Are these things a man would do to just a friend, or only someone they are interested in?

[Louzey]

I've become friends with a coworker (save the lecture, it's just retail). I believe we both have feelings and that's where it's heading, but he's scared to make a move (severe insecurity and risk of work problems most likely) and so am I. And I still have some doubts, so I'd like feedback. Are these things he has done just something a guy would do if he sees you as a friend? I'm autistic (he is too) so I have trouble with this stuff :( We're both single by the way and are aware of that.

-gives a custom nickname, and petnames ("my dear" "yes maam" "the lady")

-sent a sleepy shirtless picture (not full body but the shoulders were showing)

-has told his friends/family about me

-does things for me even though it's not his favorite (taking pictures with me, watching my favorite show)

-subtle touches like nudging and patting the back, playfully touching my knee

-shares very personal life stuff

-wants to spend time with me (I always do the final planning though, we've hung out 3 times - seen 2 movies, and the third time took a walk then went to dinner)

-willing to drive 30+ minutes to see me

-told me he doesn't know when he's being flirted with and also is scared to touch women without explicit permission

This sounds so obvious typing it out but I'm still conflicted. Looking primarily for male feedback but will gladly take anyone's opinion. I really don't wanna be the one to bring it up to him, so maybe also some tips on how to clearly show him I'm open to taking it further?

he's interested

just a friend

Updates

9 mo

oh also one of the things that gives me mixed signals is that is isn't great at replying to texts, even when they're texts that need a reply. He's also a chronic oversharer with most people so that's not fully exclusive to just something he does to me.

[HollyK21]

The thing with work-related romance (despite the obvious cons that you’re not trying to hear us mention), it’s hard to know whether he’s flirting out of genuine interest or convenience. I’ve had a couple male work friends in the past where we got along well, may have had some flirty dynamics and even hung out outside of work for taco Tuesdays and some weekend nights. But the connection quickly fizzled out once I left the job or vice versa. I even have friends who’ve both had and have this sort of situation going on. Ultimately I think without asking him directly, you’re just going to be in your own head. You most likely are already doing things that show you’re interested and don’t need to make any majorly blatant gestures, let give him a bit of credit for not being that stupid/naive.


I think you agree he could reluctant for work related reasons, so this could be a thing where if he is interested, he won’t pursue unless one of you quits the job. It would suck otherwise, like if you gave it a shot, things didn’t work out and now you’ve got to navigate around each other. If you already think he’s shy and/or awkward imagine him after something like that.

[Anonymous]

If he is truly a male, he is probably interested.

[Xawyx-2]

I think you should talk to him, take some initiative.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a player to me