How do I feel good about my body again?

[Anonymous]

I grew up in thailand, my mom is from there, my dad is American and growing up I was never ever insecure about my body. I don't know it's just not something that occured to me.
But when I was 16 we moved to the U. S. and since then I've been feeling awful about my body. I don't if it's age or different media, but suddenly when we moved I felt very insecure about the way I look and it hasn't stopped.

I know I'm not overweight but I feel I'm too thick. So I've been on a lot of diets but all of them eventually ended in me getting the cheeselovers pizza all for myself. And it made me bigger than I was when I started out. How ironic is that?
I turned down a few guys, because I felt I didn't deserve to be in a relationship until I was thinner and now obviously, still being "never kissed" so to speak I really regret that and I don't want to repeat that mistake.

This summer I was back in thailand, visiting my grandparents. One night I told my grandmother I didn't want more rice, because I felt guilty about all the carbs in the evening and she slapped me saying bascially "what are you doing, feeling guilty for eating? No one can live like that" and she's right, what am I doing? Feeling guilty about eating is insane

But the thing is, I can't stop it. I don't know how to?
I lost the weight I gained again in thailand so I'm back to 0 and I don't really want to repeat the feeling bad about myself and food. But then I just got back last week and it's already starting again. I saw some instagram posts and I caught myself wondering "what do I have to do, to look like that?"

[TheDevilInside]

How could you feel more weights conscious in the us than in Thailand? I'm now living in Thailand after living in Germany for years. If anything, Asians are way more strict about body size and being a fat person in Asia is 10x worse than being one in the western countries. People are so much more mean and less accepting, buying clothes and underwear... Forget it. You might as well make your own.

Your weight issues may have deeper roots than just liking pizza. Ignore the ignorant assholes who say nothing but "get your ass moving". So rude. As if every fat person is the same lazy person. Of course you should try to have a more active lifestyle. But also, try to analyze your psyche. Often times obesity has deeper issues. People often have deeper reasons as to why they are obese than simply because they are lazy. This is what is so fucked up abiut society. It likes to damn something it has no real understanding of and are just too ignorant and too arrogant to want to know why. Or it just likes to have a scapegoat so it doesn't have to take a look at its own ugly face.

[Asker]

I don't know, I never felt was considered big by thai standards, but I felt I was by US standards

[Azara]

You feel worse abiit the dawn bidy in the United States than you did in Thailand or you gained weight when you came to the United States and then felt bad?

Bc I think people are much bigger in the U. S. Then in Thailand so I'm not sure why you'd feel bigger herd unless you gained weight. Maybe it's bc people tend to be taller here which cane make you feel " thick" even if you're thin?

can you guve some detail?

Anyhow you don't have to obsess just figure out a healthy weight and calculate what you'll need to maintain that weight and stick to it. The. You don't have To worry about thins he suddenly changing it having your feelings go up or down with fluctuating weight :-)

[Asker]

I felt way worse in the U. S. I didn't gain weight initially and at first I was actually quite happy I would fit into xxs whereas at home I don't ever wear anything below s. But then it kinda changed after a few months I felt I wasn't thin and toned enough. It was constantly on my mind and I mean wherever you look there is another ad or celebrity to remind of it.
In thailand it just wasn't something I thought about and I don't think many girls do there

And the thing is I don't counting calories for the rest of your life is normal or makes you happy at all. As my grandma said it's insane and it IS. I don't want to do that for the rest of my life, I just want to leave, be happy and eat intuitively. I mean what could be more natural than eating?
I don't understand why people suggest workout and counting calories for this question, the whole point was to NOT do that

[Transigence]

It's because you feel your personal human value is the same as your value to attract a mate.

Because this has likely has evolutionary roots, it's something that probably won't ever go away. But it needs to be managed.

Just try to be healthy. (Eat good food, not corn syrup). And put your feelings on the matter in a box.

Oh, and let your suitors be the judge of whether you deserve their time.

[Asker]

I don't eat unhealthy, I eat much the same and my body stayed the same for a while until I started dieting but then it was a downward spiral from there and as I'm said I'm back to normal now, my diet wasn't what I was asking about

"Oh, and let your suitors be the judge of whether you deserve their time." well I can't that's the whole point of this question

[Anonymous]

There are kind of two issues here.

