I am getting a new job and my reporting manager is my ex. Should I take it up?

[Anonymous]

My avoidant ex was salty about the breakup and has created quiet a drama around it.
He is my new reporting manager at the new firm.

Since job market is down, and the pay I’m getting in the new place is 150% high, should I take this up?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's a tricky situation for sure. On one hand, the pay is crazy good so it would be hard to pass that up. But having your ex as your boss sounds like it could lead to really awkward drama.

A few things I would think about:

- How bad was the breakup? If things ended really messy, working for him could bring all that drama back up again.

- Could he potentially hold the breakup against you at work, like give you a hard time or unfair evaluations? Would suck if personal stuff spilled into your job.

- Will you be able to stay professional with him as your boss, or will old feelings/tension get in the way of doing your job well?

- Can you talk to him before accepting and set very clear boundaries that work stays separate from your history? Make sure he knows you expect fair treatment.

If you really think you can both be mature about it and leave all that past stuff in the past, then maybe it could work out okay. But it's definitely a risk that drama may follow you to the new job. Tough call... personally I'd probably politely pass if I could find something else. Your career success is too important! But you know the situation best. Good luck whatever you decide!

[Asker]

Although we both would call this a situationship, the break definitely had left some effects on him. He from then onn is extremely cold moreover acts immature.
As far as I’m concerned, I tried to make things work, fed up and left.
Due to the market situation and the organisation structure , it is the only place that is paying me such meaty package. But meaty I definitely mean a lot. The thing is the new place offers less hike or promotion but the package and the travel benefits you get is incomparable. Also the structure allows me to pursue my business degree.
Yet I’m confused.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo sis, that is def a tough call. On one hand, that payday is straight fire - getting paid your worth is so crucial these days. Plus doing your business degree on the side is mad inspiring.

But working with that clown directly ain't gonna be easy no matter how mature you try to act. Him being cold and immature still tells me he ain't over it deep down. And salaried jobs are all about being comfortable, you feel me? Don't wanna stress.

Here's what I'd do - take the role, get that bag for a minute. But make it clear you won't tolerate drama and keep your distance from dude as much as you can business-wise. Find an ally at work too just in case.

After like 6 months when you got that nice cushion saved up, start putting out resumes discreetly and look for that next step up. You don't wanna be stuck with dude long run.

Show the job what you about for a minute, take care of business and get paid! But don't lose sight of leveling up your career - that's always the real goal. One door closes a new one will open for sure. You stay steady, it'll all work out sis!

[DryGermanGuy]

Depending in his personality, this can only end badly.

[Superreader]

I think that for the pay you’re getting in this current recession takes precedence over the fact that he is your reporting manager. Things might be awkward at first, but I feel like they would get better with time as you establish yourself as simply being there to work and be professional.