My friend has been having some arguments with his girlfriend of three months. Before he got with her, he used to tell me everything! But once they started dating, I backed off a bit and gave them some space. I saw him the other day and within a few minutes, he began telling me about the fights they’ve been having, what he can’t stand about her, “what if we break up”, he can’t stand her friend, etc. He also never referred to her as his "girlfriend" only the first time when I asked about her. I just listened to him vent and rant, but was kinda confused because I thoughts guys didn’t talk about their relationship issues with other girls? He asked about my dating life and I told him about this dude that my friend is trying to set me up with. When I showed him this guys social media he got really mad saying this guy is a walking red flag, called him gross, saying my friend isn't really my friend. When I said I had to get going, he said things like "I miss our conversations" "I wish you could stay and talk to me longer" etc. But when I suggested coffee he declined. I even said he could bring his girlfriend and he said, "We'll see."
2 mo
I don't even know what to ask. I am just really confused overall by his behavior?
Updates
2 mo
Sorry, forgot to add that he said he is "too busy" to hang out right now.
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So, I've learned a few things about sharing like this, and I know enough to say its impossible to be sure without asking, and then you have to know why your asking or caring to ask (meaning why its bothering you to know, is it because your wondering about changing your relationship or just idle curiosity).
Okay, so, my experience (in the hope of maybe elicidating the matter):
I once met a pretty girl on the beach, who was clearly real angry with her boyfriend. She stopped and deliberately started chatted with me, flirting just a little (not too much). She was telling me how awful her boyfriend was and how useless he is; Telling me, increasingly bad things and to all the world seeming very unhappy with him indeed (and sort of hinting about getting out of the relationship). I didn't know quite how to take it, but, nodded quietly and listened. She went on at length, and eventually, I reflected back to her, "yes, that sounds pretty bad". She went quite mad, she turned from flirting with me to being deeply angry with me, she says "You don't know my boyfriend!", I said, "well I don't I'm just commenting on what you told me." Then she said, "you don't know ANYTHING, my boyfriend is perfect he's the best guy in the world..." she then proceeded to verbally praise her boyfriend for half as long (to which i just listened), then said "shows what YOU know!" and looking pissy, and seemingly debating if she should slap me first, swept off to find him.
It was a very bizare experience. I still don't know how I should have handled that. I am guessing just listening and possibly flirting back at the same level until she felt better. Still I certainly seemed to help her apprechate her boyfriend lol. Maybe it was the fact I didn't flirt back. Perhaps she needed to feel she was getting some kind of revenge. I will never know lol.
I myself tend to turn to some of my female friends for general advice (if I feel they can be non-partisan in hearing about it). It helps for a guy to get a female sounding board about how their feeling, allows them (if they trust the girl) to blow off a little steam about things so they don't carry the upsets back into the relationship. They will also be glad of some third party insight from another girl.
That said, I do know some guys will bad mouth their partner to elicit some kind of sympathy and try to use that to get closer to a girl who might otherwise keep them at a distance (e. g. abuse the fact a girl might be more comfy talking with them because they aren't a treat being already involved). Distinguishing the above two is nigh on impossible, but then its probably why those guys do it. They can always pretend it was the more innocent type and save a lot of face).
So ultimately, figure out why you care and work to that. Good luck :)
DM me please?
I just sent you a friend request