My sister says her becoming 130 lbs is almost suicidal?

Question

My sister is 5'7 and she is 200 pounds and we are trying to get her to lose weight so I told her to drop down to my weight which is 130 and thats a good size not too skinny not too fat but she says that would be horrible and almost a suicide mission cause it would be unhealthy and too skinny. And so we just fought about that and she just sounds unreasonable am I wrong?  Is that weight bad for her?

Ozanne · Accepted Answer

Why not leave her alone about her weight? It's a touchy issue. There is such a thing as being healthy at 200 pounds! And being 5'7, she is probably handling her 200 pounds nicely. I'm personally a bit tired of people toting the excuse that they're just worried about someone's health trying to make people in to thinking they aren't good enough when in actual fact, people are scared to admit that they wish their loved one wasn't fat. I am overweight myself, and speaking on behalf of all overweight people, we KNOW that we're overweight and we KNOW that dropping a few pounds might be more comfortable if nothing else. But our weight really is our business and ours to lose. We know if it's time to lose weight or if we're feeling just fine with the extra weight.

To suggest losing weight first of all is such a drag to hear, and secondly to come up with an actual number for the person to sit and do the math with: "Ohh god, that's 70 fucking pounds she wants me to lose..." is even more disheartening.

I would prefer to hear someone tell me that I'm beautiful just as I am because hey, weight can come and go and if someone is in my ear about it as I lose and gain, it becomes very intrusive. Think of one thing someone might be on your case about and imagine hearing about it all the time citing that they just worry about your health. Maybe a big mole on the face, or a skin condition, all things that could potentially be health concerns -- really unless the person is absolutely showing signs that they are gravely sick, or a heavy person who has had scares with heart troubles, picking at someone to lose some weight is a frustrating thing for an overweight person to hear.

If you have a good relationship with her and want to keep it that way, support what she wants to do, and if she asks your advice then give it. I'd apologize to her and tell her that you may have your concerns, but will agree to drop it and will be there for her no matter what size she is.

Sarah1996 · Accepted Answer

Let her be. You can tell her from me that i used to be 200 plus lbs. I got it (mostly) off within a year. Easy peasy once you hit that right frame of mind. Tell her she could just do it nice and slowly. She is taller, she does not have to drop overly low, not the same as someone who is 5ft 4 as she will be too skinny. Tell her from me to not let her weight climb up anymore, if you go too far, you risk loose skin issues. She's safe for that as she is (i bet she's also young) but it's not a place she wants to risk going. I avoided it for the most part (thankfully) I hated people telling me to lose weight before. I did it myself, when i was able to and when i was in a good place mentally. If you keep pressing this issue, you will cause more issues for her. You're most likely making her feel shit right now by mentioning this. It is VERY hard to lose weight but tell her this from me, this generic saying i used to hear and laugh at but i mean it. I did it and fucking hell, if i did, she can do. A tip.. DO IT SLOWLY, DON'T CUT EVERYTHING OUT IN ONE GO.

dangerDoge · Accepted Answer

130 pounds is a good weight. 200 pounds is pushing into the unhealthy range.
The problem is that she isn't motivated to do it. Also, it sounds like she went into a defensive mode when you told her to lose weight. Since a little pride is wrapped in it, she may be pretty stubborn about it more now.

To get her to lose weight and keep it, you are going to need her to get self motivated so she wants to lose it. You need to show her that it isn't impossible to do, that people have done, and that you care for her and are worried about her health. If you care about each other you can always play the "worried sister/family" emotional card.

JustinCaseUDontKnow · Accepted Answer

No you're just trying to encourage her and that is good you're
telling her but let her you love her , she needs to hear them words
overweight people are in denial and they don't want accept it
i know i came long way and if i can lose another 80 lbs i will stay
there cause i am like 5'9" - 5 "10" .. So i know what she's going
through it's not easy but when you see them people that are
400 and 600 lbs it;s scary let alone one being 200 . 300 lbs
and you know people can make fun of us but deep down they
are ones who have head issues,,

GirlsLie · Answer

I think you should be less worried about actual numbers and more about her being more healthy. She may not like her body at 130lbs and want to weight more but she should try to be healthier because she is pushing being a little too unhealthy at this point.

