How is self-emotional abuse detrimental to my well-being?

[Anonymous]

I abuse myself a lot over how bad I am at talking to girls and my poor looks, calling myself all sorts of names oftenly like "dumbass", "retard", "sexually repulsive phaggot", and make all sorts of hurtful comments towards myself.

It's been going on for a few months now and in the first couple of months, I think I went into mild depression because of it, but now I have sort of toughened up to myself so it doesn't hurt me as much. But I still continue to do it and I have tried to get so much help from people on various forums, and I may stop for a few days, but then go back to mentally abusing myself again in that manner.

Is this detrimental enough for me to seek some professional help?

Updates

+1 y

Bump.

[Mesonfielde]

I'm honestly curious about one specific thing - do you think it is beneficial for you in any way?

Because I personally really doubt that. While technically all a professional could do is make you realize that you are incorrect in your self-assessment and tell you about the negative short-term and long-term effects of your current behavior, it would still be you who would need to realize that this behavior needs to stop.

By the way, I personally tend to say that if you have specific traits that you are absolutely unable to change, then you shouldn't give yourself shit about it, because all that will cause is harm. Why and how? Self-deprecation leads to mistrust towards yourself, and that mistrust leads to becoming unwilling to do actions even if they are right and valid.

And of course, why would it help you in any way that you're constantly telling yourself that you are a terrible person and you're ought to be hated? If anyone told you otherwise, you would still disagree - and in fact, question their motives and believe they're lying to you, trying to deceive you. This would further cause you to be more isolated, by which you would come to the conclusion that your original premise was right all along, and basically just reinforce your originally detrimental views: and in the end, there would be no one who could help you, because you would reject help for everyone. As anyone to disagree with your premise, would likely be lying to you, and want to laugh at you for your gullibleness, right?

Wrong.

Think about it.

And read what I say about confidence in this question: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1029148-what-is-confidence-how-would-you-define-confidence

It should be of help to you.

[Kinstrome]

Insulting yourself like that is most certainly detrimental to your psychological well-being. Even if you think you've toughened up, your mind is going to start to believe the things you say.

When you start to think that you've done something bad, counter that thought with a good reason why it's not true. If you think "I'm never going to meet a girl," for instance, remind yourself: "There are many people out there who will love me for me. Everybody has some bad qualities and some good. I still have many years ahead of me to learn about life and find love."

You're in the formative years of your life. I spent ten years being quietly suicidal, and I can tell you now that it's something that takes more work to reverse the longer it lies. If you're still beating yourself up after a few weeks or you start to feel suicidal you really should call a therapist for at least one session to see what they say. It is not a shameful thing to talk about, it takes courage to acknowledge a problem and deal with it.

[Zendrya]

Honestly I think emotionally harming yourself is almost as made and physical self harm. This is making you depressed hun which is not a good thing. Have you ever tried to physically hurt yourself? If you are considering the possibility of professional help it wouldn't hurt to try. You can always go tell them what is going on and they will tell you ways to help and whether you should make another appointment or not. You can message me privately too if you want. :) I hope you figure things out.

[Zendrya]

as bad as*

[udolipixie]

How is self-emotional abuse detrimental to my well-being?
In my opinion it depends on the gender and sexuality and as you're a seemingly heterosexual male I don't see it as any significant detriment.

Is this detrimental enough for me to seek some professional help?
Not in my opinion as you're not seemingly suicidal as there hasn't been a mention of an attempt.

[Mesonfielde]

People should probably seek help BEFORE they stop seeing any other alternative apart from offing themselves, you know. I don't really agree with your advice here, nor the specific differentation based on the fact that he is a male, and even more specifically a heterosexual one. Generalization is an error, as I tend to say - even if there are a bunch of pricks in the world.

[udolipixie]

@Mesonfielde
Meh it's a toss up in my opinion whether people 'should' probably seek help before they stop seeing any other alternative apart from suicide. I find some for some scenarios suicide does seem suited for that person.

Quite understandable that you don't really agree with my advice considering your gender and likelihood you're heterosexual.

'Generalization is an error' is quite an ironic statement as its generalizing itself. LMFAO

[OnceUponADream143]

I understand. I've done that too. and I do think professional help can help you stop those thoughts and replace them with more positive ones. For example, don't be so hard on yourself after mistakes. Say, "it's okay, I just made a mistake, I'm only human." instead of calling yourself "dumbass" or "retard" instead, when you start to think that say, no, I am not. I am very smart at (and say things you are smart at) hope this helped.

[Monsieur_Gamma]

I don't think there's need for professional help; one usually goes through this process at a young age, when they feel that they are slacking behind their peers. I actually think it's a good idea to call yourself names and such, because it gives you more determination and mental strength to do better in life.

[Sex_Panther]

"Is this detrimental enough for me to seek some professional help?"

Yes.

[apropos]

"sexually repulsive faggot"

Yeah, probably.