Does my guy friend secretly hate me?

[Anonymous]

I am in a friend group of 2 individuals, one guy and girl and we've been friends for almost 2 years. We are all in our late 20s. My guy friend though is a very interesting character. I've noticed that he treats me way differently than he treats our female friend and it concerns me because his treatment has continued to be persistent over time. My guy friend teases me (a lot) sometimes the teasing is lighthearted and other times it is mean-spirited and brash. Another thing I have noticed as well in terms of his treatment towards me is that he is very critical of me, everything I do or say he observes closely and then he either becomes hard on me, dismissive, or accusatory or presumptuous. Maybe even praiseworthy if he chooses to be.

There are times where he is extremely sweet towards me and treats me gently, gets me gifts and treats me like a princess when he wants too and then there are times where he treats me or makes me feel insecure in myself. He would not take me seriously some days either.

I've noticed that he does not treat other female friends the way that he treats me. Towards them he keeps a mellow, respectful persona. Whereas towards me, as described above it's a mixed bag of all types of emotions which are either really good or really really bad.

Don't get me started with calls/texting. 90% of the time I initiate the texting and the calling as my way of playing the role of a good friend. He does it too but not as much as me. We have a group where we communicate as friends. And he is very talkative towards me when we are in that particular group. In terms of one on one conversations, yes we would have 1hr long phone calls but who initiated the phone call? most probably me. It's little things like this that I've noticed which sort of make me question whether or not I am deceiving myself by thinking I have a friendship.

I am hoping to get the perspective of men, am I friends with a man that deeply or subconsciously does not want to be associated with me?

[kylee2437]

I mean I know you wanted men’s opinions , but it may be quite opposite, he may have a thing for you and because he has a thing for you, he zooms in on what you personally do and that’s why he’s so over the top with you. Maybe he doesn’t text as much because he doesn’t want to show his interest? Maybe he feels like his interest would ruin whatever is going on in this friend group?

[Asker]

I'm not quite sure I mean I don't think he likes me based on how he treats me which is quite the contrary

[DishLady]

Meh… friends have “on” and “off” phases … also they tend to tease different people in their group differently based on what they know about each person. Take it with a grain of salt.

[Asker]

it's a constant phase. he blatantly treats me differently.

[DishLady]

Ok, then leave.

[In_Trance]

Make no mistake if you shoot your shot, he'll rail you

[Asker]

what makes you say that?

[spartan55]

I don't get how a 'friend group' is two people?

[Asker]

how is your question relevant?

[spartan55]

It's quite relevant.

[Asker]

its me, him and another female