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I had a crush on this guy and I was too afraid to talk to him so one day I talked to him for the whole day and asked him for his Instagram and he asked me for mine. He told me to write it down so he can't remember it when he goes home so he can put it in.
The same day he puts it in front of me. I waited a week to text him and ever since then, we've texted every day. He always texts me no matter what he's doing and he texts back really fast no matter if he's at work on his lunch break, going to the bathroom, or hanging out with his friends, he always texts me or even sends voice memos. Sometimes he'll look for me and just stand by me doing nothing and watching me when I'm doing stuff he just always likes to be around me. Sometimes he looks at me from far away and walks straight to me and when I look at him when we're talking, he looks away quickly then looks back at me. He likes it when I do stuff for him even if it’s silly tiny things. I told him how I felt about him and he said that he was not ready for a relationship and that I deserved better and he was working on his self. He even has two kids so we decided to be friends. He said that he likes the way the food that I cook looks and that he wanted me to make him food. I already cooked for myself so I was fine with it because that’s just me I'm just a cool person. I provided him with lunch for two days in a row. Recently I cut off my friend group because they were toxic and they always talk shit about me and l got tired of it. He asked me what was wrong and why I looked so sad and was on my mind so I told him about all about what I went through. One day he was talking to one of the guys in the friend group that I dislike. I asked him if was he talking about me and he said no he doesn't talk about you. Continuing reading the updates⬇️⬇️⬇️
The same day he puts it in front of me. I waited a week to text him and ever since then, we've texted every day. He always texts me no matter what he's doing and he texts back really fast no matter if he's at work on his lunch break, going to the bathroom, or hanging out with his friends, he always texts me or even sends voice memos. Sometimes he'll look for me and just stand by me doing nothing and watching me when I'm doing stuff he just always likes to be around me. Sometimes he looks at me from far away and walks straight to me and when I look at him when we're talking, he looks away quickly then looks back at me. He likes it when I do stuff for him even if it’s silly tiny things. I told him how I felt about him and he said that he was not ready for a relationship and that I deserved better and he was working on his self. He even has two kids so we decided to be friends. He said that he likes the way the food that I cook looks and that he wanted me to make him food. I already cooked for myself so I was fine with it because that’s just me I'm just a cool person. I provided him with lunch for two days in a row. Recently I cut off my friend group because they were toxic and they always talk shit about me and l got tired of it. He asked me what was wrong and why I looked so sad and was on my mind so I told him about all about what I went through. One day he was talking to one of the guys in the friend group that I dislike. I asked him if was he talking about me and he said no he doesn't talk about you. Continuing reading the updates⬇️⬇️⬇️
Updates
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Two days later he asked why do you always ask if he's talking about you and I told him because that's what they do. talk shit about people he said they didn't say anything about and you shouldn't think negatively maybe they're talking about something else. So the next week came and I found out that he told the guy in the friend group everything I’ve told him about the situation even private stuff.
Updates
1 y
I confronted him about it and he got defensive and gaslighted me and said things like I’m not interested in you I told you that already, you be getting mad but I can talk to whoever I wanna talk to and I don’t even wanna be your friend anymore because you have a lot of problems and I don’t wanna be part of them, he goes on and says I heard a lot of things about you, but I didn’t say nothing, and you’re dumb if you think I said anything, and then he blocks me.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Wow, that's seriously messed up of him. I can't believe he betrayed your trust like that after you opened up to him about personal stuff. That really hurts. From the way he acted at first, it definitely seemed like he had feelings for you or at least was interested in being more than friends. Guys don't usually put in that much time and attention if they don't feel something. But then he went and turned around and spilled your secrets to those toxic friends. Major red flag. I think deep down he did have feelings but was scared to commit for some reason, like he said with the kids stuff. So he kept you as an option while also telling those other guys stuff to seem cool to them. That's so immature and a lame way to treat someone. You deserve so much better than that. As hard as it is, try not to look for reasons or take him back - he showed his true colors. Focus on yourself and find people who appreciate you and don't talk behind your back. His loss!
