I'm choosing to remain anonymous because even though I am pretty much over my disorder I'm still uncomfortable with people knowing I have it. That and I'm usually too nervous to post under my own username anyway.
Anyways, after being pretty much over my disoder, upon browsing the internet in my usual places I would see a lot of people with panic disorder struggling to cope and just at a loss on what to do. This made me so sad, here I am all happy and finally free and others are still having a hard time. I decided to do my bit of good and help. No doubt the moment I ever write the magic words "I beat my disorder" I have a flurry of people with desparate eyes flocking to me saying "How?!" So I decided to share what I know in hopes it helps someone, anyone, even just one person, even if it's not you that suffers but you know someone who does and you pass on the info. Just to let you know, I am no expert, I am no doctor, I am just a girl who went through it and studied about it. Also to let you know that not everything works for everyone so don't be discouraged if you try tips and it seems to not work, it really takes time and patience. Another disclaimer, you may not be completely 'free' if you get my gist, even I'm not completely free myself but I'll explain more.
About me
I was diagnosed with panic disorder when I had a crazy huge panic attack at age 16. I realised I'd actually been having panic attacks for years I just didn't know that's what they were. I also developed two irrational fears: knives and snakes. It was my 2 years of college (UK college) and it was a horrendous time where the attacks literally took over my life. I won't go into too much detail but eventually I had enough. I took charge and now, 5 years later, I'm pretty much panic attack free and my anxiety has been pretty low. I've probably had about 3 attacks all year and they are so mild they barely bother me.
Quick run down of panic attacks
Panic Disorder is General Anxiety Disorder with the inclusion of panic attacks. This is targeted to people with panic attacks and not just anxiety but it will help. Panic attacks are your body going into meltdown mode. Your heart races, your breaths get shallow, you feel fatigued, nauseated, dizzy, you shake uncontrollably, probably burst into to tears and to top it all off you get thoughts of impending doom and "you're gonna die". It's a really unpleasant experience and your first attack can be super scary (apparently I didn't even notice my first attack but I noticed that big one when I was 16). Attacks last anywhere from minutes to hours. The thing is anyone can get a panic attack, disorder or not, but with the disorder you're more prone to getting them frequently.
So let's get on to the steps. Again these are just from my experience and a guideline only, tailor everything to you and consult a doctor. Funny thing is, when I went to my doctor what did he say to me? "So what are you gonna do about it?" then sent me away with a pack of pills. Thanks, doc. Anyways if you're serious about this that brings me to the first point.
You have to want to get better
As with anyone with an form of disorder or mental illness, you will have people who actually don't want to get over it. They like the pity or are so far into it that they have no will to climb out. Unfortunately, if you want it gone or reduced you'll have to really want this and want to, well not get better, makes you sound sick but reduce it. Tell yourself: "I WILL get over this!"
"I CAN beat this!"
Seriously, do it. When you start making that conscious decision to something about it and take that control your journey has begun. Control and taking it is a repeating thing I'm going to be talking about. On to the next point.
Research
You'd think learning the ins and outs of panic attacks and the disorder would make it worse right? Not really. See, the more you understand something the less likely you are to fear it. Fear: our second buzzword that goes hand in hand with panic attacks that I will be repeatedly mentioning. I did a lot of research, I read books, leaflets, read other people's experiences and not just about the disorder but about depression and the human emotion system as a whole. I felt a bit better knowing exactly what it was I was dealing with.
Look after your health
This is obvious but so darn overlooked. The first thing I tell people when they ask about how to reduce their attacks is "are you taking care of your health?" Caffwine, sugar and alcohol are like the enemy. All three of those things fuel your panic attacks, try cutting them down or out altogether. I no longer drink alcohol, don't do caffeine and sugar...well, I'm still working on that one. But I saw a big different from when I was actively gorging on sugar and caffeine to when I would slow down or cut it out, my attacks pretty much halved. Also, drink your water, eat healthily and exercise. Oh gosh, yes, exercise. It helps so much especially with the heart palpitations!
Be positive
The physical symptoms are bad but they are actually pretty natural. I'll explain further down but what is the real killer is the mental symptoms. Those darned thoughts! It's so easy to get wrapped up in them and be sent spiralling down into a cave of fear and doom. It can make you feel caged in your own head. You need to work on getting out of that cage and you can do this by actively thinking and being positive. Do not ever underestimate what positive thinking can do, it seems useless but it's really not. In fact, this is the biggest helper in reducing the attacks. Everytime you think something terrible or doom-like, reinforce yourself with positive things over and over and over and over again."I'm not going to die. I've been through this, I know that I am fine."
