Why do some people feel men and woman cannot be friends?

Question

I always thought that was weird… me and my homegirl been good

naartjie · Accepted Answer

Because you literally CANNOT. The instance of where you can, is very very rare but for the majority of men and women, you cannot be friends.
I said what!
Men make everything about sex. I currently have zero guy friends and will NEVER be friends with a guy.
I read this thing where it said “men mistake your kindness for flirtation because they’d never be nice to someone they don’t want” or something like that.
My personal experience, every single guy I’ve ever been nice to, they always think I want them… I offered a guy a ride home to get out the rain and I got texts of him wanting to sleep with me. :
Most men are a joke these days lol
Don’t waste your time being friends with the opposite sex. Women are just as bad and often I’ve seen women love making the man’s partner jealous and then act like she’s jealous or crazy- people are very narcissistic and manipulative.
If you’re dating, just avoid making friends of the opposite sex- I majority of the time it never ends well.

My parents don’t have friends of the opposite sex and the ones they do, they’re mutual friends with both my parents and never hangout with one of my parents alone- since my parents are usually always together anyway but it would be incredibly disrespectful and weird.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Because 99.999999% of the time one of them, usually the male, will desire the “friend” sexually. This has been proven time and time again. Men don’t usually befriend women that they don’t find sexually attractive on some level. If you have such friends it’s usually though other means that they became your friend and not because you went out of your way to go talk to that person specifically to become friends. Friendships that surge through other means.

for example are you gonna sit there and lie and say that you don’t find that friend attractive? The girl will likely never even want to fuck that guy but that guy at least once will have the desire for her even if in passing.

the only times it won’t actually happen is as I said before with friends that are unattractive that became your friends through other means and it you going specifically to befriend them, AND if one of the friends is gay/lesbian not bi.

this is not just common sense but nature. Stop kidding yourself.

EzraIsShy76028 · Accepted Answer

Because of traditional gender roles. Literally. The expectation is that a person has a spouse of the opposite sex and friends of the same gender. Also add onto the fact the vast majority of people being straight/heterosexual, they might be scared to catch feelings.

But this type of thing shouldn't matter unless you MAKE it matter. Does that mean you're attracted to every single person of the opposite sex out there? Any person of the opposite sex you see on the street you're immediately attracted to? It just doesn't make sense.

Though this sort of thing has caused issues for some people. Like a person has their spouse and their best friend of the opposite gender. Then they start to sort of catch feelings for that best friend of the opposite gender. The spouse notices and starts to get jealous. Etc.

But it doesn't always have to be like that.

Also, if it's the argument about being straight, does that mean gay people should ONLY have friends of the opposite sex? Or that bisexual or pansexual people should not have ANY friends at all?

Shiprex · Accepted Answer

There is a strong chance that an emotional attachment will occur that will cause one to reject the other so the dynamic will change and be less comfortable. Those who say, we can just be friends are abusing the other person who sought something from the other that the other will give to someone else.

Then there's the "other" dynamic where one gets into a relationship outside of the friendship and will be "encouraged" to be with their new energy vampire partner who will be disturbed that they put another of the same gender ahead of them and THOSE relationships will stress both the 3rd wheel of a romantic partner or the in between trying to juggle friend and RP to avoid conflict.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Because  They believe it is fundamentally impossible They have been raised far from women They have had bad experiences with women specifically They project whatever they think onto the rest of the world They live in a particularly divisive culture or society  They are afraid of women  They are afraid of themselves They don't understand why  They didn't even think about it They didn't see your question

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

It’s extremely rare for heterosexual men and women to have a meaningful friendship in which there is absolutely no history of eros intimacy and neither person would want that to change if the opportunity presented itself.
Contrarily, it’s extremely common to find someone with a “friend” who is actually a former lover, or friend zone dweller who is otherwise waiting for their friend to return their unrequited affection.
In terms of establishing meaningful boundaries, it’s absolutely best to assume the latter. Lest you become the fool and set yourself up for failure and a broken heart.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

They can be friends there is no doubt, but then the stronger friendship stronger the trust, bond and dependency for emotional support.

There is a sense of knowingness, likeness , comfortness.

Most of the male female friendship would possibly end up being more when a person is depressed on some matter or if anybody couldn't provide that comfort or trust then there is a chance that one could catch feelings.

In hardships if you have a shoulder to cry on then naturally there could be attraction and a craving of protectiveness the void is filled.

