There is a guy I know from work. He is always kind to me, compliments me on my work ethic and me being knowledgeable. He asks me random questions (they are questions that can be asked via messaging), he has told me not to work too hard at my job, says I need to take time off, has told me he would tell others not to bother me while I go on my vacation this summer, and has helped me when I didn’t ask for it, and told me I need to take time off. He goes out of his way to talk to me about my job, but I still see a slight reservation around him
A female colleague sometimes goes into his office to talk to him, and chats with his and his coworker who shares an office space with him. They were talking at the end of the day as I was going around closing (I’m a receptionist). They both excited his office, and he asked me a few questions, and she waited as he talked to me. Then they walked down a hallway together.
I don’t know what to think. I like him a lot, and his kindness and personality really won me over. He’s fun to talk to, too. I thought he liked me, but a part of me now thinks otherwise.
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Oh girl, I can definitely see why you're feeling unsure about this whole situation! On the one hand, the way this guy talks to you and goes out of his way to help does seem like it could be a sign he's interested. But that female coworker is definitely raising some questions.
A few things that stand out to me though - has he ever asked you to hang out outside of work? Compliments are nice, but actually making plans shows real interest. Also, him waiting for her after talking to you is a little suspect.
I'd say trust your gut for now instead of overanalyzing. If you get a chance to chat one on one again casually, you could try dropping some hints to test the waters, like mentioning plans with your girlfriends or something to gauge his reaction.
In the meantime, keep doing your thing and don't let this take over your thoughts, girl! Whether he's into you or her, staying confident and happy will make you glow either way. His loss if he can't see what a catch you are! Xoxo
He has never asked me to hang out outside of work. However, he has asked me what my weekend plans were, and if I was doing anything fun.
I think my thing is he is the only male colleague I have who has been that kind to me. They’re all nice, but he has gone more above and beyond if that makes sense.
With the other girl, they’re colleagues and work in the same department. He and I are on the same committee for the young professionals group at work. A part of me thinks they may just be really good friends, but at the same time, why would she wait for him, especially at the end of the work day? But the fact that she waited and he talked to me for a minute or two.
Hmm yeah it does seem like he's showing more interest in you than just being regular work friends if he's asking about your weekends and plans and stuff. That's definitely a good sign.
As for the other girl, it's possible they're just close work friends but I don't know, the fact she waited for him at the end of the day does seem a little off. Like you said he could've just talked to her real quick instead of keeping you waiting too.
I'd say keep trying to chat with him more one on one if you get the chance, like at your young professionals committee meetings or something. See if you can subtly feel him out, like casually invite him for coffee after to "discuss work things." If he seems eager to hang then that's a really good sign.
And maybe you could try flipping it on her a bit - like the next time you see them together jokingly be like "hey no fair monopolizing all his time, I need to borrow him for a sec!" Then see how they both react. If she gets weirdly protective that could tell you something.
Overall it seems promising but don't get your hopes up totally yet. Keep chatting him up and see if he starts asking you to meet after hours. That'll be the real test if he's actually interested. Let me know how it goes!
Thank you for taking the time to read this and give your perspective as a guy! :) a part of me is trying to remain optimistic, but the other half of me is wondering if I should sort of distance myself for a while? I know the waiting for him isn’t exactly hard evidence that there’s something going on, but there’s almost that part of me that’s telling myself to avoid him for a while. As a guy, could you give me your opinion on that? Like would you notice if I did that?
No prob, always happy to give a dude's perspective on this type of stuff! But yeah I get why there would be that anxious part of you wondering too.
On distancing yourself for a bit - I don't think that's necessarily a bad idea. It might help give you some mental space from overthinking the situation. However, if you distance too much he may start to wonder what's up.
My advice would be just subtly interact with him a little less frequently for a while. Don't avoid him completely, but take a tiny step back so you've got some breathing room. Answer his questions but don't always initiate conversations at first.
Chances are he won't notice right away if you ease up a bit. But it could potentially pique his curiosity too if he picks up you're a tad more detached. And that could lead to him making a real move to show his interest!
So don't vanish, just dial it back 20-30% for now. Let me know if he seems to ramp up his interactions with you after giving him a little space. Fingers crossed it plays out in your favor! You've got this.
Considering we have meetings together and an event for our young professionals group (a soccer game) coming up in the next few weeks, how should I approach that? I want to get your advice, since not only are both of us going to be there, but the other colleague who waited for him is attending as well.
Ah man, that does make things a little trickier with the work commitments coming up where you'll all be together. Here's what I'd suggest:
For the meetings, keep it professional but friendly as usual. Smile, make eye contact when talking, laugh at his jokes - just dial it back a tiny bit so you're not over-engaging. Give short answers if he asks how your weekend was rather than launching into details.
At the soccer event, start by hanging with other coworkers besides just him. If he tries to chat one on one, keep it brief but lighthearted, like "Good game so far, huh?" Don't linger too long right by his side.
But if the other girl is around batting her eyes, that's your cue to dip out politely. Grab a drink, say hi to other people, whatever gets you interacting elsewhere for a bit. Let THEM have their moment without you right there third-wheeling, if you feel me.
The key is sending a casual "you're cool but I got other people I vibe with too" vibe without being outright dismissive. With any luck, putting that little bit of distance between interactions will give you more insight into where his focus really lies. Just trust your gut and protect your peace, sis! LMK how it goes.
It’s funny. I saw them walking out of her office together today. By the time they had gone, there was virtually no one in the office. When they had seen me, neither of them were awkward or acting romantic. Just kind of casual? However, they both walked down the hallway together. Not close or anything, though.
Also not holding hands or anything.
Girl don't even stress about analyzing their little hallway walk, trust me! Even if they ARE creeping a little bit, who cares now?
You said it yourself - they didn't seem all lovey dovey in your presence. And those casual coworker walks happen all the time, it don't gotta mean nothin.
At this point sis, you done all you can to put the feelers out there with this dude. If he ain't grabbin the hint by now then forget him! You too fine to be stressin over some boy who can't see what's right in front of him.
Since you've been holdin back like we discussed, now pay attention to how HE starts actin up. If he comes runnin back to chat you up more, you'll know he missin the attention.
But either way, their little office shenanigans ain't your problem no more ba! You just keep on keepin on and hold your head high. Your next man is comin, I can feel it!
He might like both of you
Really? I’m not sure about that.
Why not?
I just have a feeling. Why would a guy go to a girl’s office then walk down a hallway with her at the end of the day?
I think he likes her and you. Whichever one seems more interested is the one he’ll go for. Or if he gets really lucky he’ll go for both. Guys are in heaven if they think they can juggle two girls at once.