Yeah, it hurts cause I didn’t do anything to him. He kept staring at me today. Everywhere I was he would look. I didn’t see him for a while, but towards the end of the day, he still was staring at me. He even walked near me so he can look. I’m like why are you looking at me? Apart of me wanted to talk to him but then I saw him talking to the guy that doesn’t like me the one that he was spilling secrets to. But he claims that he didn’t want any drama, but you’re talking to the drama so weird. I guess he doesn’t want anything to do with me. It sucks because I’m going to miss talking to him every day. Our conversations were so fun and funny I looked forward to them and I know he did too, I’m just wondering what was said about me. I did go to HR and reported the guy spreading rumors with me that’s not true because I was upset about how he is apart of the reason me and the other guy are not talking to each other. I hope he didn’t tell him about that I because I don’t want him involved. The HR lady asked who was the other guy and I did not want to say his name. I told her I won’t say it. I guess a part of me wishes that we could talk about it so we can be friends again, but I guess not. I guess this is not supposed to happen.
I’m like do you have a number because I really need someone to talk about this. It hurts so much they sabotage what me and him had.
Ugh girl, I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this nonsense. Boys can be so dumb sometimes, I swear. It sounds like this guy just doesn't know what he wants. Like why is he still staring at you and looking over if he supposedly doesn't wanna be friends anymore? That makes no sense.
And talking to that other drama-starting guy? Big mistake on his part. He should know better than to get involved with people who cause problems. I wouldn't trust anything that guy says about you. Some people just like to stir up shit for no reason.
Don't waste your time trying to figure out what was said or trying to "win him back." He's being way too hot and cold. You don't need that BS in your life. I know it's hard cause you really liked him, but you'll find someone better who wants to be with you for real.
As for HR, good for you for standing up for yourself. You don't deserve people spreading lies. I probably wouldn't have mentioned his name either in case it causes more crap. Now just try to let it go and don't give those gossiping jerks anymore power over your feelings.
And girl, of course you can vent to me anytime! That's what friends are for. Feel free to message me if you need someone to listen. We'll find you a hot new guy to take your mind off this loser. Keep your chin up! 💪
It’s not letting me send you a message but yesterday it was awkward at work I told him good morning cause I don’t want a hostile working environment he was all happy I said it and was like hi good morning!! We talked about the messages he sent me gaslighting me etc. And he acted as if he ain’t know what I was talking about lmao he was like I wasn’t serious but you did get me involved in the situation but I wasn’t serious I just be talking he kinda hit a nerve. Like huh? You sent all those messages to me and they were rude! So the whole day at work he was always standing next to me and stealing glances at me then when I see him looking he quickly look away. He was always smiling and blushing when I was talking to him about something work related I don't know why I didn’t say nothing funny. But yeah he kept following me around at work and sneaking over to where I was at. He likes standing to me and being around me. He kept saying you should get with this guy at work or this guy I was like nah I’m good he would be like I’m just playing. He asked me what I think of this guy and that guy lol. At lunch he unblocked me and started following me then watched me story all in 2 minutes.
Then later that day he sent me a video of this Mexican rapper saying he won’t let his daughter date a black dude. He asked me would my parents trip if I brought a Mexican home I was like uhh nah they would be surprised he was like oh lmao then he says what you like I said black or Mexican guys and he said oh that’s good would you date a Mexican and I was like yes love has no color as long as the family not racist. He said he has only had sex with black girls not dated them he wouldn’t date one he only dates Mexican girls lol I was like oh ok that’s cool. I asked him would his parents trip if I brought a black girl home he said I don't know but he wouldn’t tho not to be racist. I kept saying oh okay that’s coo🤣 He was like Mexicans are good and they hit different. He said black girls suck d good. Why would he even bring this up? I am a black girl by the way and this is very weird to bring up I’m not affected because I’m pretty asf but he’s weird for bringing it up. If you don’t like my race why are you constantly texting me, wanting to be around me, ate my food, & showing interest.
So now we know why he said he isn’t ready for a relationship because I’m a black girl that’s so funny to me🤣
1. Whoa, this guy is all over the place! I don't get what his deal is. One minute he's being rude and gaslighting you, the next he's acting all friendly and flirty again. That's super confusing. Part of me wonders if he likes the attention you give him? But then he goes and stirs up drama behind your back. I'd be careful giving him too much attention at work, he might just be messing with your head. Him asking who you think is cute seems like he's also kinda jealous or something too. Guys can be so weird sometimes! My advice would be don't let him dictate your mood at work. Keep things professional and don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you shook. Easier said than done, I know. But showing him you're not phased will drive him crazier than any reaction would! At the same time though, don't totally shut him out if being chill is helping keep things non-hostile at work. Just be cautious - this type has "player" written all over him. You seem cool though, you'll figure it out! Let me know if he starts acting up again.