Its not always lust that leads to more, but the circumstances do as well.

dustybiker2 · Answer

They were never able to pull it off. Probably were desperate at some point in their lives and trampled the trust, leaving the woman wondering 'wth? thought we were good.' Or the woman left as she might have been a player.

I'm friends with a big group from childhood neighborhoods. I was a tomboy and never connected with girls, tried but ended up being used to get to my boys. We were all chosen siblings, someone to bounce life off, but smart enough to know would never work in a relationship. It's a strong foundation some people find hard to understand. Even the parents and eventually partners took 4-5 years to get it.

McLlovin · Answer

As a guy Even when your intentions are to be truly just friends. You are actually subconsciously chasing her, you just are in denial. You can't fight nature. You all are either keeping each other as a back when all options are exhausted. All the while legitimately thinking you’re just friends. When all options are exhausted your friend will start to look good. This is of course assuming you don’t secretly have feelings already.

The only way you can be legitimately be friends is if you both have someone and you hangout together with your significant other with you. Other than that there will always be that hint of possible romance lingering that you both like to ignore.

Summeroflove · Answer

Because they personally cannot be doesn’t mean nobody can be. Does it happen where one person catches romantic feelings more so then the other? Absolutely it happens. Is there people who just want to fuck everyone and don’t have self control? Yes…

People can be friends though without the feelings or sex. Unless they just cannot control themselves at times it flourishes into more (which tend to be longer lasting and stronger) and other times they don’t.

TheLovelyWoman · Answer

My husband believes that men and women can’t be friends. He always think that my male friends are a pack of hungry wolves waiting for the right opportunity to score. He thinks they will have sex with me if I give them the opportunity.

nawtee_me · Answer

Jealousy for one reason, they think that their girlfriend or boyfriend can’t be friends with the opposite sex because they can’t trust one or the other or can’t trust either of them.
Another reason is the idea that opposite sexes will want to have sex with one another and therefore can’t be just friends….
This is completely false because guys and girls can indeed be just friends without having sex. And sometimes sex is just sex and not a friends with benefits thing at all. You don’t have to have feelings to have sex , you just need to be horny…. In my humble opinion….

HollyK21 · Answer

What’s the background on this friendship? Is she conveniently attractive? Straight? Does she live in another city or something making it basically an LDR friendship? Is she or has she ever been in a relationship while you were friends or vice versa? How long has it been that you’ve known her? Have you ever tried dating and it didn’t work out or have you guys ever flirted?

lilBigPotato · Answer

People are narrow-minded and think everything is always just about sex.

It makes zero sense to me. It would mean that I'm willing to fuck with just any guy or catch feelings for just anyone, and same would be true for the guy.

Things can happen but that doesn't mean it's the case for everyone. I have plenty of guy friends that I have known for years with no issues

Simslover92 · Answer

Yeah sure. If neither or one of you is not attracted to the other then it's possible. You guys just aren't attracted to each other.

But in my experience, I always see eventually it becomes a problem or issue when one does. And there's always one that does.

alli-112 · Answer

With men, it's usually just like misogyny resulting in the objectification of women - hard to be friends with an object after all. With women, it's more because of the number of times they've noticed their male friends acting on the above - hard to be friends with someone who only wants to be "friends" until they realize they aren't getting any. Not a stance I agree with, but I've definitely been in the latter situation a few too many times, so I do get it.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I have several woman friends who I like as friends and I have no intention of being sexually involved with. On the other hand, I might meet a new woman and look at it as a dating situation with hopefully romance in the picture eventually. The ones who are friends I am fine with just being friends.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I assume because me personally I only friended guys I thought were hot, I never became more then acquaintances with dudes I thought were ugly :D (except for my long term boyfriend but it was because we had so much in common and he chased me) So I always assume to be friends with a guy/girl someone has to have feelings because why hangout with the opposite gender when you have more in common with the same sex. I always assume one or both want to fuck each other.

AviatorTom · Answer

Men and women CAN be friends, but both should realize that the man will almost always wonder what the woman is like in bed. He won't do anything about it, but he will think about it, it's in the male genes, how Mother Nature made us.

This was aptly described in the movie When Harry Met Sally.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/i8kpYm-6nuE

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Because for the most part men and women are attracted to each other, and in one way or another somebody is gonna start to have feelings for somebody.. Most times at least.. Only way it might work is if they both aren't attracted to each other, or they both are in fresh relationships where they are head over heels for their SO..

