How to know when you're getting old..

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I had so much fun making my other take about old age:

"You Know You're Getting Old When.____" Wednesday.

I thought I'd do a part 2...

I guess this is where I need to add a DISCLAIMER🙄:

This take is meant in fun, and if you can't take a joke or are one of those PC people, then kindly just move on to another post, thanks!

Okay, now that that's out of the way, I hope you enjoy.. We all gonna get old some day, oh wait . I'm already there🤣 some people choose to be miserable about it, I choose to find the humor in it..

So here's my guide to how you know you're getting old:

You know you're getting old when you find yourself shopping for You Know You're Old When ... Humorous Old-Age Jokes.

you know you're getting old when you feed your toupee and wear your cat and realize that's the closest your face has been to a pussy in a long time...

You know you're getting old when you have to bend to your ankles to fondle your balls

You know you are old when you can cough, fart, sneeze and pee at the same time
.

You know you are old when you have sex on the first date because there might not be a second. Ever.

You know you are old when "Getting any?" means sleep.

You know you are old when the only thing that gets hard is arteries.

You know you are old when you can live without sex, but not your glasses
.

You know you're getting old when
you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you.

You know you're old when a dude sticks two fingers up your ass and your insurance pays for it..

Getting Old
An older couple is driving down to Florida from New Jersey for the winter. The old lady, who has lost much of her hearing, is pulled over at the Florida state line for driving at a high rate of speed.

The officer approaches the vehcile, looks in and asks the lady, "do you know that I clocked you at 92 MPH?" The deaf old gal says "what, huh?". Her husband tries to help by nearly yelling at her "YOU WERE SPEEDING".

Cop then asks "license and registration, please". The lady looks up and says "huh,what?". Her husband leans over and says a bit loudly "HE WANTS YOUR LICENSE".

She hands the policeman her license, and the officer who is getting tired of this translator bit mutters under his breath, "you're from New Jersey, I had the worst piece of ass of my life in New Jersey".

The lady, who still can't hear anything, says, "what did he say?". Her husband leans over and yells: "HE SAYS HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU".

I hope you enjoyed!!

Thanks for reading!🤗

Brainsbeforebeauty ♥️

[TonyMetal___86]

HAHAHA 😂😂 🤣🤣
finally a take from the spongy forehead, it was one of you're best mytakes and made me laugh a lot, also who is this old man in you're 1st photo? Is he ustace from courage the cowardly dog cartoon show? 😅 when i was a teenager and watched the episodes, i always thought that his name useless because he's really useless and i found out just couple of years ago that his real name is ustace 🤣🤣

You're not old at all spongy forehead, you're still young and shining bright like a diamond in the sky waiting for you're spongy forehead to get bitten 😬😄

So i'm wondering how can someone cough, fart and pee at the same time 🤔 HAHAHA...

The old man in the car appears swallowed on his seat, that is totally true, sometimes i see cars on the road thinking that they were operating automatically but than i notice an old man or woman sucked by their seats and are barely visible behind the steering wheel 🤣🤣

Thanks sponge for the mytake, you make everyone happy 😊

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks 😊 glad you got a laugh!

[TonyMetal___86]

You're welcome spongy forehead and thank YOU 😌

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Welcome

[Massageman]

Always a fun read, Brain!

Loose caboose, though? Mine left the train!

I knew I was getting old when I wasn't able to feel the lowest note on my left hand chords when playing the piano or organ.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Aww sorry to hear that 🤗

[Amy10223]

This was so funny. Thank you! I didn't understand the one about the man who was at the doctor, though.
I know I am old, but hey, getting older means a lot of things:
You can expect grandkids to come your way, which is always nice.
You can always give advice to younger generations if they want it.
You get discounts--even at the movies!
You can do anything you want because you're home and retired.
You get to travel if you can afford it.
You don't have to answer to a boss.
You don't have to answer to a husband if you are single (me).
You can enjoy hobbies you weren't able to when you were working.
You can go to any museum or park you want during the day without lines or haggling through crowds.
As a former teache and LDTC, I had to worry about lesson plans and writing reports. No more!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Sounds good.. Nice to see someone point out the positives because some people don't get to live long enough to enjoy those things

[Amy10223]

I'm lucky, but then I hope to be able to do those things when I'm older, if I live to be much older.

[Bside]

Nothing has happened to me yet for me to feel old. I am 39. I am still as limber as I have always been, engage in the workouts and activities I always have. I don't hurt like in my back or anything like that. I still look young so I hear. I wonder what age people feel old. I would say when you start to dress old.

[ohshee]

I'm not really for sure but what I have noticed it's like if you ever been to a grocery store or in a mall and you have old people in front of you I don't care what they're doing with their looking at they just fart and they go about their business but they didn't even fill it out of their ass like it never happened I mean can't they smell it so I guess for me the answer would be. loss of smell LMAO

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣

[AndrésC64]

I remember being under five or six, and thinking that teenagers were old. And as I got older I always figured that people that were 15 years older than me were old. Now I've run out of space to keep pushing the age further and further. So I guess that makes me old. I guess it's bound to happen. 🤣🧓🏻

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lololol that's funny

[Bside]

80 is old. You still are ok. I imagine with how active I am and future botox don't need it yet I will be pretty young in my opinion at your age. Just a number it's how you feel. I feel so young. I don't know how other people my age feel.

