Why do men lose interest when you show a lot of interest in them?

[Anonymous]

Do men like being ignored?

[ManOnFire]

So this is something I can say happens with both men and women. When you show a lot of affection/attention, something happens where the other person starts to drift away. It could be because they take it for granted, feel frightened by you loving them so much, or maybe even feel irritated by it. I too experienced women who lost interest the more I seemed to show it for them.

This is why there are rules to the art of love. And it's why people talk about showing just enough love/attention to keep the other person coming back. It really is something of a psychological effect and is the reason why No Contact does work on most people: when you show less and less care and interest, it sparks something in the other person and makes them want to come after you and get that love and care, but when you overdo it they drift away. All things in moderation.

[82lynx]

I don’t think that’s ever happened with me. However, when girls paid any attention to me at all, some would test their appeal on me to boost their own egos. Incidentally, during my first year of high school, in the cafeteria, I was asked by someone in a group of students if I thought a certain girl was pretty. Smelling a rat I said no, and then I was asked how I could be so cold. Minutes later I saw said girl in the hallway just outside the caf, sitting in some guy’s lap in one of those old-style wood desks. Pot, meet kettle.

[DishLady]

BECAUSE guy's like to chase. It's part of their primal instincts. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES guys pretend that they're cool with a girl approaching them... THEY are natural hunters. It's like asking a scorpion not to sting shit. They're wired to do X. Let them do it. My goodness...

[getpucksin]

I disagree I like when somebody comes to me first

[edmwarrior]

Common misconception by women. I agree with @getpucksin on this one

[Juxtapose]

That's dead wrong. A lot of more humble or shy men HATE being the ones forced to show initiative. I LOVE and REWARD interest shown to me.

[DishLady]

Guys... it's called "an opinion" for a reason. You can stop trolling now. Thanks.

[getpucksin]

It's called an opinion that other people have the right to reply to for a reason lol? Why are you defensive

[SweetJoyGirl]

That is in the category of playing games. I don’t do that shi. I drop him really fast.

[VIVANT]

👍👍

[Account]

People mostly want what they can't have.

[Account]

Once they get it it is like "Meh" after some time. The thrill is gone. A truth that is very hard to accept. ✨🤷🏻‍♀️

[VIVANT]

I think for people who are not comfortable with themselves get uneasy with affection attention bc they don’t understand where it comes from and don’t want to be at the mercy of it stopping.

They pull away preemptively to feel control and to slow down the bond.. when you pull away it makes them feel comfortable getting close again bc there is no development. Like one step forward two steps back. It creates the illusion of control but what it really is, is stunted development.

This will not work in committed relationships. People will need time to themselves but this is not a reaction against affection which you’d need from a partner. Imagine you are suck and they get a feeling to pull away.

It’s rather unwell behavior... Well regulated nervous systems don’t need games to feel comfortable. The push and pull stuff is normal in the beginning when no one is sure what’s going on or when it’s just a fling or when someone just wants games… but in committed relationships if someone bolts bc you are attentive, there is a deeper problem.

keep in mind people will not always be honest and sometimes pulling away is just passive aggressive bc they are punishing for something unrelated. Or they may pull away bc they want to break up.

Boundaries are important and should be discussed. If someone just randomly pulls away than they are looking for conflict avoiding confrontation avoiding accountability, or just want games.

There nothing good about studying with no reason and no explanation but. Adult children do this bc they never learned not to bc they get rewarded for it. People believe it’s natural, they will accommodate it. It’s a grift.

[Summeroflove]

I think there’s plenty of women who do this too. No, if someone’s genuinely interested they don’t want to be ignored. It just depends on how much attention. If you’re crossing boundaries then yeah that’s a good way to chase someone off, a example would be texting or calling at some forsaken hour of the night/morning without a good reason such as a emergency.

Some people just loose interest if they had any. Other times maybe he wasn’t interested at all in you in that way, so when you started showing it he didn’t know how to react. It’s best for people to be direct but not everyone is.

[dragoblack]

It's the levels of affection, types of attraction, and timing.
When a guy gets home from work he just wants to relax. The best kind of affection is the kind that helps him relax.
If he is enjoying a hobby there is always the option of joining him in that hobby or asking to cuddle or whatever kind of affection later once he is done andgoing to do your own hobby. Guys like to keep focused if we are working on something we are immersed in.

