Is this an unreasonable ask for my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

We've been together for 3 months he's 25 and I'm 21. I've started to develope a few pet peeves which before now I assumed were just basic hygiene and adult things.

He's only just started to do his laundry or so he says, he's been wearing the same 2 hoodies with the same stains. He doesn't wash his hands with soap after going to the toilet or eating just with hot water because he thought it killed the germs. Not owning his own hairbrush.

It makes me worried that he's one of those people that doesn't wash their butts, beard or worse his dick. He said he did but this is coming from the man that thought water would be enough to keep his hands clean after going to the toilet. I am thinking about being this all up to him tomorrow, asking him to change. This isn't unreasonable for a man in his mid 20s is it?

[Anonymous]

So, your dead on it needs be addressed. My ex-gf was very focused on hygine and rightly so, because hygine is more important for girls, because its all internals that's not the easiest to keep clean (unlike a man's penis which is all accessable and inspectable).

My ex-gf was also OCD and that actually helped me a lot (and its not any reason I split up with her but something I'm glad of). We started dating around the same age, and she insisted that I showered always, every day and expecially before going to bed. There was not getting into a common bed without a shower and scrubbing nails etc. It makes perfect sense and it adds an additional thrill to the sex because your it builds the anticipaction.

So, yes, bring it up. The one thing I'd advise though is be kind, go slow and show you understand why he doesn't do stuff generally (e. g. don't make it a huge, change over night deal, establish stuff like my ex did in terms of expectations before serious intimacy, cleaning teeth before deep kissing.

There are a heap of benefits for all those things you mention he's not doing for both of you. Highlight that.

If he pushes back, compromise just a bit, e. g. don't deny him everything (for example my ex-gf would set limits within the house and certain parts couldn't be passed without removing dirty clothes etc, that can be a bit much, again it never was anything to do with us splitting up, but it was irritatingly much).

Good luck, and hope he listens / gets it.

[slatyb]

Wow, gross. He sounds like an overgrown spoiled chips. If he won't keep himself clean that should be a deal-breaker. Does he brush his teeth? What is attractive about him?

[liel443]

He thinks washing it with hot water kills the germs?
I don't know if you should break up with him because of the low hygiene or because of stupidity, but you should break up with him.

[Truthatanycost]

Everything you mention can be signs of much deeper issues. I wouldn't go anywhere near him...

[genericname85]

well asking is fine. but don't expect him to change. if i was you, i wouldn't bet on him becoming more hygienic.

[jahaims]

Asking for him to have better hygiene is reasonable but being too clean isn't good for your immune system.

[laly520]

not normal
u have to talk it out with him

[spartan55]

Took three months to notice all that?

[spartan55]

by the way, I'm sure he has some complaints about you too. Are you following him around to watch how he washes his hands 24/7?

[Asker]

Yes, since I started to go round his house overnight