Help me find a way through this?

I am 22 I started smoking drinking when I was 16 due to peer pressure. I started marijuana at 19 and codeine syrup at 20. But now since last 3 months I am clean no drug use. But my parents still dont trust me because I still look sick like drug abuser. They dont trust me. I have done thefts in my home. Because I couldnt continue my studies due to drug abuse my carreir is wasted and I can't study anymore even if I try to. I am unqualified so no on will give me job. I have symptoms of neuro disease like burning sensation in fingers of left hand soft erections confusion. When I tell this to my parents they say they dont have money to show me to doctor and get tests done although they have. Now I dont have friends or girlfriend because I have no money they all have started behaving with me as though they are superior and try to maintain distance or make fun of me. I am really depressed I can't understand what to do. I sometimes think sucide is best way to end all problems and make my parents realize money isn't everything.

Updates

+1 y

Give me some tips to die instantly and painlessly. I can't take it anymore

Updates

+1 y

I used to make fun of poor and ugly ones in my school to such extent they were ashamed to face anyone The same is happening with me now KARMA IS FOR REAL I have learnt a lesson

Anonymous

(30-35)

Sounds like you need a total life change. Work on getting your parents trust again, surround yourself with friends who are a better influence than the previous ones, and try and pick up a part time job. Once you save up some money go to the doctor for your issues, then if you feel up to it continue school via a GED program or something.

duke10

+1 y
I dont want to live more there is no one who loves me I tried everything to gain my parents trust my father might help me but my mom will always instruct him to stay harsh with me. I dont feel normal mentally dont know if I can do a job and I look so sick no one will like to see me in thier office. Although before starting drugs I was beast looking guy in my class.

Reply
duke10

+1 y
best* not beast

Reply
duke10

+1 y
I am the one responsible for my sucide I am a waste and dont deserve to live anymore Goodbye Everyone Karma is for real I AM DONE

Reply
Opinion Owner

+1 y
You had a bad time in your life. Doesn't mean you should end it. Just means you need to stand up, brush the dust off, and don't hesitate to ask for help. Be patient with your parents. Your mom probably pits a bit of the blame on herself because she wasn't harsh enough, so she's trying to communicate that now. Your father seems to be trying to help regardless. Just be helpful and honest with them. Tell them you know you messed up and you want to get better, but would like their assistance and support.

Reply
duke10

+1 y
I have no money result is that i have no friends no girlfriends no phone I m using my dads laptop to communicate and that too by sneaking when they are sleeping

Reply
Opinion Owner

+1 y
Again, honesty is key. Start to build a relationship with your parents where you don't have to lie or sneak around. Then focus on friends and eventually a girlfriend. One thing at a time.

Reply
duke10

+1 y
as a kid i used to imagine at 22 I will be a hot college boy with many girlfriends and cool bike but now I can't bear what I am can't face this reality

Reply
Opinion Owner

+1 y
Then change it if you don't like it. You have the power to do so.

Reply
duke10

+1 y
but i feel powerless i am depressed i have symptoms of multiple sclerosis i always feel low and even after quitting drugs no change I think I am seriouly fucked up

Reply
Opinion Owner

+1 y
Well the drugs I'm sure didn't help your situation regardless. Talk to your parents about your depression and other medical problems.

Reply
duke10

+1 y
they dont give shit to my problems my life is totally fucked up you won't understand my situation my parents my sisters want me to leave the home but what will I do then kill myself or beg

Reply
Opinion Owner

+1 y
If your parents didn't care they wouldn't do anything to associate with you, they would essentially just let you do what you want and not care what trouble you get into.

Reply
duke10

+1 y
eariler they used to care now they dont and even if I die they will cry for day or two and then live normal life they love thier money and thier daughters more than me

Reply
Opinion Owner

+1 y
No parent has no love for their kid. They will miss you. They will cry. It will tear open a hole in their hearts because you're their kid. Of course they're always going to care, even if you don't think they do.

Reply
duke10

+1 y
but what is the use of crying when they loose me now I am crying and they just ignore me I have serious neuro problem I look sick like a patient and they jsu won't take me to doctor I dont want such parents I will make babies only If I am capable of nurturing them and taking care of them until the day I die I think I am a mistake my dad forgot to wear a condom and I am the result

Reply
Opinion Owner

+1 y
I highly doubt that. You're thinking too negatively. Try and take a deep breath and look at your life as a whole, you can't say your parents have always been how you say.

Reply
duke10

+1 y
Well thanks a lot for spending your precious time to help me May God Bles You and I can confidently say you are/will be a great wife. a great mother and you are a really great person Hope this tunne of darkness will end soon I want to become happiest guy on this planet and I will try to do so against all the odds

Reply
Opinion Owner

+1 y
Thank you, that's very flattering. I see a lot of promise in you getting back up on your feet. Just try to remain positive and work at it. I know it's hard but I believe you have what it takes!

Reply