I know logically I'm really skinny but I feel really fat?

[Anonymous]

I'm 17. For a reference I'm like an xsp shirt, size 25 waist in pants, and a size 4 dress. I'm also really short so I'm like what people consider petite and I know this and can understand it. But emotionally I feel really large. I see these huge thighs with stretch marks on the inside. I also see this stomach that is squeezable and flabby. I by no means have an eating disorder. I eat a lot and always eat until full (unless I just don't like what's for supper) so I'm just naturally the weight I am. I'm between 105-110lbs and would love to be 100lbs but I know that isn't healthy for me so I haven't tried to achieve it but that longing is still there. I've been to therapists and they pretty much all say I'm okay even though I've wanted to self harm because I hate my body so much most days. Like it probably makes no sense to others but the voice inside of my head is like taunting me, telling me to go look in the mirror and see how disappointing I am... It probably sounds dumb but whatever. Anyway so I guess I was wondering if others have experienced this and have recommendations other than therapy since that didn't work.

[redeyemindtricks]

Hey babe!

I'm a fitness model/competitor, and I train younger aspiring models.

What yr talking about is all too common. You don't really have a choice, in feeling like that. But, you DO have a choice, in what you DO with it.

One of those double-edged sword things. Kinda like when people feel dissatisfaction in other areas of life.

One option is to just sit there and marinate in that feeling of dissatisfaction.

The other option is to use it as the basis for self-improvement.

I mean, think about labels like "ambition", "drive", etc. Those are really just the same thing yr feeling, except people are taking that feeling and using it for concrete gains. "Ambition" is EXACTLY the same thing as "dissatisfaction".

You may want to see what you can do about transmuting this feeling into something more positive. The younger people I train, that's their story, a lot of them. They had that same feeling and decided they wanted to go do something with it.

Just think about that, at least. Think about whether you can use this as a source of motivation. Rather than a source of discouragement.
It will start out as self-bullshitting at first, but you'll be surprised at how quickly you can effect real changes in yr views of these things.

[cookiesandcream]

I think you may have Body Dysmorphic Disorder... I suggest you seek a mental health specialist or therapist. I think it's normal for girls - especially teenage females - to be unhappy with their physical appearance. This phase may pass, but if it doesn't please consult a general practitioner, he or she should know which steps to take from there.

[Asker]

I've been this way since I can remember and I have been to a therapist. It was to see if I had depression but my self esteem issues came up and I was told I had anxiety and sent on my way. This happened 3 times

[cookiesandcream]

BDD is different from depression. Sent on your way? How many therapists have you seen?

[Asker]

I've seen 2 therapists and a nurse. There aren't many options where I live. I'm from a small town. And I know they aren't but I brought up my self esteem problems and they just got dismissed

[ichot]

Maybe because you can't/aren't doing anything with your body? If you can run a 6min mile I don't think you'll be worried about being fat.

[Asker]

I take 3 dance classes a week. I'm definitely doing stuff with my body

[Anonymous]

How tall are you? Because I'm 5' 3" and I weigh 110. And I actually feel the same as you expect I have had trouble with eating disorders. I'm just not "petite"

[Asker]

I'm 5'1

[Opinion Owner]

Ohh ok

[Iamathinker]

I'm the same exact way.