"It's ok, I am perfectly fine, these symptoms are natural."
"I am beautiful, I can do this, I can take control."
Whatever you need to say to yourself, just keep those thoughts up, it's so important that you do.
Have a support person or item
If not a person then an item. I couldn't really run to my mother and after a while my best friend got tired. It's ok, I know dealing with someone with panic disorder or anxiety is draining. I switched to a support item which I read in a self-help book. It was a bottle of water. Taking a sip helped but even just holding it made me somehow feel a bit better. Get that support item or even better, a person, one who's got the patience and understanding to deal with it all whilst you...recover? I guess, yeah, recover.
Be careful with medication
The pack of pills my doctor had sent me away with, he told me to take one every time I felt an attack coming. So I did. What I wasn't told is that the pills contained valium, I'd get extraordinarily tired, especially in the middle of class. My friend got super annoyed with me and being so lethargic. But it wasn't what happened when taking the pills that bothered me, it was what happened when I stopped. I ran out of pills fairly quickly and I had no more left. As a side effect my panic attacks tripled, they were so hard hitting and horrible, I'd have about 5-6 a day from my usual 2-3. I rushed back to my doctor who didn't want to give me more because of the valium in them and instead I was given something else. "Take one when you feel your heart racing." This one had no leaflet so I quickly went and read up about it. It was a pill that slowed the heart rate down and one thing stuck out to me: "Do not stop taking this medication. If you are not weened off properly then side effects include death." Death? DEATH?! I went straight into a panic attack. I wasn't weened off my last pack of pills, I was off them right away and my doctor didn't want to ween me off, what if I wasn't weened off these ones and...you know? I was so scared I threw them in the cupboard and never looked at them again. I still have today, untouched. I researched about medications that they give to sufferers of panic disorders and they all had these terrible side effects. There was no way I wanted to deal with them. As well as that, with my first pack of pills I had become reliant on them. I popped them so quick I ran out within the week. I didn't want to be reliant on pills, especially as they didn't help and they didn't make my panic attacks better, just masked them with fatigue. Every time I see a PD sufferer talk about how much medication they're on I always ask "have you considered coming off the meds?" And they get alarmed "I could never do that!" Yes, you can, but do it properly and only if you really want to. Try not to be reliant on the medication, they don't seem worth it or at least be careful with the ones you take. Pleas consult your doctor on this section and if you have a doctor like mine, switch immediately.
Go visit those places
Ever had a panic attack in a place and been reluctant to go back there again? I have. I would avoid sitting at the back of the 284 bus because of the multiple panic attacks I'd have there. I sucked it up because my best friend liked to sit there and I didn't want to burden her more with my PD 'drama'. (Yes, I eventually stopped being friends with that best friend, if you're asking.) I thought it was terrible at the time but I came to realise avoidance makes it all worse. I would never go anywhere where I didn't have a quick exit but this was not helping me, only detaching me further from reality and life. Be brave, try to revisit those places and have your support item/person and do your positive thinking. Over time you will realise you are not afraid of the place but the attack that coincidentally comes on when you are in that place.
Breath
"Lol lol lol, what?" You say. I know, I know, breathing is pretty hard in the midst of an attack but it is important you do it to calm down. Most people will say take deep breaths but this made me feel like I was choking. I read somewhere that it may be because you're getting too much oxygen (I know, what?) and to breath into a paper bag or your hands over your mouth and nose for a little bit. I did this so much it became habit to instantly do whenever an attack came on. But it helped, especially the paper bag (PAPER bag, not plastic, ok). Either take the nice deep breaths or take them in a paper bag or your hands, whatever helps you. Meditating or yoga also helps. If you have a hard time relaxing like I did and still do then forget that and just exercise.
