Thoroughly confused by his behavior and don’t know how to ask him about his motives?

[Katarina88]

I went out with a guy 4 times in 3 weeks, with the most recent date being two weeks ago. He was busy last weekend but clearly hasn’t been prioritizing me. His communication suddenly dropped off, too, so I assumed he was focusing on other girls.

So about 5 days ago I gave up and figured we were done. Midweek he reached out to send me a listing to a house he put an offer on, then he told me when he got it. I acted excited for him and he replied but was way less chatty than he’d been previously. Yesterday I texted him good luck (he’s coaching HS football and it was his first game) thinking it was prob the last one I’d send him. He texted me after the game to tell me they won, then called me on his drive home. This caught me off guard because we hadn’t talked on the phone in 9 days. He asked what I was doing this weekend and said he was busy but would call me tomorrow (today) to see if we could figure something out. Well this morning he said he couldn’t make today work, and when I said to lmk about tomorrow, he didn’t reply.

I’m seriously over this. I don’t know why he called me last night in the first place, let alone acted like he wanted to make plans with me. I’m kind of at the point where I just want to ask what he actually wants from me because I’m thoroughly confused.

[spartan55]

Wow, four dates and you expect to be number one huh? Dude is trying to buy a house and has been getting his football team ready for their first game and it's all about YOU... and you're over it? you sound selfish and entitled... and how have you been 'prioritizing' him besides sitting around doing nothing?

[bowenw]

He's not treating you like someone he is seriously interested in. I can see letting him off the hook once as he has been busy buying a house, but now that's done he should putting in some effort to do things with you and having the common courtesty to reply to you.

[Katarina88]

I was skeptical early on that he wanted a relationship (he was pretty honest about still being stuck on his ex) but I was fine with taking it slow and seeing what happened. When I realized there was no consistency and he was contacting me less, I figured we were done. I’m just confused why he called me last night and mentioned seeing me just to make no plans. Like if you don’t want anything with me, quit contacting me. You know?

[bowenw]

It doesn’t make sense to me for him to call you like that unless he wants to keep you waiting in the wings.

[Katarina88]

I guess I was looking at it wrong. I really don’t enjoy talking on the phone so I never call a guy unless I really like him. But he seems to enjoy chatting so I guess for him it is just an easy way to maintain some sort of contact.

[bowenw]

Hopefully he will do more than calling if he is serious about you. Best of luck.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Shiprex]

Buying a house is a pretty huge deal that takes a lot of time and consideration as well as communication with lots of people so being out of touch for a few days isn't or shouldn't be a huge issue.
You answer your own dilemma but saying what specifically it is you want to know.
Send him a text of call him because it seems he's been doing all the chasing and you're letting him know you're not reciprocating by waiting for him to make plans.

[slatyb]

If he's not prioritizing you, that tells you all you need to know. There's no need to ask him.

[Katarina88]

I gave up on him about a week ago because it was clear that things changed with him. I guess the calling just confused me because it seems texting would be a much easier way to string someone along. I guess I’ll just quit picking up!