I need some help?

[Anonymous]

In high school I got hurt and was depressed and did drugs and cut. In January I had a miscarriage and cutting has been on my mind a lot. Yesterday was a bad day and I had thought about it all day long and had actually looked forward to it. I don't do it deep just enough to bleed but I don't let them heal, I pick at them and pull it apart. I was crying and so sad all day and had looked forward to doing it. When I got home I talked to my friend some and was still upset and crying and so when I got off the phone I got a razor and went for it. I don't like to do it quick I like to go slow and keep going over it until I'm done. Today I feel bad that I did it and don't want to start this again but I feel it's too late.

[I_am_repulsive]

You need help ASAP. Talk to a depression advisor. I've had depression all my life and what I usually do is distract myself by whatever means necessary. I haven't cut myself though, but depression can definitely lead you to do something serious and stupid. Please get help

[Asker]

I can't talk about my issues, I cry all the time. I don't wanna live anymore but I know there's no for sure way for that to happen and I don't wanna fail and have to live like that the rest of my life. I just don't wanna do this anymore

[I_am_repulsive]

Like I said, I've had depression all my life and it still hasn't stopped.. No matter how much I surround myself with people, I still feel like I'm the loneliest guy in the world. If you don't want to do it then don't. Find a way to not think about depressions.. Join a gym and meet new people. Hand out with your friends and family more often and try out new activities from time to time..

[Asker]

I've pushed everyone away, I sit home by myself all the time. My boyfriend is the only one I want to be with and he's not well at the moment so that's been hard. He also knows nothing that's been going on because I can't talk about it. I've started going to family dinners again but I have panic attacks every time because I can't stand having people around me like that.

[I_am_repulsive]

That's what I did in the past is push people away because I've always felt like being used... Your boyfriend is very important to you and he may be the only one who can help you through this. I've told my SO everything and she always cheers me up whenever I do feel down because out of the blue, it just happen like I'm normal for a second, then something will hit me up and be depress again. The more people know more about you the better they can help you. You can't face depression alone, it's only a matter of time before it wins when you're alone, but if you have someone to help you, it doesn't stand a chance.

[Asker]

I don't feel I can talk to him though, I told him about my rape and he was trying to go beat the guy up. If he reacted that way how am I supposed to tell him everything. I know I def can't talk to my family and I have no friends because the first time this happened I shut down and stopped talking.

[chercheur]

You need to see a doctor ASAP. You're cutting as a coping mechanism and it needs to stop. Through therapy you can learn helpful tools to use when dealing with your emotions. You deserve better.

[Asker]

I can't talk about my issues so I don't think it would help. I cry and am sad all the time.

[chercheur]

But if you knew you could find inner peace and be happy would you try? Maybe you're suffering from depression or anxiety and there is help for it if you ask. It can't be fun living the way you are. Consider it a gift to yourself. Consider it mandatory if you're going to become a mom.

[Asker]

Being happy just isn't gonna happen for me no matter what I do. I've been miserable and had horrible things happen to me the last few years and I just can't handle it anymore

[chercheur]

What about just talked on the phone with someone who will listen? I can post a toll free number if you want?

Everyone has their own cross to bear but for some the cross is much heavier. I hope you'll consider trying a therapist, male or female whichever you're more comfortable with, because it does help. Depending on what experiences you been through pick a therapist who specializes in that area. Trust me they've heard it all and it's all confidential. You aren't as alone as you think. If you have nothing to lose then just try it because you might find it feels really good just to get it out. Another thing you could try would be to journal. Whatever you choose I hope things get better for you.

[Asker]

I've tried online therapy and even then they don't wanna talk with me and I feel it's pointless to keep trying

[chercheur]

Maybe you would do better talking with your family doctor and finding someone nearby to talk with?

[chercheur]

Found this site and it looks like they have some good resources.

https://info.thehopeline.com/selfharm-resources

[emerald77]

You need to seek mental help, dear.