Do single mothers pick the wrong guys for their child's father or does the guy hide who he really is?

[Anonymous]

[Datboi65]

The problem falls on both of them. It takes 2 people to create a child. I think the problem cannot only be that the woman is choosing the wrong man, but that unfortunately it's not acknowledged enough.

A man lying and acting like a scumbag is nothing new, because players exist. 50 years ago your dad would've dealt with that punk before you ever laid with him. Since the culture has now shifted towards more independence, more choices also mean that you can make a wrong choice that can affect your life negatively. By removing the filter/protective barrier that screens your interactions with the opposite gender, you accept that some bad ones can now have potential to fool you and get their way. It's true that a man knows another man, which is why the requirement of waiting for marriage did not come out of nowhere.

Just like bad guys in the dating scene, there are bad people everywhere. Thiefs, burglars, murderers who for one reason or another are just set on being bad. I think we can blame these people for being bad and irresponsible, but I don't think they will actually listen to us and change their ways. Therefore, your protection must be your priority. You're the one who gets pregnant, not him. You need to care MORE about who you pick because he can easily dip if he wants to. A man will want to protect himself from child support (if he's responsible), but a woman should prepare herself for the worst case scenario because she will carry the child and raise them by herself if he leaves her. You cannot turn a bum into a productive member of society, and you cannot tell me that you were really "fooled" by someone if your standards for a person were not strict to begin with.

As a man I take responsibility for everything I do. I don't sleep around and I don't chase random women. If I did hypothetically get someone pregnant (which would never happen), I will only blame myself for it, because I cannot change that person and why they did what they did, and because in that scenario I wouldn't have prepared to prevent the worst possible outcome since I can only control my actions and not hers. If she's one of those psychotic girls that poke holes in condoms, bring your own. You get the idea.

[Anonymous]

This just depends on the woman it genuinely does. It’s the same way that men choose horrible women but there are also women who are good at hiding who they are, in fact I would say there are more women who are better at it then the average man is, but that’s just on average.

There are women who I guess they have fun with the type of men who could give a shit less about her. It’s fun, it’s exciting, it’s getting her off in the bedroom. But the consequences of having children with men like this is that these men don’t make good fathers or husbands. They’re cowards they don’t even want to pay child support much less see his own damn kids. I do respect the woman though for not killing her baby.

There are those women though let’s say she marries a guy he’s just perfect he’s her soulmate. He just pretends to be everything she ever wanted in a guy. But then one day he just takes that away form her and leaves, becomes abusive, or cheats. So she divorced him or he divorced her. That I feel so bad for and unfortunately this happens to BOTH sexes.

There is also rape. If a woman is forced to have sex and has a baby out of it this is not her fault.

There are some people though that make bad choices to see the error of their way and hold themselves accountable. All of us are sinners so if someone still feels shame, remorse, regret, and the list goes on. They repent and change their life then God bless that woman (or man) and I wish them the best.

Unfortunately there are those people who just don’t feel that anymore some I feel are indifferent while others seem to enjoy evil. They love to play the victim to make people feel sorry for them but they never really take accountability for the things they have done. Many of these women start to HATE men. It’s like the female version of incels.

[alice55]

The guy hide who he really is that's obvious. Some women might not be the brightest but guys in those situation are manipulative selfish assholes.

[Anonymous]

People (both women and men) tell you who they are if you truly pay attention, no matter how much they try to hide it.

I would say with women you're at a biological disadvantage. I think the very thing that allows women to bond to men and allows then to tolerate some of the stupid things we do (without divorcing us, dumping us, etc) is the same thing that hamstrings women when it comes to pair bonding. Because women would rather double down on a bad hand rather than folding it when she's established a bond.

So maybe the guy may hide who he is. But I PROMISE you he gave you signs. In her feelings though she probably blew right past all of them.

It's no coincidence that the same women seem to me bad men again, and again, and again. Because most of these women's go to is he, "he lied to me blah, blah, blah". Never taking responsibility for the role SHE played in the relationship. Generally the women who repeat this pattern have a very poor understanding of what a quality man is to begin with. Because it's pretty likely she's never had a good example of a strong male role model in her life to begin with.

[Serkee]

Both, and neither. Most of the time single mothers don't intentionally choose to have kids, they just have irresponsible sex.

[ProbablyClueless]

Women have an unfortunate habit of falling in love with what men could be... not what they are... what they could be.

[LiamJHayden]

Both occur, plus the single mom might be widowed or someone who divorced after she was cheated on or someone who adopted a deceased sibling's or friend's child (ren).

[ChicoFromThe305]

It can go either way, it all results in the same outcome

[Staximus]

Any woman who has a kid with a guy that she hasn't lived with for at least a year is dumber than a bag of hammers

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Is a combo of both most of the time.

The woman is lacking in smarts and the man is pretending to be a good guy when in reality he's a p. o. s.

[OddBeMe]

It’s 50/50 of desperately seeking love and not doing due diligence on a potential mate.

[Nikki1989]

Both happen and happen often.

[EmmaMary]

Works both ways.

[Fireguy17]

Yes, having unprotected sex does not help either.

[HelpfulWoman]

can be either.

[jahaims]

Both