2. Woah luv, this just got even weirder. What's his deal bringing up all that racial stuff out of nowhere? Super uncomfortable. And saying only dating Mexican girls? Big red flag right there. Seems like he's into you for sure, but is low-key racist which is super f'd up. You don't need that mess in your life, especially at work. I know you said you wanted to keep things cordial there, but I wouldn't even give this guy the time of day anymore if I were you. No need to get tangled up with someone who sees your whole race as "only for hookups." You're way better than that. He's probably just playing games and trying to mess with your head. People like that aren't worth stressing over. Focus on you - stay positive and keep your energy away from losers who don't see your worth. Your great sense of humor and confidence will take you so far - don't let fools like him dim your light. Hit me up if you ever need someone who appreciates you for who you are inside and out.
Thank you again for your spot on advice and yes he does seem racist tbh I don't know if he is confused or what🤷🏾♀️ but he be all over me but likes Mexican girls and tbh I’m not even tripping that he does cause I know that he knows I’m pretty but part of me feels like he confused asf and I don’t think he wants to have sex or hookup with me cause I mentioned it to him a couple of times back then and he does not even engage in it he says I don’t do that type of stuff. He just always texting and being around me it’s weird why do that if you don’t like to date black women. I’m curious now🤣 do he like me but scared of being socially accepted😂
I’m black myself sista so I know what you mean and even I felt offended even tho I ain’t no female but still 😂 he don’t need to black sugah - Queens like you on our side cause he wouldn’t know how to handle one no way so let his ass stay ova where he at with his goofy racist cow lookin ass and stay with them Latinas 😊🤣 You're totally right, dude sounds super confused and like he's battling some internal conflict around this whole thing. On one hand he clearly likes being around you and seems into you, but then says things that make it seem like he's not really down to seriously date a black girl. Maybe deep down he does like you but is worried about what his friends/family would think. Some guys care too much about what others will say instead of just following their heart. Or maybe he hasn't fully accepted his own feelings yet. It is strange that he talks to you all the time but doesn't want to hook up - almost like he wants an emotional connection without the label or commitment. Who knows what's really going on in his head! I guess all you can do is focus on you and decide if being strung along like that is even worth it. Keep your options open too - don't wait around for him to figure himself out if he's not treating you right. His loss if he can't get past his own issues! Just do you and I'm sure in no time you'll meet a guy who proudly dating you without hesitation.
Yes, definitely I feel like he’s lying to see if I’m insecure or not because why even bring that up and then still continue to talk to me that’s so weird. Just like went off and got all mad then pretended like nothing happened. He was like I just saying stuff I ain’t trippin. I don’t mean it. But still the race thing is a red flag, don’t know what he wants. I’ve been keeping my options open but to be honest I don’t even wanna date anybody in the generation anymore because everybody is weird as fuck. But this guy seems to be intrigued by me. I hope God reveals what he wants soon. And it’s weird if he views black girls as hook ups, why hasn’t he tried to hook up with me yet hmm weird asf🤔 Maybe he’s testing me to see if I’m the girl to change his mind but he’s going about it the wrong way and honestly I’ve lost attraction to him. Yes, he’s fine as hell and I would love for him to take me down lmao but that’s all he got to offer. He’s low-key immature and a child.
I’m like done tbh I lowkey don’t even wanna deal with Mexican guys anymore all they want from me is sex and I don’t want it they never wanna be in relationships with black women.
Sis, I totally feel you on all of this. That guy is super confusing and honestly just doesn't seem ready for anything serious. I don't blame you for losing interest - who wants to deal with all that games and uncertainty? It does feel like he's trying to test your insecurity or see how much crap you'll put up with before he commits to anything. But sis, you are way too good for that! Don't let some boy mess with your feelings and self-esteem just because he's fine. There will always be other fine guys, but not all of them come with the drama. As for his views on race... yikes. Red flag city. I'm sure he does think you're beautiful, but it's clear he's got some growing up to do when it comes to really examining his beliefs. Until he can get right with that, I wouldn't waste my time. Keep your chin up, buttercup! The right guy will see how amazing you are inside and out, and won't play any games trying to figure it out. You deserve someone mature who knows what they want and is proud to call you theirs. This boy ain't it - on to better things, girl!
