How do you understand his behavior ?

[Anonymous]

With this guy we ve became closer and closer. Lately he started to invite me more to hang out.

The problem is that he seems super nervous when it is time to leave and then possibly kiss…

last time we were at the cinema and as soon as the movie ended, he stood up Quickly and started to talk fast and walk fast as hell 😂 I was accompanying him close to his place and he literally escaped at the end.

last time he invited me to go to the beach for the day we had a nice time together, and again he placed that he was the last single guy in his friends group…

so I dont Know how to proceed, he seems super anxious when it is time to conclude…. we both know we want to but each time he escapes quickly. This is funny but also frustrating.

what do you think? How to proceed?

[Death_To_Stress]

You already see what you'll get. That kind of anxiety comes from somewhere very deep. Big, positive change is possible but not likely.

If that works for you then make a move. A big move that he can't so easily run from.

If that doesn't work for you then cut it off cleanly and get on down the road.

The "I'll fix him" and "He'll just change" options don't exist.

Good luck

[Asker]

What do you think when you talk about anxiety coming from very deep?

I think he puts too much pressure on himself, he just needs to relax

[Death_To_Stress]

That there is some source of insecurity or shame that lies deep within his subconscious. Something from his childhood, perhaps. He's afraid of something. To be vulnerable to his own emotions, doing so in front of you, the potential for rejection or to cause you disappointment. That's not something that can be helped with mere encouragement and reassurances no matter how sincere. The guy needs to see a professoonal therapist. Someone who can help him get to the root of why Intimacy = Panic and guide him through the healing/reprogramming process. You didn't break him. You alone can't fix him. You should wish him luck and go find yourself emotionally and psychologically healthier candidates worthy of the pleasure of your company.

[Asker]

Wow haha interesting point of view. I can relate last time we met he was incredibly intimate with me…he tells me everything about himself and I think after he was scared to have such trust and natural connection with me so he was a bit distant during a few days. But he came back and each time he implies me a bit more in his intimacy.
So I think I d rather be a bit patient and see where it leads. I’m not saying I can heal him of everything but there is something to explore between us !

[Asker]

I already saw him crying and was here for him because he had an accident. This reinforced our connection!

[Guy13]

Lean in and start kiss process…So he knows it is okay.

[Asker]

Haha. I also tried gentle touches but he doesn’t show anything on a physical plan

[Guy13]

oh well, more sleepless nights for you... ;-)