Does confidence matter when you are ugly? (Page 2)

Question

No girl lets me talk to her at all , so I can never get a convo with a woman . Whether I'm trying to hit on them or not ( I have very low standards because I'm bottom trash of males ) . I've seen men who are afraid of women but they are good looking and I see women chasing him no matter how much he avoids them and never speaks one word . I've seen unattractive people who seem happy with their lives get called "annoying guy who thinks he is too good" . Even a few questions on this site , girls answer if there is no initial attraction , then confidence doesn't matter , and since my ugly face doesn't will never attract anyone , should I give up 2 years of wasting time at the gym , should I give up trying to be social , should I give up on hoping that some girl might be desperate enough to date me ? I'm getting suicidal thoughts and I can't take it anymore . Does it matter ?

GurlwithGun15 · Answer

Confidence could be useful in most cases, but you don't nessisarily need it to get a girl. Believe it or not there ARE women out there that don't care about looks or how a man dresses. They just look at his heart and go from there:). That's what I usually do. You'll find the right woman but it just takes time and patience. Trust me, being patient will definitely be worth it when your happy as can be with her(: Do you like to read? Maybe you could go to a library or a church. Good nice girls could be there. Don't go out to clubs and what not more shallow girls tend to bein those spots but then again every girl is different and they have their own hobbies so idk. I wish you the best of luck sir... Your life is very meanigful and you HAVE a purpose in this world. You don't need a women to complete your life. Remember that:)

Alonso14 · Answer

Women are primarily attracted by looks so I understand your pain. People preach this 'men care about looks, women care about personality' sh*t but I've never seen any real evidence that is true. However their standards are often reflective of the men they can realistically attain. This means if you are ugly your only hope is to go for very undesirable women. Even then your success rate will be low and require you to meet many women. The same as the average guy can't have any average woman, he has to try it with lots of them before one will accept him.

Another route you could try is plastic surgery and/or steroids to improve your attractiveness.

Alternatively you could attempt to forget about women and be happy without them, this is very difficult but take a look into things like meditation to help you deal with these thoughts of needing female company. You won't die without it, you can be happy without it, its all in your head.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not attractive but girls are always starting conversations with me because I'm confident and I show it. I don't care what people think of me, I just do what I do. I can be talking about videogames or comic books on purpose to turn them off and yet they ask me questions about them and show interest. They will call me a nerd ot s Comic-Con regular and yet they keep coming back.

I don't really put any efforts and pretend to be cool, I am just that way and that attracts them. There's this girl right now who, supposedly, didn't find me attractive but now she is on my case all the time, teasing me, talking to me and recently she started staring at me, making eye contact and, surprisingly, wearing this bright red lipstick and smiling the whole time she is talking to me, so yes, confidence helps.

Munchkins · Answer

Yes it does. I dated a guy who really wasn't good looking but he was so charming, it was never a challenge for him to meet girls, hot girls. And he was good in bed (that helps). But you really do have to change your mindset and believe you're the sh*t. Would you wana date yourself? This question extends beyond your looks. Would you enjoy hanging out with yourself? Become the type of person you'd like to date?

frannybu · Answer

obviously the advice people are giving you is not working out for you. I think you should do some kind of charity or do some volunteering, that way women are forced to talk to you, and with a good impression. Not to say you will get a girlfriend, but you can socialize with women and hopefully make a friend who is a girl and maybe she can help you(there is only so much the internet can help you with) with your women troubles. Plus I think volunteering would give you a better feeling about yourself.

desidoll · Answer

I am sorry if I tell you something that you don't wanna hear but as a girl,no confidence won't give any differences if I don't find him physically attractive.I am not sure how do you look like but I don't think you are ugly as how you think.My suggestion is work on your appearance,find out your flaw and appear more attractive than usual.

yangyuan · Answer

Well,how about this:

I understand how you feeling,cause I have the same feeling when I was in high school. In that period,I was extremely desperate,I was alone,no one talked to me(actually it was me who had no courage to talk to others,because I was in low self-esteem).

But now,I'm feeling better,of couse,I'm still the way I was,I mean,the changed part is my mind,I started to accept myself.I trust myself that I deserve a good return. It's hard for me to describe.In a word,have faith in yourself!

smalls1995 · Answer

Start appreciating things about you and liking yourself. How are you going to find a girl to appreciate you if you can't enjoy anything about yourself? If you just easily tear yourself down like this it will be so much harder to find someone. Once you start appreciating yourself, girls will notice that and it will be so much more attractive. Also, if you meet a girl and you just point out your flaws it's super unattractive.

kaorirecreation · Answer

i'd say don't give up. if confidence a lone doesn't work, try humor. I don't know a girl on earth that doesn't like to laugh. You already seem pretty smart, and girls always say they want someone "smart, funny and good looking"  maybe with a good joke as an icebreaker you can hold her attention with the first two qualities and she may overlook to last.

up2nogoood1 · Answer

Ok, so yeah pretty much if a girl is not physically attracted to you, your personality will not matter. However, that is a really shallow perspective. All girls are different, all of my friends have completely different taste in guys. To one girl you might be ugly, to another you could be her prince charming. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. But I know you're not looking for cheesy lines like that you are looking for advice. So here I'll try.

