I think most of them are true and for the most part only useful for the initial stages of dating. But can you imagine being in a long term relationship or marriage where the GF/Wife NEVER called? I mean, what if she needed you to pick up milk or something? It's like they're expecting every guy to meet the magic girl that turns him into the perfect boyfriend by the shear fact that it's "TRUE LOVE." Because the perfect boyfriend that is REALLY into you calls every day so you don't HAVE to call him to tell him to pick up milk.
I do however think the "rules" are a good starting point for getting girls to have some standards and not put up with guy's games (yeah they play them too!) or players.
I think a man's response to you depends entirely on his emotional maturity and willingness to give serious thought to the kind of person you are verses the kind of woman he thinks he wants. If it's his nature to be cautious, no phone calls for two weeks (which is an eternity to women) is nothing to be worried over because to him...2 weeks is no time at all. If he's approached you romantically and then stopped communicating with you then yeah, he's probably decided you're not the one. If he's feeling you out because he's seriously interested in you for something long term...he will take his time because he's afraid to make the wrong choice.
Geez...lol. I think I just answered my own question.
They are pretty much saying not to call him at all, so I could understand why a guy wouldn't call for two weeks if a girl was giving him mixed signals. ha ha
OK, this is my new favorite quote: "Everybody fears rejection. The ones who ask you out are just willing to risk it." Can I use it?? lol pleeaasee!!! lmbo, not seriously, it's really good!!!!
i'd agree with 2 (assuming he hasn't given an upfront reason)
&
7 kind of, we might be busy at the time, but there's no excuse for forgetting about you altogether, and not getting back in touch later, when we're not busy.
anyone that would believe all the rest of this stuff, it says more about them. ie they have some kind of superiority complex . I've never met a person that didn't have some problem.
I didn't have a superiority complex when I believed most of these. Just like anything, when you are taught it all your life from many different directions you start to believe them. Also, when we meet a guy that seems to follow these rules, it confirms it in our mind. Kind of like the "nice guy" theory. The theory that girls don't like "nice guys" is false, too, but some guys believe it.
The book is a catch 22. A lot of the things written in that book could be accurate but I have to agree that some are not. It really just depends on the situation, especially with things like the guy not calling. I have to for once agree with the guys on this one, it can be a bit unfair.
I think that each "rule" could be true for guys but they definitely don't apply to all guys. Take #5 for example: a naturally shy guy happens to really like you but he's just too shy to start talking to you. Does this mean he's not into you? Hell no, he's probably obsessed with you but just can't get out of his shell.
I wouldn't put any faith in these rules if I were you.
Okay well I agree that SOME guys really ARE shy. I have to admit...I've experienced shyness myself, as well as known that some guys who are shy have indeed been interested in me. I almost got the impression that the guy was NOT into me, or the guy is playing games w/myfeelings. That's how a shy guy can come across sometimes.
BUT! MY question is: How does a girl know when a guy is into her but SHY, vs. when he's REALLY just NOT into her? How can a girl tell the difference?
If he's shy but is interested in her it will be difficult for him to initiate contact. He'll light up and smile if she starts talking to him, although it might take a couple tries to bring him out of his shell. You should be able to tell by the way he talks to you, especially if you two exchange numbers. Texting./online chat are much easier ways to talk for shy guys. Try talking to him online and try to get him to talk about himself a little.
If he's not into you his answers will be shorter and he won't really help move the conversation along. Then again, he might do this if he's shy too. Haha it can be a fine line but his body language should show if he's into you or not.
those kinds of book, he's not that into you, men are from mars..., art of seduction, the game, etc. I think they ruined me for life. when I go out on dates, I try to analyze every movement and every gesture a guy makes.
Good for you for admitting that. It's part of the answer to what to do. We should just have fun with the person we are with and if they don't accept us we can move on before it gets bad enough for us to want to seek a book that will have the answer.
