because if she feel the need to do this it's because she need attention and her boyfriend is not enough for her so she don't really love him.
when I'm interested by someone I only see him and no one else, I go off all apps/reddit when I meet someone I'm truly interested in. Also as a woman you don't even need to post a pics of you to get attention just saying you're a girl is enough to get you hundred of attention for no reason.
So I can see why posting pics could be seen as bad, also maybe they're not the type to like having their pics on internet either a lot of people who post lots of pics on internet love to have their partner in their pics too which can be troublesome if you don't like it. I myself absolutely hate posting pics I never do and when I do it's only in private and even so I talked to people during years without ever showing them my face.
Theyre just mad that they cannot control those women. Being a married woman I've had men say crazy shit online whenever I post a pic like why would you show off that much skin while having a husband? Lol almost like my body is his property or something 😂
Let me say something if someone’s going to cheat they are going to cheat no matter what. Now I get if someone’s a e thot soliciting a certain type of attention that’s a major red flag men should avoid. But just posting on social media well you know. There are a lot of women too who spend hours on social media but think it’s weird when a man does it some people just have double standards.
Especially when these men flirt with lots of girls among other things they hold themselves to a different standard then someone else. Those are narcissists.
As for me. If I can’t trust someone I’m not gonna be with them. I can’t control another person and what they do with their lives. I can control who I choose to let into my life though
Both guys and girls would be pissed off with their partner blatantly flirts right in front of their very eyes. Girls complaining about their boyfriend looking at other girls is a perennial complaint here and say it makes them insecure.
Posting hot pics is flirting with a wide audience at the very best and is certainly wanting attention.
I'd dump you for blatantly flirting and I'd dump you for this also.
There’s a difference between sharing confidence and flirting. Not every woman posting a selfie is trying to seduce the world. Some of us just exist without your approval. If your line between self expression and disrespect is that thin, maybe it’s not a boundaries issue, it’s an insecurity issue.
Also, a man looking isn’t the same as a woman being looked at. One is active pursuit. The other is passive reception. And if you can’t tell the difference, you’re not ready for a grown woman.
My approval is not required for existence obviously nor for what you any woman does and no caring or interest in that either.
In terms of women I might interested in I have requirements and standards of course. It is up to me to decide if a specific woman meets them or not. And it is up to that specific woman to decide if I meet her requirements and standards. If it is a Yes-Yes then we can go further.
As in that post, where ever it was, I would agree that a women seeking attention and validation is not at all suitable for me and one to stay away from. If only for the immaturity it reveals.
You shouldn't confuse standards with insecurities by the way.
You’re absolutely entitled to your standards. But let’s not pretend that labeling women who exist on social media as “immature” or “seeking validation” is some neutral preference… it’s a judgment rooted in personal discomfort, not objective truth.
Confidence and visibility aren’t crimes. And a woman existing in her light doesn’t automatically mean she’s performing for yours.
You say it’s not about approval, but everything you’ve said reads like disapproval dressed up as a boundary. What this “boundary” would look like if it were done properly is him choosing not to date a woman with social media in the first place, instead of taking one who is and then and trying limit her visibility afterwards.
To be clear, a woman’s self expression doesn’t require permission or validation, especially from men who see confidence as a threat.
This whole idea that women who are visible are somehow immature or “seeking attention” is exactly the problem. It’s not a standard… it’s a projection. And calling it anything else is just rebranding insecurity as discernment.
I might not know initially or it might occur during a relationship. It would be extremely unlikely for me to get into a relationship with a woman who was already doing so.
I do see it as immature and attention seeking. Minus the attention and approbation I doubt many would do it. Not that I care because I can't.
Why is that view a problem to you? It seems you do care quite a bit.
@marish01 An Italian primary school teacher within the Catholic school system was sacked for not meeting the moral standards expected and she is most upset. From the pics in the Daily Mail I think you have to say the poses are designed to appeal to men. One of the fathers bought her pics.
MzAsh, I ask for permission to mansplain to this idiot. Not you, this idiot who happens to be a male.
Okay now with permission granted, let me tune him down a peg.
Are you out of your mind, sir?
“Here is some advice for the men:
Women who post themselves a lot on social media are an absolute nightmare to be involved with.
They're constantly signaling to the world that they WANT attention, they want comments, they want an intrusion into your circle.
Avoid at all costs.”
Ummm, one problem with that quote you posted for the world to see…. How do I say this delicately? Oh yeah, you are doing what you just said women do for attention and should avoid at all costs lmao. You post a lot on social media, strike one. You wanted comments, attention, and want intrusion within your circle, strike two. So strike three, avoid at all costs. I hope women and men avoid you for better.
