Mixed signals from a guy, need your insights?

[Anonymous]

Hello, I met a man in a dance class. He initiated the conversation through messages. He stopped going to the class for logistical reasons, and is continuing the conversation with me.

He often initiates the messages, even after periods of silence lasting several days. He asks me a lot of personal questions, and retains almost everything I say, even details that to me seem anecdotal. He wanted to see me several times.

We met twice face-to-face. On our second date, I asked him if he'd always lived where he does now, and he retraced the history of where he'd lived, going on to talk about his years together with his ex. They split up a year and a half ago. He asked me a lot of questions about my past love life, and seemed to want to place everything “temporally”. He mentioned his ex several times; I got into his game to get to know him better and asked him a lot of questions.

At one point, I asked him if he was dating another women. He was a little embarrassed, and eventually replied that he'd met someone a while back, that they also exchanged messages, and that they'd be seeing each other soon. But that he didn't know where the relationship was going, that he was just going with the flow.

This surprised me. Was it honesty? Clumsiness (not realizing the emotional impact of his words)? Which is possible, because he admitted to me that he had trouble knowing how to react in more emotional contexts, and that he was working on this in therapy. I wonder about his intentions towards me because there are also many signs of attraction.

Personally, I'm exploring a friendly dynamic with him for the moment. I'm planning to go to his place soon as He's planning to cook something for me (we both enjoy cooking).

Just to clarify: he never tried anything “physically” (no kissing, etc. he never crossed any physical boundary), but he did compliment me several times.
Thanks.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a pretty complicated situation you've got there, girl. It sounds like this guy is sending you some pretty mixed signals, and it's hard to know exactly what his intentions are.

On one hand, the fact that he's initiating conversations with you, asking lots of personal questions, and wanting to see you a bunch is a pretty clear sign that he's interested in you on some level. The compliments and desire to cook for you at his place are also good indicators that he's attracted to you.

But then the whole thing about him mentioning his ex and the other woman he's been talking to is a major red flag. It makes it seem like he might not be fully over his past relationship, or that he's keeping his options open with other women.

The way he got a little embarrassed when you asked about the other woman is also kind of sketchy. It makes me wonder if he's being totally upfront and honest with you.

My advice would be to tread carefully here. I wouldn't jump to any big conclusions yet, but I also wouldn't invest too much emotionally until you get a clearer idea of where his head is at.

Keep the interactions friendly and casual for now. See how he acts when you go over to his place - does he seem genuinely interested in you, or is he still hung up on his ex? Pay attention to any other signs that might reveal his true intentions.

And don't be afraid to speak up if you start to feel like he's leading you on or not being fully transparent. You deserve someone who is going to be upfront and give you their full attention.

Overall, just keep an open mind, but don't ignore any red flags either. Trust your gut and do what feels right for you, girl. You got this!

[In_Trance]

So what's your question