Should I end this or continue talking to him basically on his terms?

[Anonymous]

I was going out with this guy for a month we went on dates and hung out together basically everyday for a month. He left to Europe for a trip with his family for a month and since he’s been gone he’s barely reached out to me. When before he left he told me he would call and face time me. He reaches out very little and I don’t know if it’s because he is genuinely busy like he says he is or if he lost interest. I texted him saying I thought it wasn’t nice that he didn’t reach out once and he apologized and said he really likes me and hanging with me but he’s just so busy. He’s coming back in a couple days and we don’t really talk that much anymore. Im hurt and i don’t feel the same way i did about him before he left. I don’t understand why men say things but so obviously a lie because there actions don’t match up with there words. Last thing I said was hope ur having a great time. See you when ur back maybe. And he just said yeah everything going well might buy a factory here! And didn’t answer my see you when ur back. I answered and said cool! Why do u need a factory tho lol. And he hasn’t answered. I don’t wanna play games but I don’t wanna come off to strong either. When he answers considering he’s probably gonna be dry as usual should I even answer his text? Or should I stop answering and if he cares he’ll reschedule out again?

[Anonymous]

Honestly sounds like you came off too strong right from the start. He said he’d call you, but didn’t say how much. Your idea of how much is good enough is let probably on the same spectrum as far as what he thinks is good enough. He’s on vacation w his family. Maybe I'm wrong but for you to make him feel guilty. I don’t get why women do this. He’s on vacation w family, stop making this about you. If anything you’re pushing him away especially after you said you’d see him when him comes back, maybe. Doesn’t even sound like you know him well enough to drop your feelings on him like that. It’s only been a month. Now you’re expecting him to check in. You’re 10 steps ahead of him.

[Asker]

Well he didn’t call at all so I feel like I had a reason to say that. He was telling me how much he liked me and stuff so I just thought it would be normal for him to reach out a little. Anyways it’s been like 5 days and he hasn’t texted me at all so no I don’t think this is my fault. It’s rude that he told me all these things and doesn’t even end up texting me at all basically ghosting me. There’s a way to go about things if he was really that busy he could have said so or if he was no longer interested he could have said something aswell

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe he told you those things to get you off his back because you were probably making it a big deal that he was going on vacation. Could also be that he realized you were a handful. Maybe he met someone else on his vacation. Whatever the reason is sounds like maybe you’re not the one.

[Asker]

Get me off his back? I mentioned it once likeeee it’s not that big of a deal and if he can’t handle a conversation he’s just immature. If he wasn’t interested he should have told me. He lied to me so he can sleep with me and once he got what he wanted he didn’t care how is actions made me feel.

[Opinion Owner]

To you it’s not that big of a deal. Women don’t understand for some reason that men have their own thoughts. To you it might not be a big deal, to him it may be. Not handling a conversation doesn’t make you immature. Maybe he just don’t want to deal w it. I’m sure you don’t agree w me calling you immature for not leaving him alone on his vacation, that you couldn’t even survive w out that attention. No you wouldn’t.

[Asker]

Well I have lol. So tell me this why would he make promises he doesn’t keep? If he’s not gonna actually go through with them? I texted him once about a week and a half ago he told me he was sorry and I said it’s fine dw I just wanted to tell u how I felt. Tell me why he would agree and apologize to the things I said if he was just gonna end up ghosting me? Why couldn’t he just be like I don’t owe u anything and I don’t really want anything with u. That would have honestly made me feel better knowing it was over instead of him acting like he really likes me to just end up ghosting me. That makes sense to you? A mature man would do that?

[Opinion Owner]

Because believe it or not people lie at times. He may have just been saying that to string you along to try to sleep w you. Maybe he was going to but changed his mind. People do change their mind as well. I’m not him. All I know is if a man is delay into someone he will find the time to text or call her especially in the beginning stages of a potential new relationship. You weren’t worth the time I’m assuming. Even if he told you what you said about him not owing you nothing, you wouldn’t have taken that well. Men know they can’t be honest w women. Women always say men should be honest w them but when men are honest in a majority of cases women can’t handle it.

[Asker]

Well I haven’t known him for that long so if he was honest with me I would be totally ok with whatever u he told me. What confuses me is that when I did mention that he wasn’t reaching out. He was apologetic and telling me he missed me and really liked me and loved hanging with me. He kept acting like he really really liked me to just slowly stop texting me and end up ghosting me. It’s been like a week now that I’ve been ghosted. And I kinda wanna text him and be like there’s no way u actually ghosted me. Do you think I should do that or is that stupid? Or should I say something else? Like I’m sorry but to pretend you like someone so much and then completely stop talking to them is insane. And I don’t want him back I just wanna kinda put him in his place and show him that he’s weird for doing that

[Opinion Owner]

No. Move on. It makes you look desperate. You say you would have accepted if he was honest w you. But I honestly don’t think you would. You won’t even let it go right now, that’s why I think you wouldn’t accept it. As for what he said. It could have been because he wanted to avoid confrontation. A lot of men say things to appease women cause women can get crazy over little things. Yes men can to but I think women are on a whole different level, especially when it comes to their feelings.

[BarryLiverstone]

Depends. What do you want from him?

[Asker]

I don’t know yet I haven’t gotten to know him well enough to know if I’d wanna date him. I do kinda like him tho it’s just the fact that he isn’t texting me is throwing me off. If he’s doing stuff like this early on. Then what’s left if I do decide to date him

[BarryLiverstone]

Gotcha. So you don’t know if you want a relationship with him. What stuff was he doing early on? Did you two go on many dates, did he compliment you, did he kiss you?

[Asker]

Well before he left he would text me all the time he took me for dinner and he took me to the spa and other places. He told me he liked me and asked what im looking for and I said i just wanna take things slow and see. He agreed. Yeah we have kissed and he wanted me to go for dinner with him and his friends. Like he was really all in before and now he’s super dry barely texts me and is probably out making out with other girls. What bothers me is that I don’t understand why he says and does all these things to just end up basically ghosting me. So now I answered his text he’s probably gonna take 3 days to reply and then it leaves me if I should answer or not but I don’t wanna be mean it’s just based on how he’s treating me why should I answer. What do you think I should do?

[BarryLiverstone]

You told him that you wanted to take things slowly so he is honoring your request and he’s not texting you everyday while he’s on his trip. Have you all discussed a date when he gets back? And yes it’s possible he’s with other girls now as you had only been dating him for a month.

[Asker]

No we haven’t spoken about a date. And I feel like it’s up to him to bring up considering he’s the one that’s on vacation. He sent me a text and I think I’m just gonna like it does that show that I don’t care or that it’s just the end of the conversation?

[BarryLiverstone]

If you change the pattern and just like a text, that usually means either he will send another text or he will assume you are busy

[BarryLiverstone]

Ig no date will be set up then until he’s back from vacay