issues.
You referring to relationships as drama yet there are healthy individuals who are capable of healthy relationships. You have unresolved trauma
Absolutely. Stop lying to yourself, and each others. I know couples that have been married for decades, and they both can’t stand each other. They stay together for the sake of the promises they’ve made in their adolescence, with no life experience at all. When they realize that life is a never ending series of changes, both good and bad, they find that the only thing holding their relationships together are morals and the semi comfort of familiarities. Not enough to sustain a solid relationship. They usually die wondering what life could have been, as their spouse pretty much parties for the rest of their lives… in my opinion.
@Buggermaster sounds like your own negative personal experiences. Deal with your family trauma and get better surroundings. Everyone I know including my family are happily married and thriving
If they want to be players, that's their choice. I know players in their 70s. That's their choice also. There is no reason for them to not be players if that's what they want.
Keep in mind that there are plenty of women doing the same thing.
You might be surprised how much sleeping around some old people do.
@WindAtMyBack
get to know some people at a retirement community... straight up orgies in some of those places. One of my cardiac rehab nurses used to do in-home care... said the STD rate in those places put college dorms to shame
Because you're never to old to be a "player". Of course, "player" is an ambiguous term which means different things to different people.
I'd argue I met a 64 year old "player" back in 2019 at a local pool. He had never been married, never had kids, and told me he still got drunk every weekend, and would meet random women, and even hooked up sometimes lol.
You may have noticed alumni license plate holders on cars owned by old ass men, and such other indicators like making sure that everyone knows that they are sports fans, they either have fast, sporty cars (which they drive too damn slow in) or “pecker extension” pick up trucks, you know, the bigger the better. All without either knowing, or caring that they’re really advertising their lack of confidence and their insecurities. I’ve personally found that most of them were jocks in high school. They get treated like heroes because they can run 6 feet with a ball, then when they realize that their glory days are over at the ripe old age of 23, they tend to spend the rest of their lives trying to relive them.
Sooo... alumni license plates means lack of confidence? Maybe they're active in the community and like giving back to their school. Seems like a couple necessary steps were skipped in that logic train.
Definitely a geographic thing... You'll see that in party cities in usa and some parts of south America but non party cities I don't see it so much. Some of them are divorcees that never partied, I understand that to some degree. Others are immature, lost, etc. I partied way too hard through my 30s. and definitely have repercussions from it now.
Most of the things that make men attractive to women such as money, status, and confidence take time to acquire, so a man who has likely struggled with women finally acquires these things he wants to enjoy them. You are speaking from a place of privilege because unlike men you can easily find sexual partners. You are basically a trustfund kid telling a self-made millionaire how he should spend his money.
Most men don't hit their stride until later in life. Early 30 through mid 40s is when many of us then start actually getting noticed by the opposite sex. You're in no position to judge. You sound like those red pill dorks who insist women should settle down at 21.. when they have thousands of guys lining up for them.
No, at 45, or 75, you should be doing whatever the F you want.
You can keep your simplistic rules for yourself; don't expect others to conform to them.
At 45 plus you should be valuing peace not drama. Men who behave like this are drama queens
Heck I'm 26 and don't want this type of drama. I'd think someone 45 plus should be excited to be close to retirement, spend time with their children and grands
You don't have to be settled down but the point is find someone who wants the same thing as you. Which men like to play but don't like to be played. So they'll prey on a woman who doesn't want any part of a love triangle
It's their life. If they can do it, all the power to them. Just to note something, Mr Ramajit Raghav was 94 years old when he fathered his first child in 2010.
probably making up for lost time.
Just think about this, you will probably spend more of your life over 30 years old vs under 30 years old!
There are guys who still se themselves as 25 years old. They do not realize that the rest of the world sees them as paunchy, middle aged guys.
Maybe they were late bloomers in their younger days with limited female attention now they're needing gloryhole action before ED arrives
What frustrates women about this is they would like to believe that there us an age when men stop wanting other women.
Probably because they are divorced and don’t want to get into a serious relationship again.
I'll be 140 and still playing around if I can lol.
What's wrong with that?
To pretend they are not getting older.
Aaaah good point midlife crisis
I agree... they need to chill out
There are actors who are 80 years old
You're not an actor you're an average guy who doesn't have actor money
Women let them?
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