I don’t know why it took me 5 days to see this ridiculous post, but this guy needs to look in the mirror since he is being the little B*tch he feared all along. Women are queens by the way, this guy is a dumpster fire.
Thank you for reading my reaction, I see you women & hear you and will continue to blast these sexist men. And men, don’t feel down because when there is a hot take from a woman you’ll hear plenty from me.
Actually a second point 1. Everyone has a voice (that includes women, hate to break it to you little boy) and can utilize it, doesn’t have to be something you subscribe to / agree with, tough crap. 2. Women want respect and support, not sure you’ll get a girlfriend with “hey you don’t post on social media until I approve of it”. Probably won’t get a call back also will be quick to asking for the check.
Its not the men that are the problem , its the ridiculous concept of constant affirmation , its no healthy , its really stupid , its not even REAL..
Constant affirmation , virtually always females is just not a good thing to do. His comments are completely justified , and for those that feel they some how " Have " to do this nonsense , for the sake of your own sanity , STOP IT , and actually live the moment , don't constantly photograph yourself with filters.
The odd bit here and there , but not constant affirmation and likes , that is ludicrous.
They get attention and use that FOR validation. The VALIDATION is what they FEEL from the attention they get that is vapid and objectification in this case which OUGHT to be something modern women shun
Just because a woman receives attention doesn’t automatically mean she’s dependent on it for validation. It’s the difference between living in a world where attention happens, and chasing it because your worth depends on it.
And the reception of that attention when it's no longer wanted is objectification. That is the issue that partners shouldn't have to deal with as body guards and stalker prevention. It's firstly, a double standard that women complain when they get the "wrong" type of attention that gives them negative attention making validation less and secondly they will provide that attention with time and energy instead of being content with what attention their partner provides. THAT is disrespectful of him and what he gives her.
NO not existing but the query implies she's seeking attention online and that can easily spread into real life. That real life hassle isn't worth the hassle. Like I said it's not threatening, it's frustrating and annoying that people will gawp and think they can have access to her in public settings. here's a reverse situation, how would you be if the man you were out with dressed with women's clothes and carried on like a woman in spite of being 110kg and 220cm with stubble? THAT would get attention and would be giving HIM the eyes of everyone around and perhaps he'd enjoy it and thus should make women scared of him getting the attention of EVERYONE instead of them?
What that the reality of being a woman is seeking constant affirmation? Or seek external validation from other men in public? That being objectified is really what they're after? I don't think so and you didn't answer my question about a guy you're with dressing as a woman getting ALL the attention. Would that be "threatening" to you?
Existing and being visible is not the same as seeking constant validation. Women don’t have to “do” anything special to get attention, it happens whether they want it or not.
As for your analogy, a man dressing up in a way meant to provoke isn’t the same as a woman living her life and posting normally. One is shock-jocking to demand attention, and the other is just living in a reality where attention happens whether you ask for it or not.
Posting your life online to arouse others which is the common form for women to get attention FROM strange men by objectifying herself is exactly the same as a man dressing as a woman is only one is doing it to DEMAND attention that isn't about arousing objectifying themselves for others gratification. The difference is that online is free from face to face interaction which women want to avoid but with online social media objectification, they may run into "subscribers" on the street and that's the face to face they don't want to deal with even though the hypocrisy seems to go over their heads because it's been their own behaviour online that has garnered the offline irl attention they freak out at.
You’re projecting a lot of intent onto women that simply isn’t there.
Most women aren’t posting to “arouse” strangers, they’re living their lives, sharing moments, expressing themselves. If some men choose to consume that through the lens of objectification, that’s on them, not on the woman for existing in public spaces.
Saying women “invite” harassment because they dared to be visible is like saying someone “invited” theft because they wore nice shoes outside. It’s warped thinking.
The hypocrisy isn’t on women for being visible, it’s on the people who think visibility equals permission.
The implication is in the OP post. Women posting a lot online tends to be for attention and not of the sewing, cooking or hobby kind. It's implying thirst traps and attention seeking for likes and that comes with using sexuality to get objectification usage out of platforms from men. I've not said they INVITE it but online presence will ALWAYS bring out the sorts of people who EXPECT access to the private person they see in a public space. Like your last sentence says it's not entitlement BUT if you push yourself into the public eye (that's online too) then expect the public to want access to you in public. Men don't want to deal with that shit most of the time. Keeping a low profile is a sign of self control and confidence because seeking external affirmation is an insecurity that shouldn't be sought because the attention from strangers isn't something to seek UNLESS you want to be NOTICED and GET attention ALL the time whether online or irl. You can't pick and choose that's reality. It also shows low regard for the attention a partner gives you that will be over ridden by the far greater attention of the online crowd and that's disrespectful
You’re assuming that most women post online specifically for male attention, but that’s your lens, not reality.