Seize control
Let's look at your symptoms of a panic attack: heart racing, loss of breath, shaking, fatigue, dizziness. Well, if I didn't know any better I'd think that someone was describing a normal person at the end of a strenuous workout. That's because it's what it is. See I said earlier the symptoms were natural, well they are but they're coming on in an unnatural way which is why you react to it negatively but in reality if you were working out and feeling all these things you wouldn't think twice about it. I hope that helps you in gaining control of them. The fear stems from a loss of control, often people who suffer PD tend to control a lot of aspects in their life. Me and my friend, for instance, control pretty much every little detail and hate when there is something we can't control. But in order to get a one-up over these attacks you have to give up that control and then take it back. I read somewhere that to get rid of an attack you have to completely give up control and let it do it's worse to you. "Are you crazy?!" I asked. But I tried it. And it was HORRIBLE and it was hard and I gave up several times. But you know what? When I finally did it I said "was that it?" I KNOW! I was shocked. My body threw everything it could at me but I did my breathing, I did my positive thoughts and instead of running from it I just let it happen and it stopped and my control was gained. Try it, I guarantee you'll hate it and it'll take several attempts but it helps you to understand that control and what role it plays in the attacks. As long as you fear the attacks it will continue to affect you, control is one step to getting over that fear.
Speak about it
Ask me to say the words 'anxiety', 'panic', 'disorder'. I wouldn't do it. I still don't. I clammed up about it because I was embarassed of people knowing. I didn't want people to think I was crazy or...broken. It's a hard thing to deal with so don't clam up about it. Speak about it to someone and you will feel 100 times better. It's a relief to be able to reel on. I let people reel off about it all the time. Also, how will people understand if you don't let them know? Which is what I realised, people didn't understand it so they were mean to me about it. Telling me to just "get over it" and it's "not a big deal". It was a big deal but they weren't to know if I didn't tell them anything. It got better when I spoke about it. When I met my new best friend, I was able to tell her everything. In fact, since I had spoken about ti so much with her she knew exactly what it was when she herself also had a panic attack and got diagnosed with the same thing. We then always spoke to each other and leant on each other for support. So yes, talk about it with someone, even a diary.
Face your fear
When I did the whole losing/taking control thing I had to face my fear. My fear of having this attack and pretty much letting it happen. It was scary but once I had done it it became easier to keep doing it. As with anything in life, to get over your fear you have to face it head on. This is one of my last points because it's the biggest one, the most important one, the one that I felt was the difference between sitll having 2-3 attacks a day to having only 3 in a year and it all links back to my first point. That you have to want to, when you get brave and you do make that decision to face the fear no matter how you do it, whether it be talking about it or going to that place you had that attack, you will yield results. When I was no longer afraid the panic attacks were harmless, see I said above that the 3 I had this year were mild? They are more like a mild annoyance than the huge deals I had faced just 2 years ago and all because I learned to face my fear. Now, don't get me wrong, I still can't see a snake and I still shove knives underneath things so I don't see them, I'm working on those things but for now my panic attacks - or what's left of them - are nothing really.
Oh gosh am I done? No, I have one more thing.
It takes time
This is my final point and the most important, yes I know I just said that about the last point but no, really, this one is super dupeer important. After I tell everyone how I did it, how I reduced my attacks to almost nothing and I'm living free out of my mental cage, they either take the tips and go off with a smile or they are skeptical. "It's not working, I tried it but it doesn't work." Did you allow time? When I did all of these things they did not take me a week, or a day, or a even a month. No. They took me 2 years. That's a long time but what do you expect when working with a mental disorder? It literally involves changing yourself, your views and your way of thinking all to combat somethign you never asked for are are even sure where it came from in the first place. It takes time, don't rush it. Take all the time you need, you are important, this is your mental health, work on it as often as you need to. I had a relapse, I reverted back at points, sometimes I gave up, it's ok, you're allowed to, everyone's allowed to. But keep on plowing, I promise you it'll be worth it, it was worth it for me. I used to feel like I was trapped in a cage, like no one in the world understood me or what I was going through and I was detached from reality, now I don't feel that way and who knew? WHo knew I could get to this point? You can too, you can do it, I'm rooting for you! Annnddd I'm crying. Dammit, I told myself I wouldn't cry writing this! Too late, I guess.
Well that's it. That's what I did, my "tips", my "advice", whatever you want to take from it. I hope this helps someone. Like I said above, even if it helps one person I'll be happy. If you want to know more or more support or some words of encouragement just let me knwo to message you in your comment and I will, please conceal my identity though. And again, I'm no expert or doctor, I'm just a woman who went through it, who decided she didn't want to do it any more and she beat it. So go on, you become the next person to do this, yay!
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