My sister is 5'8" and normally very skinny but she honestly looked her best and 180lbs and she liked being that weight as well, it's not reasonably unhealthy and she loved her body. Also i'm 5'3" and I weight 140lbs and I love the shape of my body at this weight and I don't have an interest in changing it. You need to encourage her to find a decently healthy weight that she loves and not pressure her to be your weight.

crystalt70 · Answer

I think 130 is pushing it for that height, but it depends on her frame. Not everyone of a particular height can look good at the same weight. A friend of mine was about 170 @ 5'8 and she looked fine. She decided to lose weight and now looks way too skinny. She had a nice figure before, but is like a stick on legs at the moment. She is about 135. Another friend of mine is 5ft tall and weighs 140. She is a shapely little cuban girl with a nice size butt. She has lost 15 lbs and wants to lose another 10-15 lbs. At 130, she will be hot. She shouldn't go more than that because of her shape and she works out with me. Muscle weighs more than fat does. You can have three people of the same weight, but varying in shapes, height, muscle to fat ratio, etc and they will all look totally different. There's more to weight than just fat, so people need to stop focusing on numbers.

Paris13 · Answer

Sibling sis is being not so much 'Unreasonable' but in Denial, you could say. She knows you yourself looks great at your own weight and to have her make snide comments like this one, she is Probably... Green with envy here, dear.
You and everyone can talk until you are blue in the face about her dropping some weight. She knows that she Should but isn't Motivated at this time to begin her beguine, so the best thing to do is to leave her alone and let her decide when it is time For... The cows to come home to roost.
The more you all push her, the less you will get from her. As my mom always says "Everyone has to do for themselves."
Good luck. xx

Goldie757 · Answer

I am 150 lbs at 5'8 and I'm slim. Maybe 145lbs would be a more realistic goal.

cavmanier · Answer

That's a healthy weight but it may not be healthy for her if she has a really big frame. Maybe she thinks she would have a hard time with only eating an amount of calories necessary to weight that much. The goal may be possible but I bet she's having a hard time imagining her at that weight.

Queen_naki5 · Answer

I'd say she starts at a goal of 170, which sounds less frightening and work her way down. 130 lbs is actually pretty thin on 5'7 frame. I'm 5'4 and even at 150, I still look pretty thin for the most part. Mainly because of my body type and how I dress.

523206720 · Answer

It depends on her metabolism and on her muscle / fat percentage. Getting down to 130 pounds might be impossible for her if that is how much she weighs counting only her skin, bones, brain and internal organs. It might be possible if she has a lot of body fat on her. Don't tell her how much weight she should lose but tell her she should build muscle and eat healthy because it makes life more exciting and allows her to meet cuter guys.

vmw2008 · Answer

I think you just set a really high bar too soon, you know? If she's 200 lbs she needs to focus on the first ten pounds, then the next ten. 130 is quite thin (not suicidal thin), but is almost too big of a goal for someone who is sitting at 200.

whattothink · Answer

Dude as long as she is earing healthy and exercising she will be the healthy weight for HER. Not everyone is the same weight and your individual body determines what it wants to be.

verticallyinsecure · Answer

U need to take at least 2 years to lose that kind of weight. take it too fast, loose skin is pretty much a sure thing. Also the body doesn't adapt to the sudden change and that can be dangerous.

YazanAA · Answer

Well then don't tell her to drop down to 130 lbs, let her drop down to 150 lbs for example and once that happened, you will see if that is good or not.

Climber · Answer

I am 5'6" and 140 pounds. I look lean, but not skinny.

blondfrog · Answer

Yeah that is a lot to lose you should have set a smaller goal for her to reach first like lose 10lbs first.

Likes2drive · Answer

No that's the right weight for her and still not skinny but will take awhile to get there so she may think it's to hard to get down to that

RationalMale · Answer

Yeah, no. She's obese and doesn't want to have to face that.

Keyspirits · Answer

I think ma sis is over 200 pounds and guys still dig her lel. Mainly Asian cuz were Asian 😝

Anonymous · Answer

No I'm the same height and weigh less than that. 130 is average for a woman that height.

Anonymous · Answer

lol - your sister is wrong. She should weigh around what you weigh or less.

Anonymous · Answer

she's just upset that you're bringing up she's overweight, let her cool off, she'll eventually come to terms with losing weight

Xelebrum · Answer

For her height, 150 is more realistic.

throwit · Answer

No it's a healthy weight

KidanisCortes · Answer

No she's fat an being fat is unhealthy

Anonymous · Answer

dayum she's fat

My sister says her becoming 130 lbs is almost suicidal?

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My sister keeps making comments about my weight?

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My sister keeps making comments about my weight?

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