How to recover from anorexia nervosa and still maintain healthy lifestyle to lose weight?

Anonymous
I don't want to go to a therapist bcaue I'm fat. I'm 175cm and 14 years old and my parents and my best friend encourage me to eat less when I eat 1000 to 1200 calories per day and exercise 4 hours a day because they want me to model. Right now I injured my legs I have a muscle cramp so I can't do that and right now since i can't do intense exercising although I really want to. I eat 800 calories per day and my parents and my bff encourages it to. It's been going on for a while aND I hate it. Before I thought it was okay but I did some research and saw the symptoms of anorexia and I notice I have almost all of them. I'm so dizzy I can't think and I feel so tired and weak. I also have trouble sleeping no matter what time I go to bed. I feel like passing out. I really don't want to continue being anorexic but i still want to lose weight and be healthy. But today I ate slightly more than usual ( 1500 to 1800 calories) aND I checked my scale right after dinner and I gained 2 pounds and I started crying (I'm not lying) and went to jog for 10 min even though my leg was injured and I felt like passing out. My parents encouraged me. I want to stop being anorexic but I want to still lose weight the healthy way because I need to be as skinny as a model. (Please I know some of you may say I don't but I'm actually fat so please answer my question). How do I eat right again? It's really hard for me to eat until I'm full. And I want to lose weight. I feel like passing out right now. I can't really type more. But you get what I mean. So how do I stop while maintaining healthy lifestyle? It's not as easy as "just eat!" (Today was my friend's birthday and they kept on encouraging me to eat cake but I cried and didn't eat it)
How to recover from anorexia nervosa and still maintain healthy lifestyle to lose weight?
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