Someone tell me what it's like to live with social anxiety and depression?

[Anonymous]

I've tried to explain to my boyfriend so many times what it's like and all he says is things like "just stop worrying and be happy" can someone explain in the comments how hard that is and why it's so hard and tell me your expierences with this mental disorder so I can screen shot it and show him another persons point of view.

[TheFangirl]

Anxiety: You can't order something without chanting your order in your head first to make sure you don't mess it up, because you are scared you will then someone will laugh or yell at you or something else bad will happen. Going to school or work makes you so nervous you want to have a mental breakdown, and cry in a corner somewhere no one can see you. Anxiety means that you don't go to parties and if you do you are so worried something will happen and you will get in trouble, or even something outlandish like you or someone else will get seriously injured or die. You can't breathe good when you panic, and that makes you panic more because you aren't breathing, and because you can't breathe when you panic you have even shallower breathing because your panicking. Most of the time you end up crying, coping mechanisms only work so well and half the time only calm you down enough that you won't burst out into tears and hyperventilate. Then you feel like a failure because you can't even carry out basic daily functions because you feel constant panic about everything. When you are sick and want to stay home from school you panic that you are going to miss something huge, and never be able to make it up and you will fail school, and get yelled at and never accomplish anything in life. If your sick and need to call off from work it takes you forever to actually build up the courage to call because you are so nervous that you are going to get yelled at or fired , or in trouble because you had to take the day off. You are constantly afraid you are bothering everybody, and that everybody hates you and you hesitate to even just talk simple things to your friends because you are afraid they will get annoyed with you and hate you. Most of the time you know that you are being completely irrational but that doesn't even matter because no matter what you just can't stop and it makes you feel like crap. You always ask friends to go to the counter to pay with you, or order, or go places with you because you are afraid to go alone. In class you probably don't answer the question even if you know the answer, but that doesn't matter because you are too nervous to raise your hand and too scared something will go wrong. Basic things are huge tasks, and you are always worrying and you overthink everything wayyy too much and you can't control it but you hate it and it makes you feel like crap.

[TheFangirl]

Depression- You are sad, or emotionless. Getting out of bed is difficult, doing anything is difficult. You don't even see the point in things anymore. All you want to do is stay in bed and sleep. You see your friends getting happy about things and it hurts you that you can't feel the same way, and you don't know why you don't, but you want to so bad it hurts. Then you don't want to go out with friends because you feel like they won't miss you anyways and that they are better off without you, and that you will just bring them down. You feel horrible that you can't feel the excitement they are and if someone asks about it you have to explain to them and listen to them just say to cheer up and you can't cheer up, you don't know how to. It isn't your choice and you feel completely out of control and like you never want to do anything because you are just so tired of everything and will probably mess everything up, and you don't want to go out with friends, they will just ask you what is wr

[TheFangirl]

ong the whole time, and you will probably feel like a burden and that you shouldn't have come and that your friends hate you. You want to do things but you just feel so numb and you are so tired and don't feel like faking it anymore and you just want to stay home but you can't you have to do things even though it kills you inside to do so, but that doesn't matter because you don't have a choice and that makes it even worse. You just want to be left alone, but at the same time you want someone to talk to, but you don't know what to do because then they will ask questions and won't understand and you don't want to talk about it, you just want to try and have fun and be happy and it is hard. You don't hate them for having questions, but it is hard to answer them because you probably don't even understand. You want someone too understand you without you having to answer questions and you want to go out and talk to your friends and get good grades but it is just so hard to do it all, and it

[TheFangirl]

, and it makes you so tired emotionally and physically and you just want it to stop but it won't and your struggle so much with everything and it sucks.

[TheFangirl]

Both together- You want to stay in bed because you feel so bad or so numb, but then you think that you will miss something big and fail school so you have to go, but it is hard to just get out of bed and then you get to school and you just want to cry and go somewhere alone because you feel like if you go to your friends you are bothering them, or they might just brush you off but then you feel like if you go somewhere to try and feel better you will get in trouble or someone will ask you what is wrong and you don't know how to explain what is wrong in a way that they will understand, but they ask you to try and it is just so frustrating too. But then you are also scared they will brush you off and send you back to class and then you will cry infront of everybody and just feel like you can't do this day. You just want your friends to come and cheer you up, but you can't ask them too because you don't want them to think you are needy and or you don't want to bother them because then

[TheFangirl]

they will hate you and think you are so annoying. Then you want to talk to someone about it but you feel worried that they might brush you off, so you think it isn't worth it and not only do you feel exhausted form having to be with people but you are also really worried because you have to deal with people and are afraid to get yelled at, and just want to have stayed home all day but you can't because then you would fail everything. But your grades are suffering because you can't concentrate because you feel like crap and because you just can't stop worrying. But at the same time you just feel done with everything but you can't be done because anxiety doesn't stop and your struggle to keep up with it because you don't want to fail. But the other part makes it hard not to give up and just stop trying. Then you get those brief moments of happiness but that doesn't matter because soon they will be gone and you can't help but ruin being happy because you know it won't last and you bring

[TheFangirl]

yourself down, and worry that you will never be happy again and it makes you want to cry, but you can't do anything about it and it is just so so hard to try anymore but you panic if you don't try, and it just is so hard to do anything, but hard to do nothing at all also. It is just a really really bad experience.

[Anonymous]

I have anxiety. I wouldn't say it's strictly social anxiety, but it can be triggered by social situitions. I was at work once (a retail job), and we were really busy one day. I was in the middle of helping someone and one person after another kept approaching me and asking for help and I was getting very overwhelmed. Then I noticed my hands were shaking. Then I couldn't breathe right. I was heaving and I couldn't control it. I ran to the back and forgot about everything I was supposed to be doing and started crying and heaving and crying... my coworker was trying to figure out what was wrong but I couldn't get any words out. That's what an anxiety/panic attack looks like for me. They are often triggered when there are a lot of people around me. I had one at a pep rally once in high school because all of the loud people and flailing arms freaked me out.

It feels like I'm being crushed by the energy and presence of other people, as if it has substance to it that can hurt me. I HAVE to get away from it. I feel like I'll be hurt if I don't. It's a fight or flight instinct. Sometimes I lash out at people if I'm holding it back.

It's hard to understand if you don't have it. Any fear is that way. I don't understand why people are afraid of bugs, for instance. I like bugs and they aren't threatening to me, so it's almost impossible to wrap my head around the fear other people have of bugs.

[Bandit74]

We all feel emotions but we don't choose what emotions to feel. They just happen. Just like someone doesn't choose to become angry about something, you don't choose to be anxious about something. Anger is something we all experience but someone with anger issues will have their anger triggered more easily and will have more intense fit of rage over things that "normal" people might consider trivial. Your boyfriend likely becomes anxious at times, The main difference is your anxiety is triggered more easily by things he might not consider significant and when you get anxious, it is likely more intense than when he experiences it.

Ask your boyfriend to think of a time in his life where he felt empty, out of energy, sad stressed or hopeless and if having someone say "just stop worrying and be happy" would make a difference.

Most likely he will say no.
Now he needs to understand that you feel like that all the time and not just on rare occasions.

[meatballs21]

hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/.../...pression.html

hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/.../...part-two.html

https://www.depressioncomix.com

Have a read first (especially the last link) and pick some that really speak to you.

[MyNameIsJonas]

You can move past anything although it takes time and help from others.