Women who post about their lives, their thoughts, their moments, aren’t doing it to get objectified, but objectification happens because some men feel entitled to consume any woman they can see.
Keeping a “low profile” doesn’t protect women from that. It never has.
The issue isn’t women’s visibility. It’s the way some men refuse to respect boundaries no matter what a woman does.
I agree that women don't always post online as flesh pots for objectification and those who do so to either BASH men to GET ATTENTION should expect that attention to be present irl if they get enough attention.
If you think posting online is somehow NOT public and that the online AND irl world don't exist together then you're in for a surprise. It's gonna happen. Like being a sports or tv celebrity. It's that putting yourself out there that you MUST accept is part of being a public figure. Heck I am a teacher and I get students and former students, parents and all sorts giving me attention in public whether I want it or not and it's part of being in the lives of lots of people. If you don't like the idea of people coming into your life then don't invite them by having a large public profile either IRL or online.
It does make you a public figure because it's BROADCASTING your content to the world. Online visibility is absolutely public. ANYONE can access it so even though it's on a platform the platform puts it out for all to see and if it's subscriptions you're talking about that's just the same for those who PAY for access. That access can allow folk to want or recognise your presence and that will attract attention in real life. ENTITLED to that irl access is something that men don't want to have to protect women they're with from, It's extra unnecessary hassle, Visibility is ACCCES and by posting you GIVE consent to those who consume content to use it for their own purposes. In public you're not entitled to privacy, you can be photographed, filmed approached and that's tough if you're not wanting that but it comes with the job of being a public figure. Subscribers or consumers aren't ENTITLED to be in your space but will absolutely try to do that and men are just not into having to deal with all that crap not because they're scared as the OP suggests but because it's an unnecessary stressor that COULD end up with THEM becoming a victim of being expected to protect and defend a woman who's attracted the wrong sort of "fan"/consumber/subscriber.
Being visible online doesn’t make someone a “public figure” in any serious sense of the term.
Celebrities actively monetize their public image. Regular people sharing parts of their life aren’t signing up to be public property.
Visibility is not consent. Access to content is not access to a person.
Honestly, if basic female visibility feels like a burden men have to “protect themselves” from… doesn’t that say more about how some men view women than about women just existing?
Are you serious? Online IS MEDIA. Its most folks primary entertainment even more than politicians who are public figures too. I think you need to look at the platforms privacy policy about who has access to content. Its absolutely PUBLIC and can be discovered by employers who are doing social media trawls for prospective employees these days. How do you not know this? Vosibility online IS CONSENT TO THE CONTENT being accessed how consumers choose. If you post it THEY CAN SEE it. Often use it, repost, copy and sharel elsewhere.
I agree that doesn't mean access TO THE PERSON but that person in public is liable to be spotted, noticed, seen and even filmed, photographed and approached as part 9f being in a public space as a MEDIA personality. It is nieve to expect otherwise.
It's not the broadcast of a woman's presence or her visibility that's the problem it's the associated hassle and UNWANTED attention it comes with that men don't want the limelight of. Women who seek the limelight should accept their choices have consequences. Men don't have to accept being part of that. If your complaint is about why the attention comes from men because of thirst traps, then that's a biological matter that thousands or years of evolution is responsible for and the profits if it women have enjoyed through history are well known. If you don't post, no one will know or bother you. The world isn't meant to revolve around every females ego
Sure, posting online makes you visible, but being visible isn’t the same thing as being a public figure or a celebrity. That’s a reach, and deep down, you know it.
Visibility happens. It’s part of life now.
But the real issue here was never about celebrity status or public access.
It’s about men trying to gatekeep exposure, trying to keep women from realizing that options exist everywhere, and that competition is baked into the system whether you like it or not.
Social media didn’t create that.
Men’s dicks have been migrating from miles around since the beginning of time, whether a woman posted a selfie or was just out buying groceries.
You can’t stop it. You can’t control it.
Trying to hide women from the world won’t erase the fact that, as a man, you’re always competing, whether you admit it or not.