[humanearth]

You know your old when when people used to call you stud muffin and now they call you an geezer

You know you are old when have bran flakes and prune juice for breakfast

You know your old when song you heard on radio when your were young is now marked as a oldie but goodie

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lolol

[Guido]

Are you calling me old again!
Old ladies can have lots of fun as they age. Just look at how Betty White was. Your on your way but I have you beat. Have fun with it. Life is short and we get closer to the end every day so make the most of every day.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly!! And you're still kinda young lolol

[Guido]

The brain thinks young but those persistent aches and pains that only come with age haunt me. Lol. Your turn shall come.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Aches and pains don't always come just with age, I been dealing with that since my thirties with my back

[Guido]

Maybe we can put our backs together and make one good one out of two.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣 of that's the case, how's your shoulders? I may need one of them too🤣

[Guido]

Shoulder is good. How are your knees?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣They're okay for the most part, right knee acts up occasionally but it's been pretty good lately..
How's your memory? My long term memory good, but I could borrow your short term memory of it's good cuz mine is slipping lolol

[Guido]

I think we are destined to wonder what we went to the next room for. Lol Short term memory definitely has days where it's not great.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If only it was that, I almost left my van next door the other day and walked home🤦🏼‍♀️ till saw my driveway was empty and realized I was walking right past it🤦🏼‍♀️ in fairness, O usually walk next door and I was dick with headaches that were making it hard to think or concentrate, but still🤦🏼‍♀️ lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

*sick not dick🤣🤣

[Guido]

Being sick can definitely make it worse. At least I haven't left home without my pants yet. Lol 😂😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣 that's a good thing... Especially in wintertime😂

[AviatorTom]

You know you're getting old when the first thing you do when sitting on the floor is developing a plan for getting back up.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lolol how'd you know I need to do that🤣

[TrueConfection]

That's just about where I'm at! 😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@TrueConfection I hear you, maybe we can exchange plans🤣

[TrueConfection]

Right! 😂

[Joker_]

I know I'm getting old ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oh yeah right, you still a youngin lolol

[Lliam]

You con sarn, gul dang, whipper snappers think you're pretty funny, eh? Why I have a notion to tan your hide, 'ceptin' the notion is givin' me a heart attack. Where's my pills?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣 sounds even funnier if it's for you put the teeth in hahaha 🤣

[Lliam]

😲😠 Now I'm REALLY riled, missy! Disrespect your elders, will ya?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Sorry, SIR Mr. Lliam I didn't try to run across your grass, really I didn't🤣🤣

[Lliam]

🤣🤣🤣

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Glad we're still cool 😎 even if we don't "always" agree, we can always share a laugh 💛🤗

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Put your bifocals on to read that old man🤣🤣🤣

[Lliam]

I cut a hickory switch just for you, smarty pants. I might have trouble seeing, but you won't be able to sit.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I'll go to my room with no dinner now papa😔🤣

[Dargil]

You know you are beginning to get old when you lose hair where you want it and grow it where you don't.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lolol right! 😂

[AndrewMG]

I'm on the verge of quitting playing for my Sunday league football team, when the temptatioin of an extra houe in bed is greater than the temptation of meeting up with friends then you know your youthfulness is coming to an end lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Eh you're still a youngin lolol

[AndrewMG]

Alcohol, laziness, cynicalism and the comfort of a warm bed when it's p! ssing it down outside makes me think that my "younginess" was over rated lol, time for the next stage in my life lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lolol got milk🤔🤣🤣

[Breanna_nonbinary]

When fashion from your youth becomes popular again. I hated Fanny packs then and I hate them NOW!!!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣 right!! At work we have to have clear bags on the floor, they were out of tote bags and tried to give me a fanny pack, that was a hell no.. Lolol

[FoxnEagle]

Just move it to one side or the other. Then it's a side satchel and it's "hip" :P

[Breanna_nonbinary]

@FoxnEagle if you poop on an ice cream cone, that doesn’t make it soft serve. It’s still shit.

[FoxnEagle]

It depends on the shit.
If you've been drinking prune juice it's just like soft serve; if you're constipated it's more like rocky road :D

[Breanna_nonbinary]

Ha ha. You just admitted you like eating shit.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Breanna_nonbinary
@FoxnEagle
This thread, though 🤣🤣

[Breanna_nonbinary]

I thought of one more. You realize you’re old when you can remember that MTV actually played music

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣 shit guess I'm old lololol

[Bluemax]

So, ima just put this right here...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/gcOytS96NY8

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣 but kinda sad cuz I could relate to most of that lololol

[Bluemax]

I had a student I hadn't seen in a while run up to me and give me a hug. I let out a little groan because of my arthritis.

She let out a shriek because she thought she injured me! 🤣

Once after kneeling down to help a student my joints popped audibly when I stood up. The student said, "Mr. [Bluemax], you can never be a ninja!"

