Why would a man who is NOT interested in a woman continue to contact her?

[Amy10223]

In terms of texting, writing letters, etc. I mean, writing nearly everyday. No flirting, although there was some before meeting. Could it be he just wants to stay friends?

Updates

14 d

I want to clarify my question because I'm getting a lot of answers, some are good, and make sense, and some don't make sense or are strange.
Someone here was on the ball when he asked, "Do you know he isn't interested, or are you assuming he is not? " I do NOT know if he is not interested. I said this to get some answers if he were NOT interested. He is hard to read. Yet he continues to write to me, and kept abreast of what I was doing until the very last day I was in Japan. I hope you all

Updates

14 d

understand what I mean now.

[DaveJord]

I have linked up with many women that apparently lonely, but not looking to date. All they want to do is text. After a week or two at the most, if we are not going on dates I lose interest.

But sounds to me like this guy is lonely. Or maybe he is just taking it slow and easy. But if you are interested in dating, then you need to be honest about that with guy and make it known. It's not really up to the guy anymore. If your interested then say that, if you are not then stop responding, if you want a friend then make him one.

[Amy10223]

Can’t date. He’s too far. :/ When I was visiting his country he asked me out twice. It’s a language exchange program I belong to, that’s how I met many folks on it, including him. I think he might be lonely, but he was kind of flirtatious a few months after I knew him (as a penpal where we would help each other with English and Japanese. I liked him, but I wasn’t sure how he felt as he is hard to read. Once he was a little tipsy and he began being more talkative and took my hand to shake it when we said goodbye, and bowed with the greatest smile. He insisted on taking pictures together. But he does this with all his friends.

[DaveJord]

Yeah, sounds like a cultural thing, too hard to say. He might just like practicing his English... and maybe someday he might come visit and want a friend in country.

[Amy10223]

Yes, it's cultural. But he spoke more Japanese than English to me. So maybe he was nervous about speaking in English. When he took me out to eat at first, he was very fidgety, looking at the menu, ordering, checking the table, all the while not really looking at me. I couldn't tell if he was nervous. Would not look me in the eye until he was all settled down after ordering. Crossed his arms over his chest a lot of the time while asking me questions about my stay. He remembered all the details about my trip that I had told him about before I came, os he was kind of reaffirming my plans.

[handsomelad70]

He's trying to erode her resistance to him, as we men often try.(And seldom succeed.)

[Amy10223]

@handsomelad70 What do you mean by that, Handsome? Erode her resistance to him?

[handsomelad70]

Ever hear the Marvelettes" song "Jimmy Mack," one of whose verses is,"But this boy keeps coming around/Trying to wear my resistance down"? "Jimmy Mack," which hit circa 1964, when I was 11, was about a sweet-talking dude who was trying to get a chick whose boyfriend is absent to date him.(Would-be Casanova, that is.) THAT'S what I mean, Amy10223.

[Amy10223]

@handsomelad70 I see. Yes, I remember that song.

[handsomelad70]

At least someone other than Yours Truly remembers "Jimmy Mack." Thanks, Amy10223.

[Serkee]

Did he say he wasn't interested, or does it just seem that way? He could just want to stay friends, but he also might not be flirting because he doesn't want to seem pushy or creepy, and doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Do you want him to flirt with you, or would you rather he left you alone?

[Amy10223]

That seems to make sense. I did like him but he’s far.

[mstbooblover]

Recently, via a dating site, I obtained an encounter with an interesting African woman, who said willing to have a serious relationship. That's what I'm looking for also, but on the other hand she wasn't willing any encounter in private, or having a plain walk together in some park. The places she suggested were all very noisy, where understanding each other's words became very difficult. It became quickly clear everything private would be a big problem, and thus I lost completely interest.

A few days later still, changing my mind, I tried to invite her to my place, to show her who I really am, and in order to talk more privately about our mutual interests and desires. I did that because even if odds were only 1 out of 100 chances to get her rid of apprehensions and prejudices, we could at last prove to be a match. Alas of no avail, and I left her in peace.

If you read my profile you have an idea of what I'm interested in, and my advertisement, although polite, was rather explicit. I don't understand that woman's contradictions, but she said God would have created only one gender... I guess she somehow means to say that God, or actually she and most women, don't want a man to understand how a woman functions, and that the mystery must prevail, a bit like a spider in her mystery web. I do not agree with her point of view by the way, but that's another topic.

[Summeroflove]

I don’t know because I can’t read his mind and I don’t know specifically what he’s saying. There are people out there who don’t have much of a life. They will spam you constantly and get mad when you’re at work or sleeping and can’t respond. Sometimes you have to be kind and tell someone to calm down and then I’m not so nice if they don’t stop.

If you want the answer I would just reach out and ask him why he’s doing it. Maybe he just needs someone to talk to. Maybe he’s lonely. Maybe it’s a lot of things.

[Amy10223]

I agree.

[Amy10223]

However, this man is no spammer. He’s afraid himself of scammers on the website we both belong to.
I’d ask him, but I think it’s too soon to ask that kind of question when we both just met abroad. We’ve been communicating since last August. He seemed like a player, maybe he is. Don’t know much about his personal life except a few things.

[Summeroflove]

Well. Someone can be saying they’re afraid of scammers and still be a scammer.

[Amy10223]

Ah, I guess he isn't because he never spammed me while I was there.

[Summeroflove]

Look. I don’t know what it is. It depends on exactly what he is saying. Maybe he doesn’t know what he wants. Just talk directly to him and if you feel you’re loosing interest. I would allow yourself to move on and figure if it’s meant to be. It will be at the right time.

