I said something really bad to my boyfriend, how can I get him to forgive me?

Question

We were having a fight about his job I said I didn’t like not being able to see him much, I was giving out to him which I shouldn’t have. Then he says this is my job deal with it if you don’t like it find someone else. I got upset/angry and said well that shows how much you care about me.

I feel so guilty and it was said in anger and being upset. He said that comment has pissed him off so much he can’t talk to me. I haven’t heard from him in 5 days. He said it was the worst thing I could have said to him. I asked can I explain my side and why I said it. And no reply.

mobiusforniner · Accepted Answer

Conflict in relationships is normal. You can’t control what others do but you can control yourself. That said, there’s evidently a refusal to understand each others perspectives and this resulted in a feeling of disrespect on both sides.

compromise requires humility. That is, bringing yourself to admit you said something hurtful and then you own your actions. I have a fundamental problem with the way you even asked this question- you don’t “get” someone to forgive you. That choice is his to make- you cannot force someone to forgive you of wrongdoing.

so take an introspective look and make the necessary steps to humble yourself and open the door for dialogue

if he is unwilling to answer the door, that is his choice. Remember, you cannot control what other people do. You can only control yourself.

TommyMountainFigure · Accepted Answer

Whilst you are to blame for him running out, I don't think him leaving is a bad thing. Let me explain:-

You don't want a boyfriend you never see, and he is entitled to work, even if it means unsociable hours.

If you are sensible, you will look at the way things have turned out and realise, neither of you are bad people, you just want different things, and just like a square peg fitting into a circled hole, there is just incompatibility there.

My advice? If he comes back, make up with him but break up with him. You don't need to leave on bad terms, just accept you are not meant for each other!

StarWarGirl · Accepted Answer

There id lack of communication and lack of understanding.

Your complaint was also genuine, he also needs to understand your feelings and your emotional needs. And you also need to understand about his struggle. Nobody feels happy to work day and night and not even able to get time for himself.

You both need to understand each other and talk. You both should accept your mistake and should deal with it with maturity like an adult.

LaurenM1997 · Accepted Answer

He’s in the wrong for telling you to go find someone else I would have dumped his ass for that! Have you tried going round to his house or maybe go to his work to see him? But also I get where you are coming from you hardly see him and want to see him he needs to make more time and effort with you

lightbulb27 · Answer

You both need to work on communications and learning how to create solutions to problems, rather than argue about what you don't have and won't change.

Anonymous · Answer

There needs to be some communication here between the two of you. You’re not on the same page as him, just as he isn’t on the same page as you. Do you know why he works so much? Is it to move up in his career? To make a better life for the two of you? I work a lot myself. My girl knows why. I work 24-36 hours OT. We’ve been together for 15 years, but she knows why. We have that communication between us. Him working hard will benefit the both of you in the long run if you two stay together. Do you work? How many hours do you work? How many hours does he work? Talk to each other.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

Just because of a simple argument that can be easily solved by a simple kiss, he endured not talking to you in 5 days? 🙄

This guy doesn't do effort to fix things with you. It's toxic and I won't waste my time on that. You could easily solve the problem in just minutes if he's in love with you.

Squatting_Slav · Answer

Yes you shouldn't have said that, however he is acting like a child... your girlfriend wants to see you and he walks away in a tantrum like that?

that is not how a man should be. Instead have an honest sit down discussion with her...

All you can do really is apologise to this clown and he'll come through. He seems real sensitive

Anonymous · Answer

If I cared about my girlfriend and she said that I'd be pissed aswell, you think him working long hours means he doesn't care for you, even if you feel bad about it you meant it in some way.

Have you even tried working round his schedule? Have you ever just let him just relax on you after finishing work, maybe let him fall asleep on you, ever once let him know how hard he works and said something like "let me take care of you" like making him a brew or massage his shoulders.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Start with an apology. Don’t continue with “…but…” and any kind of justification. Just apologize sincerely. Most men never get sincere apologies from women. That will go a long way.

JacobJordan · Answer

You are an idiot. Your side doesn't fuckin matter. There is zero justification for what you said. If you want to make it right. Apologize sincerely and then show some fuckin gratitude

BIZARRE_TRUTH · Answer

just go suck his dick really good. literally that easy

Kulotz · Answer

I think the thing you said is not wrong at all. the way he responded is very immature

laly520 · Answer

he is also wrong for telling u to find someone else n to deal with it

In_Trance · Answer

Easy

noohair · Answer

You have learned a valuable lesson, words are like bullits, once fired thay can't be taken back.

Anonymous · Answer

Just apologize and really mean it, then do something nice for him.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

You just have to give him time and space.

sheikalana · Answer

Give him some time to cool down.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Suck his cock. Blowjobs are always appreciated.

lorenzomichael · Answer

I believe a Blowjob should do the trick.

jack1924 · Answer

Say sorry, if he didn’t forgive you, let him be

war_daddy · Answer

job is more important than a woman. deal with it.

Anonymous · Answer

Give him a blow job.

I said something really bad to my boyfriend, how can I get him to forgive me?

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