RedInnocent69 · Answer

You can control, but not overcome biology. I have friends who are girls. Some I find attractive. I might never act on that because, circumstances. But in an alternate comic-book universe… It would be ridiculous for me to deny they’re attractive because, obviously!

Anonymous · Answer

multiple reasons. because men tend to be masculine. they can't relate to feminine.

secondly, men tend to be way too sexual when it comes to females. He will try in every way possible to fuck her. He might even fantasize about her.

men and women can be acquaintances but never close friends

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Because too many men sexualize women to the point of objectification without realizing and, as a result, are only friends with women they see as potential sexual partners.

Genie23 · Answer

Because they never met the kind of people they can connect with so well without developing feeling or without getting attracted... Or they never tried being friends with the opposite gender.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Because those people are most likely incapable of doing so, and think their weaknesses are universal.

katiesmuff · Answer

Not sure either where that comes from! Must be more maga BS and taken from excerpts from Frumpy's successful life with women all of which have been sleazy gold diggers!

Geo1970 · Answer

That’s a ridiculous contempt,
At the end of the day, we are all human being, we should be judged on what our personalities are like, kindness, how easy we are to get on with, helpfulness, and so on.
Not on what sex we are!

DishLady · Answer

Bc ultimately one or the other catches feelings and burrows them and partners catch on to the tension but the “friends” deny it… It’s messy, but not impossible.

Nikki1989 · Answer

You will find those people struggle to be friends with anyone.

Finchie40 · Answer

They can be if there is no attraction whatsoever, but if there is attraction then that can cause drama ,

thegreenyogi · Answer

I think it depends on the experiences people have had and possibly misconceptions.

SotiCoto · Answer

Because some people are desperate and have no standards, so they're incapable of seeing any member of the opposite gender as anything more than something to fuck.

Anonymous · Answer

Because male friends always try to f*ck you. They try to undermine and interfere in any relationship you are in.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I’m not sure. I don’t agree with that statement.

exitseven · Answer

They themselves are not capable of separating physical urges from a real friendship/

Anonymous · Answer

Because to some people the opposite gender is ONLY to be exploited. Which means they have a narrative they work from. They don't view the opposite gender as human beings, which means they cannot respect them, nor be friends with them.

Twalli · Answer

because a lot of people only become friend with those of the opposite gender if they have some sexual attraction towards them. So it's not a true friendship, because they're just a potential partner.

MrChinaski · Answer

Most of my friends are women. There is no tension. It's just friendship.

DrPepper12 · Answer

It IS weird. Very. Only anxious losers worry about that shit.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

If one person is attracted to another then it's impossible to be friends because someone is going to want more.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they can’t. I’ve fucked many of my female “friends”. Society often likes to blame men but the women are the ones who let me have sex with them. They wanted it just as much as I did. Sooner or later it always turns physical.

jahaims · Answer

Most people are too immature for it to work so they assume everyone is like them

SamWinchester058 · Answer

It's possible. I think if the guy isn't interested in her, then sure. But if it's the other way around I think it becomes difficult.

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

Because more often than not, one catches feelings.

foxsquirrell · Answer

Because how long can you go without getting intimate.

Anonymous · Answer

If one side not find the attravctive the other side. This is the only possible way to being friends. I was thinking like that in the past but now I am more tolerant than that man and woman can be friends. Maybe not close friend

Silver158 · Answer

because they only talk to the opposite sex to get something from them.

Anonymous · Answer

I guess they are too conservative. I'm sure that men and women can be just friends.

cheating-test_com · Answer

Because your “male friend” would sleep with you if given the chance.

Anonymous · Answer

They can but they have to find each other unattractive or it would be very awkward.

chrissykerdock · Answer

do you know that means no blowjobs

Anonymous · Answer

It's possible. Those who say it's impossible are socially inept.

fonduegirl · Answer

Amatonormativity.

LiaRaven · Answer

I’ve never met such people

Chocolatetwopointtwo · Answer

bc men always fall inlove with her

Toadlyu · Answer

Because we get attarcted

Anonymous · Answer

Because they are evil

In_Trance · Answer

Because it's true

Anonymous · Answer

Shut up, bitch

Why do some people feel men and woman cannot be friends?

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Why do SOME men think men and women can't be friends?

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Why do SOME men think men and women can't be friends?

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