How is it NOT being public? You're BROADCASTING so anyone can SEE or hear you online and thus consume your content and if they SEE you they KNOW who you are and are thus KNOWN in public. That's a naive expectation you got there. MAKING yourself visible is a choice. Most people (men especially) don't do that while women who do, enjoy the ego boost their "likes" and follows give them as validation THEY FEEL and this is where they fall down. Those likes and follows aren't genuine IRL likes and follows but they (creators) think they are a sign of their worth. They don't want to accept that their public ONLINE persona is going to get IRL attention and it's often NOT what they want. They want the benefits of "fame" like fortune but without the consequences of being seen in public and think they deserve the privacy of nobodies they deem lesser than them because of their ego. POSTING ONLINE IS A CHOICE, with consequences. If consequences you're always informed about aren't accepted then DON'T post online. You seem to be wanting to control natural urges IN MEN to placate the egos of women because the entitlement to men's time and resources (the customers/clients/subscribers) should not be a burden on them. If you sell yourself to the public expect the public to want their money's worth.
I don't get what the migrating dicks is about. Men going places to discover things? Travel abroad? What do you mean? What does that have to do with posting online to get attention but not want attention in real life which seems to be your issue?
You keep trying to frame this as women chasing attention and not wanting consequences.
But that was never the real conversation.
The real conversation is about men trying to gatekeep visibility because deep down they know: competition is everywhere, and it can’t be contained.
You can tell a woman to delete Instagram, wear a turtleneck, stay off the grid, and guess what? Men will still show up. Options will still exist. Attention will still happen.
Social media didn’t invent competition. It just made it more obvious.
Trying to hide women from the world isn’t about protecting them. It’s about trying to protect yourself from reality.
No it's not about MEN gatekeeping anything. How can men GATEKEEP something so few of the actually do? WOMEN are the ones posting themselves online expecting attention online to remain there. That thrill of likes and follows IS the addictive nature of content creation (though using sexuality as the "creation" isn't really creative, it's using human nature to ADVERTISE something) that women seem incapable of grasping the consequences of. Put yourself out there, get followed ONLINE and guess what? You'll get occasions where people will recognise you and that's not what men want to deal with. Why should someone have to deal with your "fans" when they want to spend time with you?
If you're trying now to police natural attraction and attention giving as a stance then that's a wider issue that is BIOLOGICAL in nature and you seem to want men to IGNORE you in public but not online. How tf is that natural? I don't know where you get the idea men or anyone is trying to HIDE women because that's just not happening. The whole OF and social media is 99% dominated by thirst trap women objectifying themselves for the gratification of others. That's MEN usually SUPPORTING in ffs.
Doing something after being warned of the consequences and thinking that those who warned you of the consequences are the problem is a whole level of immature accountability avoidance shit.
Posting online makes someone visible, yes. It doesn’t turn them into property. It doesn’t erase their right to privacy, boundaries, or basic human decency.
The real conversation here was never about women chasing validation, or men being “forced” to deal with fans.
It’s about men feeling uncomfortable the second a woman exists in a space where options and attention are visible, and trying to “solve” that by shrinking her world instead of strengthening their own security.
It’s not about biology. It’s not about OnlyFans. It’s about control.
And trying to control competition by hiding women has always been a losing strategy, because competition is everywhere, and it always has been.
You can’t control reality. You can only expose your fear of it.
@Shiprex Thankyou great points This constant affirmation , taking photos of one's self with filters , posting for more " likes " while missing the entire first hand experience , it's just ludicrous
It has nothing to do with " gate keepers " if it did , we need 1000s more , watching this sht going down with this utter stupidity , would drive anyone mad.
@molonski2 Yeah, I find the lack of self awareness and failure to take account of one's own choices and suffering the consequences instead of complaining the consequences should be there (the natural behaviours that HAVE to be changed to fit the egos of those "creators" is overwhelmingly bad for their own mental and psychological well being.
What’s sick is thinking your comfort should dictate how visible other people are allowed to be. Look, if you don’t want to date a woman with fans, then date men. That’s the only way around that.
No one is taking away anyones privacy though. When you are in public YOU ARE VISIBLE and able to be approached and have no right to privacy in the slightest. If you DON'T want to be "recognised" don't have a public profile. It's THAT EASY.
Now you're trying to dismiss the reality by deflecting to it being MEN having insecurities when it's women's egos that are the driving force behind seeking ATTENTION to get VALIDATION that manifests in a public profile that OTHERS will see. If you use your sexuality to GET ATTENTION through VISIBILITY leading to experiencing VALIDATION and even MONETISATION the consequences are that YOU WILL GET NOTICED in public, People WILL SEE you and want to get some more of that (paid for) product that you're selling whether you're actively doing it or not. You have a public persona and that brings with it responsibilities and consequences.