[Summeroflove]

If you aren’t together. Then I guess see if he wants a date. If he’s someone you know in real life.

[EmyyWolf]

He wants the attention and someone to talk to. Not necessarily getting “ass”. But texting someone is still a form of attention.

Its why most people are addicted to texting than they are to getting likes.

The dopamine hit from receiving one text is insane. Specially from the opposite sex.

This guy just wants to keep you as friend and in his circle and that texting-dopamine hit. That’s all it is. And if you ever visit him or he visits you, he knows he’ll get some action… 🤷🏻‍♀️ simple.

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———

This is why I can’t do long-distance relationships. I find it too boring. I need to get my sexual orgasm. Even if he will just be my sex-friend. That’s fine. At least I know I can meet him and touch him in person every now and then.

[Amy10223]

I did visit him. :)

[EmyyWolf]

Him visiting you; is not constant access to you.
Just consider this guy your friends with benefits your bootycall, your sex friend

[Amy10223]

No. This guy is a pen pal I learn language from. He isn’t a booty call/ friends with benefits. At all. I also don’t believe in those kind of relationships. He was just there to meet me because he knew I was coming to his country and asked to meet me. Twice. He could have met more often but he was not off for work and traveled far in the bullet train.
I posed the question because I didn’t think he would be interested in me.

[Screenwriter]

Attention seeking. He gets a thrill from being paid attention to. He wants nothing more than being the center of her attention. He might verbally flirt, but that's no loss to him if he gets payback.

Stop wasting your time with such a person.

[Amy10223]

He was not attention seeking at all. He was more quiet than anything. But he was very accommodating with me and asked what it was I wanted to do or go to, and took me to those places.

[Screenwriter]

But your basic statement is the bottom line. He is NOT INTERESTED IN THE WOMAN. So why does he continue to contact her? He might like her, but that's as far as it goes. It is not a romantic relationship. He wants to be friends.

If you want MORE THAN FRIENDSHIP, this is not the person for you. If friendship WORKS FOR YOU, with no other thoughts of further involvement, then enjoy the relationship for what it is.

[NathanDavis]

it's called friendship...

I do have six of those, that are women... some more are men

and the idea is to be friends and do friendly stuff

[Finchie40]

it sounds like he just wants to be friends , he likes the conversations with her but isn’t attracted to her , because if he was attracted to her , he would
More than likely flirt with her

[RetroReviews]

It could be anything's possible he could just want to say friends he could be bored it could be a game you know the possibilities are endless

[TonyMetal___86]

It might be! Sometimes a man and a woman can be friends, even though it's rare but still can happen!
99% of my friends on the net are women 😄

[hellothere90]

He is interested in casual hookups. He likes to keep his options open and stringing along the woman.

[Amy10223]

I don't know much about his personal experiences, so I can't comment not that. He's from a different culture.

[DishLady]

You know? That is a great question. I think because we let them. Simple, right? That's it.

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

What is your answer is that you are not even excited about having sex because you want to, and that you have to?

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

I have to be honest with you about this and the truth is I have always want you to make me cum p. s. I am so glad you are well.

[Amy10223]

@IWILLPLEASEYOU who are you talking to here?

[DishLady]

(I have no idea, @Amy10223. Just ignore it.)

[Amy10223]

Good idea!

[coachTanthony]

feed his ego of course

[ProbablyClueless]

Yeah, I would say that it seems like he just wants to stay friends.

[DreamLife7]

Because the woman he wants isn't available so he's killing time with you because you allow it because you're desperate and lonely

[Amy10223]

Nope. I think he seems lonely.

[DreamLife7]

No the woman he wants isn't available. So he's killing time messaging you out of boredom until she's available. He knows you're always available and desperate enough to keep entertaining him. The question is why are you so insecure and desperate that u allow someone to use you?

[Amy10223]

I don't think you read the question. I was visiting his country, and seeing friends I have there, including him.. He asked me out twice. After that, he had to leave to go farther away to work in another prefecture. He has no other women, as far as I know, because why would he be writing to me since last August? This is every other day, both letters and in texting. You sound accusatory and judgmental. I only asked. question for opinions.

[DreamLife7]

I don't think you understand nor want to comprehend that he doesn't like you lol. Again you've been rejected hun

[Amy10223]

You're strange.

[DreamLife7]

You were rejected

[DreamLife7]

Update all u want he doesn't like u lol 🤣. Have u looked in the mirror mam?

[HelpfulWoman]

duhhhhhh
you're 67 and THIS dumb?

[Amy10223]

You’re 24 and that rude?

[HelpfulWoman]

to dumbasses with absolutely zero logic? probably, since they wouldn't know what being rude is.

[HelpfulWoman]

i'm sure your children/grandkids if you have any are always fucking embarrassed by you with this level of "intelligence". hope you didn't share it with them!

[genericname85]

yeah he could just want to be friends.

[sheikalana]

He likes the attention.

[Amy10223]

He doesn't seem like an attention seeker. He does like communication and talking about things a lot. He asked more questions about myself. It's finny that he was more flirtatious when he knew me less.

[AviatorTom]

Could be a challenge from his buddies...

[Amy10223]

How so?

[austinbooth]

I honestly think he’s harassing you.

[Amy10223]

How so?

[eagle1951]

he wants sex

[Amy10223]

I could be wrong, but I don't think so.

[loveslongnails]

He's lonely.