I have noticed that nowadays it is harder to meet people because no one goes on dates anymore and everyone seems to be meeting on the internet. So you might want to give that a try. I found this website called skout.com and you can find other singles in your area and chat with them.

Also sometimes, you need change maybe to move somewhere. I live in San francisco and we have just about every kind of person living here you can imagine, I would say if you moved here you would more then likely find someone. Good luck! :)

soconfused94 · Answer

If there is no initial attraction then most of the time confidence does not matter, well for me at least. I wouldn't be mean  or rude like the girls your describing. Usually I would still be friends or get to know the person I'm unattracted to but I wouldn't lead them on in any way. But to be honest I've started to like someone I once thought was unattracted before just because I liked their personality. Maybe you just need to boost your self esteem a little.

Hannah591 · Answer

Confidence is a trait that does attract people so if you're ugly but very confident with a very vibrant personality, then you should be fine. If you're not confident and you're not good looking, then you kind of fade into the background which is never good.

I doubt you're as ugly as you make yourself out to be. You're as good looking as you feel. Never give up on the gym or your life for that matter over such a trivial thing. Even the ugliest people in the world (and even the fattest man in the world) have gotten married or have partners so you will find one one day, you just need to be patient and not be so down on yourself.

CorneliaisPretty · Answer

I hope I don't come off as a total douche(because I don't mean to), but if you say that girls run away from you and won't talk to you because of your appearance, maybe its because you are chasing some of the better looking girls? Maybe you should try being with a girl who's less attractive?

Wow I sound like a jerk -_- I'm sorry

tadpole25 · Answer

Well, here's an honest answer.

An answer like you're ugly and girls will never date you even if you have a cool personality, will get you upset, or it will make you happy to indulge in pity.

And any positive answer of encouragement will get shot down as cliche.

What's the solution?

Anona · Answer

Honestly, trying to talk to a girl hoping that she might someday be your girlfriend is the worst mistake you can make. It just screams desperation - which is a turn off, no matter how good looking or confident you may be. Just let go- focus on being a sensitive, good mannered guy instead. If you frequent a particular place such as office or college, girls around you will take notice. If you accidentaly start talking to a girl, don't jump in by asking her out at the first chance. For people who are not very fortunate looking, things like romance happen slowly. But it does happen.

Mr8827 · Answer

I'm with you my man. The greatest thing you can learn in life is that none of those things you mentioned really matter in the bigger scheme of things. Once you have nothing to lose, you can simply be what you want to be. Eat, drink, be merry and do good in what you can, and let the rest over to the wind, then blessings will not stop coming your way.

skycarey02 · Answer

I think it is important.People often say that there is pressure just has power.But I think self-confidence also can give people power.If you have the pressure ,unfortunately

you also know you will not come true your dream,what will you do?On the contrary, if you believe you can succeed, if you can flay you move forward

Shayberry09 · Answer

Yes confidence counts no matter what you look like. No female wants a man that has no confidence in himself. I'm not gonna give you a pep talk all I'm gonna say is walk with your head held high because without confidence in yourself how can anyone else see you let alone what to get to know you

Anonymous · Answer

Those efforts should be working by now.

Perhaps, you are just having a bad luck at meeting women.

After all, some women will not like you not matter what, but some women will like you no matter what. All you're doing will soon reap big rewards. You simply have to approach a lots of women.

beastmode24 · Answer

Alright bro, there are a million responses so I apologize if I repeated anything.

But I have questions for you-

What are you actually saying to girls? What makes you believe that the rejection is based off your looks, and not your approach? For all we know you can be walking like a nervous creepy guy and mumbling words to them with a low tone of voice. So what are you saying and how are you saying it?

You say you go to the gym, but are you jacked? I don't care what girls say, but physique does matter. It matters big time. Girls love jacked guys. You may be fit and you may go to the gym, but are you jacked? Physically imposing? There are so many little things that matter.

I ask these questions because I know so many dudes that blame their failure with women on their height and looks, rather than really examining what they are doing.

Does confidence matter when you are ugly? (Page 2)

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