AIAHA for standing up against the jerk?

[happyfoetus]

Last year, after my brother passed away following a month on life support, a man named A, a friend of my cousin, started frequenting our home. A would travel long distances daily to visit us in the hospital. He is a contractor, and my parents appointed him for some maintenance work. He began calling them 'Uncle/Aunt.

However, things soon took a turn. We gave A more contracts and made him my parents' part-time driver. He seized every opportunity to get closer. A is in his late 30s, married with two kids, and has a questionable past. He eloped with his wife when she was just 18 and boasts about her dropping out of school to marry him. He believes women should stay home and have children. A has a history of criminal behavior and failed business ventures, and he struggles financially. He often mocks and offends others, especially women.

A eventually started teaching me to drive. During one lesson, he suggested I should get married and spoke in a controlling tone until my father intervened. When my father was away, A asked if I had a boyfriend. Then at a housewarming event, A again brought up marriage. Despite my cousin’s attempts to stop him, A continued until my brother intervened, leading to a confrontation.

I asked my parents to address A’s behavior, but they dismissed my concerns. On the third driving lesson, while my mother was present, A made disturbing comments insisted that I should prioritize marriage and children over education and career. His loud, degrading comments went on for ten minutes until my mother finally intervened, though she had been silent throughout.

After this incident I eventually called A to ask him to stop, he mocked me. Despite his intimidation verbal cuss, I made it clear that I would involve the authorities if necessary. My father, when informed, told A to stop interfering in our private lives, which led A to cease visiting our home.

Although A stopped coming to our house, my mother is upset, saying he only suggested marriage.

[Oliverlogan263]

You did the right thing standing up to A. No one, especially not some older man, has a right to talk to you that way or try to control your life. It's great that you were able to clearly tell him his behavior was unacceptable and that you wouldn't tolerate any more harassment. You shouldn't feel bad at all for sticking up for yourself - that took guts! I know it's probably not easy dealing with family drama too, but you've got to do what makes you feel safe and respected. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about having boundaries. This guy obviously had some weird ideas about women and seemed like bad news. I'm sure it couldn't have been an easy situation, but you handled it really well. Be proud of yourself for not backing down!

[SueShe]

I don't know the meaning of the abbreviation AIAHA but this is probably not relevant to my answer.

No, you were absolutely right to defend yourself against that person toxic behavior. A person that slimes his way into your life and the life of your family and then practically imposes his view onto them is the kind of toxic person I would definitely not want to be part of my family.

He is more than just a slime ball and your mother should have intervened much earlier and not taken his defense. She knows exactly what his aim was and by being upset at your reaction, she indirectly supports and endorses his behavior.

[dudeinohio]

What you did was right. If someone treats you wrong, defend yourself.