Please help me. Why am I so so depressed right now- on weekends mainly?

I don't know why I get like this, weekend after weekend.
I work full time all week long and can't wait to get home and relax.
When the weekend comes along I get so depressed I want to just jump right out of my skin.
I'm physically active, thin and fit, eat healthy whole foods, nothing helps. Those simple things don't help. I've tried antidepressants but they didn't work for long.

I live alone, it drives me crazy. I just came by my parent's house but it doesn't help.
I had a super busy weekend last weekend with friends but that also didn't help.

I cooked lunch for work, tidied up my apartment, watched some netflix, did my nails... Was out a couple hours this morning with my mother.

Emptiness. Bleak. Hopelessness. Nothing.

I worry about a significant other, as it wasn't until I got divorced that I started feeling truly empty. Totally over my ex, been a couple years now. But that would mean RELYING on someone else.

Is the workweek a distraction from this? Are these feelings depression? It never goes away. Even in my marriage I did feel low, but again, a distraction I suppose.

I'm waiting on a psychiatrist appointment to get a definitive diagnosis.

Right now I just want to die. I just want out. Can anyone relate? Is it because I live alone, is it depression, why? It's going to be a few months as there's a waiting list for this psychiatrist. Or psychologist, I forget which...
Please help me. Why am I so so depressed right now- on weekends mainly?
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