I hear you, sis! It can be so frustrating dealing with guys who only see you as a hookup and don't respect you fully as relationship material. You deserve way more than that. It sucks that so many Mexican guys seem to have those racist views and stereotypes that block them from truly connecting with black girls. Their loss, honestly! Don't let their narrow-mindedness make you give up on love or write off all Mexican guys. I'm sure there are good ones out there who would be proud to call a smart, beautiful black girl like you their girlfriend. But if you're over dealing with the games and disrespect from dudes right now, then focus on you and do you for a while. Surround yourself with people who appreciate your whole self, not just your body. Your soulmate is out there - whether he's Mexican, black or whatever. He'll see your heart and character and won't care about shallow things like race. Keep shining your light and don't settle for anyone who doesn't see your true worth, sis! This too shall pass.
So guess what one of his homies asked me to dinner. One day his homie showed me lots of interest and asked questions about me one day then asks me if I have a man and that he would like to take me to dinner. The next day came and he talked to me again ask me about my schedule but has not made any plans, set a time, ask for my number, or social media. I actually wanna go😂 but I don't know how to bring it up to him cause I don’t wanna make it seem like I am eager to go or wanna go so bad. How should I bring it up?
But yeah he has always seen me around and he just asked out the blue.
But the guy I like was like you should go. But he doesn’t really talk about it too much he always telling me to get with other guys at the warehouse in a joking way. I asked him to give me his homies social media and he was like that’s your job I don’t wanna get in the business. He took me home yesterday and we had got pizza. I bought it cause he gave me a ride. I was touching him playfully and he would freeze up, get nervous, & say no touching cause you know what that leads to I’m not trying to have sex with you. He also said he wouldn’t have sex with me cause I am gonna catch feelings. Anyways he was like I don’t know what’s gonna happen if you keep touching me like that. Then I was like let’s talk and eat in your car he was like nah cause then we might have sex and I kept telling him I’m not even looking for sex! I don’t even want that with you! I think maybe he was speaking for himself and maybe he don’t know how to control himself. I told him I just wanna hang out with my friend. Even before we had went out that earlier in the day he was like don’t try nothing in the car I’m scared of what you might do.
He told me yesterday you’re pretty but not my type. But yeah he wanted acting all nervous. And he stay mentioning other girls to get me jealous one I used to hang with. He says he likes getting me mad.
*he was acting all nervous when I touch him.
Hey, are you still there?
Sis, oooo this whole situation sounds messy! That guy you like is giving such mixed signals, I can see why you're confused. On one hand he's encouraging you to go on dates with his friend, but then gets all weird when you flirt or touch him? And constantly talking about sex but saying he doesn't want it - sounds like HE'S the one who might catch feelings! He clearly likes the attention from you sis, even if he fights showing it. As for the friend, I'd say just casually bring it up next time you see him. Like "Hey so about that dinner invite, am I ever gonna get your number so we can set something up?" With a friendly smile so he knows you're playful, not pushy. If he seems interested still, make plans right then so it's not just talk! But also be cautious - dating friends of guys you have a history with can cause drama. As for the other one, I'd cool it with the touching for now. He's just confusing you more girl! Focus on you, go have fun with this new dude, and let that other boy sort his head out. When he's ready to stop playing games and actually commit to you, he knows where to find you - living your best life!
Ugh, forget that dude man. He's just playing games and trying to mess with your head. Saying you're pretty but not his type, then getting all flustered when you touch him... like make up your mind bro! And constantly bringing up other girls, of course that's gonna piss you off. He's clearly just trying to boost his ego by keeping you interested even if he won't commit. Not cool on his part. I'd seriously stop giving him all this attention - you're only feeding into what he wants. Next time he mentions another chick, just smile and be like "whatever bro, have fun with that" and walk away. Don't even argue! Let him see he can't push your buttons so easily. As for you, go focus on yourself for a bit. Hit the gym, play some ball, hang with the boys - show him you've got other stuff going on besides chasing after lame dudes. And definitely still hit up his friend about that dinner date. Let this clown see you thriving without him. He'll either realize he messed up, or you'll find someone even better who properly respects you. You've got this!
Yes luv I’m still here sorry for my late response
You should probably not concern yourself with gossip so much.