I thought the men are from mars serious was actually pretty good, but maybe for the 30's crowd. I only listened to the one about long-term relationships though and not one geared towards dating. It was kind of pointing out how our differences can compliment each other as long as we don't harp on the differences and embrace them.
I hear ya girl! But you'll soon be your own self again. It ruined me for a few years, but now I just decided that I am going to be upfront - though I do make sure that I let him know my feelings in doses that he can handle so I'm not coming on too strong.
i hate that book, its all common sense. Judge a man on his actions, men are pretty straight forward, there not manipulative etc, there simple creatures! if they like you then they work towards it their own time. Unfortunately, they take ages! to phone back which is torture for the girl! I hate the dating game!
I suspect the reason there are dating books like this are for the girls who have a tendancy to obsess about someone they barely know. The ones who are just too clingy too soon, and are certain that a particular guy is 'the one' when they're really only just beginning to date. So it does have a certain value for people like that, just telling them to 'chill out' and that maybe this dude isn't the be-all and end-all.
For the rest of the population though, I agree that it's not very useful at all.
I have to say, that I believe women believe these things because of the lack of communication between the sexes.. if guys and girls alike started to be more honest, and stop asking everyone else about their relationships, we wouldnt' have books like this around, and we would be able to sort the shit out.
I think almost ALL of that was SOOOOOOOO wrong. Personality is different in different men and women, so to stereotype people like that is just ANOTHER way to sell a book or movie lol
Trust me sometimes there are GREAT guys who ARE into you, but they are a little shy, tired from work, unsure of how YOU feel and just maybe have made a bad mistake before meeting the "wrong one" and doesn't want to get hurt again... just , like, am, women :)
so since we're both so similar, trust your instincts and if you like him, go get him tiger, just look for the signs that maybe he's Really not into you as more than a friend, like if he keeps asking about your "friend" etc...
I must agree with you. 1 thru 7 is a bunch of BS. I am in my 50's. I know that I have never been like that. My friends haven't been like that as far as I know. I believe who wrote this is a mental case looking for a book deal. Just pass it on and find something more interesting to talk about. One thing you should know is you are stunningly beautiful. I wish you were a few more years older. (wink)
If a guy isn't making the first move, but you think he likes you, he's probably shy. I missed MANY opportunities to ask girls out when I was younger out of shyness. If he's not reciprocating your attention on a regular basis, then he's probably not that into you, and you should maintain your self-respect by not chasing him. A real man that is interested in you won't play hard to get.
It's voodoo with new title. Guys are very similar to women. They like attention and sex and they don't like being humiliated. I take any deference at all to "the rules" as a big red flag and time to pack up my lube and make good my escape.
All but the 2nd one is complete BS. Even the second one is open to discussion if say you see him every day anyways, so it might take him longer to call, instead of waiting for face to face interaction.
It is common sense that people make time and effort to do what they like and be with who they like. If they can't due to a real reason, they'll make an effort to let that person know that.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
34Opinion
I think most of them are true and for the most part only useful for the initial stages of dating. But can you imagine being in a long term relationship or marriage where the GF/Wife NEVER called? I mean, what if she needed you to pick up milk or something? It's like they're expecting every guy to meet the magic girl that turns him into the perfect boyfriend by the shear fact that it's "TRUE LOVE." Because the perfect boyfriend that is REALLY into you calls every day so you don't HAVE to call him to tell him to pick up milk.
I do however think the "rules" are a good starting point for getting girls to have some standards and not put up with guy's games (yeah they play them too!) or players.
I think a man's response to you depends entirely on his emotional maturity and willingness to give serious thought to the kind of person you are verses the kind of woman he thinks he wants. If it's his nature to be cautious, no phone calls for two weeks (which is an eternity to women) is nothing to be worried over because to him...2 weeks is no time at all. If he's approached you romantically and then stopped communicating with you then yeah, he's probably decided you're not the one. If he's feeling you out because he's seriously interested in you for something long term...he will take his time because he's afraid to make the wrong choice.
