How do I revive a dying social life

[ryanontario]

my social life seems to be quieting down in recent months and weeks , well I did go out to the local bar for halloween and it was a busy night but that's sort of a given . the rest of the time I now no longer have much to do most of the time and is nothing at all to do on weekdays here I find . on friday or Saturday nights I resort to going to the bar by myself where I end up saying hi to the odd person I know but little more and I rarely come close to ever getting anywhere with a girl . and there is only 1 bar really worth going to in my town and a couple of so so sports bars . so there's not that many options to begin with .

i;m not sure what to do as it all really seems to be quieting down and my social life coming to a grinding halt this winter .

[Anonymous]

Are there other people you work with that you could befriend? Or do you know any friends of friends that you could get to know? This is sometimes an easier way than having to meet brand new people because you have something in common.

There are also social networking sites like gumtree (I don't know if that's in canada) where you can arrange to meet other people. I know this sounds a bit extreme but you sound really bored of your life right now. Perhaps its time to move somewhere bigger/get a new job? I don't know I'm just throwing that out there. I come from a small town originally and it IS quite cliquey. People know each other for years so its hard to make friends with a group of people that know each other so well. I live in a city now and honestly its so much easier to make friends, its a lot more transient because there's more people to choose from whereas in a small area you're stuck with the same people whether you like them or not! do you have a football team or anything like that at your work? That's a really good one for guys. Do you have a social club in your work? My old work had and we went out once every month-it was good fun so it might be worth considering doin that or even just organising an informal night out in the pub with some of your co-workers.

[Annette83]

It happens to most people at some point! I bet your friends are all either moving away to start new jobs or settling down with wives and kids. The only solution is to work harder to have a life!

It is a good sign that you are willing to go to the bar alone--you are obviously a social, outgoing person and you're not afraid to get out there. The problem with the bar scene is that it is pretty casual... You probably won't meet the kind of people who you can form friendships with there.

I think you should aim to meet people who you share an interest with. For example, when I had the same problem as you, I joined a kayaking club. I can go kayaking with these people regularly and I can call them up anytime to have dinner or a drink because we have things in common to talk about. I recommend you join a club too (soccer or cooking or movies or whatever you're into). You will find that most people in the club will be there to meet new people, you'll have fun learning how to so something new, and if you do a sport, you'll be getting exercise! It sounds like you live in a small town from your note, so I'm not sure how many clubs there would be, but keep an open mind and sign up for whatever if out there.

Good luck!

[ryanontario]

Well yeah that's sort of the case , my friends from work have largely gone back home as I was working at a resort this summer . my other friends seem to have other things to do and lost interest in just hanging out . I never though it be so tough to find soemthing to do at this age and in the town I lived in most of my life .

[Annette83]

Yeah, look for events and clubs. Make a huge effort to attend anything you can. Soon you will meet people and you'll be able to relax and make less of an effort.

[advicegirl19]

well all you ever do it sounds like is go to the bar. personally I want a guy that's fun and I not going to be looking in a bar to find that person. go places where you can have fun, that would help even invite some of your friends. like bowling, movies ect

[ryanontario]

Well I have been heavy on the bar scene in recent years but have meet a lot of girls thru it and many of them were pretty good looking . and in general most of the people my age I know go to the bars .

now there is other things to do here but options limited , like there is 3 gyms but the new big one is for women only and other 2 rather small . so I've never joined either . we have a movie threatre but I rarely have dates to take there so I don't go there by myself .

[advicegirl19]

Well sounds almost like my town but ours is worse, ya you probably will meet a lot of girls at the bar I'm not saying you won't but do you have a town close you can go to that is fun? I'm just saying find something to do that will get girls alooking at u. guys at gyms catch girls eyes! invite some buddies to play basketball or something

[Reeses-pieces777]

make more friends. network. go to church. join a sport. join a gym. friend people at work. I'm going out ever 2nd day this Christmas holiday season and I'm so busy with work right after exams. I'm sure you have mutual friends too so hang out with whomever ;) take care

[shortie]

I think the basis of a good social life is having a good core group of friends to hang out with- so I'd work on re-igntiting ur old friendships with people from the past whom you were close to and try and reesablish a circle fo friends who you can hang out with casually...thats teh thing about small towns, I go to University in one but I live in London, and the lack of places to hang otu can be a downer... xxxxxxxxxx

[enlightenment]

try organizing an event there. That will give you access to a lot of different people and get people and involved and work with you. AND a motivated guy is hot! Do something for a favorite charity, start an open mic night, or do an art showing. Create your good time...don't wait for it to happen