How does a guy act toward and around a girl he thinks is out of his league?

[VeinsofGlitter]

When he likes her? Will he rule himself out and act like he's not into her?

[kiki631]

I just had this happen and I'm still depressed over it. I will just share my experience. If I say I'm attractive people will jump on me so I will say "I am often told that I'm attractive." Well, I developed a real hell of an infatuation on a guy who works at a place I used to go to frequently. My friends didn't get it, said things like, he's obese, and a neckbeard, a dork, etc etc. I'm into what I'm into, I don't care what society or friends thing one bit. Well, so the first time I flirted with him he looked a bit confused and perhaps bothered. I just kinda teased him very minorly. After that I thought, shit, what have I done? It didn't occur to me that he wasn't used to getting attention from women. Well, the next time I saw him he was staring at me and seemed like he couldn't wait to talk to me. His mood had completely changed and he was like a waggly puppy. I complimented him on something and made conversation and he literally puffed his chest out. It was adorable. After that, he'd stare, notice if I hadn't been there a while by saying how have you *been* instead of how *are* you. Then he started to try to get into my path when I was around and look me in the face waiting to talk. I felt like we were steadily working our way toward becoming closer. Then... inexplicably... he got weird. Nervous. Fiddled around with stuff. Dropped eye contact shyly... But he would still toss himself in my path like hey look at me!! He even started to dress nicer (he wore the same hoodie daily, before we started this up for a while). Well so a few nights ago I give him my number, he smiled and nods... and I never hear from him. I asked a million guy friends and they all said the same thing... he is overthinking/scared/convinced he isn't good enough. He probably doesn't have a lot of money and I can tell he feels self-conscious about his appearance, but, I make enough money, and I love his appearance so much... He doesn't know what I value though, you know? I can't play psychic and assume his worried and try to reassure him without seeming a bit... insulting. Anyway, hope my story is relatable. Its all I got... but I feel ya!!!

[kiki631]

Pardon my typos, I'm in a hurry! Sorry!

[Baconofcanada]

I really hope you were able to get something going with this guy. I can relate to this completely.

[v0nDutch]

They act disinterested, because they know that nothing good would come out of acting or continue being interested.

That's why, when I was single, I wouldn't try to behave or dress sexy in public, because you never know who you're intimidating or turning off. Some guys feel intimidated, other guys feel like you're trying to gas up your own ego and get male attention (turn-off), or that you have this over-valued idea or sense of self-worth about yourself (turn-off).

I can still dress down and not be overtly sexual and still come off as confident and attractive. I think a lot of girls just shoot themselves in the foot by pushing good guys away. So, then, the only guys who end up hitting on you are guys with no feelings and no heart, guys who can't get hurt, so aren't afraid of getting hurt, and that's why they don't think twice about coming over to talk to you.

[Angel0702]

Talk to her! If she has a good personality then she will be open to learn about you and your personality and like you for who you are and not judge you for being "out of her league." If she doesn't want to get to know you for that reason, then she's shallow anyways... some guys thought they were out of my league, but I dated them because I liked them for who they were. (plus I don't see myself as a higher league than others and she may not as well!)

[FirstPlaceNiceGuy]

One thing about "leagues": everyone defines them differently. Some girls go nuts of a tall guy...or a rich guy...or a 6-pack...or a good cologne...or a certain smile...or a specific accent. A girl may be desirable and have options, but that doesn't mean I don't have whatever combination of traits is her "thing".

Bottom line: if I'm attracted, I'll check it out and see if she's attracted too. If she's not, I tend to lose attraction quickly because it's a huge turnoff when a girl isn't interested. Then we could even be friends, and I wouldn't care.

[Brontosaurus]

Basically, yes. I know in such cases that I have a tendency to go out of my way to be as harmless and disinterested as possible. That last thing you want to do when you run into a girl "out of your league" is come across as a creep, which in "girl speak" is basically any guy who shows unwanted interest or gives unwanted attention.

[Carcigenicate]

Does he ever initiate conversation with you, or do usually talk to him first? And were you guys talking before he sat down away from you? He might be too shy to start a conversation, especially if your not good friends. Try getting to know him a little better and see if he starts seeming more interested. If he does consider you out if his league, he could feel intimidated by you.

[Carcigenicate]

Does he ever initiate conversation with you, or do usually talk to him first? And were you guys talking before he sat down away from you? He might be too shy to start a conversation, especially if your not good friends. Try getting to know him a little better and see if he starts seeming more interested. If he does consider you out if his league, he could feel intimidated by you.

(Sorry for the reposts. I tried replying directly to your comment, but that didn't work)

[Carcigenicate]

Theres a lot of variables to give a solid answer. Some guys are more prone to becoming submissive (acting shy, looking down/around), while someone else might act more passive and uninterested; possibly out of nervousness to avoid contact.

[VeinsofGlitter]

Since you say avoid contact... Can I assume a guy who stares at me constantly and is ridiculously happy when I talk to him and likes to pull me aside in a group to talk to me alone BUT sees me sitting down and takes the chair and moves it away from me before sitting down is shy or disinterested? Because that's what he did and it threw me off given the other signs.

[no1knows]

I guess you could say that, there's actually a girl I like but trying to move on because I think she's wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too good and pretty for me, and even tho she sits behind me I don't even say hi to her anymore :(

[SalsaShark9]

I'll talk to them, but there's no sense in embarrassing myself by indicating any level of interest since I know there's nothing I can do.

[amcurious]

HEY EVERYONE... so what do you do when he stops saying hi just looking at you from a far... especially when you like him

[MrWrong]

Nah, I'll try anyway. I figure nothing ventured, nothing gained, I might as well go down swinging.

It won me a girl before.

[HateBeingSingleAspie]

low confidence levels around you, that's obvious, but people argue, say that leagues are real, or they are mental excuses

[Anonymous]

well I just avoid her most of the times...but from a far distance my eyes are all over her...

[crazybastard]

yea I just talk some random stuff to make it seem like I'm neutral

[larry69]

I get nervous..I try anyway..lol..I honestly have ruled myself out many times

[Damienthedemon]

I don't see any league