Geez...lol. I think I just answered my own question.
1. Everybody fears rejection. The ones who ask you out are just willing to risk it.
2. True.
3. Call once in a while, to let him know he still has a chance.
4 False. You feel the girl out, first, and she what she's ready to hear.
5. Some guys are shy. Duh.
6. See 5.
7. Family emergency? Business emergency? Broken phone? Be real. Three, four, five unreturned calls (really, three) that's different.
They are pretty much saying not to call him at all, so I could understand why a guy wouldn't call for two weeks if a girl was giving him mixed signals. ha ha
If a girl NEVER EVER CALLS, EVER, I start thinking "not interested" and I move on.
OK, this is my new favorite quote: "Everybody fears rejection. The ones who ask you out are just willing to risk it." Can I use it?? lol pleeaasee!!! lmbo, not seriously, it's really good!!!!
Hehe. Take it. It's yours.
i'd agree with 2 (assuming he hasn't given an upfront reason)
&
7 kind of, we might be busy at the time, but there's no excuse for forgetting about you altogether, and not getting back in touch later, when we're not busy.
anyone that would believe all the rest of this stuff, it says more about them. ie they have some kind of superiority complex . I've never met a person that didn't have some problem.
I didn't have a superiority complex when I believed most of these. Just like anything, when you are taught it all your life from many different directions you start to believe them. Also, when we meet a guy that seems to follow these rules, it confirms it in our mind. Kind of like the "nice guy" theory. The theory that girls don't like "nice guys" is false, too, but some guys believe it.
I agree with you too. I agree with 2, and 7 is kinda iffy. The rest are utter and complete BS.
The book is a catch 22. A lot of the things written in that book could be accurate but I have to agree that some are not. It really just depends on the situation, especially with things like the guy not calling. I have to for once agree with the guys on this one, it can be a bit unfair.
I think that each "rule" could be true for guys but they definitely don't apply to all guys. Take #5 for example: a naturally shy guy happens to really like you but he's just too shy to start talking to you. Does this mean he's not into you? Hell no, he's probably obsessed with you but just can't get out of his shell.
I wouldn't put any faith in these rules if I were you.
Okay well I agree that SOME guys really ARE shy. I have to admit...I've experienced shyness myself, as well as known that some guys who are shy have indeed been interested in me. I almost got the impression that the guy was NOT into me, or the guy is playing games w/myfeelings. That's how a shy guy can come across sometimes.
BUT! MY question is: How does a girl know when a guy is into her but SHY, vs. when he's REALLY just NOT into her? How can a girl tell the difference?
If he's shy but is interested in her it will be difficult for him to initiate contact. He'll light up and smile if she starts talking to him, although it might take a couple tries to bring him out of his shell. You should be able to tell by the way he talks to you, especially if you two exchange numbers. Texting./online chat are much easier ways to talk for shy guys. Try talking to him online and try to get him to talk about himself a little.
If he's not into you his answers will be shorter and he won't really help move the conversation along. Then again, he might do this if he's shy too. Haha it can be a fine line but his body language should show if he's into you or not.
Hope that helps.
those kinds of book, he's not that into you, men are from mars..., art of seduction, the game, etc. I think they ruined me for life. when I go out on dates, I try to analyze every movement and every gesture a guy makes.
i haven't enjoyed a date in awhile. oh boy.
Good for you for admitting that. It's part of the answer to what to do. We should just have fun with the person we are with and if they don't accept us we can move on before it gets bad enough for us to want to seek a book that will have the answer.
Yeah I agree. I have most of those relationship books, and now it makes me OVERanalyze guys too much.
I just assume that if a guy isn't doing anything, then he must not be interested! Plain and simple!
But...idk...maybe that's not always true?
I thought the men are from mars serious was actually pretty good, but maybe for the 30's crowd. I only listened to the one about long-term relationships though and not one geared towards dating. It was kind of pointing out how our differences can compliment each other as long as we don't harp on the differences and embrace them.