You’re confusing visibility with forfeiting rights.
Public visibility doesn’t mean you lose your basic rights to privacy, dignity, or protection, legally or socially. Yes, you can be seen in public. No, that doesn’t mean people can harass you, stalk you, or treat you like property.
And posting online doesn’t magically turn someone into a “product” that the world gets to consume without limits.
You keep trying to frame this as women “seeking validation” and “not accepting consequences,” but that’s not what’s actually happening here.
The real issue is absolutely insecurity, men feeling uncomfortable the second a woman exists visibly in the world, because it reminds them they’re not her only option.
What rights are being forfeit though? What your conflating is the risks of consequences and rights. If you don't want to experience the risks then don't perform the activities that will expose you to those risks
Like deep sea diving with sharks can cause you to have issues with equipment, apparatus, wildlife and you accept those risks when you carry out those activities. If you don't want to accept those risks then don't do the activity. That simple. Posting online for consumption IS making your image a product. You do not have a right to image privacy in a public space thats some entitlement you're pushing there. STOP you are not special, not deserving of privilege because you're female.
How you keep going on to men being insecure and feeling threatened when women push their sexuality onto EVERYONE else is mind boggling. MEN consume that shit and men who don't KNOW that men consume that shit and dgaf that they do so. WE don't want the women who are supposed to be committed to US to be sharing themselves with others too. Like some kind of public transport that anyone can get on and off. PRIVACY for the relationship we have with women is OURS not for anyone to have and women who think there's a difference are deluded and immature.
No rights are being forfeited by posting publicly.
Risk and rights are not the same thing.
I can acknowledge that posting online carries risks, while also holding firm that it doesn’t erase a person’s right to dignity, respect, or boundaries.
Your shark analogy falls apart because it implies that existing publicly, as a woman, is like entering hostile territory where being attacked is just the natural cost of admission.
It’s not.
The problem isn’t women’s visibility. The problem is the people who can’t consume visibility without feeling entitled to access, control, and ownership.
Posting online doesn’t turn a woman into a product. It turns a mirror on everyone watching, exposing who respects boundaries and who thinks admiration = entitlement.
And the language you’re using, about “sharing,” “public transport,” “private ownership” makes it crystal clear:
This was never about safety.
It was about fear.
Fear that you can’t gatekeep competition. Fear that attention exists whether you can control it or not. Fear that your “possession” of a woman isn’t ironclad just because she’s committed to you.
You’re not protecting women from harm. You’re trying to protect yourself from insecurity.
That’s the difference. And no amount of ranting about validation or public profiles is going to erase that.
Dignity respect and boundaries aren't being denied. If you post online you can be judged and will be judged and that's a consequence. The very act of publishing yourself is in itself for the purpose of being ADMIRED (a judgement) DESIRED (another) WANTED (more) disliked (again) hated (unfortunate but still judgement. SO you're actually digging your own grave there. Respect is sort of dealt with here too. People have a right to their morality and YOUR discomfort is not their responsibility. You do not have the right to refrain from criticism. It is not everyones responsibility to respect your decision to use sexuality (that's the core of why you're complaining here) as a way to sell products, that's marketing and what the whole idea is behind "visibility". If you don't have visibility YOU don't sell. That it's WOMEN'S image and appearance that is the product seems to escape your consciousness. I can't help if you're so inside your ego that you cannot relate to that idea but that's reality. Don't like it don't post.
Boundaries are for YOU to set for you. You don't get to set boundaries for others. That would be fascism. Because YOU don't want random people taking photos of you or coming up to you for selfies or autographs or just attention is not a boundary THAT'S an entitlement. If you put yourself into the pubic eye YOU therefore have to deal with the public. PEOPLE want the product. That product is the image of the one selling it. Don't like it don't post and market yourself as a product. It's that simple.
The truth seems to be coming out about the sort of person you're describing. One who is masculine and seeks to make men compete for them like they are to be won and that is gross and disrespectful of men. MEN grow up CONSTANTLY competing through their lives JUST TO GET NOTICED and when they do get noticed they don't need FURTHER competition to be the part of their life that is supposed to bring peace GTF with that bullshit. This princess mentality of entitlement to be the centre of attention WHEN YOU WANT it from other people is gross and toxic to a relationship. I've said if many times. A man wants to be with a women who brings COMFORT and CALM who is in her feminine nurturing, gentle, sensitive and submissive (and dominating in private) not some attention seeking poser who exists for online gratification for others AND HERSELF.