One is your attempts at healthier eating have failed, miserably, which is not uncommon.

The second is how you view things.

If you want to work just on the second, I don't have too much to say. If you want to work on them in combination (because in some ways there can be a link), let me know and I will advise you as I can.

[Asker]

Well no, I think my default diet is quite healthy, I never attempted to eat healthier, I wanted to lose weight and achieved the opposite

So ya this question was just about the second

[LuckyLittleLucy]

You are healthy. That is what i most important. And good health will make you beautiful. Also, loving your own body will make your more beautiful as it gives you confidence and stops you stressing about how you look.
Every time you think of something negative about your body or start to say "I wish that..." Stop yourself and look in the mirror and say how great your body is. Maybe you have a great jawline of really nice hair or anything and tell yourself that. Then tell yourself, that you're healthy and that should be proud of yourself! And remember, Instagram is filled with pictures that have been altered, photo-shopped and have filters put on them to change your perspective of them. They're not, nor will they ever be as good as you!
Be proud of your body!

[restore]

If you are at a healthy weight, just embrace the way you look. Work out and toss out the junk food. You don't have to go on diets or starve yourself to death. You don't need to run 5 miles a day. Just stay healthy and be you :) Quit trying to be someone you're not because I'm sure the way you look is just fine. The more you compare yourself to others, you'll be hurting yourself mentally and manipulating your mind into thinking you look bad. If you want, you can try toning down your body. Don't overdo it of course and make sure to seek help if you need it. Guys always say that a beautiful girl is a girl who is confident in her own skin. Be confident with the way you are and quit turning down guys because you're missing out! Good luck

[523206720]

Actually nobody knows why Asians are skinnier then americans but my theory is because Asian diets are low in gluten. While bread and pasta contains large quantities of gluten, rice contains no gluten whatsoever. Eat all the rice you want but avoid bread and cake. This will help you lose weight.

[Asker]

that seems like a very far fetch to me It's still a starch. The thing I notice is different is no or very little dairy obviously and way less meat, so I'd focus on those things instead of some invisible nutrient that you don't even know is there unless nutritionists tell you so

We make noodles out of wheat as well. Marco Polo stole the idea from china and brought it to italy. We make dumplings and cakes using wheat flour as well. So I'm not sure I see the connection here

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Mrs. Helen Tongchinsub. a school teacher from America met her first husband
from Thailand sad to say he never could adapt to American living
so he went back to Thailand to live and he did divorce her he
died from cancer but she was a great Teacher and she has grown
children who live in America and they all followed in her footsteps
one is lawyer but yeah sad when foreigners can't adapt to American
life.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Maybe you just need to find happiness within yourself , sorry you feel so bad cause Thailand have some beautiful people

[TripleAce]

How about just whatever,,, who cares about your body... seems like you care too much... focus your energy on other things in life

And just eat well and hit the gym... use standards don't make up your own idea of standards... if experts say you NEED 2000 calories, do it.. point final

[Skydas]

Start working out :) That's what I do and I don't have any insecurities about how my body looks. Diets for losing weight are pure bull in my opinion. There is no food that will make you thinner. Also the media one of the same kind. It is made to look good , the girls shown there are supposed to look good. Don't fall for it!

[Asker]

I do work out, this question wasn't about a diet or workout. It was about feeling good about your body

[Anonymous]

That's really interesting because bigger people are more commonplace in America. In Asian countries everyone is stick thin. So to feel bad in America and not in Thailand is the exact opposite of what I would expect. I'm a size 2 and I'm considered big to my Asian cousins.

[Anonymous]

STOP using social media and Instagram block it simple as that. Start controlling yourself.

Just as many guys now want to be big guys because of media is bombed with that. But I'm skinny just think how sad I was when I realized I can't gain weight easily I even puked because I was eating so much calories (especially rice)

Start loving yourself :)

[jjmarvin]

You sound like me when i was anorexic. I'm at work now but if you ever want to talk please pm me! I swear i dont mind!

[abundantlyrich]

What the?

You need help. Professional help.

[HighlanderTheOne]

You better start to move your ass.

[Anonymous]

What's your height and weight?

[KidanisCortes]

Just gpo to the gym...

[Cool1Egemen]

I dont understand

[Asker]

what part was unclear?

[Cool1Egemen]

I m soryy