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣 yeah I've almost been taken out by my grandson's excitement at seeing grandma lolol

[MTC29]

I still haven't done the black socks with white sneakers. Otherwise... well, quite a bit of that is accurate.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

What about knee high socks with sandals🤦🏼‍♀️🤣🤣

[Flower7]

I loved the cartoons and memes! You found very nice illustrations to go with each section.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks 😊

[CrazyGirl2]

Good one! IDNY but I wasn’t expecting jokes! I loved it, thanks!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks 😊 and thanks for reading

[CrazyGirl2]

Always my pleasure 😇

[Texaskid1]

Up , up, down, down, b, a, select, start.

If you know what that is for without looking it up then you are old.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lolol

[Bel88]

I've got no idea what that is about, so I guess I'm still young then :)

[fjb2021]

@Bel88 You are still young, as long as you can down 750 ml of jack and tell Londoners they are pussies because they got hung over after 6 beers.

[fjb2021]

Then what do you do? You down another 750 ml, have 8 guiness, then tell americans to screw off, because everyone else can't get off the porcelain whilst you fry up bacon and sausages.

[Bel88]

@fjb2021 I don't drink alcohol, especially whisky.

[fjb2021]

@Bel88 Don't come off as non libtard Briitish folk. It doesn't work.

[Bel88]

@fjb2021 What?

[FoxnEagle]

HEY! I'm not that old... I'm just a geek, I swear...

[AncientWisdom]

Well I’m 55 I may or may not resemble some of those remarks 🤣🤣🤣✌️

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lolol same here mums the word🤐 lolol

[AncientWisdom]

Yes Ma’am it’s good to laugh at our aging I think it makes us kinder people. Also i love making fun of myself. I crack my children up a lot.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Really? Mine won't admit I'm funny even though their friends always said so.

[AncientWisdom]

Oh yeah my kids love their daddy I always crack em up. I will act like a cranky old man on purpose to get em going. I’m lucky though I raised both my sons alone changed every diaper , wiped every nose , and have provided for them forever into the future. I had to find my feminine side so I could nurture them. I am a man’s man though. Men look up to me. I am happy about that many women look up to me as well.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Well that's good

[BobbyC65]

When it hurts just to get-out-of-bed. In the morning.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Aww shit then I'm old alright lol

[Anonymous]

You are old when women need female Viagra aka pink pill for female sexual dysfunction.
You are old, when your pussy don't get wet after watching porn or foreplay with partner. You are old, when every man rejects you. You are old, when you can't a ride a cock for 5 minutes.
You are old when you have joints pain.
You are old when you can't stretch legs for your partner.
You are old when your pussy don't cums after masturbation or sex.
You are old when women has wrinkles and freckles visible after a makeup.
You are old when you can't bent over for doggy sex.
You are old when you are fat.
You are old when you have fat belly and you can't see your own pussy. You have to see the mirror.
You are old when you have stretch marks visible on your belly.
You are old when you body stinks and pussy smells.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Well guess I'm still young then🤣🤣

[Lucy-123]

You are old when you make weird ass comments about women on the internet lmao

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Lucy-123 🤣🤣🤣

[NorthAfrican]

Salty Incel spotted

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@NorthAfrican Eh think those were meant to be personal digs at me, but people on here fail to realize I don't take offense to petty insults online, they amuse me🤣🤣 and then too, there's a "user" that creates fake accounts to harass my posts enough is kinda funny but also kinda sad cuz that's a disturbed person there that would go through all that to harass someone online, yet it happens too frequently and not to just me, I know other users have had that happen to them as well.

[Bricealan]

Brains, where do you get this stuff?😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Most jokes found online, a few were my own 😅🤣

[Rambling010]

This is good. Took a lot of work. Im 47. Im feeling it a little. But I've lived a fast and hard life. If I exercised Id feel 30.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks... So maybe start exercising..

[Rambling010]

I hate exercise.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I'm not the biggest fan either.. But even walking is good... And I get enough physical exercise at work.. The one job (currently working two) I'm up and down a step ladder for 10 hours, feels like being on a stair climber at the gym for 10 hours minus the gym membership lol

[Rambling010]

I agree. Walking is a lot better than people think. It really is. Moving around at work as long as you're moving is doing more than you can even imagine. I didn't realize this until I became sedentary during a really low part of my life when I was sick. I missed being at work and doing exactly what you're talkin about. I didn't run but I hustled at work. Just around a small kitchen and it was healthy. When you don't move around at all you realize that. I need to get out and walk. Like it or not. I enjoy it once I get my ass up. Take my dog with me. Although the little bastard won't let me walk because he has to sniff everything

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lololol yeah walking is good for your heart, and keeps your limbs limber...
Do you like to swim? Swimming is good exercise and easier on your joints

[Rambling010]

Not too much. Though my home has a nice pool that is clean and well kept. Rarely anyone there. I should check it out. My dad has an in ground and I've not been in there for almost 20 years.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yeah you should, you can swim laps or do water aerobics... Me and my younger daughter used to exercise in the above ground pool we had in the yard.. The older was too lazy to get up that early lol