Nope it's not men's insecurity it's women's masculinity that I think you're trying to promote and men are NOT interested in that
Women putting themselves in the firing line then complaining about being shot is the ultimate in accountability fails
Yeah, posting online opens you up to judgment. That’s basic common sense. Nobody serious is pretending otherwise. The real difference is: some of us know how to move through that judgment without letting it control us. Criticism comes with the territory, and it’s just not powerful enough to derail anyone who’s clear on why they’re showing up. End of story.
Not everyone is posting online for attention or admiration. For a lot of people, it’s about running a brand, selling a product, building a business, or simply sharing something meaningful.
If the only lens you can see women through is “product” and “visibility,” that sounds like a you problem. Not an objective truth.
Boundaries absolutely are for you to set but pretending that others have no obligation to respect basic laws around harassment, image rights, or misuse of someone’s likeness is just wrong. There’s a difference between public exposure and targeted mistreatment. You’re blending the two because it serves your narrative, but legally and ethically, they’re not the same thing.
On this whole “masculine women” point ambition, self-respect, having standards, visibility , none of those are inherently masculine traits.
They’re traits of a functional adult. Labeling women “masculine” just because they’re not molding themselves into your ideal fantasy doesn’t make the label true. It just shows you’re uncomfortable with autonomy that doesn’t revolve around you.
As for men “competing” good relationships require effort. Always have, always will. If a man feels “burdened” by the idea of showing up and continuing to invest in a relationship to prove he’s her best option, maybe the real issue isn’t the woman. Maybe it’s that he was expecting partnership to be a finish line instead of something he has to keep building.
Of course it's for attention as RUNNING A BRAND is actually trying to achieve. If you don't like it (attention) and don't want it don't do it Be less visible. Don't police the actions of others to YOUR wish to be VISIBLE but only on your terms, that's some ott level princess syndrome.
It’s not about wanting attention, it’s about building something with purpose. I’ve been strategic with my brand since day one, and visibility is part of that. I’m not afraid of judgment. I expect it. I welcome it, as it’s free marketing.
What I’m not going to do is shrink myself just to avoid being seen. That’s never been the goal. People can judge, hate, obsess, whatever. I’ll keep showing up anyway, because being less visible is honestly the last thing I’d ever want.
Why do you say men are scared of it then? They criticise it because it's not their thing and think that using sexuality (if that's the way you're marketing the brand or products) as a method then that is objectification of women and men are protective of that as well as allowed to have moral standards that you should accept band allow instead of complain.
It is a weird thing, but male honor has in the past and still largely is based on the perceived modesty of the women close to us. If our wives, girlfriends, mothers, daughters etc. dress in a way that is revealing it often makes us feel embarrassed. It of course sometimes has that effect on women too, like when mothers tell their daughters how to dress. It is wrong I know, but it is still hard to get over. A man would often rather have people think he is a liar and a thief than that he has a "slutty" girlfriend.
Well of course, the slutty girlfriend is the only one where he’s not benefitting. A man doesn’t care about being a liar and a thief because he’s getting something out of those.
I don't have a problem avoiding these women cause they almost never acknowledge me anyways. So many men tell them they are beautiful etc. That all the nice men, are seen by them as just a number. What they seem to hate the most is the people who disagree with what they are doing. I feel that these women turn themselves into objects so that they can make $$$. I think what happens is, these men get sexually frustrated by all of this, and so they start saying nasty things about it. They would like the other men to stop enabling these women.
The issue isn't the attention, it's the fact she's insecure enough to need external validation.
Someone like that needs constant validation. No man that she's in a relationship with will EVER be enough for her. It creates a constant opportunity for someone else to enter and influence the relationship.
Men aren't scared of those women, they just don't respect them or want to deal with the hassle they tend to bring. They COULD be the nicest, friendliest, most charming, hot crossed bun in the oven BUT there's too much risk of being dragged into unnecessary drama because of it.
The drama of people on the street coming up to her and expecting to be given some attention from her. Public access to people seen in media. Like I don't want folk taking pictures of me because someone I am with is "famous" for dressing provocatively, or posing around showing off themselves for others to gratify themselves.
Okay, you're featuring a random post of a random guy turning his personal experience into some "advice" thinking he's protecting general interest. You're not talking about some men here, it's just one stereotypical man and evidently not the brightest.
