My boyfriend forgets everything, is super clumsy, and accidentally twists my words it's starting to really drive me nuts?

[Maosource]

To sum up nearly every other day he forgets his phone/credit card/something else important at my place and I won't be able to contact him throughout the day until he gets to my place and grabs the stuff he forgets (like every 2nd or 3rd day this happens) He always feels hopeless when this happens... And I do my best to comfort him yet nicely tell him to be more careful

Twice (!!!) in 2 weeks he FORGOT to meet up at work when he was supposed to be there! He REALLY felt bad both times this happened... He's not fired (yet) but he did receive a warning.

I live in a small apartment where we're supposed to not be too loud so just dropping items can be really noisy for the people I share this block with, yet almost every day he will lose something like his computer or my headset in attempt to move them or something so they make really loud noises to the ones living downstairs.. Again, nothing purposefully... Just bad luck that seems to happen too often.

Then there's his "word twisting" I could tell him that I only really eat cheeseburgers when I'm drunk and he'd twist this into "Oh but you said you HATE cheeseburgers and only eat them if you have to and you're drunk" which is NOT what I said... I told him my close friend had problems with his dad, then a few days later said they went out to eat and he'd throw the line "But you said your friend HATED his dad?" right back at me. It might seem petty that this annoys me, but being told I said something totally different from what I said 8-10 times a day is so tiring, and it makes us both argumentative and irritable. Often the discussions end up with him saying sorry for "forgetting what you actually said" but it's a neverending cycle,,,

He's seeing a psychologist, is attending high school (equivalent in Denmark, does have signs of stress) yet nothing seems to help... I don't want to leave him or anything, I want to know if anyone has had a severe case of clumsy boyfriend as I do and how to live with this...

Updates

+1 y

I decided to break up, and that turned out to be the best decision I ever made

[Adviceguy01]

He very clearly had adhd and you need to learn to love and appreciate that or to let him go be happy elsewhere. The same adhd is what makes him fun spontaneous and verbally and emotionally very caring - when he’s not distracted.

[jman46241]

He's the challenge that all women strive for. If you fixed him or he decided to change, you would lose interest quickly..

[Maosource]

Your generalization really makes me value your opinion

[jman46241]

What else can be done? You don't really have a choice. You love him and it's obvious! Instead of just seeing my opinion as just generalizing and downvoting, perhaps you could have taken my words with a grain of salt..

[Maosource]

What else can be done... Than what? You said nothing productive, you basically just told me that I have to do nothing and accept the negative impact his memory has on our relationship AND our general life quality (he even forgets to lock the door..!) And then you told me that due to my gender, I am inclined to love him more because he's not living up to my needs, as if he were living up to my needs, I would lose interest... I usually fall for men far more ambitious and organized than myself, for once I did not and that is far from comfortable to be in this situation. Did I misinterpret your message, and if so would you care to elaborate?

[jman46241]

Absolutely. For once you went with your feelings instead of your better judgement. You are all in.. I never intended for you to feel inclined to love him more, that is your reaction which I accept with a grain of salt. You said you don't want to leave him. There is nothing else you can do.. I can't provide a comforting answer to your question. Believe me, I wish I could.

[jman46241]

Honestly if I was you, I would leave him or at least suggest a break, a week or two. Perhaps give the both of you time to think and miss each other.

[Maosource]

I ended up breaking up with him, and I am very pleased with that decision! Thank you.

[momojiei]

im struggling with the same shit and i just don’t know what to do bruh i tell him about my trauma and he FORGETS EVERYTHING and also twista what i say literally doesn't listen to me at all

[reptocarl]

It isn't going to change so you have a decision

[Maosource]

Now that's optimistic and helpful

[reptocarl]

It's the brutal truth hun. People don't change

[Maosource]

I feel sorry for your mother having to give birth to a stubborn 50+kg man like you, since people don't change you've must've been born that way right? Ouch. Sarcasm aside, you're wrong and I think you're well aware. People change as they grow, that's logic learned at a young age. Jesus, imagine if all teenagers stayed rebelling always... Stop being ignorant please.

[reptocarl]

You'll never change the things you hate about him and if you think you can then have fun with that

[Maosource]

You're obviously very dense, dimwitted or both. I will block you since you have nothing constructive to offer, but just have an I-am-right mentality with no warrant or actual hold to your arguments. You live in a dreamworld. Time to get out into the real one. Don't know who pissed on your chocolate cake, but I feel sorry for you having to take it out on others! I wish you luck with the people you meet in the future