If it's movie night or just shows, that is the time for the most physical intimacy and affection if the movie or tv show isn't getting good with the story

[Anonymous]

It could be a number of reasons. Maybe he just liked the thought of you liking him but then you actually pursued it now he doesn’t like it. Two it could be he was never interested to begin w. Three you’re showing lots of interest, key word “lots.” Meaning you’re too much. You’re needy, smothering him.

[bobby_bush_eater]

I can't relate but often times guys kind of fantasize what the girl they may chase is like them quickly give up in reality when they get what they wanted (not meaning sex but attention in general).

I've seen several of my friends do this.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I simply don't believe you.

[Anonymous]

NO.


Men do not like being ignored. There was this girl I liked but she kept going from hot to cold. That was enough to make me give up. We absolutely hate playing games. Most men prefer direct communication. We're not into beating around the bush, mind games, or being two-faced.


This is why you usually see men be upfront and handle issues directly. If you actually win a guy by those type of mind games, he's probably a pansy.

[Conqueeftador]

You subtly show him that he is the prize and then he starts thinking "I might do better"

So, keep it simple and let him come to you you just have to show him once that you are interested in him and if he really want to be with you he will slog his ass to you.

[rgii55447]

Because I was never interested in the first place, you just aren't the one. Now I have to figure out how to tell you that, and I don't like talking these days.

[spartan55]

They don't like you as much as you like them. So they won't care if you ignore them.

[Levin]

You could make the same argument the other way around.

Really, mature relationships aren't about childish game playing.

[Lynx122]

No I like a girl who likes me a lot but there's a limit. I need some alone time too if it's too much then it sabotages my whole life.

[Berethor]

I prefer balance, if she too obsessed it can be annoying, if she ignoring I think she don't me.

[zagor]

I've never lost interest when someone shows interest in me, IF I was interested in them in the first place. If they show interested and aren't my type, then I won't have lost interest, I'll never have had it in the first place.

[AmeerX]

If I develop feelings, I get obsessive and that's when girls back off so I learn to be cool except with very beautiful girl now.

[HawkPerception]

Not sure what men you're talking to, but when someone shows me interest, I give them mine

[Nikki1989]

Nobody wants to be ignored. That is some real twisted logic.

[Richarding]

Only those who are emotionless and insensitive lose.

[Ms_Facesitter]

He doesn't lose interest if he likes you. Just don't rush things if he isn't ready yet.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Did you show interest when he was interested?
Did you lead him on and waste his time?
Be honest

[Anonymous]

We don't "lose interest". We never had interest in the first place, so when a woman we are not interested in begins to show interest in us, we don't want to lead her on so we distance ourselves.

[firenine909]

The same reason women lose interest when you show a lot of interest in them

[Quidthonian]

Too much attention. I am an introvert, and I do want some time alone to recharge my social batteries.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you are misinterpreting their interest or you are giving off confusing signals.

[Surferboi_02]

Its not that we lose interest it is that we actually didn't expect you girls to take interest so we get nervous and trip up.

[talk4m3]

they might feel overwhelmed, they might think you're too overbearing or clingy, or they just realize they aren't really into you after being exposed to more of you.

[_AWP_]

I don't think this is gender specific since the same can happen the other way around. Just that specific person doesn't share the same feelings you do.

[Iron_Man]

Because they want to punish you for taking so long to respond back to them

[scott04sa22]

Simple I have no interests with the person in question. That's why ignore them

[fuddly]

Men don't want to be suffocated
That want to know you like them in no uncertain terms
And then leave them alone
🙂

[Anonymous]

Because they were never really that interested to begin with. When she starts getting serious, he backs off so as not to lead her on.

[Anonymous]

For the same reason women lose interest when you show a lot of interest in them.

Make better choices.

[Pohjolan]

What do you mean by showing a lot of interest?

[dailyoctopus94]

Not at all, I love being wanted. I want to give you more attention then.

[MyBrainsInsaneReign]

Guys are used to pursuing women, and you can't pursue someone who isn't running away.

[dustybiker2]

Nobody wants full attention.

[WhitneySnow]

They like to be the hunter

[paledreams]

Disagree, the looks and attitude matters woman ♀️

[jahaims]

Only immature people are that way

[dudeinohio]

No. I like attention.

[Jamie05rhs]

There's something wrong with him.

[Jmmmfi4]

DEFINITELY NO

[Deserter2]

It's human nature, the chase is over

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is oblivious about it

[jackieistired]

This is so true omg

[LiamJHayden]

I don't.