I'm not scared about a woman featuring her physique on social media, by default, not knowing her I'd consider her as an entrepreneur. So I would find her boring, again, by default, but that's another topic.
This mentality is pretty common, you’ll see it all over dating spaces online. A lot of men aren’t just indifferent, they actively discourage women from being visible because it threatens their sense of control and security.
It’s less about her behavior, and more about the fear she’ll realize she has more options than they’re comfortable with.
I understand your line of thought, the control logic is very clear. If that phenomenon is happening in dating spaces online then I wouldn't really know of it. The only related experience I have with the topic is me asking a girl why she was posting so many full pictures of herself on social media, her answer was: "Because I'm dating and that's what men want to see, my body". I won't generalize her answer, though I doubt she is an isolated case, what I can say though is that the underlying intents and effects produced by this visibility may be very intricate.
we're not scared of women being seen. we just know that women who are trying to be seen are not gonna be faithful. it is what it is. that's why we avoid such women like a plague and then these women go forth and try to gaslight us by calling us "poor scared men" as if it was somehow our mistake that these women are terrible people xD
Today - " A woman is not a man's women, It's just his turn with that women." In street language they say! Not your women but you turn!
So when a Women is Visible, she is a like a Lighthouse Visible to all men, and if she finds a better man that you, she will replace you..
So it's genuinely a man's concern of being replaced!.. if After being in committed relationship she is being seen, she probably is scoping for options..
I get what you’re saying, but if the foundation of a relationship is the fear of being replaced, that says a lot about the trust and security in that relationship.
Explain to me how is "Fear of being replaced" a foundation of relationship, if fear of being replaced existed, Relationship cannot even happen.. Committment cannot happen.. What you spoke was twisted and false statement.. Think again maybe you meant to say something else..
As far it's about trust.. Trust is seen in actions.. if she is choosing to shining to be seen, it clearly Displays she has no Faith in her current relationship and does not trust her man. As far as it's about security, if the man wasn't secure enough, he would have married her, so he does not lacks security..
Actually, relationships can and do happen even when there’s fear of being replaced. Plenty of men get into relationships with women they don’t fully trust. But instead of choosing a woman they can trust, they choose one they don’t, and then try to control her, usually by policing her visibility or presence online.
But here’s the truth. If you don’t trust a woman, find a different woman. What you don’t get to do is try to gatekeep her. Because it never works.
Women will always be seen, admired, and loved by others no matter what restrictions you place on her. If your fear is being replaced, the answer isn’t to hide her from the world… it’s to outperform the competition.
Be her best option, and she’ll choose you every time. That’s how security is actually built.
To be clear, a woman’s self expression doesn’t require permission or validation, especially from men who see confidence as a threat.
This whole idea that women who are visible are somehow immature or “seeking attention” is exactly the problem. It’s not a standard… it’s a projection. And calling it anything else is just rebranding insecurity as discernment.
" Plenty of men get into relationships with women they don’t fully trust." - I totally Agree with this Statement, if the men Gave Committment on Wrong terms in his mind Following which He Tries to control her, then he deserves to be Replaced..
Not all Visible women are seeking attention, I know plenty of Women who are on social media working with their career, news anchors, Ted talk, stand up Comedian , Scientific Spokesperson. These ladies are NOT SHINING TO ATTARACT MEN. and are not the problem.
But there are a lot of women, with no, valuable contribution using Social Media to Show off their Bodies because they Know Men are Pigs and will Give attention. That is also significantly Man's fault. But Giving attention they Skew a Women's perception and make her deluded..
Not all women use Social Media presence to Lure in better guys, but there is a Significant percentage that do that, only those ladies are problem..
I also agree with that if she isn't shining to Attaract better mate then she deserves to Shining as Bright as she wants to, everyone Deserves to achieve Best height of success in their life, again if any man stops a women from that fairly should be ready to replace, or work smarter and harder than her, so he can at least keep up with her.. I women Does not replaces a man that is 40 out of 100 with a man that is 50 out of 100. New guy needs to be a significant improvement.. if he is +30 point better that her current man than she will replace and if a man does not want to be replaced , he better reached for +70 out of 100 ..
It’s probably a mix of stuff. like maybe they are bothered by the attention she gets? cause like, insecure much? or maybe they don’t like other guys seeing her. or maybe its like u said, they don't get that kinda attention themselves so they gotta hate on people who do? Or they could have had some bad experiences with women who post online.
