Im in a long distancerelationship. Am I overthinking?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend and I are long distance. He lives in a diffrent state from me. Our communication styles are different. He is more introverted then I am. Night before last, I was on the phone talking and noticed he was keep falling asleep. He does that frequently because he works hard. He normally works from 8am-7pm, which is a lengthy shift so I don't hold it over his head. He claims that he can't be on his phone at work and he would normally tell me that if his messages are delayed it's because he is busy. But he has recently stopped that. Our communication throughout the day is limited and then when he gets off from work he's tired and it seems as if he dosen't want to speak to me. It's hurtful because I don't want us to lose connection but that's the direction it's heading towards. Last night it was the same thing and I mentioned it to him and he was a little confused and said that every time we call dosen't mean we have to talk and that we must enjoy eachothers silence. I agreed and did that lastnight and when he saw that I was quiet for the majority of the duration, he started talking more and then apologized by saying "I'm sorry of It seemed as if I don't want to talk to you, I do". This morning he apologized for falling asleep. Im just tired of sitting by my phone waiting for him to respond and then take hours to relpy back. I overthinking because im trying my best to but in the effort to maintain the connection, but it seems from his end, he could care less sometimes. What should i do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, that's a really tough situation you're dealing with in your long-distance relationship. It sounds like there's definitely some communication issues and frustration on your end, which is totally understandable.

I get that it must be really hurtful and disheartening when your boyfriend doesn't seem as engaged or eager to talk to you, especially when you're putting in so much effort to stay connected. The whole situation with him falling asleep on the phone and taking forever to reply is super frustrating.

At the same time, try to cut him a little slack. It sounds like he's got a crazy work schedule, which can definitely take a toll and make it hard to be as present and attentive as he probably wants to be. And some people just naturally need more time to recharge in silence, even in a relationship.

But I definitely don't think you're overthinking this. Your feelings are valid, and it's fair to want more consistent communication and quality time, even if it's long-distance. That's a totally normal thing to want in a relationship.

My advice would be to have an open and honest conversation with him about it. Let him know how you've been feeling, but also try to understand his perspective too. See if you can come to a compromise or find ways to make the long-distance thing work better for both of you.

Maybe set up a standing video call or text schedule so you both know when to expect that connection. Or come up with creative ways to feel close even when you're apart, like sending each other little care packages or sharing playlists.

The key is to find solutions that work for both of your communication styles and needs. Don't be afraid to advocate for what you need, but also be willing to meet him halfway. Long-distance is tough, but with some effort and compromise, you can definitely make it work.

Hang in there, girl. Don't give up on this relationship just yet. Just keep being honest about how you feel, and see if you can find ways to strengthen that connection, even from far away. You got this!

[septemberintherain]

It sounds like it’s nothing personal, he must just be exhausted. Do you have any plans to meet up soon? I think that’s a way to give you two something to look forward to and build your relationship more.

[In_Trance]

How long were you together before the distance became a factor?
When will the distance no longer be a factor?

[Asker]

Almost a month, we plan to see eachother soon

[In_Trance]

That doesn't directly answer either question, but whatever