I hear ya girl! But you'll soon be your own self again. It ruined me for a few years, but now I just decided that I am going to be upfront - though I do make sure that I let him know my feelings in doses that he can handle so I'm not coming on too strong.
i hate that book, its all common sense. Judge a man on his actions, men are pretty straight forward, there not manipulative etc, there simple creatures! if they like you then they work towards it their own time. Unfortunately, they take ages! to phone back which is torture for the girl! I hate the dating game!
Lol. We should be more straigth forward when we know they llike us a lot and I bet they will call more often.
Im always straight forward, no BS. Jus say it!
Good for you! It's the best way to be.
I suspect the reason there are dating books like this are for the girls who have a tendancy to obsess about someone they barely know. The ones who are just too clingy too soon, and are certain that a particular guy is 'the one' when they're really only just beginning to date. So it does have a certain value for people like that, just telling them to 'chill out' and that maybe this dude isn't the be-all and end-all.
For the rest of the population though, I agree that it's not very useful at all.
I have to say, that I believe women believe these things because of the lack of communication between the sexes.. if guys and girls alike started to be more honest, and stop asking everyone else about their relationships, we wouldnt' have books like this around, and we would be able to sort the shit out.
I think almost ALL of that was SOOOOOOOO wrong. Personality is different in different men and women, so to stereotype people like that is just ANOTHER way to sell a book or movie lol
Trust me sometimes there are GREAT guys who ARE into you, but they are a little shy, tired from work, unsure of how YOU feel and just maybe have made a bad mistake before meeting the "wrong one" and doesn't want to get hurt again... just , like, am, women :)
so since we're both so similar, trust your instincts and if you like him, go get him tiger, just look for the signs that maybe he's Really not into you as more than a friend, like if he keeps asking about your "friend" etc...
lmao
i read this book at the end of 8th/start of 9th grade
n& actually believed this stuff
after reading what the guys on here had to say
i feel foolish for believing it back then ^^;
but hey...i was into a guy, I was young, and a little naive
now that I look back on it now
these 'rules' are BS
because a man and woman have to have equal parts in a relationship
not just have the guy doing all the work
so there are absolutely no rules in love/attraction
I must agree with you. 1 thru 7 is a bunch of BS. I am in my 50's. I know that I have never been like that. My friends haven't been like that as far as I know. I believe who wrote this is a mental case looking for a book deal. Just pass it on and find something more interesting to talk about. One thing you should know is you are stunningly beautiful. I wish you were a few more years older. (wink)
The Scouting Report.
Answer to question
1)not true times have changed it's now sociable accepted
2)half truth unless you know the guys"busy"defined as school,work,friends,family
But if the guy isn't busy all the time than it's true
3)yes true
4)yes
5)not true
6)not true
7)lol that's a good one not true ever hear of being busy
If a guy isn't making the first move, but you think he likes you, he's probably shy. I missed MANY opportunities to ask girls out when I was younger out of shyness. If he's not reciprocating your attention on a regular basis, then he's probably not that into you, and you should maintain your self-respect by not chasing him. A real man that is interested in you won't play hard to get.
It's voodoo with new title. Guys are very similar to women. They like attention and sex and they don't like being humiliated. I take any deference at all to "the rules" as a big red flag and time to pack up my lube and make good my escape.
All but the 2nd one is complete BS. Even the second one is open to discussion if say you see him every day anyways, so it might take him longer to call, instead of waiting for face to face interaction.
no wonder I feel insecure; and the guy who wrote the book is lacks credibility
True.
It is common sense that people make time and effort to do what they like and be with who they like. If they can't due to a real reason, they'll make an effort to let that person know that.
So yes, those rules are true.
i said othhhher because I hadn't read the book or seen the movie yet, but I plan on doing so:]
but after reading the "rules", I'd say some apply to guys maybe, but some are made up. I don't know I don't follow them;p