“The withdrawn males would not respond during attacks, lying there immobile. Later on, they would attack others in the same pattern. The female counterparts of these isolated males withdrew as well. Some mice spent their days preening themselves, shunning mating, and never engaging in fighting. Due to this they had excellent fur coats, and were dubbed, somewhat disconcertingly, the "beautiful ones".
Are you looking for reinforcement to your beliefs, or looking for possible explanations?
Toxic women exist just like toxic men do. There is no 'one shoe fits all' here. Toxic people seek attention in an unhealthy way. You will have to talk to this guy further to understand if his comment is misogynistic or valid. Otherwise, in general, it can be either or depending on the context.
Not all men are “scared” of women being seen. That framing is just a deflection.
Some men just don’t want to date someone who constantly needs public validation. There’s a difference between being proud of your appearance and chasing attention nonstop. It’s not fear—it’s standards.
If the roles were reversed, and a man was posting shirtless thirst traps daily, most women would be calling him a red flag. - Eva ❤️
Many men believe, with some justification, that a woman who is thirsty for attention can never fully commit herself to a relationship with someone else, and that seems like a waste of a life.
Maybe they just don't want a woman who wants so much attention.. Women definitely make their grievances known if a guy was an attention whore.. It's not fear, it's just not wanting a possibly problematic, insecure, narcissistic woman..
They aren't "scared" of it, they just recognize it as frequently being an indicator of underlying insecurities and need for affirmation, which aren't attractive in a potential mate.
"Ooh, ooh, look at me. Look what I'm doing". Anyone who feels the need to constantly inform casual acquaintances of their existence and try to convince them of how interesting their life is, probably doesn't have a very interesting life. Better to go and do the things you want to do without worrying about "likes".
No, we're talking about women who feel the need to call attention to themselves. Seems to be much more common among women than men. At least among the young.
Because they’re insecure and need attention and validation. DM’s are filled, and if the right guy comes along it’s bye bye 👋 and one sad guy. Glad I learned these red flags earlier on
When a woman posting herself is labeled “a nightmare,” it’s not just a critique of behavior, it’s a judgment on her visibility.
The implication is clear… if she’s visible, she must be desperate for attention. But that says more about how some men interpret female confidence than it does about the woman herself.
So yes, it is about women being seen, because if she were invisible, he wouldn’t have a problem at all.
I'd also point out that he said "who post themselves a lot", so it can't be that the issue is whether she is visible, if we are using tour argument it would be that the issue is the degree that she is visible.
I don't mean to be rude but your argument just doesn't stand up.
Sir, I remember times before the internet existed and trust me, men have been deeply threatened by women’s visibility for a very long time. Specifically visibility when he believes he’s entitled to her. Honestly I think that’s part of the problem too, the entitlement to exclusive access.
I'll head your warning, and I know your intentions are good, but if you don't mind me being honest I just think you have somewhat of a disdain for men. You post about them very, very frequently. And again, I don't mean to criticize too much, because you're simply doing what you think is right. But I think your perspective on men is a little extreme.
I hear you, and I appreciate the honesty. Just for context, I’m a relationship coach for women, and a big part of what I do involves helping women navigate modern dynamics while holding onto their agency.
I speak on these topics often because, even today, women still face constant pressure to shrink themselves, conform, or stay under some form of control or surveillance, especially in relationships.
That said, I don’t hold disdain for men. There are many subsets of men I deeply respect and admire, men who lead with emotional maturity, self awareness, and strength that doesn’t rely on dominance. But I also believe it’s necessary to tell the truth about the cultural narratives that don’t serve women, or men, for that matter.
If that comes across as extreme, it’s probably because these conversations are often uncomfortable before they’re understood.
I gotcha. That certainly explains a lot. I think a lot of times someone's field of study/work, especially when passionate, can lead them to express things beyond the norm because they see the depth of the topic that many others don't. And at times it might seem extreme.
Maybe im rambling but I've experienced things like that in my field of work, that being cyber security. I express ideas and notions and people look at you funny because you see the issues caused by intricacies that might not be readily apparent to the average person.
If I’m in a relationship and my companion posted pics of herself like that, no I wouldn’t approach. It’s normal for males to be territorial. We don’t want to lose our mate to competition. I’m sure women feel the same
If a woman is constantly seeking attention and validation from other men, you might have a problem if you are her boyfriend or husband. It means your attention and validation is not enough.
I don't that at all. If I had wife or girlfriend who got attention from others it wouldn't bother me. It's like having a relationship with an actress model or singer. I'd be happy I'm the she feels happy with.
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